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CHAPTER 26
CATHERINE POV
"As all life begins, so must all life come to an end…"
Reaching over, I take Sara's hand in mine, twining our fingers together as the words of the clergyman push through the wind of the gathering storm.
"Our lives are but a brief glint in time, only a few steps towards our true destination…"
Watching Sara's profile, I tighten my hold on her hand as she continues to stare motionlessly at the marble wall, eyes fixed on her brother's name etched into the stone.
"In the end of days we shall all be reunited, our burdens lifted and our souls at rest…"
Skin pale against the black of her clothing, Sara doesn't even blink as thunder clasps in the distance.
"May the universe look fondly upon our brother, Liam. May he find respite, may he find peace."
Closing his book, the clergyman raises his eyes towards the gathering darkness just as the first few drops of rain begin to fall from the sky.
Glancing at Sara, he stands silently for a moment, eyes moving to mine when Sara's gaze does not waver from the wall.
Sending me a nod, I nod as well, watching as he gives Sara one last look before heading through the blowing grass and leaves towards the shelter of the church below.
Pushing my hair from my face, I grip Sara's arm, holding tightly to her as I feel the temperature shift as the storm is all but upon us.
"You should get inside," Sara says, her voice quiet as her eyes remain transfixed on the wall.
I don't answer, refusing to leave her side.
Hearing a loud crash of thunder, Sara finally breaks her tense gaze, her eyes moving to mine.
"You should get inside, Catherine," she repeats. "Before it starts to pour."
Reaching out, I smooth her hair away from her face, even though the wind grabs hold of it again as soon as I let go.
"What about you?" I ask, cursing myself for not having even thought to bring an umbrella this morning when we left.
"I'll be fine," she tells me, squeezing my hand. "I just need a minute or two and I'll be in."
Taking a deep breath, I glance towards the carved wooden box laid at the foot of the wall, the box that Sara will now take so that she can finish laying Liam to rest.
"You sure?" I ask her, raising my voice so that it can be heard above the wind.
Nodding, Sara sends me the barest hint of a smile, "I'm sure, Catherine. Now get inside before you get soaked."
Reaching out, I squeeze her arm before pulling away.
"I'll be right inside waiting for you," I tell her.
Sara nods, watching me until I turn and make my way towards the church just as the slow drops start to turn into a gale.
Pulling the glass door open, I turn around to watch Sara pick up the box, tracing Liam's name at the wall before she turns away, making her way up the hill and out of sight.
CATHERINE POV
Moving to our seats near the far fireplace, I immediately sense that things in this town have shifted.
Feeling nearly a dozen pairs of eyes on my back as I lower myself into my chair, I glance over at Sara who is keeping her own eyes fixed straight ahead of her.
Jaw tight, she places the keys on the table, silently taking the seat across from me, her back to the wall.
"Here," I tell her, passing over my mostly dry coat. "Put this on."
Eyes still tense, Sara seems to not hear me.
"Sar," I call, watching as her eyes finally shift to mine.
"Sorry, what?" she asks.
"Put this on," I repeat, handing her my jacket.
"You sure?" she asks me, hesitantly taking the item. "I'm going to get it all wet."
"Yes, I'm sure. Please put it on," I tell her. "You're making me cold just looking at you."
Raising a brow, Sara does as she's asked, pulling on my coat and rolling up the sleeves slightly so that their inadequate length is not so apparent.
"Thanks."
I nod, watching as her eyes drift back out towards the other booths behind me.
"We can go," I offer. "We can order something to eat back in our rooms."
"No," Sara says, expression tense, but determined. "This was bound to happen at some point."
I shake my head.
"But it shouldn't," I get out. "People need to mind their own fucking business."
Clearing her throat, our waitress steps up to our table.
"Coffee?" she asks with a raised brow, eyes traveling everywhere but near Sara.
"Please," I answer for the both of us.
"Not sure which approach I like better," Sara says, watching the waitress as she retreats back towards the kitchen. "The ones who can't stop staring at me, or the ones who refuse to even glance my way."
"Neither," I tell her. "They're both rude as hell."
Sending me a slight smile, Sara shakes her head before growing serious again.
"We can go," she offers to me this time. "You shouldn't have to sit here and be stared at just because you're here with me."
Reaching out, I take her hand in mine, rubbing her cold fingers to try to give her some warmth.
"Let the fuckers stare."
Letting out the first genuine smile I've seen Sara give in a long time, she watches me silently for a moment before the waitress returns with our coffees.
Ordering our food and eating in companionable silence, I smile a large smile of my own when we get up to leave.
Sitting on the edge of the table is our receipt, and I see Sara has not only paid with her credit card, but signed the bill in large, clear letters.
Sara Caelum Sidle.
CATHERINE POV
"How're you holding up?" my sister asks me, voice slightly garbled for a moment as she readjusts the phone.
"I don't know," I tell her honestly. "Ask me again in five minutes, I'm sure the answer will change by then anyway."
"Yeah?" she questions, voice concerned.
"Yeah," I admit. "I feel like some moments I'm fine, but then the next moment I literally feel like I am about to cry or scream or something of the sort."
I hear Nancy sigh.
"I wish I could be there for you," she tells me softly. "I hate just sitting here, doing nothing to help."
"You're helping," I counter. "You've been helping this whole time. You're helping talking to me right now."
"I guess."
She doesn't sound entirely convinced.
"How's Sara?" Nancy asks, voice so quiet I barely hear her over the line.
Now it's my turn to sigh.
"That's the only answer I need," Nancy says.
"I don't know what to do about her," I tell my sister seriously. "She's trying so hard to convince the world, probably herself included, that's she's fine."
"Is it working?" Nancy asks.
"Sometimes," I admit. "Sometimes when we're together she's so stoic and collected that I almost forget what she's going through. She's the same steady Sara she's always been."
I hear my sister sigh again.
"I don't know why, Cath, but her seemingly well adjusted reaction to all of this is making me more nervous than if she were falling off the deep end right now."
I nod even though she can't see me.
"Me too," I breathe out.
There's a pause.
"Is she eating?" Nancy asks.
I know Sara's weight has always been a point of concern for Nancy, who's always felt that Sara was too thin. I can only imagine what seeing Sara in her current state has been doing to my sister.
"Yes," I answer.
There's another pause.
"But…" Nancy leads me, voice indicating she knows there's more I'm not saying.
I sigh.
"But she can't keep anything down."
My sister curses. "Shit. How long?"
"Since Liam."
"She needs to get food in her," my sister warns, voice tight.
"I know," I tell her. "Trust me."
"When's your flight home?" Nancy asks.
"Tomorrow morning."
"I'll see what I can think of," she promises.
"Alright," I breathe out, hearing the water from the shower shut off. "I should go, Nancy, but I'll see you soon."
"Okay, love you," Nancy tells me. "See you tomorrow."
Hanging up, I sigh, placing my phone in my pocket and taking a deep breath.
"You okay?" Sara asks me, throwing her towel over the chair.
"Yeah," I answer. "Just talking with Nancy."
Sara nods slowly, still watching me.
"Everything alright?"
Damn her perceptiveness, I inwardly curse. Even now, it feels like her eyes are looking right through me.
"Yeah," I tell her. "Nancy just misses us."
It's honest, even if it's not really the whole truth.
Sara watches me further.
"Okay," she finally states after a few moments of silence, not convinced but respecting my wish to not talk about what's really bothering me.
Straightening out the hem of her t-shirt, Sara runs a hand through her damp hair.
"Catherine," she says softly, body tensing as she forces her eyes to meet mine. "I wanted to thank you for coming here with me. I know it hasn't been an easy trip for you."
Raising a brow, I shake my head.
"Sara, of course I would come," I tell her. "And don't worry about how this trip was for me, sweetheart. It's you that I'm worried about."
Sara shakes her head, "I know."
I can't help the smile that pulls at my lips.
"Have I been that obvious?"
"Yes," Sara tells me, a ghost of a smile gracing her own features.
Taking a breath, Sara's eyes grow troubled.
"Catherine, I don't want you to feel obligated for things like this," she tells me quietly. "Because of what we had together."
"Sara," I warn her. "Don't."
She swallows, eyes searching mine. "I'm serious, Cath."
"I know you are," I counter. "And so am I."
Watching me, Sara shakes her head.
"Cather-"
"No," I cut her off. "You're right, Sara. Things between us are complicated. I honestly don't know what the hell to consider our relationship right now. Are we friends? Are we more than that? Are we less than that?"
I shrug, stepping slightly closer to her.
"I haven't the faintest idea in hell," I tell her seriously. "But what I do know is that I care about you. That I will always care about you."
Closing another few inches of distance between us, I stop.
"And I won't let you keep trying to give me a way out, Sara," I tell her sternly. "Because I don't want one."
Eyes watching me, Sara's jaw tightens.
She shakes her head darkly but remains silent.
"What?" I question, watching her closely. "Say what you want to say, Sara."
Shaking her head again, Sara turns.
"No," I call her back, reaching out to pull her back around. "Don't keep walking away."
Clenching her jaw, Sara's eyes are tense as they meet my own.
"Say it," I demand.
"You act differently," Sara finally says, voice tight. "You treat me differently."
Shaking my head in confusion, I stare at her blankly in return.
"What are you talking about?"
"The last time we spoke before everything with Liam," she tells me tensely. "You asked me to let you hate me."
She shakes her head.
"Then my brother comes into the picture, tells you some sob stories from our past, and now you're saying you care about me, that you want to be here for me."
Her eyes burn into my own.
"You can't find it in you to be upset with the girl who was raped and abused," Sara forces out. "And I'm telling you that's bullshit."
"Don't," I warn her darkly. "You know that's not how I feel."
"Isn't it?" Sara counters. "You tell me you hate me, and then later that day my brother tells you he and my father fucked me as a little girl, and so now you suddenly-"
Sara's words are cut off sharply as I feel my hand slap her across the face.
"Stop," I growl at her, hand stinging from the contact.
Head forced to the side by the strike, she slowly shifts her gaze back towards mine, her eyes dark.
"Don't you dare refer to what happened to you like that," I force out. "Don't you dare, Sara."
Shaking her head, she clenches her hands.
"I'm just being honest," she counters. "You say you hate me, you find out I snorted lines of narcotics off our fucking porch, and yet now you've treated me like nothing ever happened, all because Liam told you some crap about how daddy used to like to-"
"Stop!" I seethe at her, grabbing her by the front of her shirt and pushing her back into the wall. "Stop it, Sara!"
Body tense under my fists, I feel Sara drag in one ragged breath after another, her body literally shaking beneath my hands.
"Stop it," I breathe out, shaking my head at her. "Jesus, Sara."
Eyes smoldering, Sara finally looks away, turning her head to the side.
"You need to stop doing this, Sara," I warn her tightly.
"You need to stop trying to push me away."
Sara doesn't respond, her gaze firmly directed elsewhere.
"You heard me last night," I state with understanding. "You heard what I said to you while you were asleep."
Sara's body continues to shake beneath my hands, jaw clenching and unclenching tightly.
"You heard me tell you I still loved you."
Sara doesn't say a word, but she doesn't have to.
"Sara," I tell her sternly. "I meant what I said, and it had absolutely nothing to do with Liam, with your past."
Watching her, I wish she would let me see her eyes.
"It had to do with us. With you. The person I loved before all this. The person I still love after it."
I watch her profile, feel her trembling body, hear the seconds literally ticking by in silence.
"Say something," I beg her. "Please, Sara, say something."
More silence greets me, until I finally see Sara lower her head slightly.
"Please let go of me," she gets out, voice nearly a whisper.
Immediately, my hands leave her.
Taking a step away from her, I watch Sara straighten slightly, moving away from the wall.
"I'm sorry," she tells me, still not meeting my eyes.
"Sara," I plead, knowing instinctively what is about to happen.
"I'm sorry," she repeats, stepping away and leaving the room before I can think of a single thing to do or say to stop her.
CATHERINE POV
Tossing another shell into the crashing waves, I keep replaying my earlier altercation with Sara over and over again in my head.
It was so unexpected, so out of the blue, and I find myself still feeling off balance from it.
I know I probably should feel relieved about Sara finally expressing some emotion amidst everything that has happened, but I actually feel more nervous than I did before.
Something about the situation just didn't feel right.
Tossing another shell, I watch the sun as it starts to set against the horizon, bathing the sky in brilliant shades of orange.
I know the things Sara said were probably rooted somewhat in truth, but it felt different than her just expressing her frustration or her trying to push me away after hearing my admission that I still love her.
If that's what it was, then why wait until now to say something?
No, it's like she was trying to push me away from her not only emotionally, but physically as well. To be sure that, this evening, she would have time alone.
But why?
To do what?
Almost immediately, the answer comes to me.
Fucking hell.
I should have seen this coming.
Scrambling up through the sand, I break away at a sprint, trying to think of the fastest way to get myself to 1310 Rockhaven Drive.
AN: Thanks for reading.
