Disclaimer-I do not in anyway own any of the characters of Yami no Matseui

Chapter 17: The Journal

It was midnight as I sit at my desk finishing the four-month report I had compiled for Alicia on the pregnancy of my Asato. While my report is for four months, my beloved is now entering his fifth month but from the way he looks, you would swear he was only three months pregnant. It's mine and Watari's opinion that our baby's development is slower than that of a human's. He has a cute pudgy belly but how he hates that. I still find it hard to believe at times that he is pregnant.

As I get up from my desk in my study, I make my way upstairs to my room. Peeking inside, I spy my darling Asato sleeping soundly curled up around my pillow. I smile. He looks so adorable, like a child. Closing the door, I make my way up to the attic. Switching on the light, I walk over to the wall near the window and gently pulled out the third panel revealing a safe behind it. I told Asato about every inch of this house except for this little secret safe. This is where I keep my private journal.

That's right. I, Kazutaka Muraki keeps a journal of my thoughts and feelings. Actually I have had this every since I first found that picture of Asato in my grandfather's papers. I take out the journal and sit down on the chaise lounge beneath the window. Opening the leather book I read the very first thing I had written in it.

January 15

Today I was looking through my grandfather's old records and I came upon a thick vanilla folder with a name on it. Asato Tsuzuki. I wondered if this was one of my grandfathr's last patients before he died. I opened it and a photo fell out. I picked it up and gasped in awe. Lying in one of the hospital beds was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. His right eye was wrapped in a bandage but I could tell from the other that his eye was . . . purple? What an unusual eye color but it suited him. Those eyes made him look like an angel. I slowly let my finger trace the outline of his face. But what struck me was the sadness that I saw in his one eye. It was as though he had suffered a great tragedy. I was entranced and enchanted by his angelic beauty. I don't know why it happened but I found myself wanting to desperately meet him. I could feel my heart thumping loudly aginst my chest as I contemplate on meeting him.

I know love at first sight is rather a romantic notion but I just couldn't stop myself from falling in love with this picture of a man I don't even know. It's foolish I know, but you can't help what the heart wants. And right now, my heart wants this beautiful stranger. I wonder what would be his reaction to me telling him about my feelings. He would probably think I was some crazy kid with a crush on him and send me on my way. But I have to try. I have to tell him how I feel. I began to wonder what hospital he was sent to and if I could go see him. Maybe if I asked my father he would tell me. My grandfather only died three years ago so it shouldn't be too difficult to find this Asato.

As I turned the picture over, I felt my heart sink into the pit of my stomach. I couldn't believe it. It wasn't fair. On the back it read, Asato Tsuzuki, 1920. If what was on the back of the picture true than that meant that . . . Oh God, I could not finish. I looked at my grandfather's records and found that the patient Asato Tsuzuki died May 21, 1926.

I looked out the window at the night sky as the moon glowed overhead. I remembered falling to my knees in despair at the knowledge that my love has long since past on. After that I began to read my grandfather's note and that's when I found out about your blood and how you survived for eight years after being admitted to the hospital not eating food or water. I don't know why but that day, I had a feeling that you and I would meet.

I turned the pages and stopped to read a short passage.

June 5

Today my father came home with a boy with brown hair and the sharpest blue eyes I had ever seen. His name was Saki Shindo and it turns out that he is my half borther. Half brother! The boy was no older than I am. My dear father had an affair. I found out that Saki was only a few months older than I. So that meant that while he was with my mother, he had already impregnated some woman before my mother got pregnant. Saki smiled at me and said he hopes that we could become good friends. I felt a shiver go down my spine. There was something unnatural about that smile. It was like it was devoid of any warmth or emotions.

I didn't like him. I didn't like this Saki Shindo at all. But he is my elder brother and I should at least try to get along with him. It's not his fault he has a bastard for a father. I definitely can't let my father read this. He would skin me alive for calling him a bastard.

As I turned more pages I stopped at another and smiled, I remembered that when I started to write in my journal, I wrote as though you were there with me and I was actually talking to you.

December 31

Today my mther died Asato. I am so lonely. My father acts as though nothing has happened and Saki just plain scares me with that creepy smile of his his. I wish you were here. I love you, Asato.

Sighing I remembered I was crying so hard that my vision blurred. I couldn't bare to write anything more about my mother. As I flip through the pages, I just glance at some of the other things I wrote. Like the day my father died. I flipped another page. It was of Saki and how he showed his true colors. The rape and then the taking of my right eye. I found that rather ironic since in your picture it was also your right eye that you had damaged. I turn more pages. Saki's death. And then the possession. That little bastard, who would have thought Saki was already dabbling in the black arts.

I turn more pages and smile.

February 10

I've been in America for s ix months and I've met the prettiest little girl. She has very badly cut silver hair and silver eyes like mine. But her skin was a soft caramel brown color. i began to wonder if that bastard got an American woman pregnant and she's my what . . . neice?

Anyway, she comes from the local orphanage called the Happy Sunny Dale Orphanage here in Chicago. She was badly bruised up and had a broken arm. One of the staff workers from the orphanage was there. I asked her what happened. The woman said that the girl fell down the stairs. There was something w rong. It just felt too convenient. I'll admit that children do run around like wild horses and she could have fallen but something did not feel r ight about this. So, I asked the worker to leave us alone while I examine the the girl to make sure she didn't have any internal injuries. Once the woman left, I began my examination.

The girl just stared at me with wide eyes. So I asked her for her name. She said, Alicia. I asked, Alicia what? Just Alicia she said still staring at me with those bright, wide silver eyes. Then she asked me something that nearly knocked me for a loop.

"Are you my father?"

I guess she saw the similarities also. I told her no and I saw the defeat in those hopeful silver eyes. So, I asked her what happened. She just sighed and repeated what the worker had said. She was running down the stairs, tripped and fell. I sighed and decided to let it go. Maybe she was telling the truth.

I turned to the next page.

February 27

I was summoned to the emergency room again and what does my eyes beheld. Alicia looked as though she had went ten rounds with a professional boxer. Her eyes had black/purple rings around them and her right eye was swollen shut. Her jaw was swollen. Blood trickled down her nose and there were bruises around her neck. And this time, her leg was broken. After sending out the worker, I examined the bruises around her t hroat and they were in the shape of fingers. I stared at her in shock. Someone tried to strangle this child. I could not believe it. I demanded that she tell me who did this.

Alicia shivered and cringed in fear as the tone of my voice frightened her. I didn't mean to growl at her but I was angry that someone would actually try to kill her. She not only fell down the stairs . . . again. She also ran into the door when she was playing with some of the other children.

It was such a weak excuse that I didn't think even she would believe such a lie. This has gone on long enough. So, I went to the district attorney and gave him a copy of Alicia's files. I had dug deep into her medical history and found out that the child had been to the hospital a total of seventy-five times over the pass three years for broken bones and fractures. He said he would investigate my claims of abuse immediately. I was pleased. Hopefully, Alicia would finally get the help she deserves.

But what I found strange was why the administrator or the doctors that took care of her didn't report this sooner. I decided to do some investigating of my own.

March 14

It was now a little over two weeks after I reported the abuse to the district attorney. I called his office to see what was to be done about what was happening at the orphanage. But the man said after careful investigation, he could find nothing wrong going on inside the orphanage.

I knew something was wrong. There was no way in the world a child could fall and hurt themselves seventy-five times in three years. It's just not possible. I was going to ask him more but he claimed that he had to get to the courthouse. It didn't matter because I decided I would go talk to the man in person tomorrow. I had my patients to take care of.

My first stop was an elderly woman who was admitted for pneumonia. She was doing much better now. As she prattled on about her children, I could not help thinking about that poor chhild. Was she all right today? Has she fallen and broken her other arm or maybe her neck? I couldn't think like that. I had to believe that Alicia would be all right until I was able to get her out of that awful place. I was snapped out of my thoughts by Ms. Davis asking if something was wrong.

I told her it was nothing but she insisted I tell her. So, I told her and the old woman looked grim. then she told me if I wanted help that I would have eto go to the Attorney General because the D.A. was as crooked as the Mississippi River.

I turned another page.

March 15

I decided to take matters into my own hand. So, with my video camera in hand I went to the Happy Sunny Dale Orphanage. I parked my car across from the orphanage and started to record. I didn't have long to wait. That's when I witnessed things that made me want to annihilate e veryone in the building. Alicia was sitting near the fence surrounding the playground watching the other children play when one of the male staff members along with some older girls walked up to her. They said something but Alicia shook her head. The man became angry and kicked the child in the stomach and grabbed her by the collar shaking her like a rag doll. Alicia scratched him across the face. He became enraged and strucked her across the face. Snarling, he threw her to the ground as though she was nothing but trash. Then he turned to the girls. He jerked his head toward the child and they began to punch and kick her.

There was such a bloodlust boiling up inside of me that I thought that I would explode from my rage. The only thing that was going through my mind at the time was that they were hurting my ol little shining star. That was when the bell rung and all the children went inside. None of the other children came to help her. They just stared at her and went inside. God I wanted someone to die at that moment.

Alicia was the only one left out on the playground curled up in a ball. I put my camera away and went to her. She was terrified when she first saw me. Maybe she thought I was one of the adults coming back to beat her again. But she sighed in relief when she saw it was only me. I did a quick examine and found her arm and seveal ribs broken.

Alicia looked up at me with helpless, wet defeated eyes. I brushed a strand of silver hair from her face and then I told her I promise I will never let them hurt you again. Then she buried her face into my chest and began to cry. I gently wiped the tears from her eyes and gently lifted her in my arms. I carried her to my car laying her on the backseat and I quickly drove back to the hospital.

Once there I quickly fixed her up, took her files and went directly to the Attorney General and filed my complaints with him. I also told him that the doctors that had treated Alicia had told the Chief of Staff about the child but the man told them that children like them aren't important and that if they wanted to continue to practice mediicine that they should keep their mouths closed.

I turned away from the journal and stared out the window up at the crescent moon. 'I just realized something. I had called her my little shining star.' I smiled. 'I guess even before I took her in I considered Alicia to be mine.'

Turning back to my journal, I continued to read.

After the Attorney General saw the video I took, the man was sickened by what he saw and immediatedly began to invistigate the orphanage for himself. It took him only a week to gather incriminating evidence on the place but he wanted to get more so that when the judge saw what was going on, he would make sure that none of them never got out of prison. So, it was four weeks later before enough evidence was gathered for them to prosecute the scumbags. Once the investigation was over, every staff member in the orphanage was arrested and the orphanage was closed. The children were sent to different orphanages where they could began a new and better life. The distric attorney and several hospital big wigs were arrested also. Turns out they were all taking bribes from the head of the orphanage. The sick bastards.

Flipping pages until I came to the last entry. It was about the first time my beloved and I made love. I turned to the next page which was blank. I need to put in everything that happened afterwards. I'll do that later but first about my beloved's condition.

November 23

It all started the week of August 15. Asato being the berson that he was refused to take a desk job until he started to show. So, my love and his partner were sent on simple retrieval cases. All they had to do was bring back the souls of the departed that did not want to leave the world of the living. Anything that dealt with demons or something more was given to either Watari and myself, or to some of the other shinigamis.

Up until now the pregnancy was g oing fine but now, my beloved has started with the mood swings. One week he's as happy as a blue b ird. He was smiling and dare I say it, singing. He was even trying to teach the boy how to dance. The entire department was in shock when Asato was even nice to his rival, Terazuma. The expression on the othr shinigami's face was priceless when Asato invited him and his partner over to the house for dinner. Everything was fine. Asato was happy and healthy for two weeks and the building wasn't destroyed once in all that time. Well, it was destroyed but it wasn't because Asato and Terazuma were fighting. It was my partner, Watari, who was to blame for nearly burning down all of Meifu with one of his experiments.

Anyway, Asato's good mood lasted for two weeks but the week after, he could do nothing but cry. Of course he didn't constantly cry twenty four hours a day. He could be sitting down eating lunch and he would burst into tears. He was in a meeting with Chief Konoe and burst into tears. I'm sure everyone knows my Asato so you know his tears weren't little streams t rickling down his cheeks. They were huge rivers raging down his face. He would wake up crying and go to be crying. It was awful waking up to wet sheets when you know it wasn't from having incredible sex.

But the most bizarre mood swing was when he had the giggles. It was especially bad when we had a meeting with Chief Konoe. We were told a young girl was murdered by an amateur sorcerer and that said sorcerer was going to use the girl's soul as a sacrifice to gain power from a demon. Asato burst out laughing. The chief turned red as a tomato and nearly threw something at my beloved for his inappropriate outburst. Watari and I told him that it couldn't be help because it was the pregnancy doing it to him. However, Chief Konoe did not care. he said that my darling should be ashamed and then punished for his uncaring attitude for the plight of that poor girl. It seemed that not even the chief's scolding could cease Asato's incessant giggling. So, I had to drag my giggling husband out of the office before Konoe really did throw something at him.

It seemed that his mood swings were like that of a human felmale except that his was to the extreme. He suffered a different mood every week or two, and it was murder on me. The worst was when Alicia left for China and Asato went through his anger period. Everything I did seem to piss him off. The worst mistake I made was rubbing his stomach and saying how's my little mommy. I had never in my life or afterlife heard Asato use such foul language. The words he used would have made the dirtiest mouth American comedian blush. And it didn't get any better. When we arrived for work, Watari had said good morning. Asato told him to jump off a cliff. My partner flinched and I warned him away quickly. No use in letting him get burned by my violet eye dragon.

Sweet little Miss Wakaba with her c heerful attitude said good morning and asked how he was feeling. That's when hell seemed to come down upon us all. He just ripped into her. And I quote. "What the fuck is so damn good about it. We're all fucking dead! And how the hell do you t hink I feel. I feel l ike a bloated elephant. And aren't you t ired of wearing that stupid school uniform. You look like an idiot. Go somewhere and buy some normal clothes and quite wearing your hair like that. You look like some empty headed high school girl that's trying out to be a cheerleader. You're not a teenager anymore. You died in 1963. So grow up." End quote.

Wakaba burst into tears and ran out of the building. She did not come back into the building until Asato was himself again.

Anyway, you would have thaough I had learned my lesson after the verbal beating I got eariler that morning. But stupid me, said you shouldn't have been so mean to Wakaba and he told me in the most hurtful and vile way, "Why don't I go kill and rape another kid. It seems that's what I like doing." I know it was the pregnancy but it just ripped my heart to shreds that e ven in this s tate he would throw my past in my face. So, I slowly slunk away to hide. I mean it. I actually hid from him and I did not go home for a week. but unfortunately, his anger mood was s till in play the next week. He just r ipped into everyone. Terazuma had tried to go against him but it was a mistake the other shinigami will remember for the rest of his afterlife.

With great relief his anger mood was over and he went back to crying. He went to everyone and apologized to them. Except for Terazuma, he admitted that he meant everything he said to the man. Ouch! But with Wakaba, he fell to his knees crying a flood of tears hugging her around the waist begging her to forgive him. Of course Wakaba being the gentle soul that she is forgave him. I hope we never have to experience another of his anger moods again. And I'm sure all of Meifu would agree.

I think, no, i know that the best mood swing he had was his overactive libido. That was one week when the sex was mind blowing. We did it everywhere, in the kitchen, in the shower, in the sauna, on the desk at work, in the garden. One day when Watari and I were walking down the hallway to our office, I was suddenly yanked into a hall closet by my violet eye angel. The next thing I knew my shirt was bing ri pped opened. I gasped asnd moaned as his lips latched onto one of my nipples. And talk about strong. He already had his tie off and had tied up my hands above my head. I tried to move but it was like my hands were being held by steel. I hissed in pain as his teeth nipped and tugged painfully at the hardened nub. I tr ied to get him to calm down but his hands roughly caressed, stroked and inflamed my body with wanton lust. He used his free hand to yank my pants down to my knees revealing my very hard erection. Asato quickly mounted me. I have to admit that I thought I would melt away from the heat htat engulfed my length. And when he moved, I thought for sure that I would die again. he rode me hard and fast. Dammit, he would not release my hands. Asato was like some feral animal that was in heat as his nails dug into the flesh of my chest. The kisses he gave me were desperate, violent, wild, and filled with a lustful passion as his teeth bit into the flesh of my lips drawing blood.

"Mine!" Was what he g rowled as he sucked on a throbbing pulse in my neck causing me to scream in ecstasy as Ierupted into him. And with one finally thrust into him, Asato came shortly afterwards streaking my chest with his essence. He slumped on top of me and untied my hands. It was a while before we both came out of the closet wearing rumpled or torn clothing. Imagine our humiliation when we came out to have an audience hear us in the closet acting like wild beasts in the forest. My poor partner had turned three shades of red from hearing us in the closet. Well, with the last bit of dignity I had, I held my torn shirt together, wrapped my arm around Asato and walked away with my head held high. And I thanked God that Alicia wan't there to witness that. I know what her reaction would have been. I could just hear the whistles and cat calls.

Dammit, his sexual overdrive would have to last only a week. Next came his possessiveness. He did not want me near another man or woman. Whenever I was with Watari he would snarl and his at his friend while clinging to m arm. A man or woman would just be walking down the hall and Asato would snarl threateningly at them like a wild animal. His possessiveness became so bad until Chief Konoe ordered me to stay home until Asato was back to himself. It only lasted a week. Thank Goodness.

Well, all that was three weeks ago and he has returned to his normal self. He still has the mood swings but they are not to the extreme like before. Again, than God! Right now he is in the mist of eating strange, stomach churning foods.

As I look out the window, I can see the moon slowly beginning its descent and I close my journal. I should get some sleep. Alicia said she had a surprise for us at lunch tomorrow. Putting my journal back in the safe, I lock it and cover it with the panel and go back to bed. Asato was still curled around my pillow but now he was sucking his thumb. Picking up my cell phone, I turned on the lights and quickly took a picture of my sleeping love. I would keep that picture for all time. Kissing my beloved on the cheek, I removed my robe and slipped into bed pulling the covers over us both.

xxxxx

The next morning during lunch time all the workers there in Meifu stood before the double doors leading to the cafeteria. Everyone stood in the hall wondering why they were asked to show up at the cafeteria. Both Tsuzuki and I noticed the paper spell attached to the doors.

"Did Alicia tell you why she wanted all of us here?" asked Tsuzuki.

"No. I just received an invitation like the rest of you asking me to come here at lunchtime today," I said shrugging my shoulders. Then we turned to face Tatsumi. "Do you know why we are here?"

"Yes, I do. She told me before she left this morning," said the older shinigami. "Now, can I have everyone's attention." He stood before the crowd in front of the doors.

Everyone fell silent as they waited for Mr. Tatsumi to speak. Then he turned to the door and activated the spell. Suddenly a ghostly image of Alicia appeared before them.

"Greetings one and all, I thank you for coming. The reason why I invited you all here today is because its November 24. I know you have no idea what is so special about today but in America they celebrate their national holiday called Thanksgiving. It is a day where family and friends gather to give thanks. Although I am not there, I am most thankful for Asato giving my brother this chance to be happy and for the new niece or nephew that is on the way. And I am thankful for my new friends in the Summons department. Anyway, that is why this year I decided that all of Meifu should join in this wonderful celebration.

So, with the help of the American Grim Reapers, we prepared a special gift for you. The Americans said that it is to thank my brother and Asato for helping them to deal with that serpent the devil Raylene had set loose.

Well, I'm sure you all are hungry and I hope that you all enjoy this gift from America. Ladies and gentlemen I present to you Thanksgiving."

As the imagine of my sister faded, the doors slowly opened to reveal the cafeteria decorated in the traditional fashion of the holiday with pumpkins, haystacks and scarecrows nestled in the corners. Sitting on each table was a paper turkey. Hanging from the ceiling was more paper turkeys and paper leaves and the staff were dressed as pilgrims. There were tables lined alongside each other filled with turkeys, hams, stuffing, a variety of pies, and cakes, fresh fruits, macaroni and cheese, sweet peas, baked beans, string beans, cranberry sauce, potato salad, green salads and non alcoholic apple cider. After all we were still at work.

Tsuzuki's mouth watered as the delicious aroma of the food assaulted his nose. His nostrils flared as they immediately caught the scent of freshly baked apple pies. He ran to the dessert table and inhaled the delicious aroma.

I laughed as I saw the look of euphoria on my beloved's face as he perched himself at the dessert table. Grabbing a fork, Asato picked up one of the apple pies and was about to dig into it when I grabbed his hand. Taking the fork from him, I began to lead him away from the table. I knew that if I didn't drag him away, my lavender-eyed angel would remain at the dessert table and eat everything on it.

"Come beloved," I said wrapping an arm around Asato's waist and forcibly dragging the man away from the table.

"But I want one of those delicious apple pies." He tried to turn around and go back to get one.

"Don't worry. I will bring your food." I seated my husband at the table and went back to get our food.

xxxxx

After eating four plates of food, and three apple pies for dessert, I was finally able to drag my beloved away for his monthly check up. Today, Watari was going to do an ultrasound on Asato to see if the baby was developing properly.

Asato removed his shirt and laid on the examining table as Watari rubbed the cold gel on his stomach. "Are you ready to see your baby?"

"Yes," said my love excited.

I watched as Watari moved the device over my beloved's stomach. We were silent as we waited for my partner to let us see the baby but he kept moving the device over his stomach as though he was trying to locate the child.

"Well?" Asato finally asked impatiently. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

Watari said nothing. I turned to see a scowl marring his forehead. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Is something wrong with the baby?" Asato asked setting up. I could hear the worry in his voice. And I have to admit that I was getting worried as well.

"Well, the truth is, I can't find anything," said Watari.

"What!" Both Asato and I exclaimed. I stared at the monitor and it was true. There was nothing but darkness on the screen.

"Does this mean that your tests were wrong?" I could hear the sadness and disappointment in his voice as he looked down at his pudgy stomach. "Am I just getting fat?"

"No, I told you. I did those test three times and they came out the same," said Watari. "You are pregnant. Damn, I wish Alicia was here. Maybe she would know."

"If your tests were accurate, than why can't we see the baby?"

"I intend to find out." Watari reached my husband a towel to clean the gel off his stomach. Then he went into the other room and came back a while later with a microscopic camera. Then he walked back to the other table and picked up a needle.

Asato flinched when he saw his friend pick up the needle. "Now Tsuzuki this is just something to help you sleep."

"Why?" Asato cringed and clutched onto my arm.

"I think I know what he is doing beloved. He is going to send that camera down your throat to see why we cannot see the baby," I told him. "It would be an unpleasant feeling no matter how thin it may look. But it is better than the other option of cutting you open."

"He's right," said Watari walking over to us. "Are you ready?"

Asato took a deep breath and repeated aloud. "I'm doing this for the baby." Once he calm, he looked up to his friend and nodded his head that he was ready to proceed.

As Watari rolled up Asato's sleeve, my adorable husband clung to me and buried his face against my arm closing his eyes tight. Once the sedative was injected into him, he began to loosen his death grip on my arm. He was already sound asleep. And I laid him down on the table.

I helped Watari to set up the equipment and a few minutes later he was ready to begin. I held open Asato's mouth and watched as Watari gently slid the thin camera down my husband's throat. Then we turned our attention to the screen. We watched as nothing unusual appeared on the monitor.

Soon the camera came upon something that made us both gasp in shock. "What the hell is that?"

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A/N-I'm sure by now you've all guessed that this was in Muraki's pov.