16.

It was a little bit after four when Sara woke up. Her sleep wasn't the best, her dreams were strange and most of the times she dreamed of her life with Grissom. About the happy times they had, about the first time they met, all the things they had been through and the worst time, when she saw Heather and Grissom. Again and again she saw her husband and the other woman sitting in the café and each time, the scenery got worse. First they talked, then they hold hands, then they kissed and the last time, he could practically see them making love on the table. She felt sick when she woke up and it was hard not to throw up on the floor.

With sleepy eyes she went into the living room.

"Good afternoon, Sleepy Beauty." Doug sat on the couch and read the newspaper. He stayed over to make sure, she was fine. Like her personal male nurse.

"Hey, how did you sleep?"

"Good, your couch is very comfortable. You don't look like you had a good sleep, more like you had a couple of nightmares."

"I did, I saw Grissom and Heather in way, I never want to see them. Not that I want to see them at all." She shivered when she thought about it. Get your mind off it, Sara, don't think about it. You can't influence your subconscious, but you can influence what you think of while you're awake. At least a little bit.

"Can I make you some dinner?" After he made breakfast for, it was only fair when she took care of dinner. And she couldn't send him home, after he stayed here for her.

"No, I take you out for dinner, remember? You've got two hours to prepare yourself - not that you need it, but I do."

"Sweet-talker."

"Honest. There's some coffee in the kitchen. Hot."

"Thanks."

"Whatever it takes to make you happy." He got up. "Let me know if you need something. Like a new lock. Change it, Sara. Today. This way you won't come home and find Grissom in here. If he wants to see you, he has to call you, ask you if you have some time for him. And when he wants his things, he can as your lawyer or wait until you throw them out of the window."

"I'll buy a new lock right away. Half an hour and it's done."

"Good." He pulled her in his arms and kissed her hair. "Your eyes are a little bit red."

"Shall I wear sunshades later? While we have dinner?"

"No, we will try to make your red eyes disappear in a different way." He let go of her. "Two hours, Sidle, don't let me wait."

"I never let you wait."

"True, you're one of the few women, how are on time. Quarter past six, my dear."

"Quarter past six, I'll be at my door, hungry." She smiled. Two hours to get a new lock and make herself look a little bit less like a cry baby. Tonight she'd go back to work and didn't want everybody to see, something was wrong. They'd find out about her and Grissom's separation sooner or later anyway.

With a new lock in her front door and most of Grissom's clothes in bags, ready to give them away or let him get them - from in front of her apartment. She didn't want him in here anymore. Like she hoped she'd never bump into him and Heather in a café or on the street. Her private cell phone was switched off. Why weren't her feelings switched off? Why did she still think of him? Miss him? He hurt her, lied to her and she missed him. No, she missed the Grissom, she fell in love with. The man, who asked her, after a bee stung her, if she wants to marry him. The man, who left Vegas to be with her. Her husband. The man she married. What happened to this man? Where was he? Where did she lose him? When? And why?

Was there really no other way than a divorce? There were so many ways to save a marriage, so many ways to save what's important to you. The question was, was it important to her to save her marriage? And to him? Didn't he make it obvious he wanted to be with Heather? Because she had style. And Sara? What did Sara have? He told her once, she was the only one he ever loved. Was this a lie too? Was it always a lie when he said, he loved her? Missed her. The last time he wrote it, in the message, he said he had a surprise for her, it was. She was sure about this now.

So, what did this mean to her? She had to change her life. Again. Leave Vegas? No, she liked Vegas, she had her friends and work here and…and the possibility to run into Grissom with Heather. Like she did two days ago. Could she handle that? Or was it better to go somewhere else, where nothing reminded her of Grissom.

Back to San Francisco? Back to…her past? It was a good time. Most of it. Or a new place? She had no idea. Maybe she needed some more time to think about everything, come up with new plans. Running away from her problems and past was no solution. She tried this too.

A divorce. Some might say they saw that coming. That it couldn't work out because she and Grissom were too alike. As nice as it is to have somebody, who ticks like you do, sooner or later you get bored, look for some change, for something new, something exciting. Sara was a lot of things, but she wasn't exciting. Heather, on the other hand, was. Just her past, her jobs, made her unusual, exciting, like you got your hands on the cookie jar, knowing, you weren't allowed to do so. No wonder her husband tuned his attention away from her, to the woman, he has been interested in for many years. Who had something about her, that made him be there, come to her, whenever she wanted it. No matter what Sara wanted or thought. When Heather needed him, he was there. And while she wanted him to make a decisions, Heather let him live his life, knowing she'd get him anyway.

When she heard somebody knocking on her door, she checked her watch. Half past five, this couldn't be Doug, it was too early for him. Grissom? What would she do when he was here? When he told her, he had been an idiot, was sorry and wanted her back. Would she give in? Would she take him back? Or what if he was here to tell her again, it was over and he wanted all his things back, wanted to get them himself? She didn't want him in the apartment. Did this also answer if she wanted him back in her life? How could she want him in her life when she didn't want him in her apartment?

Or was it Doug, who was early? No, he would have let her know it's him, call her name through the door. He knew how she felt, that she'd think it's Grissom. The postman? Or a neighbor, who wanted to borrow some flour or salt? Whoever it was, just don't let it be Grissom, she thought. Could she pretend, she wasn't here? No, somebody knocked on her door again, like this person knew, she was here and listened.

Looked like she had to open the door and see, who was there and demanded to be let inside her apartment.