"Hey, are you alright?"

Garrus didn't answer her. Instead, he pushed into the room, pressing her back against the smooth surface of the plate-glass window where she kept her collection of model ships. Leaning down, he nuzzled his face against her neck, his hands groping her breasts, then trailing down her waist and caressing her hips.

She smiled. "That's a hell of a greeting. Did you –"

"Don't talk."

Under normal circumstances, the aggression wouldn't have worried her – actually, it was pretty hot - but in the context of the last few days, it didn't feel right. Whoever this person was, this pushy stranger who came barging into her room in the middle of the night without a word of explanation, he wasn't the Garrus Vakarian she knew. And truthfully, she wasn't sure she enjoyed being a prop, a body that he could vent his frustrations on, no matter how good it felt.

Shepard kissed the side of his face, one, twice, careful not to disturb the metal pins that attached the grafted skin to the scarred flesh of his cheek. When he didn't take the hint to slow down, she caught at his shoulders, trying to get him to ease back, but hand-to-hand combat specialist that he was, he manage to pin her arms up over her head. The guy definitely had reach. No false advertising there.

"Whoa, hold up," she said, struggling out of his embrace. "I like the enthusiasm, but there's no need to pop the heat sink, buddy."

"I just want -"

As he drew back, one of his talons got caught in the satin sleeve of her robe. Still drowsy, Shepard moved her arm to untangle it and felt a sharp claw slice into the inside of her wrist and rip itself out. She flinched, blood trickling down on her arm and spotting the floor tiles.

Garrus managed to disentangle himself and stood there staring at the gash in her arm. "Damn. Shepard, I didn't mean to – I'm sorry. It was an accident."

Shepard crouched down to the floor, clutching her wrist and putting pressure on the wound to stem the bleeding. "There're bandages in the bathroom cabinet. Behind the mirror."

"Right. Of course."

He rushed into the bathroom and came out with enough bandage fabric to mummify her. He did a good job of dressing the wound though, especially considering how badly his hands were shaking.

She looked down at the blood clouding the bandages. "Not bad, Vakarian. You're better at first aid than I figured."

"Yeah, well, I guess that's what happens when you get cut up by mercs and have to put in your own stitches," he said. "That wasn't a good day."

She regarded his face, noting the shell-shocked look in his eyes. His jaw was clenched, his fierce-looking teeth clamped together – it reminded her of the old cliché, 'shut like a steel trap'.

"Did you work stuff out with your father?"

Garrus hesitated before he answered. "That's – a subject I'd prefer not to talk about."

"So the answer is no." And from what she could tell, it was chewing him up inside.

"He thinks he knows what I need. Hell, he thinks he knows what everyone needs. I'm starting to understand why my mother up and left."

"She – what?" Shepard stared at him, hurt and uncomprehending. "I thought she passed away."

"Oh. Yeah. Guess I wasn't very clear about that. The vagueness, well, sometimes it's intentional. Another thing to apologize for. I really am just racking up the points today, aren't I?"

She sighed, fidgeting with the metal clasp on her bandage. "You can keep secrets. It's just a surprise. Your dad kept going on about how turians are so traditional and always do their duty. All that stuff about honour..."

"Is a load of garbage," he said, finishing her sentence. "He wishes it were like that. But in case you didn't notice, he has some unusual ideas. Even among turians. Being a kid in that house was...not easy."

"I'm not saying he isn't hard to deal with. But your family are supposed to drive you crazy. He obviously cares about you. You don't think that's worth saving?"

Garrus took a deep breath. "I tried, Shepard. But what he's doing now - I'm not sure I can forgive him for that."

"Okay, I'm not following."

"He told me that if I don't stay on Palaven, he's going to hold an intervention. You know what that means?"

She raised an eyebrow inquiringly, picturing Garrus' dad trying to haul him into rehab. "Isn't that what people do for drug addicts? He doesn't think you're an alcoholic, does he? The wine – it was just a present!"

Garrus gave a dry chuckle, one that had a touch of the old Omega bitterness. "No. Maybe that's what an intervention means for humans, but not for turians. It's a criminal proceeding. Against me. He can charge that I'm not doing my duties as a citizen of Palaven and the Hierarchy."

"And?"

"If the magistrate finds me guilty and I don't comply with the court's recommendations, they can take away my citizenship. Some people have even been sentenced to hard labour."

"That's insane. There's no way he can do that."

"Unfortunately, there is. I've been careless. I shouldn't have told him anything. Better to just keep quiet. As it stands, he has a pretty convincing case."

She gave a disdainful sniff at the Hierarchy's legal system. "Okay, so you quit C-Sec. Big deal."

"I've been working around the law, Shepard. Disobeying orders. Stupid orders, but a turian court isn't going to make that distinction. They don't like vigilantes. It doesn't help that I'm working on a ship that's still registered to Cerberus."

"We can change the Normandy's registry data. Tali and EDI can manage that in no time at all."

"That's not the point."

"Okay, well, explain it to me. I'm human. I don't get it."

"It's hard to explain," he protested.

She waited in silence, watching him grind his teeth together in frustration.

"Okay," he said. "In the Hierarchy, you can do anything you want as long as it doesn't hurt other people or interfere with you being good at your job."

"Anything?"

"Pretty much. Do drugs, join a cult, dye your fringe green – doesn't matter. But if any of that gets in the way of your work or the functioning of the Hierarchy, you're supposed to shape up and cut it out of your life, for good, or there'll be consequences. Understand?"

"I think so."

"Look, Shepard, I don't know how to say this, but -" he stopped himself in mid-sentence, shaking his head . "Look, it doesn't matter, alright? Let's forget about it."

"No. I want to hear it."

"My father wants me to stop seeing you."

"Romantically?"

"No," he said. "'Seeing you'. As in standing within a 500-metre radius."

"That's harsh. I didn't realize I was a stalker."

He cracked a smile, which reassured her a little. "Damn, Shepard, that's not funny. My father's serious. He thinks that being on the Normandy, being around you, has changed me. I told him it wasn't true, but he thinks that you talked me into quitting C-Sec to go chase Saren."

Now that irritated her. Such a shining example of parental logic. Garrus had suggested they should shoot Saren in the head rather than risk taking him to trial and yet she was supposed to be the 'bad influence'.

"You know, as I remember it, you were the one twisting my arm," she said.

"I told him that. Either he doesn't believe me or he doesn't want to admit that I'm not the person he thought I was."

"Do you want to stay here on Palaven? Do you want to end this? Leave the ship?"

"Hell, no," he replied. "That's why I'm sorry I even brought it up. He can hold his intervention if he wants to, but I won't be hanging around for it."

"Garrus, it sounds important. You should at least show up. Even if you don't want a relationship with your dad, you need to keep your citizenship."

He shrugged. "I can go without it. Playing by the Hierarchy's rules is a pain in the ass, anyway."

"If you lose your citizenship, it's going to be a lot harder to clear port security. The Hierarchy may not be fun to deal with, but you've seen all the red tape at C-Sec these days. Do you really want to deal with that everywhere we go?"

"Tali or Kasumi can forge some data for me. Besides, it's not going to be a fair trial. There's no reason to bother."

She reached out, giving his shoulder a friendly nudge. "C'mon. I'm not saying you have to go along with what your dad wants. Just put in an appearance. State your case. If it doesn't work out, then you can say to hell with them. But you might as well go down fighting."

Garrus contemplated this. "Hmm. Yeah, I guess you're right. Doesn't mean I'm going to like it."

"We'll get through it, okay?" she said. "Now, please, either come to bed or go calibrate something. I need to get some rest."

To make her point, Shepard crept back into bed, closing her eyes and pulling the blanket up around her head. A minute later, she felt the bedsprings sag under his weight as he eased himself down on the mattress and got under the blanket. Garrus wrapped an arm around her, but he did it very gently, trying not to brush too much of his plate against her skin in the process.

"Shepard, am I hurting you?"

"No, not at all," she murmured.

"Good."

Her back was turned to him, but somehow she was certain that he hadn't closed his eyes yet, that he was determined to lie there and brood on his embattled relationship with the Hierarchy all night. It occurred to her that it might actually be merciful to get him fall-down drunk or failing that, to pick up a blunt object and knock him unconscious for a couple hours, just to get him to relax, to stop concentrating so damn hard. Of course, he wouldn't be pleased about the headache in the morning and he was likely to be twice as grumpy and morose. She smothered a weary giggle in her pillow and drifted off to a lovely, dreamless sleep, a blissful void where there were no Reapers lurking in the dark.


The next morning, Shepard assembled the team in the briefing room for a staff meeting. Most of the crew members had already been introduced to Kaidan, but the presence of someone who most of them perceived as a newcomer and outsider still unsettled the usual routines. Even Shepard found it strange to have him back in the room again; in part, for personal reasons, but mostly because he'd probably be reporting every decision she made back to the Alliance. She wondered if he was Anderson's mole or Udina's – or maybe just a snitch for Hackett and the admiralty board.

Having an old flame and a new rep for the Alliance brass in the briefing room wasn't the only source of discomfort. Shepard had made a point of putting on a long-sleeved shirt to cover the wound on her wrist, but the bandage kept making the cloth ride up on her arm. She'd caught a few of her team members staring at it, but especially Kaidan, who was probably wondering how she'd managed to injure herself when they weren't even getting shot at. If he thought she was about to offer an explanation about it, he was wrong. After he walked out on her on Horizon, her sense of obligation to him had melted away.

"I received a tip that Saren owned property on the moon, Auctoritas. That might be a good place to go hunting for evidence," she said.

Miranda folded her arms across her chest, as if to make it clear that she was opposed to the idea from the outset. "Where did you get this information?"

"A source on the Primacy Council."

"A completely disinterested source, I'm sure," Miranda replied.

Kaidan took a cautious scan of the room before he worked up the nerve to address her. "It does seem a bit suspect, Commander. Who's to say that this source isn't purposely trying to steer you in the wrong direction?"

"This person made a point of getting me the extension in the first place. If I'm getting played for a fool, I don't think wasting that extra time is going to be the motivation."

"The Primarchs are respected people," Garrus said. "Definitely ambitious, but for dirty politicians, they're pretty trustworthy."

"That isn't giving me a whole lot of confidence," Jacob muttered.

"It's looking like the best lead we have right now," Shepard said. "But, hey, if somebody wants to toss out a better plan, I'm listening."

At this, Mordin immediately started rattling off ideas. "Could re-assess study of Collector technology. Synthesize data. Compare with information provided by Legion. Possible to prove that geth insufficiently advanced to create Sovereign. Also track galactic economy. Demonstrate inadequate supply of eezo to operate a ship of that size. Perhaps we -"

She cut him off before he could go off on another tangent. "Alright, Mordin. That sounds great. But will they need PhDs to understand the research?"

"Doctorates would be helpful. Failing that, use colourful graphics to simplify complex ideas. Turian psychology hardwired to favour certain colours and patterns. Could create slideshow with mesmerizing effect."

"Um, okay, you go ahead on that. We'll call it Plan B. Any other suggestions?"

"Why are we doing this again?" Jack complained, propping up her dirty boots on top of the table. "Since when do we kiss Alliance ass and pal around with a bunch of scum-sucking politicians? You know they're all just going to knife us in the back."

Grunt gave an appreciative snort. "Yeah, Shepard. What Baldy said."

Baldy was Grunt's nickname for Jack. Shepard was surprised she'd tolerate it, but coming from the krogan, she seemed to take it as a term of endearment. Of course, anybody else who tried repeating it had better watch out.

"I'm not saying we have to trust them. But if we want to give the Reapers what-for, then we're going to need all the help we can get," Shepard answered. "If that means puckering up and kissing a few asses, I'm prepared to do that."

Joker smirked. "Thanks, Commander. Great mental image there."

"So does anyone have anything helpful to say or are we sticking with Auctoritas? Speak now, everybody, or forever hold your peace."

Shepard paused, eyeing the allies assembled around her. It was funny to watch how her teammates dealt with silence. Jack fidgeted with her bootlaces, picking dried mud off the strings. Legion's mechanical body hummed with activity, searching for system updates. Kasumi was huddled down in the back corner and appeared to be painting her nails an electric shade of blue. Kaidan was observing everything, in his usual quiet way, probably planning out his first report to his superiors. His paperwork had always been very...thorough. For a minute, Shepard had expected that Miranda would protest again, but the tactic of asking for viable alternatives seemed to have quieted her down, at least for the time being. Nobody raised any more objections to the original plan.

"Okay, Auctoritas, it is then. EDI, can you provide any information?"

EDI pulled up a map of Auctoritas. "Naturally, Shepard. The moon has been terra-formed to accommodate a number of parks and large dwellings, centered upon the famous Mount Bellona. The property of Saren Arterius is in the area I've highlighted in yellow. You will note the presence of several turian signatures on the scans, as well as a few unknown readings that may reflect non-sentient life forms. This is not entirely inconsistent with known data. Apparently Arterius had quite a collection of pets."

"Never figured Saren for a dog person," Shepard deadpanned.

"He fought varren, actually," Garrus explained. "During my initial investigation on him, I looked into it. Wanted to see if I could prove corruption or at the very least, get him fined for animal cruelty. Didn't really play on the Citadel. People thought his varren were entertaining."

She nodded. "Now that sounds more like the sadistic bastard we all knew and loved. Do you have anything else, EDI?"

"Not at the moment, when we get closer to the planet, I'll hack into local networks and find out more about the Hierarchy's Internal Affairs Bureau."

"What about the agency's extra-net site?" Tali asked. "That shouldn't give us any trouble."

"I can grant you access to some of their less sensitive extra-net files, but their high-priority systems have stronger encryption than I anticipated and it will take some time to bypass their firewalls," EDI replied. "I am surprised by the strength of some of the Bureau's security protocols, Shepard. I was expecting this to be a tedious task, but it seems that I will have some measure of challenge. That is pleasant."

"Hacking gov sites is a cakewalk," Kasumi said. "If I can't burn through their system in five minutes flat, then something's up with these guys."

Garrus shook his head. "The I.A.B. is a high-level Hierarchy intelligence unit. They may be civil servants, but they're civil servants with high-calibre guns, top security clearance and all the best toys. Everything they have is going to be top-of-the-line. But that doesn't mean they're not on the up-and-up."

"Either way, I'm sick of all this chit-chat," Jack said. "Let's get a bloody move-on, boss lady."

"I'm game for that," Shepard said. "Joker, set a course for Auctoritas. EDI, Kasumi, Legion, get going on the extranet sites until we close in on local networks. Crew dismissed."

As the team dispersed from the briefing room, she loaded the map of Auctoritas onto her omni-tool and started examining the locations that EDI had highlighted in yellow. It'd be less than an hour until they'd reach the moon and she wanted to be prepared to move.

She was zooming in on the easternmost section of the estate when she noticed Kaidan hovering around the edge of the table, waiting to address her.

She looked up, raising her eyebrows impatiently. If he was planning to rain on her parade, he might as well get on with it. When they'd been together, all this tentativeness had been cute, kind of bashful and gentlemanly, but now it was just agony.

"Commander, I was wondering if you had a minute."

"I always have time for my crew," she said, not without a touch of sarcasm. "What is it, Alenko?"

Kaidan folded his hands behind his back, very formal, as if he were about to perform in a school recital. "In my role as Alliance adjunct staff, I wanted to advise you that certain members of your team may not be appropriate for this assignment. For diplomatic reasons, if nothing else. I'm sure that's already occurred to you, but I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't state it again."

"I can choose my own team, thank you. I don't need the Alliance meddling in that."

"You'll have to excuse me, Commander, but the Alliance brass wanted me to make it clear to you that, in light of recent...issues, they feel it would wise to deploy your staff in a manner that aligns with your public relations strategy."

She gave a derisive snort. "What? Can you say that again in English this time?"

"Okay, I'll rephrase that: don't bring people who are going to get the turians mad. I mean, I've seen your staff, Shepard. You've got a lot of loose cannons."

"I like people who aren't too squeamish to get the job done."

"Ouch. I thought we weren't going to get personal here."

He bit his lip, but he didn't allow himself anger. His unflappable demeanour used to bother her, even when they were dating and it should have been a plus. Back then, sometimes she'd play a game of saying impulsive things just to see if he'd react.

"Just my professional assessment, Staff-Commander."

"Alright, well, listen to my professional assessment then," he said. "If you take some of those people out to Auctoritas, you're going to cause yourself a lot of grief."

"I'm not planning to take Legion or Grunt, if that's what you mean. I'm not that stupid. I understand that there are certain aspects of turian culture that need to be respected."

"I'll bet you do." There wasn't any malice in his voice, but that just made the riposte all the more effective. It rankled with her that he could get her flustered, but she'd never really been able to get past that detached, rational veneer he'd perfected after Brain Camp.

She cupped a hand around her ear, squinting slightly as if she were struggling to hear him. "Excuse me? What was that comment you made before about not getting personal?"

Kaiden just switched the subject again. "Listen, Commander, the issue is a lot bigger than just Grunt or Legion, although I have to admit that it's pretty disturbing that you have a functional geth on this ship. I mean, you have an escaped convict on-board, one who is, well, mentally unstable. You have crew members who work for Cerberus."

"Used to work for Cerberus," she corrected. "We all gave our two weeks' notice."

"Are you sure about that?"

"They've risked a lot for this mission. Lawson and I don't always see eye-to-eye, but when it comes down to it, I trust them. They're loyal and that's a lot more than I can say for some people."

"That's fine. But you should know that if you bring them out on this mission, I will have to include it in my report. I'm not lying for you."

She replied in a tone of glacial hauteur, one that sounded false even to her ears. "I wouldn't expect you to. Will that be all, Kai – Staff Commander Alenko?"

Kaidan squinted at her, as if he was trying to bring her back into focus. "No. That isn't all. What's the problem with your arm?"

"I had an accident."

"When you came back to the ship yesterday, your arm was fine."

"Look, I know you're here as an observer, but I think the Alliance is only interested in the mission," she said. "You don't have to go tattling to them every time I get a paper-cut."

"I'm just commenting on what I see, Jill. And from where I stand, it doesn't look good."

With the notable exception of her parents, he was the first one to call her Jill in a long while. It was odd, how she'd stopped liking the sound of her given name. 'Shepard' was a better fit, more solid. It didn't single her out as a man or a woman. It just let her get on with business. Besides, when the right person said it, there was a nice jokey ring to it that made her feel as if she was among friends. 'Jill' - now that was serious and much too intimate, that was her mom telling her to call more often or Kaidan Alenko frowning at her, staring her down as if he wanted her to make a confession.

"What are you implying?"

"Are you sure you did that all on your own?" he asked. "I'm no doctor, but that doesn't seem right to me..."

"It was an accident. If I wanted a medical opinion, I'd go to Mordin or Chakwas. It's not your business."

She stood up, her omni-tool still displaying the holo-map of Auctoritas. As she brushed past him, her arm jostled slightly and the blue lines of the lunar topography intersected with the pale canvas of her face. Striding onto the command deck, she checked in with Kelly and then went up to the cockpit to see how Joker was getting along and watch the approach to the moon. Sitting shotgun beside Joker had the added bonus of keeping Kaidan at bay. Alenko was a sensitive guy, especially for military, and he didn't enjoy the pilot's ribbing, even on the best of the days. He wouldn't dare to lay some earnest speech on her, not when Jeff was around, thinking up ways to turn them into comedic cannon fodder while he stroked a hand over his seven days' growth of beard.

Shepard could discern the craters and trenches of Auctoritas when EDI popped up on the console beside Joker. "Commander, there appears to be a problem on the crew deck."

Joker rubbed his hands together. "Jack and Miranda, the re-match?"

"No, Jeff. Sorry to disappoint you."

He pouted for about half a second and then shrugged it off. "I'll settle for Tali and Legion then. That's entertaining too. Just a lot less potential for bitch-slaps and wardrobe malfunctions."

"You may wish to go down to the gunnery, Shepard," EDI suggested.

Shepard shook her head, well aware of which team members she'd be likely to find down there. "That doesn't sound promising."

She was often tempted to let the crew work personal issues out for themselves, but now that the ship ran without the usual military protocols and restrictions, arguments had a way of getting out-of-line. Besides, she probably should have seen this one coming a few light-years away. It was reckless of her to count on Kaidan's reticence and Garrus' nostalgic idea of 'just like old times' to keep the peace, especially since they were all under a lot of stress. She hurried towards the elevator.

EDI's attempt at subtlety didn't slip by Joker. "Can you hook me up with a live feed? I've got bets riding on this one."

"That would be highly unorthodox, Jeff. You're piloting the ship."

"Never stopped me before. Multi-tasking, EDI. It's all about multi-tasking."