It had started as something small and escalated in to something bigger. Jessica was just having a bad day, she had been sick all morning and spent hours bent over the toilet. She was tired and cranky, so when Horatio came home late, she started snapping at him. Even though he had warned her several days ahead that he would be late this day, she couldn't help herself. Horatio took it like a gentleman, he could see she wasn't feeling well. But when he cooked food and she started complaining about most things about the food, Horatio had snapped and told her to cook her own damn food.
Now the couple were in the living room, yelling at each other. They were both glad that Kyle was spending the night at his mother's place.
"I can't like every dish you make!" Jessica yelled, "Just because I happened to dislike this one, doesn't mean I'm a witch or something."
"You complained about how the table was set and that the food had no salt in it, the water wasn't cold enough and I had come home late!" Horatio growled, "Everything was wrong according to you."
"I am entitled to have my opinions!"
"But you don't have to say it with such an annoying tone."
"I've had a bad day, I've spent hours bent over the toilet and you weren't here!"
"You could have called me and I would have come home!"
"Oh so coming home when I'm sick is okay, but not coming home in time because you love me and want to have dinner with me." Jessica sighed in frustration.
She knew what she said wasn't true. But her mouth didn't seem to be connected to her brain.
"I told you a week ago that I had to be in court all day and most of the evening. How was I supposed to know you were sick when you didn't even call me?"
"Why didn't you call to check on me?" Jessica snapped.
"Oh please, this can go on forever. I could have done that and you could have done this. It's useless to even fight about." Horatio sighed, "Maybe you should see a doctor…"
"So now I have to see a doctor because I want my boyfriend at home for dinner or because I complained a little about the food, is that it?"
"No, maybe you should see if you have the flue or something." Horatio said and tried to calm himself down.
"And maybe you should get a job that doesn't require you to work so goddamn late!" Jessica growled and went to the bedroom and slammed the door shut.
Horatio ran a hand through his hair and knocked on the door.
"Jessica, calm down. We're fighting about useless things. We're just trying to piss each other off right now."
"Go to hell Horatio!" Jessica yelled, "I want to be alone."
"Jessica…"
"Why don't you go to work? They probably need you more than I do."
"Yeah, apparently you don't want or need me anymore!" Horatio snapped.
He put his shoes on and went outside. First he just stood outside the front door, unsure of what to do next. Both he and Jessica needed to calm down. With a heavy sigh, he drove the hummer around in the city, hoping that Jessica would call once she calmed down.
"Horatio?" Jessica asked and opened the bedroom door.
She felt anger rise inside of her again as she understood that he was gone.
"Fine, if I'm such a pain in the ass, maybe I should just leave." She growled and grabbed a bag from the closet to pack some clothes in.
As she put one item after the other in the bag, she started to realize that she was doing what she had always done before. After the first fight she would leave. Jessica knew that she always got very angry if she lost control of herself. She said things she didn't mean and her escape was always to leave. She had to change that. Horatio was the best thing that had happened to her and she knew that couples fight. Her parents also fought sometimes and they hadn't left each other because of it.
"Damn, I'm so stupid." She sighed and sat down on the bed.
She felt tears fall from her eyes and she unpacked her clothes from the bag. She was not going to leave. She loved Horatio. She had just pushed his buttons today and now he had gone.
"Please come back to me Horatio." She whispered and she laid down on the bed and hugged the pillow.
Deep in her heart she knew that Horatio had just gone out to cool down. And that he had also left so that she could cool down. Jessica and Horatio had only been together for four months now, but it felt like they had always been together. Jessica felt bad for yelling at Horatio.
-I-
Horatio had ended up outside Frank's apartment. He didn't know how he had got there, but there he was and his friend invited him in. Frank knew how hard it could be to fight with someone you loved. But, sometimes fights meant that couples could grow even closer than before.
"You and Jessica had a fight?" Frank asked.
"How did you know?"
"You have the look of anger and defeat in your eyes." Frank said, "You're still slightly pissed at her and want to stay away to get back at her. But on the same time you want to surrender and go home to just see her."
"I should go home."
"Maybe you should call and see if she's willing to let you inside the house." Frank said.
"It's my house."
"Why do you keep saying that?" Frank asked.
"What?"
"Your house." Frank said, "You asked her to move and she's lived with you for two months. Yet you still consider it to be your house."
"I bought it…"
"But she lives with you there. It's also Kyle's house." Frank said.
He knew that Horatio still had an ounce of fear inside of him and that's why he still referred to the beach house as his house. Especially now that he had had a fight with Jessica.
"I um… I've lived there alone for so long." Horatio said.
"Yes, but as soon as Marisol set her foot there you called it her house as well." Frank said.
He was trying to get through to Horatio and for his friend to open up to him. The red head was always very private.
"I know." Horatio sighed, "I gave everything I had to Marisol."
"Was it worth it?"
"I don't know, we got so little time together."
"And deep inside you're worried that Jessica will leave." Frank said, "You won't call it her house until a certain amount of time has passed."
"I don't want to have that feeling of it being our house and then she will leave and it will be just my house again." Horatio sighed.
"Love hurts H, but if you don't give your heart to Jessica then you risk causing problems for the two of you."
"I know, I know. I just have a wall around my heart that tells me to slow down and wait for just a while longer to pass."
"So referring to the house as yours, is only a way of expressing your fear of being alone again." Frank said, "Tell me, what is your future with Jessica? What does it look like?"
"We get married and have children. Then we stay with each other until our dying day." Horatio said firmly.
"What was your future view of your relationship with Julia?"
Horatio frowned for a while. He had never seen himself having a long future with Julia. He had seen himself being with her for a couple of years, but he always knew that in the end they would split up.
"That I would get to be with her for a few years at least." Horatio said.
"And with Marisol?"
"That she would want to be with me until I got too old."
"Well, Marisol loved you very much. She told Eric that she would never leave you." Frank said, "Jessica has said the same thing."
"I've had other girlfriends say the same thing and yet they have still left."
"I know you're afraid of being left alone." Frank said, "But what is different with Jessica from the other girls you've dated?"
"That she's given herself to me completely. That she has opened up to me." Horatio said.
"Don't you think you should do the same? Even if it's scary." Frank smiled.
Horatio nodded. Frank always knew what he was feeling and thinking. And he always knew how to get through to Horatio's thick skull.
"I should go home and talk to her." Horatio said.
"You should give her your heart. I know you say you can trust her with your heart, but saying and doing are different things." Frank smiled, "Now you got to do just that."
"I will." Horatio smiled, "Thanks Frank."
"Anytime."
Frank smiled as Horatio left and he heard the hummer drive off. It was time for Horatio to really take the step and give his heart to Jessica. She was the one for him. Horatio had to face his fears.
-I-
Jessica was sleeping in the bed, hugging the pillow when Horatio got home. He sat down next to her and kissed her cheek. Jessica stirred and pulled Horatio in to a hug when she saw him.
"I'm so, so sorry!" Jessica cried, "I've just had a bad day and I said things I didn't mean. I was just so tired and had to take it out on someone."
"I'm sorry too." Horatio said, "I um, I talked to Frank some."
"He didn't threaten to beat some sense in to me did he?" Jessica smiled.
"No, he um, told me to not only say that I could trust you with my heart, but to actually do it." Horatio said, "To face my fears of being left alone."
"I will never leave you." Jessica said, "I packed a bag after you left, because that's what I would have done if you would have been one of my ex-boyfriends. But then I just realized, that you are you. You're Horatio and I don't want run away from you."
"And I realized that you're Jessica and that you're the woman that should know everything about me." Horatio smiled and kissed Jessica deeply.
"I love you Horatio, I really do."
"I love you too." Horatio smiled.
Jessica and Horatio laid down in the bed and snuggled closely. Horatio started telling Jessica about his past and his fears. Jessica did the same to him. As they talked they could feel their love grow and they both fell asleep with a smile.
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