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Chapter 12: Carlisle's party and Wal-Mart antics.

EPOV

The little stunt that Bella pulled pissed me right the fuck off. I didn't really care that she chased Kate away. Kate was replaceable. I know that sounds awful of me but it was true, just as it was true that I was replaceable for her. We were just, for lack of better words, fuck buddies.

No, what pissed me off was that shit was embarrassing, and I had all the old ladies in the restaurant glaring at me as if I was the devil himself. They were all mumbling things about youth these days, and marrying to young, and dead beat fathers.

Bella was making it pretty damn obvious that she didn't want to hook up with me and now she was set on making sure I couldn't hook up with anybody else.

Bella wanted to play games? Well, I like games…Let's play Bella dear.

She did have a good idea though. The camping trip this weekend sounded like a great idea. Jasper, Emmett, and I used to go camping all the time, but we haven't been camping in awhile. And…Bella can't run away from me in the middle of the woods, which just seemed like an added bonus.

School on Friday went quickly. We all had had only a couple classes and were done by noon. I packed a weekend bag quickly and headed for the parking lot to meet up with everyone else.

"Ready to party?" Emmett asked practically bouncing in his spot by his jeep.

"You know it more like a dinner party right? With all of dad's doctor friends." I asked.

"Who cares? A parties a party." He said. "Then were going camping with bears. Hell yeah!"

"No bears, Emmett." Bella said coming up behind me with Rosalie and Alice. "Maybe some wolves though."

Emmett grumbled not happy. He is a bear of a man himself but I would put money on if he came face to face with a real bear he would piss himself.

"So who's going camping?" I asked.

"Jessica, Angela, Lauren, Mike, Ben, and Jake. There all going to meet us in La Push tomorrow morning." Bella answered.

Great the whole fucking geek squad. I personally have nothing against Ben and Angela. But I have never been a fan of Newton's, Jessica is always trying to hit on me, Lauren is, or used to be, one of my hookups, it would just be awkward to be around her, and Jacob? Well I don't really know him, but since he's been with Bella, I don't like him. Illogical, I know…and I don't care.

"Were there no cool people available?" I asked annoyed.

"They're are friends, and your not going to be an ass." Bella snapped.

I saluted her and climbed into the back on Emmett's jeep. As much as I didn't want to leave my car we decided to all ride together and save on gas. I noticed Bella and Emmett were whispering by the back of the jeep. Weird.

Suddenly Rosalie was standing next the jeep where I was sitting. "Out." She said.

I looked at her like she was insane.

"Bella is going to take her truck so that we have a vehicle to haul the camping equipment in, and you're riding with her." Alice explained standing at the other door. I suddenly felt like a caged animal.

I huffed and got of the jeep and into Bella POS truck. I couldn't tell Bella my opinions of her truck being a piece of shit, because she would go on her rant again about her truck having feelings. There was a topic I wanted to avoid like the plague.

"Ready husband dear?" Bella said with a giggle as she started her truck.

I rolled my eyes and ignored her nickname for me. Bella reached for the radio and turned on man hating chick music. I could not listen to that the whole way. I pulled my ipod out of my pocket, shoved the ear buds into my ears, and tuned her music out.

"Mom, dad!" I heard someone yell. I opened my eyes to see we were parked in my parent's driveway. I must have fallen asleep. I stretched and got out of the truck to see Bella run towards two people I didn't know.

I then realized that it was Bella who had yelled mom and dad. Great, I get to spend tonight with Bella's parents and tomorrow night with the geek squad. This was shaping up to be a great damn weekend.

"Hey mom." I said as Esme came running down the stairs. She ran right past me and screamed, "Renee!"

"Oh my god, Esme. It has been way to long." The woman said embracing Esme in a huge hug.

Carlisle came down the stairs and shook hands with Bella's father.

"Guys this is Charlie and Renee." Esme introduced. "And these are our sons Emmett, Edward, and Jasper."

"I had heard you only two sons." Renee said after she greeted us all.

"Technically we have two biological sons, but we adopted Jasper when he was ten and he's just as much our son as Edward and Emmett." Esme explained while ruffling Jasper's hair. I laughed as Japer tried fixing his hair. Such the girl.

"The other guests will start arriving soon so go get settled and then get ready. And please behave." She said to us boys. Such faith she had in us, but then again we all knew Emmett had a hard time behaving.

We all carried our bags in to the house and went to our rooms. I noticed Alice went into Jasper's room with him. I'm sure she would be pleased with all the hair products he had. And Rosalie went into Emmett's room with him.

I walked into my room and jumped sky high when I heard a voice behind me. "This is a nice room." Bella said putting her bag on the bed.

I sat down on the couch and watched her examine my room. I watched as she ran her hands across all my cd's and looked impressed by my selection. "Can I room with you?" She asked while she looked at my bookcase.

I raised an eyebrow at her in question. "Well Emmett and Rose are shaking up and so is Jasper and Alice. Don't worry I wont take advantage of you." I snorted at her promise.

"Wuthering Heights? Really?" She said picking up the faded copy of my favorite book.

"It's my favorite." I said.

"Hmm…I never really got into it." She said putting it back.

"Well, not everything can be about vampires, wolves, and wizards." I mumbled.

I agreed to let Bella share my room, even though I was a little uncomfortable with it since her parents were in the same house. However, I knew Bella, and I knew nothing would be happening between us.

We all got dressed and head downstairs as Esme was telling us to hurry up.

"You're going to behave, right Emmett?"

"Geeze, mom. I'm not a child." Emmett whined.

"No your not, your Emmett and that's much worse." Esme said straightening his tie.

"That was just rude." Emmet mumbled mussing his tie back up.

The party was in full swing. Esme had hired a caterer and they had arranged the living room for dancing. Along with all of us, there were about twenty or so of my father's friends and work associates.

"Guys this is Doctor Morrison." My father introduced. "We went to medical school together."

"Are in emergency medicine?" I asked.

"No. I specialize in reconstructive surgery." He answered.

"So, you're a plastic surgeon?" Emmett asked.

Dr. Morrison nodded.

"I always wanted to know something." Emmett said. I saw my father slightly cringe knowing this was not going to be good. "Can men get breast implants?"

The doctor spit his drink and choked at Emmett's question. "Well, I suppose they could if they had enough skin tissue on there chest. But, I personally have never done it or seen any who has had it done."

"That would be so cool to have your have your own titties. I would never be able to stop groping myself." My father looked like he was about to kill Emmett.

"Is that something you're interested in having done to yourself?" Dr. Morrison asked.

"No, no." Emmett answered. "I have perfect Pecs, I couldn't ruin those. Plus I have a girlfriend I can grope whenever I want to." Emmett Cullen had a girlfriend? I never thought I would hear him say that.

Finally, Emmett stopped his conversation and walked off to find Rosalie.

"Sorry about him. He has never had a brain to mouth filter." Carlisle said to Dr. Morrison as they walked away.

We all sat down to dinner and everyone toasted Carlisle for his promotion. Everyone was saying there congratulations and of course Emmett had to raise his glass and say, "Here's to men who have there own boobs."

"Emmett." Esme growled. Suddenly Jasper winced in pain as Esme kick him under the table missing Emmett.

The rest of dinner and the party went smoothly. After everyone left we all headed to our rooms for the night. I grabbed a pair of pajama pants and headed for the bathroom that was in my room.

I came out of the bathroom with just the pants on, no shirt, and found Bella already changed and laying on the bed. She quietly gasped when she saw my naked chest. Apparently, she liked what she saw.

"What are you doing?" Bella asked as I climbed onto the bed.

"This is my room, sweetie. I'm not sleeping on the couch." I said as I lay facing her. "If your uncomfortable sharing a bed with me, you're free to move to the couch."

"I'm fine." She said as she moved to her side to face me.

I lay there looking into her eyes for a few minutes before I couldn't help myself and I ran my fingers across her forehead moving the hair that had fallen there. I leaned closer to her and lightly pressed my lips against hers. She didn't stop me or pull away so I rolled over and put a hand on each side of her head on the pillow and deepened the kiss.

Bella grabbed on to my hair as her tongue traced my lower lip. My tongue darted out and met hers. We kept kissing more and more deeply until I pulled away for a breath. I reached into the nightstand as she attacked my neck with her tongue and teeth.

I pulled her hands out of my hair and handcuffed her hands around a post on the headboard.

"What the hell are you doing?" Bella asked looking up at her now handcuffed hands.

"You got me off, now I'm going to do the same to you." I whispered in her ear, and then trailed my tongue down her neck. "The handcuffs are just for fun." She didn't seem to mind being handcuffed as she let out a moan at the feeling of my hand ghosting down her chest and rubbing against the outside of her boy shorts.

I continued to lick and bite at her neck as I dipped my hand into her shorts. I pulled one of legs between mine to get better access, as I ran my fingers down where I knew she wanted me most.

"Damn your wet." I said as I pushed one finger inside of her. I pumped my finger slowly a few times before I pushed in another finger. Bella was moaning as I fucked her with my fingers and used my thumb to circle her clit.

"Oh, god…feels…so good." Bella said through moans.

I sped up what I was doing to her. Bella arched her back and fisted the sheets and I knew she was getting close. It killed me to do it, but I pulled my hand away before she came.

"What are you doing?" Bella panted.

"Paybacks a bitch, Bella." I whispered in her ear. I hoped off the bed and headed for the door. "I need a drink. Be right back."

"Edward, you asshole!" I heard Bella scream as I left the room.

BPOV

Edward stopping what he was doing to me right before I hit the brink of ecstasy was an asshole move. Leaving me handcuffed so that I couldn't even finish myself off was just plain mean.

I was supposed to be the mastermind in the head war. How I let him get the one up on me just pissed me off. I guess I did kind of deserve it. I had been a little meaner then I intended. However, I wouldn't let him do it again. I knew that for sure.

Edward came back in the room with a shit-eating grin on his face as I glared at him. He reached up and un-cuffed my hands. I rolled over facing away from him and didn't say a word to him as I heard him chuckle while he lay back down.

I woke up in the morning feeling completely refreshed. This bed was so damn comfortable; I slept like a baby, without the getting up ever three hours for a bottle part.

I threw Edwards arm that was wrapped around me, off of me and crawled out of bed. I went into Edward's bathroom, took a nice hot shower, dressed and went to find everyone else in the kitchen.

Everyone, except Edward who was still sleeping, was sitting around the table eating a breakfast that smelled delicious.

"How did you sleep?" Renee asked as I sat down next to her.

"I slept really great. I would love to take that bed back to school with me."

Charlie didn't look very pleased that I slept in Edward's room, but hey, where the hell else was I suppose to sleep?

"What the heck was going on in there last night?" Emmett asked amused. "It sounded like you were calling Edward an asshole."

I sat looking at Emmett not knowing what to say as everyone was looking at me waiting for an answer. Luckily, Edward walked into the kitchen and saved me. "What can I say; I seem to get under her skin." He laughed.

After we all ate breakfast we loaded all of our bags in the back of Emmett's jeep. We said goodbye to our parent's who told us to have fun on our camping trip. They were spending the day together to catch up on missed years. Esme and Renee acted like the best of friends who had never been separated by twenty years.

"Let's go!" Emmett shouted. "Were off to Wal-Mart! It's like my fucking Disneyworld." I have never seen anyone so excited to go to Wal-Mart.

Edward and I got into my truck and followed behind Emmett and everyone else in his jeep. I ignored Edward the whole way there. He only laughed at my silence. Dick.

Once I finally found a parking spot, this parking lot was joke, we walked into Wal-Mart behind Emmett who was literally skipping and singing Follow the Yellow Brick Road. He wasn't happy that no one would skip with him.

"Welcome to Wal-Mart." Emmett, Jasper, and Edward all said to the greeter at the same time he said it. The old man looked confused.

"We have a couple tents but were going to need to grab a couple more." Edward said as we headed for sporting goods.

Rose and Alice said they couldn't sleep on the ground so the guys put three air mattresses into the cart. Sleeping on the ground didn't matter to me, that was camping.

"Look at this." Emmett said. "Dissolving toilet paper. Who the hell needs toilet paper in the woods?"

"Umm…we do. Not all of us can just shake it and call it a day." Alice said pulling the toilet paper out of his hand and throwing it in the cart.

After they had the cart full of camping equipment, most of which we probably didn't even need, we went to the food section. We grabbed all the stuff for hotdogs and hamburgers, an assortment of chips, and about type's different types of pop.

"To bad we can't get beer." Emmett said.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." Jasper said. "The last time we drank we ended up on you tube."

"Well, we need stuff for s'mores or I'm not going." Emmett said folding his arms over his chest.

"Such a baby, sometimes." Rosalie mumbled. "We'll get s'mores."

"Thanks, babe." Emmett kissed Rose on the cheek. "You girls get that stuff and were going to go look around."

After we got all stuff for s'mores, we circled the store looking the guys. We couldn't find them anywhere. Suddenly we spotted them all walking down the main isle towards us, each one with a hand on there hip and there other arm was swinging as well as there hips.

"What the hell are they wearing?" I asked.

"Oh my god, I think there wearing bra's." Alice said. Sure enough, that's exactly what they were wearing.

"Wanna feel my boobies?" Emmett asked. "There new."

"What is wrong with you?" Rose asked.

We all turned when we noticed Jasper and Edward were walking away, still in there bras.

Emmett ran to catch up with them as Edward and Jasper went into electronics. As we made our way there, we saw Edward playing with the station on one of the stereos. Once a slow song came on, Emmett grabbed Jasper and they started dancing. Jasper put his head on Emmett's shoulder as they twirled in a slow circle.

"This is good blackmail." Rosalie said taking pictures of them on her cell phone.

Once the song was over Emmett and jasper bowed to the crowed they had drawn, then all three of them walked away.

We followed behind them as the disappeared into the toys. We found Edward and Jasper grabbing plastic guns.

"Boys and there toys." Alice whispered.

Suddenly Edward said, "We will find you Emmett." Then Edward and Jasper both threw themselves down on the floor and crawled down the isle. They were rolling around the floor shooting each other and making weird gun noises.

Jasper fell backwards holding his chest and said with a southern accent, "You got me, partner."

They both stood up laughing and put there guns away. They turned to the balls that were behind them and started bouncing them on the floor.

Suddenly Jasper grabbed a small ball and threw it down the isle yelling, "Pikachu, I choose you."

Edward was doubled over in laughter as Emmett's head popped around the corner where the ball went. "What the hell was that?" He asked.

"Pikachu, you are much bigger in person." Jasper said amazed.

Emmett ran down the isle toward us and yelled, "On guard," as her threw Edward and Jasper foam swords.

They dueled for a few minutes until Emmett hit Jasper in the crotch with his sword. "You have to protect the jewels." Emmett laughed.

After they put the swords back and finally took the bras off, we headed for the clothes. I wanted to get a new hoodie for tonight.

I picked out just a plain black over sized one and threw it in the cart. We were wondering what was going on as Edward was whispering in Emmett's ear. Emmett had a huge smile on his face. "I dare you." Edward said.

"You don't have to tell me twice." Emmett said as he grabbed something out of the cart then went to the dressing room.

"I need a dressing room." Emmett said to the women working there.

"What are you trying on?" The women asked confused taking in that Emmett wasn't holding any clothes.

"These." Emmett said holding up a box of condoms.

"Sir, you can't try those on in the store."

"Look at me." Emmett said. "I am a huge man. All of me is huge. And I'm not just saying that." He winked. "I don't want condoms that are too small. That would be horrible. Could you imagine me using a condom that was to small and my super sperm got loose on some poor girl which in turn created a little me?"

"I can imagine that would be horrible, sir."

I was hiding my face in Edwards back as I laughed at the look on the poor employees face.

"I agree. I don't think the world is quite ready for that." Emmett expressed. "Or if that didn't happen, but the to small condom cut off circulation to my manhood and killed any chance of me having a little me in the future, my mom would be devastated to never have grandchildren all because I wasn't allowed to try on a condom. I would be devastated if a small condom made my anaconda of a cock into nothing more then a limp noodle that I couldn't do anything with. Do you want that on your conscience?"

"No. But I really can't let you try them on." She said. "How about, you buy them, go home, try them on, and if they don't fit I will personally give you your money back."

"Great." Emmett said. "I will even bring you a picture for proof."

"That's not necessary."

"Oh trust me; you'll want to see it. Every woman does." Emmett said walking away. The women just stared after him dumbstruck.

"I can't believe Jasper missed that." Alice said. "Where the heck did he go?"

Everyone shrugged as we suddenly heard a weird little horn. We turned to see Jasper coming towards in an electric wheelchair, honking the horn. "Watch out! Crippled man coming threw."

"Jasper, what the hell are you doing?" Alice asked.

"I told them I was badly injured in a fencing match." He smiled.

"Ohhh…I want one." Emmett's eyes lit up.

"No." Rose said grabbing Emmett by the arm. "You can walk."

"Aww…your no fun." He whined.

"Let's go check out and get the hell out of here." I said.

As we were standing in line, I picked up one of the magazines and was thumbing through it to see the latest gossip. I stopped on the article of Robert Pattinson, and was reading about his latest rumored love affair.

"Is that that vampire all the girls are going crazing over?" Edward asked looking over my shoulder.

"Yeah, he's totally hot." I said looking up from the article.

"Humph…I don't see what you all see in him."

"Are you kidding me?" I asked incredulously. "He's sexy, killer eyes, sex hair you just want to run your damn fingers though, a jaw line you just want to bite, killer smile. Plain and simple…he's hot."

Edward rolled his eyes, "I don't see it."

I looked towards Rob's picture then at Edward then back to his picture. "Hmmm." I said.

"What?" Edward asked furrowing his brows.

"You kind of look like him."

"So you're saying I'm hot?" He asked with a smile.

"I said you kind of look like him."

"I like Kellan. All muscle. I say the bigger the better." Rose said grabbing on to Emmett's arm, which he was flexing.

"Nah, I go with Jackson. Quiet and confident. That's sexy." Alice added smiling at Jasper who was smiling back from his wheelchair. I couldn't look at Jasper in his wheelchair without laughing at him.

We all chipped in to pay for the camping gear and headed for the doors to leave.

"Have a nice day." Edward, Emmett, and Jasper all said to the greeter at the same time that he said it. Poor guy still looked confused.

An employee helped Jasper out of his wheelchair by the door. "Thank you very much." Jasper said then took off running out the door as the employee just stared after him. At least the employees would all have interesting stories to tell there friends and families later.

The guys loaded all the stuff we bought into the back of my truck and then we left to go meet everyone at La Push.

A/N: I hope you all liked this chapter. I have to thank my brother for doing a few of these things in Wal-Mart. He's fun to shop with. Next up…were going camping.

Please review…It makes my day!!!