AN: Thank you guys so much for your continued reviews/interest. You keep me writing. Sorry for the slightly longer gaps between updates - work has been kicking my tail these past weeks and it seems like I haven't had the time to breathe let alone write/post. Trying my best, thanks for your patience. And yes, we will see more of the team here and there in later chapters - Brass and Sofia especially.

Take care and enjoy.


CHAPTER 23

"When the world crumbles at your feet, do not misplace the pieces. You never know their potential to be rebuilt."


CATHERINE POV

"Willows."

"Cath, it's me."

Oh thank God. Nancy and I have been sitting anxiously at her kitchen table for the past four hours, trying to think about anything other than the Sara alone at the hospital.

At first we vented our feelings on the matter to one another, but then that quickly transformed to the anxious silence that permeated the whole house for the remainder of the time.

"Sara," I breathe out. "How are you doing?"

"It's over," she tells me, ignoring the rest.

"Okay," I respond quietly, not really sure what the appropriate response here is. "What can I do?" I ask instead.

"Do you mind if…" Sara trails off, and I can practically see her running her hand through her hair. "Do you mind if I come over?" she finishes quietly, her voice strained.

"Of course not," I tell her immediately, my eyes closing in relief at her request, at her willingness to voice her request in spite of how hard I know it must have been for her to do so. "Do you want me to pick you up?"

I can hear her take a breath, trying to steady herself.

"No, I'll find a ride, thanks."

"Okay," I give in, picking my battles.

"See you in a little bit," she tells me before hanging up.

Closing my cell, I place my phone numbly on the table.

Looking up, Nancy is watching me nervously.

"She's coming over," I tell her.

"Is he…?"

"Yes."

She nods silently, taking in a long breath.

"I'll put on some coffee," Nancy eventually states, getting up to keep herself occupied as we wait for Sara to arrive.


Hearing a knock, Nancy's eyes move to mine.

Without a word, I get up and make my way quickly to the door.

Opening it, Sara and I simply watch each other for a moment, neither one of us moving nor speaking.

Clearing my throat, I pull myself together.

"Come in," I tell her, backing away from the door.

Sara steps inside, hands rubbing anxiously against the side of her pants.

Not able to take it any longer, I reach forward and pull Sara into my embrace.

At first her body is stiff against mine, clearly caught off guard by my action. But, slowly, she moves her arms to reach around my back and return the gesture.

Holding her tightly, I close my eyes, fighting against all the emotions this embrace elicits from deep within me.

"I'm here," I whisper into her hair. "Please know that I'm here for you."

"I know," Sara replies quietly.

Holding each other awhile longer, Sara eventually pulls back, but keeps her body somewhat close to mine.

It's progress, I remind myself.

"Thanks," she offers, her eyes thanking me as well as her words.

I nod, "Always."

Eyes shifting from mine, Sara looks over as my sister makes her way further into the room.

"Hey," Nancy offers, a bit hesitant as she slowly comes to a stop a bit behind me.

"Hey," Sara responds, sending her a nod.

"Want some coffee?" Nancy asks, looking Sara over and trying to be subtle about it.

"Yeah, thanks."

We make our way into the kitchen, no one saying anything as our drinks are prepared. Taking our seats at the table, Sara takes a couple swallows, closing her eyes as she does so.

When she reopens them, she finds both our gazes on her.

Letting out a breath, she puts her coffee down.

"I'm sorry," she offers quietly. "I'm not really ready to…"

She trails off, and both Nancy and I are shaking our heads, breaking our intense gazes from her.

"No, it's fine," I tell her sincerely. "You don't have to say anything until you're ready."

Sara nods, turning her mug slowly in her hands.

"How's your side?" Nancy asks, changing the topic as she gestures to Sara's slightly awkward posture.

I'm sure the topic isn't an ideal one for her, but it likely beats the previous one.

"I don't know, to be honest," Sara says with a slightly abashed expression. "I haven't felt the urge to look."

Nancy shakes her head, not able to help the slight grin pulling at her lips.

"Well, judging from the dye job you've given my shirt, I would suggest perhaps letting me take a look at it…"

Looking down, Sara pulls her sweater open to reveal the University of Montana t-shirt Nancy loaned her below it. Seeing the deep crimson streak of red across the material, Sara shakes her head.

"Shit, I'm sorry," she tells my sister. "I didn't even realize."

"Hey, I owed you a shirt, remember?" Nancy tells her in response. "From that day I made you spew your coffee all over yourself when I asked you if you were pregnant?"

"You asked her what?" I blurt out, my voice raising a good couple of octaves, eyes darting between the two of them.

Grin pulling at her own lips now as well, Sara shrugs.

"Don't worry, it was just a scare. I started menstruating again the next day."

Nancy bursts out laughing, nearly spilling her own coffee all over herself.

"Sweet Lord," I mutter. "The two of you together sometimes is like being stuck with the kids in class who ate too much paste."

Sara tries not to smile, shaking her head.

The moment of levity doesn't last much longer, but it was enough. It was enough to break the spell that had previously been over all of us, the awkwardness that had seemed to permeate all of our interactions up until now.

I know the tension will soon return, but for right now, it feels good to not be quite so on edge.

"On your feet," Nancy commands, already standing and moving towards the center of the kitchen.

Sighing, Sara sends me a look before doing as Nancy says.

Shrugging out of her sweater, I take the item from her, carefully folding it and trying to resist the urge to wrap myself up in it. I've missed Sara so much these past weeks, having her so close yet still out of reach is nearly maddening on my senses.

Lifting Sara's t-shirt, Nancy makes a face as she takes in the sight before her. Glancing over, I grimace as well.

"Sara, you pulled nearly all your stitches," Nancy tells her, gently probing the gash along her side with her fingers.

"It's fine," Sara tells her, assessing the injury with her own eyes as well.

Nancy quirks her brow, shooting Sara a look.

"Are my organs going to fall out of it if it doesn't get re-stitched?" Sara asks her in response to her look.

"No, but-"

"Then it's fine," Sara cuts her off.

Shaking her head, Nancy rolls her eyes. "Fabulous litmus test you got there."

Hearing them badger each other would normally annoy the crap out of me, but hearing it right now is exceedingly reassuring. It's a reminder of the way things used to be for us, before ruses about infidelity, before revelations of drug abuse, before suicides and life support machines.

It's a glimpse of the life, of the relationships, that we used to have with each other, and, perhaps, may someday have again.

Perhaps.

"Hold this," Nancy directs Sara, pushing the hem of her shirt into her hand so that Sara is holding her shirt up.

Moving further into the house, Nancy disappears out of sight.

Quirking a brow, Sara and I exchange a look. I desperately try to keep my eyes on hers, try to keep them from wandering down her exposed torso.

I want to reach out to her so badly, to take her in my arms and feel her body with my hands. The body that I used to know so intimately.

The body that now holds new scars from events that ripped us so very far apart.

"You okay?" Sara asks me quietly, searching my eyes.

"Yeah," I tell her, trying to snap out of my thoughts. "Just thinking."

"You sure?" she questions.

"I'm sure," I tell her, offering her an appreciative smile, while at the same time hating myself for the fact that she's standing bloodied and injured in front of me and yet she's the one asking me if I'm alright. "Thanks."

Nodding, Sara watches me a moment more before her gaze is drawn back to Nancy as she reenters the room.

Pulling out a number of alcohol wipes from her first aid bag, Nancy tosses the wrappers on the counter.

"This is going to hurt," she warns Sara. "A lot."

Sara nods, not looking all that concerned.

When my sister makes contact, however, Sara's body tenses, which in turn causes her legs to stiffen and nearly give out on her.

"Woah," Nancy calls, grabbing for Sara the same time I do.

"Shit," Sara curses, shifting her weight to her good leg and trying to regain her balance.

Holding her from behind, I'm reluctant to let go, not sure of how steady Sara is on her feet right now with everything she's been through.

"Keep holding her tight," Nancy directs me, shaking her head darkly at Sara when it looks like she is about to protest about her ability to stand on her own.

Nodding, I keep my grip on her firm, ignoring the feel of our bodies pressed so closely together.

Reaching forward, Nancy resumes cleaning Sara's gash, and I hold her securely against me as I feel her body tense when the alcohol makes contact with the open and torn skin.

Sara doesn't say a word about being in pain, but the stiff tension in her body gives her completely away.

"Almost done," Nancy calls, perhaps also sensing Sara's discomfort.

Reaching over, she grabs a bottle of liquid sutures, applying it efficiently to the edges of the torn skin.

"Alright," Nancy says, standing and carefully helping Sara readjust her shirt.

"You okay?" I ask Sara, not wanting to let go until I know she isn't going to drop to the floor the moment I do so.

"Yeah," she tells me. "I'm good."

I think 'good' is being much too generous to describe her current condition right now, but I slowly remove my hold on her, watching as she thankfully remains upright.

A bit unsteady, but upright.

"Why don't you go ahead and grab a shower, get some of that blood off of you?" Nancy suggests. "Those sutures are waterproof, so don't worry about getting them wet."

Sara nods, looking grateful for the opportunity to gather her bearings.

"I'll find you some fresh clothes," I offer, already heading towards Nancy's guest room where I have stashed most of my stuff.

I hear Nancy directing Sara to the shower, and the bathroom door closing a minute or so later.

Coming back out into the living room, Nancy and I look at each other a moment before we both sigh.

"I…she…" I start, but quickly trail off when I have no words to follow. Shaking my head, I pinch the bridge of my nose.

"I know," Nancy tells me simply.

"She's not okay," I tell her, keeping my voice low. "Physically, mentally. She can put up a good front, but she's not okay."

"I know," Nancy replies again.

"I just…" I trail off, shaking my head.

Stepping forward, Nancy draws me into her arms, both of us needing the support right now.

"She's always been the one holding us together," I tell my sister quietly. "She deserves the same support she's always given us."

"She does," Nancy agrees. "But she has to let us, Catherine. You can't force her to accept our help or let us in if she's not willing."

I sigh, closing my eyes against Nancy's shoulder.

"I know, but I wish to hell I could."

I feel Nancy laugh, "I've thought that since the moment I met her."

Letting out a smile of my own, I pull away from Nancy after one final squeeze.

"Thank you," I tell her sincerely. "I don't know how I would do this without you."

"She's my friend, you're my sister," she offers simply as explanation.

Hearing the shower shut off, we both separate, taking deep breaths and straightening out our clothing.

"I'm going to sleep out here tonight," Nancy tells me quietly. "In case either of you need anything."

Nodding, I sigh. "I'm going to try to stay with her in your room, if she'll let me."

Nancy sends me a supportive look, not commenting further as we hear the bathroom door open.


"Hey," Sara offers, moving into the room. "I put your clothes in the hamper."

"Thanks," Nancy tells her, eyes moving to Sara's exposed arms, no longer covered with the bandages they were before.

Clenching her jaw, I can tell Nancy is trying hard not to comment, not to react to what is now revealed to her.

The ligature marks. The gashes along the inside of her forearm that form an "L".

Clearing my throat, I step forward and move to clean up our coffee mugs from the kitchen.

"You can have Nancy's room with me tonight, Sara," I tell her casually, rinsing the mugs in the sink. "There's a ton of junk in the guess room."

I don't have the heart to mention that actually my belongings are currently in the guest room from when I moved out of our house. From when I left her.

"I can take the couch," Sara immediately offers. "Or stay somewhere…"

Finally, Nancy breaks her position.

"No," she tells Sara bluntly. "You're staying here."

Sara doesn't comment, eyes moving between Nancy and myself.

No one says anything for a bit, until Sara takes a breath.

"Fine. And I actually have a favor to ask…"

Immediately, Nancy and I are giving her our full attention.

"I need to head into the station tomorrow morning to give Brass my statement. But I don't really have a car right now…"

I furrow my brows.

"Couldn't he have given you some more time?" I question. "Seems a bit soon…"

Shaking her head, Sara moves and reaches out to dry the mugs now sitting on the counter.

"I spoke with him earlier. Offered to come in."

I know Sara, and so I suspect her 'offering' was much more likely her requesting. Sara isn't one to sit around very well, and I can see her putting the pressure on Brass to get everything out of the way so she can return to work as soon as possible.

I don't even know what to think about the idea of her back at work.

All I know is that it scares me to death.

Sara needs to take time to deal with everything that's happened, to try to rush her recovery is only asking for disaster down the line.

"I can take you," I immediately offer, knowing I will use the opportunity to speak with Brass myself while we are there.

"Thanks."

"We can pick up Mesa from Doc Robbins while we're at it," I offer, knowing Sara has been anxious to have him back.

"Okay," she says with a relieved smile, placing the mugs back up in the cabinet.

When I turn, Nancy is still watching Sara's back, her eyes narrowed and tense.

Shaking my head at her, I send her a silent message not to comment about what she's seeing right now marring Sara's arms. That there will be plenty of time for that later.

She clenches her jaw, but nods in understanding of my message to her.

"I'll go get some sheets for the beds," Nancy says, leaving the room before anyone can comment.

Sara follows her silently with her eyes as she leaves.


Watching the ceiling and listening to the ticking of the clock, I cast another glance at Sara's back.

I know she's awake, and I highly suspect she knows that I'm awake as well.

We've been laying here for nearly two hours now, both of us lost in thought, both of us pretending to be asleep.

"Thank you," Sara suddenly says quietly, her voice cutting through the darkness and nearly making me jump.

Turning, I watch her back.

I don't dare touch her.

"For what?" I ask softly.

"For letting me be alone today."

I close my eyes before opening them again.

"Did it help?"

"Yes," she responds sincerely.

Finally turning, she positions herself on her back so that she can watch the shadows move across the ceiling.

"Whether he could hear me or not, I was able to talk to him, Catherine," she tells me. "I was able say all the things I always wanted to say to him."

She takes a breath, "And, when the time came, I was able to say goodbye."

I take a breath of my own, watching her profile in the darkness.

I had assumed all this time that Liam being put on life support was the worst thing that could have happened. Now, hearing her, I am wondering if perhaps it allowed her the chance to have some closure she otherwise would not have had if he'd died instantly in front of her that day.

"He wasn't a bad person," she whispers. "Not always."

I remain silent, not feeling like I knew Liam well enough to comment. What I did know of him, the way that he chose to deal with his situation, the way he chose to force his problems onto Sara, I must admit that I wasn't particularly fond of him.

But, I cannot presume to know what he was like before his family forced such darkness into his world. What he was like when he and Sara were younger, siblings who perhaps looked out for each other in a house that held nothing but pain and violence. What he was like as a man struggling to accept what he had done, what he had been all but forced to do to those that he had loved.

"I wish I had gotten a chance to get to know him," I tell her sincerely.

Looking over, Sara meets my eyes before moving them back up to the ceiling without comment.

"I'm going to have to arrange his burial," she tells me quietly. "I'm going to have to go back to California."

She tightens her hold on the sheet around her waist.

"When I do," she starts, her body tense, "If you're able or willing, I think I would like for you to be there."

Closing my eyes with emotion at her statement, at her request and her decision to voice it in spite of everything that went on between us, I find it hard to speak.

"Of course," I get out, feeling tears make their way from my eyes to land silently on the pillow below. "Of course, Sara."

Nodding, she quietly turns back around, clearly fighting her own emotions.

For the rest of the night, we lay in silent darkness, pretending to fall victim to a sleep that never comes.


AN: Thanks for reading.