"Whatever is done for love

occurs beyond good and evil. "

Friedrich Nietzsche.

The day was over, and they had a crew again, the same crew Gaheris had recruited in his own time to help rebuild the shattered universe...

But the universe was not the only thing that had been shattered by the tragic events that had transpired in 300 years...

His best friend's heart had been shattered, much like his own...

After their new crew departed to their newly-assigned quarters, Dylan had gone his own way... to be alone with his pain.

Gaheris silently entered the OBS deck in search of his best friend.

He had seen the tears in Dylan's eyes earlier, tears he had tried to hide... but although Dylan was not weeping now, just from the way he was standing, leaning dejectedly against the sill, staring at the stars without seeing their beauty, Gaheris knew he was in pain... And he understood what Dylan was feeling.

Gaheris knew what it was like to stand in the ashes, having seen everything you believed in fall apart... your whole universe torn from you. Gaheris knew Dylan had lost everything: his friends, his family, his fiancé, even in a sense, his own life and time, only to wake up and find himself in a dismal future of chaos and despair.

It had been shocking for him too, the realization of the darkness that had enveloped the universe, coupled with the death of his best friend, and the loss of his family had left deep wounds in his soul that would never heal, but in time he had gotten used to the constant pain.

What had hurt the most, of course, was his own pain and guilt for what he had done... He could still see Dylan's death by his hand as clearly as the fateful moment it happened, those memories had been burned eternally into his soul, they haunted his dreams each night and tormented his broken heart each waking moment... He could still feel the deep scars of his two year trail of tears.

Somehow it made him feel better, the knowledge that he had gone to sacrifice everything - his life, his friendships, his reputation, his chance at ever having a family again... to save Dylan, to give his friend a final gift of love... and it had almost turned out perfect: This time he had ensured that Dylan had survived unharmed, this time he had let Dylan win ...but he had survived too.

He very nearly had died, the wound itself would have killed most Nietzscheans, but somehow he had survived.

A second chance? The future unknown... what hurt now was that Dylan did not know - and could not know the truth.

Dylan had hid well enough his emotions when he had introduced himself and Gaheris to their new crew, but to Gaheris who had known him for years, he could see a burning torrent of anger and bitterness in Dylan's eyes when he looked at him, and it hurt more than imaginable. It hurt him because he loved Dylan and the emotions of anger and betrayal in Dylan's eyes tore deep into his own soul, the unbearable pain they caused further magnified because he knew Dylan was hurting, and he felt responsible.

Gaheris had fallen still, unsure if this was a good idea. In a sense, Dylan's pain was very much because of him. Would it be best to talk to him now?

There were too many things to consider, too many powerful emotions and intense pain filling the hearts of both men for Gaheris to know if this was the best thing to do... but he could not just turn his back, he could not stand by and do nothing knowing that the person he loved the most was hurting.

Tentatively, he called his friend's name: "Dylan."

After an agonizing pause, Dylan replied wearily, not turning away from the stars: "Why are you here, Gaheris?"

His voice seemed tired, tired of life itself, tired of the pain.

Gaheris thought for a moment of his reply. In that moment he wanted to do nothing more than put his arms around Dylan, to dry his tears, to try to somehow ease his pain... to be for him the friend, the hope that Dylan had been for him. But Dylan did not want a friend right that moment... at least, not Gaheris... even if he needed him.

Keeping his voice as level as possible, Gaheris replied:

"To talk to you."

Dylan's reply was burning with pain and anger:

"You want to talk.

What is there to talk about! What do I have left?

Everyone I knew is gone: My folks, my friends, Sarah...

I lost everything, even time itself."

Gaheris replied softly, the memories of his own lost beloved family burning into his heart... his little children's brilliant smiles filling his mind... now separated from him by death... and 300 years:

"So did I. I also lost people I loved. I also lost everything."

What Dylan did not know is that he had lost everything... twice.

Dylan's response caught him off guard, as he spun around to face Gaheris, the fury in his words matching that in his eyes:

"Perhaps, but Nietzscheans don't love, remember!"

Gaheris had loved his family, he loved Dylan... he had known love in its purest form, only to have those he loved taken from him... one way or the other.

To hear those words from anyone he had known so long would have hurt deeply, but to hear them from Dylan, the person he loved more than anything, the person he would gladly give his life for, hurt more than he could bear, and they burned into his soul like fire.

All he could say in response, as he struggled to keep the sorrow out of his voice, was a barely audible:

"That's where you are wrong."

Dylan turned to face the window again. He knew he was wrong; Gaheris had explained to him before why that particular human bias towards Nietzscheans was a misconception. He knew he had hurt Gaheris deeply, but there was no way he could apologize right then.

When Dylan spoke again, he sounded weary once more:

"Things have changed since our time, Gaheris.

The Commonwealth had order, structure, peace, law...

Now there is nothing but chaos... Civilization is in ruins…

All because your people decided they could do better!"

Gaheris sighed:

"This was not how it was supposed to turn out..."

He went on, a hint of resolve in his voice:

"But the Commonwealth had it's flaws, Dylan.

Their fatal flaw was trusting the Magog, the Treaty of Antares...

Being politically correct at the expense of all the lives in three galaxies and beyond,

at the expense of telling the millions that fought and died, the billions of innocents that were slaughtered by the Magog that their deaths meant nothing."

Gaheris knew that the Nietzschean uprising had started for the right reasons, but it had gone wrong because some of his people made terrible mistakes. Nevertheless, he wanted Dylan to know why it had started, why he had done what he did.

Dylan spun around, exclaiming bitterly between clenched teeth:

"No. The Commonwealth's fatal mistake was trusting the Nietzscheans!... people who are genetically engineered to be selfish and treacherous!"

Dylan's words burned into Gaheris's soul like the plasma round that had torn into his chest earlier that day. He had seen the flaws in his 'perfect' people... but he knew only too well that Dylan was referring to him, and the pain it caused him was unimaginable.

Dylan's words caught his attention again, yet another dagger in his heart.

Now he could hear the bitterness clearly in Dylan's voice:

"My fatal mistake was that I trusted you."

Gaheris could not reply, the sheer agony crushing his soul in its cruel grip. In his mind he reminded himself: "Dylan does not know... he cannot know..." but it could not take away the unbearable pain that filled his soul.

He struggled to suppress his sorrow, as tears clouded his vision, trying desperately to force them back.

He had known he was sacrificing everything for a universe that would hate him as a traitor, and he could live with that... But to have the person he loved more than anything in the universe, the person he would sacrifice everything to save, hate him... was too much to bear.

Dylan turned back to the window, realizing that again he had hurt his friend deeply and said quietly:

"Just go, Gaheris."

Gaheris turned to leave, his hopes of ever finding love from the one he loved crushed...

His hopes of finding redemption for the one fateful mistake he had given everything to undo shattered...

He managed to bite out, failing to entirely hide the bitterness in his voice:

"As you wish."

As he approached the door, his eyes filled with tears, no point anymore in hiding them, because no-one would be there to see him weep... no-one cared.

Just then, Gaheris stopped in his tracks, his attention drawn by the sound of Dylan sobbing against the windowsill, and pulling his forcelance from its holster.

That made Gaheris freeze. He turned back to see Dylan, who in that moment seemed so broken down... and he could not help but fear: perhaps Dylan felt so alone and hurt that his own life meant nothing?

He had been there, two years ago... a lifetime ago... and now Gaheris knew he could not leave, not when Dylan was hurting so deeply. He had to stay, no matter how much it cost him.

Silently Gaheris moved back to Dylan's side, gently laying his right hand on his friend's shoulder, and calling his name, fully aware that the weapon Dylan was holding could easily be turned against him, given his current state of mind.

If that happened, although Gaheris was armed - and even wounded he still could win - he would not fight back...

Deep down inside he wished he had died back there at Hephaestus... because then he could still see the love and tenderness in Dylan's eyes... and in truth he wished it could have been the last sight he saw.

What Gaheris had not expected was Dylan slamming his left elbow into Gaheris's chest with all his unbridled Heavy-Worlder strength.

Gaheris barely suppressed a scream of pain as Dylan's elbow hit exactly where the plasma blast had, the force of the blow shattering the newly mended ribs that had been vaporized by the plasma, and striking against his wounded heart and lung, tearing them open again.

He was thrown backward through the air only to land on his side, where he reflexively wrapped his right arm around his wounded chest, trying to regulate his erratic heartbeat while he gasped for air, each ragged breath sending waves of blinding, paralyzing pain through his being.

The sound of a gasp that was almost a scream, and the crunch of several ribs snapping brought Dylan back to his senses. Suddenly reality came crashing back to him, breaking through the dark stormy sea of anger and pain that had engulfed his mind... the realization of what he had done driven home by the quiet pained gasps he could hear coming from Gaheris and the sight of his best friend laying on his side, convulsions of sheer agony shaking his body.

Dylan's heart was flooded with grief. He had nearly killed Gaheris today... then Gaheris had come to be there for him, to comfort him in what way he could, and he responded by breaking Gaheris's heart again and again, only to turn around and nearly kill him again... "What have I done"... echoed in Dylan's mind.

His words and actions in that moment had seemed justified... but nothing could tell his grief-filled heart and mind that they were right.

Shocked by his actions, Dylan dropped his weapon and rushed to Gaheris's side, helping Gaheris to sit up slightly, leaning on his left elbow.

Gathering his knees closer to him to help balance himself, Gaheris lifted his right hand from his chest, gently but firmly pushing Dylan back to arm's length and said quietly, shaking his head:

"Dylan, for what I did ... you have every right to hate me."

Dylan could hear, beneath the intense physical pain that showed in Gaheris's voice, and his attempt to hide his sorrow, the unbearable emotional and spiritual anguish Gaheris was suffering.

Knowing that Gaheris was hurting because of what he had said and done, broke Dylan's heart. He shook his head, as tears filled his eyes, and he said softly, his voice barely more than a whisper:

"I don't hate you, Gaheris."

Dylan met Gaheris's tear-filled gaze, his own blue eyes just as sad:

"... I cannot hate you, because no matter what has happened...I can never stop loving you."

Dylan's gaze wandered a bit:

"I'm just a bit confused. I am not sure what to believe in anymore..."

His eyes met Gaheris's once again as he whispered, choked by emotion:

"...But I can never hate you."

Dylan reached toward him once again and this time, Gaheris leaned into his embrace, a few of his own tears overflowing as he whispered:

"I'm so sorry"

Dylan responded, his own voice equally choked by tears:

"I'm sorry... sorry that I said the things I said...sorry I hurt you."

Gaheris's only words in response were a whispered:

"I love you Dylan."

Yet they said all that was needed... and all that words could never fully express... his infinite love, his forgiveness...

Gaheris held Dylan close for what seemed like an eternity, their tears mingling, seas of immeasurable pain bleeding out against each other's shoulders... but there were also tears of happiness, of hope... happiness that they still had each other, happiness that though their trust had to be rebuilt, their love had survived.

Dylan broke the silence, whispering:

"I am so sorry, Gaheris...

I was so caught up in my own pain that I forgot you have lost just as much..."

Dylan took a deep breath calming himself before going on:

"I am happy for one thing though... that you are here with me, that I'm not alone, because I still have you by my side."

Gaheris closed his eyes, tears streaming faster from them as memories of his life... his two-year trail of tears... flooded his mind... as memories of Dylan's death tore into his pained heart.

Finding his voice, Gaheris whispered:

"You cannot imagine how happy I am we're still together."

Gaheris smiled very slightly through his tears. He had not only been given the chance to atone for his tragic mistake... they had a second chance to be together... He had the chance to be with the person he loved more than anything in the universe... and had been taken from him forever.

Dylan pulled back very slightly, enough to look at his friend, and seeing his obvious tiredness and pain, said soothingly:

"Come on, let's get you to Med-Deck."

Gaheris replied quietly:

"No, I'll be OK..."

Gaheris met Dylan's gaze, whispering softly:

"Just please... stay with me."

He could hear the desperation and loneliness in his own voice, but he had lost Dylan once...by his own hand, Death had separated them and he had known that nothing would ever make things right...

Now by a miracle they were together again, the person he loved most right there in his arms, alive and well...

Their love still alive...surviving where everything else had been crushed by the Long Night.

Gaheris never wanted this moment to end.

The rest of the night found them sitting together, looking at the starry universe. Eventually Gaheris drifted off to sleep, leaning against Dylan's shoulder.

...

It would be a long hard path to restore order to the universe, to rebuild what had been destroyed - including their trust... but they had each other and neither of them had to walk that path alone.