Abby was whining for sleep, trying to lie down on the couch as Gibbs peeled her coat off of her. "Need to get into warm clothes. Can't do this on my own."
Without responding Abby peeled off the thin shirt that she was wearing and threw it to the living room floor listlessly.
Gibbs ignored the fact that she was now almost topless in front of him, and worked on getting her to remove the freezing pants. "Abbs, I have some sweats here for you, but you need to get the rest of your clothes off. Can you do that?"
Abby nodded tiredly, struggling to keep her eyes open. She moved her hands across her belt buckle, trying desperately to undo it, but without much success. Gibbs set her hands aside and began undressing her himself, feeling her unnaturally cold skin against his hand as he brushed her stomach while unbuttoning her black jeans. He tugged on the bottoms of the pants, bringing them to the floor and revealing the lacy black, skull-covered panties she wore underneath. Had he not been so focused on getting her warm, he would have chuckled at the expected design on her underwear.
"Abbs, need you to take off your bra and panties. I'll hold up some clothes and help you get into them."
Once again, without saying anything, Abby nodded and began to unhook her bra while Gibbs readied his red hoodie for her to tug over her head. Slowly Abby was re-dressed in a pair of new panties Gibbs found in her bag, along with some of her own pajama pants paired with his hoodie, which seemed warmer than any shirt she had brought with her. Satisfied that her outfit was warm enough, Gibbs let her lie down on the couch as he ran upstairs to grab several blankets from the hall closet where he kept the few linens he owned.
Within moments he was back downstairs, wrapping Abby in the three blankets he'd found on the shelf. "Abbs…?" Gibbs sat on the edge of the couch, "Are you warm enough?"
"Warm?" Abby muttered from her sleep. "Mmm… Gibbs warm."
Gibbs sighed at her state, wondering if he should have canceled after all. If she never had come… But then she would have been alone and might have tried to come over in the bad weather anyway. Gibbs had failed her. And if this was how he failed her when she didn't know how he felt, how badly would he fail her if she did know how he felt?
Abby woke a couple of hours later, around ten. The house was silent.
"Gibbs?"
"Yeah, Abbs."
She realized he was sitting in the chair next to her, camouflaged by the darkness. He stood and walked to the couch, sitting on the edge by her feet. "How do you feel?"
"Okay. A little tired." Embarrassed. Heartbroken. Abby sighed inwardly, trying to take on so much at once with her waking.
"You should eat something. I have soup." Gibbs was halfway across the room before Abby could think to respond.
"Gibbs, I don't want any soup."
He turned to look over at her, "You need something warm in you."
Abby opened her mouth to say something, but closed it quickly. Couldn't say things like that anymore. She decided to ask for something else instead. "Do you have hot chocolate?"
Gibbs nodded and disappeared into the kitchen.
While he was gone she sat and tried to wrap her mind around what had happened that evening. Her only options now were to either quit NCIS and cease contact with Gibbs forever, try to talk to him about it and make it better, or pretend like it never happened. She doubted she'd be able to cease contact with Gibbs, so that was out. Trying to talk to him would be tricky. Gibbs said very little as it was, so to get him to open up about anything that could be conceived as intimate would be harder than getting all of the team to attend a marathon metal concert with her – with all of them dressed up in goth clothes, no less. But could she go back to ignoring everything? Knowing that he knew everyday? Risking the chance that he would never again kiss her on the cheek or forehead?
"Here." Gibbs appeared and handed her a mug. "Careful, it's hot."
Abby held it cautiously by its handle, careful not to touch her fingers against the edge. "Thanks." She blew on the hot chocolate and sipped it slowly. "So are we planning on talking about it?"
Gibbs sat back in the chair he'd been in when she awoke. "There something to talk about?"
"I don't know. You tell me." Abby was too tired to go back and forth for too long, and she didn't feel much like carrying this conversation. For once, he was going to do it.
"Just said a professional tone is needed." Gibbs hoped she would leave it at that, preferring to keep any confrontation or problems under the surface. He didn't want to shove her away and cause her to hate him, but he also didn't want to start something with her that would also cause her to hate him, but for different reasons.
"We both know it's more than that, Gibbs." Abby pulled her knees to her chest underneath the blanket, still sipping the hot drink as she closed her eyes to keep from crying again.
"I don't know what to tell you, Abbs."
"Tell me…" Abby paused. That you love me, that you were wrong, that you're an idiot? What did she want to hear? What did she expect to hear? Instead of answering, she sighed, deeply frustrated with herself for ever starting any of it.
"I can tell you that it's not a good idea. That I'm trouble, and that I'm a bastard." Gibbs' voice was steady in his usual impervious-to-all-feelings way.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Abby snapped her eyes open and stared at him. "This is about me wanting something I can never have." She thought about what he'd said. "It is about me wanting something I can never have, isn't it?"
Gibbs didn't answer her, he simply looked right at her, his eyes narrowed slightly as he considered what to tell her.
"Gibbs…?" Abby prodded him on.
He stood once more, leaned over to kiss her forehead and began to walk towards the basement.
Abby's mind reeled as she processed what was happening, and suddenly, either from their fight, or from her exhaustion, or both, she turned quickly on the couch to face his back as it walked away from her. "No! Don't you go down there to hide! Answer me!" She'd had enough. Something was going to be decided tonight. Even if that meant the absolute destruction of her friendship with the man she loved.
Gibbs turned back around to face her, standing still in the spot as he thought through the possible consequences of each answer he could give her. "It's not about you wanting something you can't have, Abbs. It's about me wanting something I shouldn't have."
I know; I'm a mean, mean person. I have to decide what I want to happen here - whether something would get through to Gibbs so quickly, or if it would need a little longer to simmer with him. Either way she did ask Santa for Gibbs for CHRISTMAS so it has to happen soon... just maybe not on Christmas Eve. :)
