11.
When Sara woke up she stopped breathing for a few seconds, lay still and listened the sound around her. She heard somebody jump in the apartment above her, the sound of the street through the open window, loud music from the apartment next door but no sound from her own apartment. The place next to her in bed was cold and empty, if Grissom was here, he had to be in the living room, quiet. Maybe he sat in his favorite chair and read a book. It was five in the afternoon, time to get up. She had a case to close and not only a private life to worry about.
Slowly she got up and walked into the living room. Empty. Just like her kitchen. Empty, with no traces of Grissom. No traces on her cell phone and no letter under her front door. Sure, Grissom writes her a love letter and leaves it at their door, like a teenager in love. In which fantasy world did she live?
While she prepared herself for work in the bathroom her dinner, a pizza, was in the oven. Some fuel for her stomach before a few more hours of work lay in front of her. Twelve or much it took to close the case. She wanted it to be over. Move on and…did it have to do with Doug? No! Actually she liked the fact he was here. Maybe he could come back and…she promised him to stay in touch.
Back to Grissom. Her husband didn't call, he didn't come home. What do to now? She sighed, turned off the oven and got her cell phone. Give it another try, there was nothing to lose. More than listen to his voice mail again couldn't happen. His voice telling her, he was busy and would call back as soon as he had the time. What if he didn't have the time? When he was too busy with…other things.
And when he answered the phone, she asks him where he was and he says: Las Vegas, with Heather. I changed my mind about us, don't want to be with you anymore. She has more style, has no problems with me being away all the time and she beats me at mental chess. It is more fun to be with her than with you. Sorry Sara, our marriage is over, it's better we continue our lives without each other. You told me once you were fine without me, I'm sure you'll fine without me again.
These thoughts made her take deep breaths to reduce the heartbeat and the pain she felt. Did the pain mean she was still in love with him? What a stupid question, of cause she loved him. He was her husband, they were married and…why did she wonder about these things? She should know about her feelings, should know they were meant for each other and there was no way they could not be together. So why did she doubt them? Where came all these doubts from? Was it because she saw Grissom and Heather in the café?
Her cell phone rang, her heart jumped and she looked at the I.D. of the caller. Not Grissom. She really thought it was him calling her, telling he, he was here and ready to see her. Ready for a welcome back in town celebration. The best reason to come in late at work.
"Hey Doug."
"Hey Sara, how are you? Do you need a food delivery?"
"No, I've got a pizza ready to eat."
"No more ice cream?"
"Not today and not tomorrow."
"Grissom?"
"No sign of him, no message, nothing. I wonder if we were wrong. Or if I was wrong. Maybe it was a man, who looked like Grissom."
"Grey hair, beard, old fashioned shirt, glasses, teddy bear style man, intense eyes, full of interested for the one he listened to. A slightly ridiculous looking hat next to him on the chair."
"Did you take a photo?"
"No, I remember details. If I told you about this man, would you have guessed it's your husband?"
"Yes." She sighed.
"You know how your husband looks like, you married him. Even when you're having a long distance relationship, you know your husband, you recognize him, when you see him. When he sits less than thirty yards away from you, in bright daylight. Don't question yourself, nothing is wrong with you. Question him, if somebody makes a mistake, it's him. Not you. Do you understand me?"
"Yes."
"Do you believe it?"
"Kind of." She tried to, she really did, but it wasn't easy. To her, it was always easier to blame herself instead of another person.
"Change this. You did nothing wrong. Would you like some company while you have dinner?"
"All you want is half of my pizza, forget it, it's all mine. You made me eat a lot of ice cream, I will continue this unhealthy lifestyle, alone and in dignity."
"All right." He laughed. "Enjoy your pizza, I see you soon at work. And Sara?"
"Yes?"
"I've got the feeling we'll close the case today. I've got a feeling of victory."
"Must be the ice cream flash from today. If you're right, we have a reason to celebrate later. I buy breakfast."
"Now this is a reason for me to work even harder. Later Sara."
"Later Doug." She ended the call and got up to get her pizza. Wasn't he cute? He called to make sure, she was fine, offered to come along, be her company, listen to her whine.
Why wasn't her husband a little bit like Doug? Why didn't he call, make sure she was fine? The last time he called was…a long time ago. At least it felt like it.
"No more whining, no more waiting and wondering, it was time to get some answers." She dialed his number. "Answer the phone, answer the phone, answer the phone." She mumbled. It rang twice, three times, four times. "Come on, pick up the bloody phone."
"Hi, this is Grissom." No, not again. Not again the voice mail. "Please leave a message."
"Hello Gilbert, this is Sara. Please call me, we need to talk…I…I need some answers. I…I want to know where you are, when you're back with me." Did she sound desperate? Did her voice sound accusing? Was it wrong she did this? Now it was too late, she couldn't take it back, couldn't delete it. Hopefully he listened to it soon and called.
She really needed some answers, otherwise she would drive herself crazy. And continue to live in a nightmare, that might have become reality.
Before she could get her pizza out of the oven her cell phone rang and this time the I.D. was her husband.
