The next morning, Anna rose early and dressed for her run. She'd dreamed the night before, as usual, but it wasn't as intense. It seemed that her memories lost their power simply because someone knew. More importantly, Lorne knew. He had not stayed with her for very long, and she understood that. He needed time to absorb this new revelation. But, with the little time that he had taken out just for her, he succeeded in reassuring her of his friendship.
She arrived at the lookout before he even appeared, and that suited her just fine. She spent the time enjoying the wind in her face, allowing it to cleanse the night's terror from her mind. Why had she delayed for so long? She should have known that Lorne, at least, wouldn't hold another's actions against her, even if that "other person" was technically her body. Anna shook her head. The concept of being held prisoner in one's own body still sent her mind for a loop. Sometimes, the implications of being taken by a Goa'uld confused the most intelligent people.
Evan appeared, and she offered him a smile. Today, he wore the same t-shirt and jogging pants as any other day, but his knowledge made him seem more attractive. Or is it the fact that I know he knows? Anna wondered. She didn't care.
He stopped beside her and turned his eyes to the sunrise. "How are you?"
"Good." She grinned when he glanced at her. "I know I have issues, and I know they still need to be worked out. But, after yesterday, I'm doing okay."
"They really treated you that badly on Earth?"
"Not General O'Neill or anyone in any position of power." Anna sobered. "But my colleagues never looked at me the same. And you've seen how I'm treated here. As far as those scientists I worked with on Earth are concerned, I have a scarlet letter that I can't get rid of."
"Nathaniel Hawthorne," he mused. "Sometimes, I wonder if he was trying to expose sin or the double standard others in the town had toward the woman."
Anna glanced at him suddenly. "You've read the book?"
"My mom teaches college." He glanced at her. "You haven't?"
"No. I've always just known what the scarlet letter meant." She grinned. "You learn something new every day. Tell me. What was The Scarlet Letter about?"
"Basically, a woman guilty of adultery is forced to wear the letter 'A' across her breast for as long as she lived." He shrugged. "The townspeople keep reminding her of the letter and its reasons by shunning her and her child. In the end, her actions bring her respect. She eventually reveals who her lover was, but she also did a lot of good works as well."
"Well, that's how I feel." Anna straightened, getting ready to run.
Lorne had other ideas, however. "I thought about something last night." His voice took on a softer, serious tone. "You're a musician, right?"
"Yeah."
"I don't know if you've ever written anything. But have you ever thought about writing a musical score to what happened to you?" He shrugged. "A sort of journal, for lack of a better way to describe it."
She stilled. "Who would want to listen to something like that?"
"Does it matter?" He turned back the way he came and motioned for her to follow him. "Let me show you something."
As they walked back toward the crew quarters, Anna watched the people around them. Atlantis was stirring, and people prepared for their day. Several Marines gave them a curious look, but no one approached. No one really seemed to care. At his quarters, Lorne opened the door and invited her in.
Anna would have stood in the door and stared if not for the eyes she imagined on the back of her head. Instead, she stepped to the side and allowed the door to close. Lorne's quarters were as far from what she'd pictured as could be. She always thought he'd live with rigid military precision and have everything in its place. While the tops of the desk, dresser, and bedside tables exhibited that military precision, the rest of the room wasn't so neat. An easel stood near the window, draped in a thick white cloth. Paints scattered the surface of a small table next to it, and brushes had been lined up from largest to smallest. Several cloths, all paint-stained, were draped over the corners of the table. And canvasses. . . . Anna felt her jaw drop. Canvasses of various sizes leaned against the walls. It would have appeared cluttered if she had not been able to discern the method he used. Only a few blank canvasses remained. The rest were stacked neatly by size.
She turned to him and pointed at the paintings. "May I?"
"Be my guest." Lorne watched as she began carefully going through the paintings he'd finished. While time wasn't something he had in abundance, he still managed to complete a few. Most of them weren't anything to write home about, but he kept them nonetheless. Perhaps, some day, they would inspire him to paint something else.
Suddenly, he appreciated how nervous Anna must have been when he asked her to play the piano. In seeing his work, she was also seeing him. He wasn't sure she would understand that, but he knew he put more emotion into painting than just about anything else.
"Oh." Her soft voice pulled him from his thoughts. She crouched beside the largest of his paintings, admiring one of Atlantis' sunset. It had been a particularly rough day, and he had returned from an off-world mission early due to an injury on the team. As a result of his irritation, the sunset boasted more reds and oranges cutting sharply into the lavenders of the evening. Not necessarily an exact representation of the sunset, but his view of it. Painting that one had soothed the irritation and helped clear his head.
Anna finally rose after staring at the painting for a long time. She met his eyes, her gaze slightly unfocused as she tried to take in everything around her. "I had no idea you were an artist."
He grinned. "My mom teaches art at her local college. She just happened to force me to read a few classics along the way."
"These are amazing!" Anna turned around to stare at the sunset again, and Lorne made a quick decision.
"You can take that one with you, if you like."
"What?" Her head came up suddenly. "No. I really can't."
"Why?" He held out his hands. "This is what I'm talking about. I don't paint because of who will look at it or who will want it. I paint because it's what I do to escape. To relax. Here on Atlantis, we have all kinds of nightmare-inducing encounters, and we have them every day. All of us have to find some way to put that to rest. For you, it's music. For me, it's painting. Art has many forms, but it's healing, no matter which form you choose."
She stopped to think about that. "I never thought about music as art." She shrugged. "It's all about counting and patterns to me. A whole note gets four beats, a half note gets two, and so on. Then, when those are arranged in the right order, a melody appears. There's room for creativity, but nothing like this." She motioned to the paintings around her.
"Art isn't just about painting or drawing." He stepped over to the sunset and set it aside, intending to take it to her room when she left. "It's about expression. A person's medium changes based on what they love. You love music, and that is your medium. I use color and paint. Another person dances. Someone else writes. All of it is art even if it takes a different form."
"And he's a poet, too," she said with a grin.
Lorne returned the grin even as he glanced at the clock. It was time to prepare for the day. "Think about what I said. About the musical score."
"I will." Her grin widened as he carried the painting to the door.
"We can get this hung up somewhere in your room later, if you like."
"Maybe." Anna let him follow her, and he saw the thoughtfulness that descended on her face. While they hadn't run, their talk seemed to have helped her. Maybe she would think about his suggestion. Even if she didn't share the music with anyone, it would be an outlet that she needed.
Later that evening, after a day spent doing next to nothing, Lorne found his way to the lookout point yet again. He had checked in with Ronon and found the guy doing fantastically well. Slightly sore from his encounter, but nothing else wrong. Anna's healing device did the trick nicely. Content that the world was mostly right, he set up his easel and focused on his painting.
That morning, Anna had not asked to see the piece he'd kept draped, and he was grateful. He didn't think he was ready to reveal just how deeply he felt about her. Not yet. She needed time to heal, and he needed time to absorb the impact of her experiences. Out of all the women on Atlantis, he'd fallen for the one with the greatest hurt he could imagine. He also needed to come to grips with the fact that a woman was now in his life. Early in his military career, he met and nearly proposed to a woman stationed on the same base. Just before he popped the question, her husband showed up. Lorne had stepped back gracefully, requested a transfer, and went to war. At that time, he decided that his military career was enough for him. Anna had changed his mind.
All these thoughts, and more, flickered through his mind as he painted. The light he set up behind him didn't dim the horizon, though it cast a shadow that was interesting. By the time he added the last touches of paint to the canvas, he smiled. This painting would remain his secret for a while. The image of Anna as she played the "Moonlight Sonata" had struck him so strongly that he spent a good portion of that night committing her likeness to the canvass. Now, it glowed in the moonlight of New Lantea's two moons, the darkness of her hair highlighted by the moons' rays, and her eyes sparkling as they had sparkled when she played the piano. He almost wished he could find a way to infuse the music with the paint, but he refused to add a piano to the scene. Just Anna's profile and shoulders before the ethereal appearance of the two moons. Satisfied, he added his signature to the bottom of the page in a pale blue he'd used for parts of the moon. His painting, "Moonlit Sonata," was complete.
SGA SGA SGA SGA
True to his word, Evan stopped by after Anna's duty shift ended. She had just finished changing out of her uniform when he arrived. Now, she stared at the sunset scene hung opposite her bed. The painting spoke to her like no other picture had. The angry reds and oranges of a long, difficult day slowly surrendered to the tranquility and coolness of the encroaching night. It really was a brilliant piece of art, and she was honored that Evan had given it to her. Honored and humbled at the same time. They didn't speak much while he worked, but they said enough. The silence that had characterized the beginning of their relationship-was only a couple weeks ago?-returned with a comfort that came from knowing the other person. Anna understood that she'd seen a side of Evan that very few people on Atlantis knew existed. The artist hiding beneath the soldier intrigued her.
Anna looked around her room and grinned. She could put her piano below the painting and facing the window. That way, she'd see the painting when she awoke, and it would be behind her as she played. She liked the idea.
An entry request sounded as she arranged her piano below the painting, and she frowned. She wasn't expecting any company, and she had not heard from Teyla concerning their fighting lessons. Moving to open the door, Anna blinked when Ronon stood outside.
He straightened. "Hey."
"Hi." She tried to smile at his inscrutable look. "Nice to see you up and around."
"Yeah, um, about that?" He stepped back to allow her to leave her quarters. "Thanks."
"You're welcome." She fell into step as they strolled along the corridor. "What happened out there?"
Ronon looked at her sharply, seeming to see if she could handle the truth. "I don't know. They just started firing. Sheppard thinks there's something more to it than us trespassing, and he sent another team back to investigate."
"I hope they're okay."
"Yeah."
As they walked, Anna tried to find something to discuss that didn't revolve around work on Atlantis. She failed miserably. As Ronon escorted her back to her room, she realized something. She liked him, just as she liked Sheppard and McKay. But he didn't cause that wonderful feeling in the pit of her stomach that Lorne stirred. She watched him go, slightly confused. Just when had Lorne become more than a good friend? And what would she do about Ronon, if what Teyla said was true?
~TBC~
Author's Note: I don't remember the show ever naming the new planet that Atlantis moved to. So I decided to call it New Lantea. If this is wrong, just let me know. And I decided to reveal Lorne's artwork a little differently than I normally do. Most times, I would have a character find him while he was painting, much like Beckett did in "Sunday." But, it worked better this way for this story. It also gave the characters a chance to talk about a pretty serious subject without all the emotion of the previous chapter. Hope you liked it as well. As always, review and let me know what you think. ~lg
