Chapter 13: Weight of the World

A/N: Whoo! I'm on a roll now! Got my muse going strong, and we're gonna see those updates come pretty fast! Thanks SO much to all who reviewed, you guys make my day, and honestly, I probably wouldn't have picked up a pencil and wrote this story ever again if I didn't sit down and read them all today, so…thank you. Enjoy.

Reviews:

Bee4ever: I will! That's good, sticking to a storyline is boring so I like to change things up. Thank you!

SJSGirl: Well that's great! He's going to be a lot of fun to write so I'm pretty excited! Nope, but hey, with men we almost NEVER know what to think. :p Yes it is, hopefully it won't last! Thanks for commenting!

Anonomon: Thank you! Hmm, don't know. I really can't say… ;) I'm glad you like it. It wasn't soon, but I'm getting back into the groove!

Kimmie98: Ha! I know! No, he's actually pretty innocent, or maybe just really oblivious! LOL. Thanks for reviewing!

Mrs. KnockoutL Amen! You said it! Awesome, glad you find him interesting! I know, it's so funny. Hide is what? BILLIONS of years older than the kid? I thought he was supposed to be a bit more grown up than that… Oh well! That's why we love him! Thanks for your support, it really means a lot!

CalicoKat35: I don't think jealousy is anyone's friend, but it is pretty fun to write… ;) Lol.

Patchwork Knightness: Thank you! I'm glad so many people are with me in this. :)

Tuxedo-chan: I'm glad! I mean to please. :) Well…not soon… But um, it's here! :D Thanks for reviewing.

Kalypso The Great: Awe… I'm sorry about your attack! That's horrible! I was SO happy when I read that you got over your fear and began to wear shorts! You go girl! Don't let anyone tell you your ugly, and shucks! Wear those damn shorts with pride. :) I'm ecstatic that you enjoy this story! I hope it lives up to your expectations! :) (Oh and yes, we'll get into DOTM later in the story.) :)

Autobot-Bre: Thanks! More is on the way!

CatGirlFireFlare: Right? I thought so too. :) I just love Hide. :)

VioletDawn00: Great! Well here it is! I hope you enjoy it!

CrAsHqUeEn18: Really? She is? Awesome! Yes, I will be sure to tell you guys what's going on, and I'm not afraid to do it either! Thank you! Your update is here my dear. :)

Rose of Dusk: Thanks! Update's here!

Transformers nummber 1 fan: That's great! I think she will meet them later. :) Thanks for commenting.

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"Hide's gone."

A voice from her doorway made Lissa drop her controller and spin around. She looked at Sam with disbelief, "What? Already?"

Sam shared a glance with Metalreaper before shrugging, "Guess so, he just kinda took off a few minutes ago."

Metalreaper spoke up, "He didn't say why?"

Sam shook his head, "Nope, but he seemed to be in a pretty big hurry to get out of here. Maybe something came up."

Fear welled up in Lissa's heart, "Do you think he's going to be okay?"

Metalreaper sensed her distress and put a hand on her shoulder, "He'll be fine, he's tough. I can't see a Decepticon messing him up too bad."

At his words she relaxed, but Sam grew tense. "Take your hand off my cousin." He blurted out.

Lissa and Metalreaper looked at Sam in shock, but seeing his glare the Autobot slowly withdrew his hand. They started at each other for a few minutes before Lissa broke the silence, "Sam. Meet me outside. Now." She growled angrily. Getting to her feet she slipped out of the room without another word.

Sam broke eye contact with the mech and quietly followed her.

"What the hell is your problem!?" Lissa barked angrily once Sam came into the yard.

Sam didn't say anything, made no notion that he even heard her. He stuck his hands in his pockets and scuffed his shoe in the dirt. He seemed pretty occupied with whatever he was staring at on the ground.

Lissa waited for an answer, and as the minutes passed her temper flared hotter and hotter. Finally she strode right up to him and made him look her in the eyes. When she did so she stopped, her anger dissipating as quickly as it came. What she saw there was confusing, and nothing that she expected. Sam looked…scared almost.

She searched his eyes for the reason, but didn't find one. "What's wrong Sam?" She asked quietly.

Her cousin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. She almost thought he wasn't going to answer her, but then he did. "I don't like him." He murmured finally.

Lissa stared at him confusedly, what did Metalreaper do? Not much made Sam act this way, so whatever it was it had to be serious. "Why?"

Sam shrugged and went to sit on the bench. He knew he had to choose his words carefully with this one, and Liss wasn't going to leave without an answer.

"Come sit by me." He said, and patted the spot next to him.

Now this worried her, Sam never acted like this. Something was wrong, very wrong. She slowly sat down and turned to look at him, waiting for him to tell her what was going on.

Sam kept his head down, a sad look passing across his face. "Sam…" Lissa whispered, worry laced deeply in her voice.

Sam opened his eyes, and all of his sadness could be seen. It was so potent that it rolled off of him in waves. There was pain, an indescribable pain deep in his eyes. When she saw it, she took a shaky breath. Only one question ran through her mind as they looked at each other, What did this to her cousin?

It was a long time before Sam broke eye contact and spoke, "It was my fault." He whispered brokenly.

Lissa wanted to take away this pain, this horrible guilt that he was feeling. "What was? Sam please tell me what's wrong."

Sam closed his eyes to hide the tears collecting there, it was almost too hard to say the words, "Your scar."

Lissa reeled back at his response, shock flowed through her and her whole body went numb. The realization his her like a wave, all these years, he thought it was his fault.

Her own tears spilled down her face, "That wasn't your fault Sam, it never was."

Sam shook his head in agony and squeezed his eyes shut even tighter, "Yes it was!" He choked out in desperation, "I never should have left you alone that day, I-I should've looked harder!"

"No Sam, there was nothing you could've done to prevent it, nothing. Even if you were with me that day, you would've gotten hurt too. I would never have been able to live with myself if that happened!"

"But I can't live with seeing you now!" He cried, all of his pent up fear, sadness, and guilt poured out with his words. "If I was there, maybe I could've saved you! Maybe your dad wouldn't have died! It's all my fault!"

Lissa just stared at him, tears never ceasing, and watched as his own tears spilled over and he began to sob. Loud choking breaths came from his lungs, and his whole frame shook with his despair.

"Sam, Sam look at me. Look at me." She put her arms around him and hugged him fiercely. "You can't hold on to this guilt! My scars, my pain, I would never ever want you to share in them. You were eleven Sam, there was nothing you could've done. He would've killed you too, and I can't live without you and dad."

At her words Sam lifted his tear stained face, and she went on, "You are my best friend, you need to understand, I can live with these scars. What he could've done would've been much worse, and even then I would rather it be me than you!"

"But…you're dad…and that man in the alley…"

Lissa's eyes softened, "My dad died protected me Sam, he would've done the same thing if it were you. That man, well, Ironhide saved me. You've been carrying this around for seven years Sam, please, I can't walk away knowing that you still are. Let it go, for me."

Sam's sobs ceased, and he searched her glistening eyes, what he was searching for, she will never know. Finally, he closed his eyes and nodded slowly. "Okay Liss, I-I will. But…I wish I could've done something so that you wouldn't have to live with this." He was talking about her scar.

Lissa got up and smiled down at him wistfully, "You know as well as I do that nothing in life works that way."

He stood beside her and smiled back. "You're right, but now I can do something, and I will do everything I can to make sure nothing like that happens to you again."

She blinked, and he could see the connection she was making in her head. "You mean Metalreaper."

He nodded, "Yeah."

The runner opened her mouth to say more but he stopped her, "I know what you're thinking, that I'm afraid he's going to hurt you and that he won't. How do you know he won't Liss? I trust Hide, but I don't trust him."

She thought about his reasoning and had to admit, he was right. "I get that, but Hide trusts him, and you trust Hide, so don't worry too much about it."

"Fine. But if he ever does something to upset you let me know."

His cousin grinned, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. She ruffed up his hair and gave him a nod of confirmation, "Don't worry Sammy, I will."

He rolled his eyes, but was content in the fact that Lissa would keep him informed. He gave her a smile and turned to go back inside, but she grabbed his arm, "Wait a second." She said seriously, "You need to go apologize to Metalreaper."

Sam, blinked, "What? Why!?" He cried in exasperation.

"He doesn't understand why you're acting this way! I didn't even have a clue until you told me. He hasn't done anything to me, so you owe him an apology."

"That won't be necessary."

Metalreaper came out the door and crossed his arms, staring at his charges.

Lissa rubbed the back of her head, an apology on her tongue, "Metalreaper I-"

The Autobot held his hand up to silence her, "It's okay. I heard the whole thing." He turned to Sam, "I understand why you acted the way you did, but I would never harm you, or Lissa for that matter."

The two men stared at each other for a long minute, as if sizing one another up. Sam nodded slowly and stuck his hand out, the break in the tension when he did so was instantaneous, "Well then, if you really are one of the good guys, welcome to my humble abode."

Lissa grinned as they shook hands. It was a relief to see them being friendly.

Sam left them alone then, giving her one last warning glance and then headed back inside. With her cousin gone Lissa motioned for Metalreaper to come with her, he wordlessly followed as she lead him out to the driveway. "Can we take a drive?" She asked softly.

The Autobot saw the angst on her face and nodded quickly, he opened the door for his charge, and then got in.

"You can deactivate your holoform, I'm fine with just talking with you as you are." She murmured as they sped down the road.

The man in the driver's seat disappeared, and the radio crackled to life, "What's wrong Lissa?" He asked concernedly.

Lissa sighed and leaned her head against the window. Closing her eyes, she battled inwardly with herself about telling him. "You're probably wondering what happened…" She stated simply, not moving from the glass.

A long pause, then he replied cautiously, "Well, yes I am. But I need you to understand that you don't need to tell me unless you want to. I know it must be hard…" He trailed off, leaving the question in the air.

The memories, the memories of that day that she tried so desperately to push away flooded into her mind. She could see it all as if it happened yesterday, and vividly feel the pain she'd experienced. A lone tear trailed down her scarred cheek, and she made no notion to wipe it away. Metalreaper watched her with concern and sympathy, seeing her like this made him want to know what happened to her even more. He played soft music to try to soothe her. Something that caused her this much pain and grief had to have been a horrible thing.

The broken girl opened her mouth, and closed it several times. It was so hard to talk about, but she knew in her heart that if she did then she would be one step closer to getting better, to getting this weight off her chest and just let it all go.

They drove in silence for awhile, with no particular destination in mind. Lissa for once let the memories come, she took them in stride and let the man's face fill her mind once again. Metalreaper grew more concerned as the minutes passed, and finally he opened a COM link to speak to Ironhide. He didn't know what the weapon's specialist was doing, but this was pretty fragging important.

The link went through, and a gruff voice came on the line, "What is it?"

"It's Lissa." He replied, the deep worry lacing his voice.

Ironhide's tone grew different then, he almost sounded a little worried himself. "What happened? Is she alright?"

"No sir, I don't think so," The guardian informed his commanding officer of the situation.

Ironhide sighed, "I knew I shouldn't have left so quickly. Just drive, let her calm down. There's not much you can to but wait it out. If she wants to tell you about it, she will."

"Sir…do you even know what happened to her?" Metalreaper asked tentatively. If Ironhide didn't even know, then there was a slim chance that she would tell him herself.

"I know enough, just leave her be. Don't try to get it out of her, got it?"

His answer sounded like he didn't know the whole story either. Metalreaper's spark sunk in it's chamber. It hurt him to see Lissa like this, although he'd just met her, she'd made an impression on him that no one else had. Someone who could do something like that had to be protected in his optics. "Yes sir." He answered reluctantly.

Satisfied with his answer, Ironhide closed the link. He was worried about Lissa, but he had a war to fight. The Decepticon's were on the move again, and N.E.S.T had given him some news that he didn't like. They thought their enemy had human allies.

Metalreaper glanced at the young woman again, and seeing her made him even stronger in the decision he just made.

Lissa opened her eyes as she felt the truck come to an abrupt stop. She sat up and glanced around, "Where are we?" She asked weakly.

"Somewhere I thought you might like."

The holoform solidified in the cab and grinned mischievously at his human companion. Hopping out of the cab, and came around and opened the door for her. She almost laughed when he bowed as she got out, "My lady." He exclaimed grandly. She gave him a little smile and looked around again.

"Okay I bite, where did you bring me?"

Metalreaper's eyes glowed with mirth and motioned for her to follow him.

As far as she knew they were in a forest, all she could see was trees, trees, and more trees. She honestly didn't think that he would hurt her, so she went with it.

They walked in companionable silence through the dense foliage, picking their way through the fallen trees. After a few minutes they came upon an old path. Metalreaper made a sound as if this was what he was looking for, and they followed the overgrown walkway.

Lissa became lost in her thoughts as they hiked, and an perturbed look crossed her face. Metalreaper saw it and fell in step with her. "We're almost there, I would've drove but this is the only way to get there."

His companion nodded minutely, but the faraway look never left her eyes. He didn't press the matter, and hoped that what he was going to show her would cheer her up a bit.

"Oof!" Lissa slammed into something hard and almost fell to the ground. Her guardian caught her with lightning speed and helped her regain her balance. "Sorry." She mumbled sheepishly, seeing that he was the thing she ran into.

The Autobot grinned and chuckled a little, "It's alright, we're here."

She didn't see anything that she hadn't seen on their little nature walk and gave him a confused look. "Um…what am I supposed to see.?"

He laughed heartily, and pulled the trees limbs away that were suppressing their view, "This."

Lissa gasped, and walked out into the sunlight. He had brought her to the ocean.

Tears stung her eyes, it was beautiful, and there was no one else in sight. She wondered how she didn't hear the waves, but figured she was just too deep in thought.

"Wow…" She whispered in awe. It really was beautiful, much of the day had passed, and the sun was just now touching the horizon. The water sparkled like a shining gemstone, and the lazy waves gave the whole place a tranquil air.

She really was starting to wonder when she was going to stop crying today.

Turning to Metalreaper, she gestured to the view. "How did you-where did you find this place?"

He grinned, happy that she liked it just as much as he did, "I spent awhile trekking around the U.S. until N.E.S.T found me. I just happened to be in this area and stumbled across it. What do you think?"

She made a sound of incredulousness, "I think it's completely and irrevocably amazing. Thank you for showing me."

Then she did something that took his breath away, she smiled. This time, it actually reached her eyes, and was completely genuine. If he had ever come across one before, the girl standing before him was one of the most beautiful creatures he'd ever seen in his life. The realization struck him like a ton of bricks, and he couldn't help but grin as she skipped into the water like a child. "I haven't been to the ocean in years!" She laughed and threw water into the air. "I never realized how much I've been missing."

Pride swelled up in his spark, and he sat on a nearby rock to watch her.

Suddenly, a noise from the trees caught his attention, and his senses went on high alert. He jumped up and stilled to listen for the noise again. One of the nearby trees rustled, and he could feel a presence very close and advancing fast. He turned and swiftly grabbed Lissa from the water and put her behind him. Whatever it was, he didn't recognize it, it's scent was too confusing.

"Metal, what-"

"Shh." He whispered sharply, and she obeyed.

He tensed as the thing came closer, and wanted to slagging hit himself for going so far away from his alt mode. If it was a Decepticon, they would have to run.

He felt Lissa's fear as she saw a figure in the shadows. He saw it too, and in his split mind tried to find a way to bring his truck form around.

A few tense minutes passed, and all the could be heard was the gentle rolling of the waves. "Show yourself fragger!" Metalreaper barked loudly.

A small chuckle, then the figure came out of the trees.

"Hide?" Lissa exclaimed softly.

The rugged looking holoform glanced at his charge, acknowledging her and crossed his arms. He gave Metalreaper a long, hard look then spoke, "You shouldn't have gone so far from your alternate mode, if I was a real threat, she would be dead right now."

The soldier nodded, "I know, it was a mistake, I just wanted to show her-"

"It was a mistake and I don't care!" Hide barked sternly, "She would be dead and I would've thrown you to the Pit!"

The two came towards each other, and Lissa felt their tempers flare.

"Stop!" She cried and wedged herself between them. "Don't fight okay? Yes maybe we shouldn't have gone so far, but I felt pretty low Hide, I needed this. Please don't be angry with him."

Ironhide looked down at the little female for a long moment and groaned. The puppy dog eyes she was making was bound to bring any man to his knees. "Fine." He glared at his soldier, "But if you make another mistake like this, you're done. I will not leave her in danger."

Metalreaper stepped away and gave him a small salute, "I understand sir, I will not let you down."

"Good." He growled, and Lissa and Metalreaper stood there, staring at him. He saw them wondering what they were supposed to do now and waved them away. "Oh do continue, you're already here, no sense in leaving just yet."

Lissa squealed and twirled back to the water, "Thanks Hide!" She called over her shoulder.

Ironhide gave a small smile, but it left as soon as he saw his soldier staring at her.

"Where were you?" He asked, turning to Ironhide.

"Base, Decepticon's were sighted. They were just drones, so I was not needed on the mission. I decided to find you two and give you a little test. You failed, if you were wondering."

His soldier flinched minutely, and Ironhide almost grinned at his discomfort, "I know sir. It won't happen next time."

"Sometimes, there isn't a next time. Protect her with your life, and if you don't, I will be very, very angry."

He saw the real threat there, and knew he probably wouldn't want to get him angry. Ironhide packed a punch, and his cannon's were the last thing he wanted pointed on him.

"I have never felt so peaceful in my life." A voice murmured from the water. Human's wouldn't have been able to pick up on her words, but the two Cybertronians could. They focused their attention on Lissa, she was just standing there, eyes closed, the waves lapping at her feet.

A soft look passed both of the mech's faces, and they watched her as she turned to them. She opened her eyes, and her face turned grave, "I think…I think it's time to tell you how I got these scars…"

A/N: I. Am. On. A. ROLL! This is a long one, and there's a bit of a Joker reference in the last sentence for all of you who have seen the movies. ;) What she means is the scars she has inside and outside. Do I know if this will be a love triangle? Nope! I don't really…plan what I write, it just happens I guess. But don't worry, this'll stay IronhidexLissa all the way, I might just add something of that sort to make things interesting. *Smiley* Sam showed his soft side today! It's a miracle I know! Anyways, Merry Christmas all! Don't forget to review!

As always,

~Court