Disclaimer: One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda. Many of the characters in this story are property of me. Do not use this story or its characters without my permission. Thank you.


In a room with a marvelously high-vaulted ceiling of stone and ornaments of Gothic wood and stone a battle suddenly erupted!

"Tally-ho!" the leading knight shouted as he ran forth.

"ORYAAAAHHH!!!" Reginald roared. He stomped far forward with one leg and punched hard with the opposite arm, leaning into the blast as much as possible. He dented the breastplate armor into a permanent punch that picked the knight up off the ground and forced him far away through the air.

"BOLLOCKS!" the knights shouted in pain. The rest of the company was impeded with fear for but a moment, giving Reginald enough time to continue his rampage. He picked one man up by his armored head and threw him against three others. When he was jabbed at with a spear he broke it with a chop and ax-kicked the shoulder of said jabber.

"Have at ye!" a knight shouted, charging in with a sword and shield drawn. Reginald took his armored boot to the bottom of the shield and kicked it into the knight's throat. The knight chocked and wobbled away until Reginald gave him a glorious punt up to the ceiling. The company formed full circle around him and his ne'er do well accomplice with spear men making threatening thrusts and swordsmen shaking and rattling their steely bars against their opposition. Reginald found himself trapped and grimaced with his body well spread for fighting.

"I'll be having none of this" he snarled. Wait, why am I talking like that!? Is the drug still within my system? No, then I would have thought 'is the drug in my system still', I'm alright, I'm just a bit frazzled right now. These overwhelming numbers don't bode well for Rez and I. Rez thought different.

"What's wrong, knave?" a deep voiced knight called to Rez. He stayed as statuesque as he had always been, arms folded and heels together, waiting for someone to move out of line and attack him. He was in counter-attack mode, and he was a dreadfully serious as solid in his stance.

"Try poking at him" a knight whispered to a spear-wielding brother. The spear went forward and just stopped out of Rez's range. Then it retreated.

"He moves not" a knight observed.

"Perhaps he has passed out?" a knight asked.

"Approach him and see" another suggested. One random sword-wielding knight was pushed out of the circle and toward Rez. At first he was hesitant, but then he became assured by his brothers. He approached Rez and wagged his sword in his face, seeing no movement anywhere. Rez was lost in his duelist world and could not be stirred at the moment.

"He is died" the knight mocked. "His mind no longer lingers here! He's a nob-head!" The knights all chuckled softly at the remark. The taunting knight took his eyes away from his frozen opponent and made another sniping joke at his expense. "He's got no more wits to him than a rock! No more a mind that a hors-fly! He's a gob-stopper this one!" The knights started busting up with loud and cacophonous laughter.

Rez suddenly snapped out of his world in mid-movement. He was lurching forward with his right leg pulling his body and his left arm reaching for a gun. The knights all started freezing up in fear at around the same time, but the knight closest to the danger was far too late in his reaction. Rez was almost upon him, the glare of his metal blade now shining from its sheathe. The knight made a brash move and started raising his sword to strike Rez down.

It was instantaneous. Rez caught the arm of the sword in his right hand, quick-drew and shot his left-side gun with a heavy rubber slug, and dented the knight's armor, stunning him. The bullet then bounced from face-plate to face-plate according to Rez's absolute and perfect calculations. One bullet stunned and felled seven men.

"Boom" Rez said in a near whisper. He twirled his gunblade stylishly around his finger and pulled his captive body in close so he could kick it away at the remaining linemen. He had thinned his aggressors by almost half now. The rest were keeping a tight line around Drakengard, who was still keeping them away enough that he couldn't grab any of them. Both young men seemed to be in some tough spots at the moment, but it would only get better as they fought.

"This is getting boring" the stone wall said tiredly. Only one knight heard it and turned in shock to see the demon wall that spoke aloud. The solid stone started melding and morphing into the shape of a man with angular hair that formed a sort of pyramidal spike atop his head with largely serrated bangs and two metal bumps above the left eye. "Even if I'm hurt, I can still fight." Before the man could gasp or scream, Zan was upon him. He jumped from the wall and scared his enemy stiff with his phantasmic appearance.

"Phantom Grip" Zan sternly but quietly incanted. He phased his hand almost effortlessly through the soldier's metal armor, through the leather underneath, through the cloth underneath that, then through the flesh and muscle and blood all the way to the heart. He solidified enough of his hand to grab that heart and keep it from beating as loudly or as well. Now his enemy was slowly dying and silently breathed for help.

"Good night" Zan said. He waited for his enemy to fall totally limp, his heart nearly motionless and dead, then retreated his hand. He would not kill someone so unworthy in such a crowded place. His hand was bloodless, dry as when it entered, and so he left with no evidence of his attack but the glint that caught him in the corner of Rez's super-analytical eye.

"Grah!" Reginald shouted in frustration. "I don't have time for all you weak little sprouts! I need to have it out with that motherless pig, Rupert!"

"How dare thee!?" the knights shouted in great disgust. "Ho dare ye, to say such filthy things about our great king! Prepare for death!" Rez made another precise shot that went straight through his line into the other, hitting all the enemies immediately in front of Reginald, cutting him a path.

"Press on, Rezland!" Reginald called. "We shall meet again before this battle ends!" Reginald jumped across the hole Rez made him and started for the exit. In front of it he saw two brass candle holders and stretched his arms out to scoop them up. These would be his weapons for the remainder of his fights within the castle.

"Good luck" Rez quietly said.

"Drakengard is retreating!" a knight from Rez's front announced.

"Nay!" another knights said with dread. "He hunts our great king Rupert! We must chase him down!"

"I think not!" Rez said. The knights returned their attention rightly on Rez, who now held his huge gun in its proper sword-wielding stance. "You're either finishing your fight here...or you're not going anywhere!" The knights were afraid, that's for certain, but the love of their king gave them the confidence to stand and face down Rez...with fear in their eyes.


Edmund held his sword tightly in hand and charged forward, tears streaking his ugly, ugly face. Araly was ready. She retrieved a slip of paper with metallic writing on it and held it like a thin knife in her fingers. Edmund instinctively slowed down and stopped just short of what seemed to be Araly's range.

"Pray tell madame" Edmund started, "what does that particular card do?"

"It kills you" Araly said bluntly. She wound up her arm and prepared to pitch her new card. Edmund brought his sword up to guard what was left of the thing on his head that he called a face. Araly threw her card and it carved itself into Edmund's sword, slicing it apart near the hilt. The card was solid and straight as steel, the ink obviously providing some kind of hardening metal powers. "Razor Card. Cuts like steel, light as paper." The audience gasped.

'Does her witchcraft know no end!?' 'How long must this fighting go on!?' 'He is uglier than all sin!' were the very mixed reactions of the tense crowd. Gretta was getting quite interested at last, using a pair of binoculars to keep track of the action as it unfolded. Colleen was officially out and Araly was doing well to hold off her own opponent using nothing but enchanted paper. However, Edmund was not only a brilliant swordsman in the royal guard, he was a quite notorious hand-to-hand fighter as well.

"I shall show ye" Edmund threatened. He struck a pose, legs straddled apart and arms pumped at his sides with tight fists clenched. He started walking in a bow-legged shuffle forward with his hands coming up in a grabbing motion at Araly. If this was his style of fighting it was ridiculous, so much so that both Gretta and Araly made an unamused scoff.

"Afraid, are ye?" Edmund growled, inching ever closer. The audience curled up to the backs of their seats, Emily excluded. The bug was still on her shoulder, after all, and disturbing could kill her. "I can see it in your beautiful face! Thou have shown me fear! Now witness my aged and amazing weaponless style of grappling that I have brilliantly named 'Wrestling'!!!"

"You didn't invent that" Araly said factually. "Wrestling has been around for a really long time in the real world." Edmund stopped and considered his rebuttal. The audience stayed on edge for the most part, waiting anxiously for the next words or actions to unfold. Edmund spun his head around with an embarrassed, huge smile and white bulging eyes. "Idiot!" Araly angrily added.

"I've had enough of this" Araly said. She reached into her sack of paper and pulled out one very special card made of golden and black ink. The character was very similar to the design she made for the Buster Pirates, a dragon's skull, with two triangular jaws and rows of sharp, triangle teeth with two mean, slanting eyes against and a pair of pointed horns against crossbones behind. The gold and black mixed and swirled around in a magical way on the slip of paper, making dancing patterns of light in the air. I'll need a really good name for this card...

"I've wasted enough time!" Edmund shouted, snapping back into his wrestling pose. "I shall break all your beautiful bones!" The audience was now tired of Edmund's overly dramatic idiocy. Even Ramone pulled out his living eyeball form Emily's shoulder and allowed her a heavy sigh of relief.

"Thank goodness that is over" she said under her breath.

"On the contrary" Gretta said from behind, leaning down over her shoulder. Emily turned in shock to see what had taken the post that the dreadful fly had left open and saw her princesses expressionless face and gold-plated binoculars. "This fight has only begun."

"Hiyah!" Edmund shouted. He made a flying leap at Araly, who dodged him elegantly. Edmund crashed to the ground on his back while Araly retreated.

"I need a plan" she said. "This won't work unless it touches his skin." Edmund made a desperate and childishly unskilled somersault away. He tumbled over himself, his legs flailing in the air, until he was able to push himself up and get back into position.

'Are the wells ready yet?' some woman asked. 'Mayhaps the hunting is good' a male noted. 'I feel like baking' a young woman said. All this care-free banter brought about by the total loss of interest to the actual fighting made Edmund start a nervous sweat in an uncomfortable pose. Araly took advantage of the stillness in her enemy's actions and ran forward, ready to plant her new mystery card.

"HAAAAAAAHHH!!!" Araly roared. Edmund unfroze a second too late, and the card was punched, literally punched, into his disfigured nose. The color drained from the ink and went into his skin. The gold and black stirred around all over his scarred face and worked its way down on the rest of his body. While he was stunned in fear Araly took a moment of silence to think of the perfect attack name before the effects of the ink fully culminated.

"What goes on here?" Edmund said fearfully. This new twist brought some interested gazes from the audience once more. They saw the swirling colors even from their distance and became very curious. "What happens? Lord above, what hast thou done to mine form!?"

"One second" Araly said, cocking her hips and cupping her chin thoughtfully. "I'll tell you what that was as soon as I think of it."

"Little wench!" Edmund growled. He took his middle and pointer finger of his right hand and reached then down to his armored wrist. He retrieved a hidden dagger from within his gauntlet and wielded it like a knife. "I'll rend your beautiful face off!" Araly didn't budge at the threat. Edmund started stomping forward and she still refused to move. The more he charged the harder and heavier he found it was to take a step, until he was reduced to a quivering and sweaty pile of ugly man at Araly's feet. Suddenly, out of nowhere, inspiration struck her! It was like lightning! Araly placed a triumphant foot upon her quivering victim's back and forced him down.

"HA-HA!" Araly laughed with a great, bellowing voice. "Fool! Only an unwise man like yourself would think he could beat me with nothing but strength of body! In order to resist such a powerful hex you need immense strength of spirit! Willpower! Confidence! You have fallen prey to my deadliest and most powerful spell, The Buster Pirate Special: Golden War-Paint!"

"Why is it called war-paint?" Edmund asked exhaustedly.

"Yes, why!?" some random man shouted.

"Wait one moment and see" Araly said playfully. She turned Edmund over on his back and let him get up to face the audience. Suddenly he felt a punch at his face, a light and dainty one like what Araly had used to deliver this painful curse. Then he felt another, coupled with a simultaneous punch to the throat. Then another joined them to the chest, two more to the shoulders, five around the gut, four more on his head, eight up and down his legs, two good solid ones right on his eyes: it was a one-sided beatdown delivered by only a single punch! "The paint absorbs damage and then transfers it all over the body. If I had just placed it on you nothing beyond a little post-marathon tiredness would have happened."

Edmund was too busy twitching around and writhing about while the rapid punches started accumulating massive welts and bruises all over his armored body. For a girl Araly could punch rather hard, a practice she had worked up against Bard after so many years of getting him to shut up. The punches did not even start to die down when Edmund fainted. Even unconscious he had to endure the limitless pain until this ultimate eel toxin wore away.

"That settles that" Gretta announced. "The winners of this regal tournament against the best of our kingdom are the Blond Demon Girl and the Witch with Brilliant Fashion!" The audience waited for a few moments to start applauding. Gretta led them in a perfectly patriotic cheer that everyone participated in. Even with the dread of seeing these two young women win, the excitement and spectacle moved the crowd to anxious smiles and roars of encouragement.

"Next" Gretta began "we shall have a royal duel between either the Blond boy...or the Demon King..." The audience stopped applauding out of fearful respect. Ramone's reputation preceded him in awful ways...