The sun shone as brightly as it ever did on the Pridelands. Herbivores of various sizes and shapes grazed calmly on long grass in the plains and in the savannah, fully accepting of the fact they were all possibly mere moments from death. Pride Rock stood majestically in the horizon, its angular silhouette standing proudly against the rising orange sun.
This was made to seem all the more lovely from the outside view of the kingdom offered by the Outlands. The Outlands had no grass, nor animals to graze upon them. There was little food, and less water. Even the sun was less present, which contributed to the lack of foliage. The only lifeforms who were abundant there were incests, and not especially cuddly insects at that.
The Outlands are by no means a pleasant place to suddenly find oneself with two strangers, but this is precisely what happened to yet three more heroes.
The first was a tall, muscular man with long blond hair and a slight beard. He wore Nordic armour with a flowing red cape, and in one hand he easily carried an heavy-looking hammer. He whirled around upon arrival, scanning his surroundings. Then he hefted his hammer and scowled at the two others near him.
The main focus of his attention was a bipedal fox wearing a grey jacket and green trousers with a red scarf tied around his neck. A variety of technological items were clipped to his belt, but the first one he reached for was his blaster. He wore a headset comprised of thin metal bars which provided him a green glass pane covering his right eye.
Standing between the two others was a young man not yet out of his teens. His dark hair was pulled back into a warrior's haircut. He wore blue clothing which seemed more suited for colder climates, and his eyes were a similar hue. When faced with a large hammer and a futuristic blaster, he hurriedly pulled out his most advanced weapon; a boomerang.
"Okay," said the teen, masking his quite reasonable fear. "Let's just relax. I'm sure there's a perfectly scientific explanation for all of this."
"Seems more like magic to me," said the blond man. His accent matched his armour. "And dark magic indeed!"
"Either way," said the fox, quite calmly considering the situation, "I'd quite like an explanation."
"Who wants to lower their superior weaponry and talk things out?" asked the teen hopefully.
The fox's green eyes scanned him briefly. "I will if you two will."
"I shall trust your honour," said the blond darkly. "But know that if this is deceit, I will be very, very angry."
"Understood," squeaked the teen. Hammer, blaster and boomerang were all lowered at simultaneously slow rates.
"There, that's better. I'm Sokka, by the way," said the young man in blue.
"Fox McCloud, leader of the Starfox team," said the fox.
"And I am Thor Odinson, of Asgard," said blond man proudly, a smile creeping on to his face. "And if you do not recognize me, I've surely travelled far."
"I think we all have," agreed Sokka. "Where I come from, there are no talking space foxes."
"Are there not?" asked Thor. "What a strange world you have."
"Actually, we don't even have foxes."
Thor gave him a bewildered look. "And yet, you know what they are."
"Can we focus, please?" said Fox pointedly. "Usually if something like this happens, there's a reason behind it. Check your person for clues."
Thor checked the few places on his armour which served as pockets. He smiled at Fox. "You seem to be an old hand at this."
Fox shrugged. "You could say that."
Sokka fished a hand into a pocket, his tongue out, and hit something unusual. He pulled it out to see a piece of paper. "Hey, a note." Thor grabbed it from Sokka's hand, more from curiosity than spite. Fox in turn snatched it from Thor, who promptly took it back and held it above his head. Fox jumped to get it, and Thor grabbed his shoulder and forcibly grounded him. Thor then looked upwards and read vertically.
"There is a knave here by the name of Dr Insano," recounted Thor.
"What," Sokka said flatly.
"And we must best him in combat!" continued Thor, pleased with this instruction.
"Great," said Fox. "One question. Where is he?"
Thor shook his head. "It doesn't say. Merely somewhere... here."
They took a few moment to examine the vast African landscape.
"Whatever about finding this guy," said Sokka, as he kicked a termite off of his shoe, "can we at least go somewhere less insecty?"
"I second that motion," said Fox.
"Come! Let us waste no more time in searching for this 'Dr Insano'!" proclaimed Thor enthusiastically.
"Another day, another megalomaniac scientist," sighed Fox.
"It's coming together," Zeke grinned to himself, looking into the wiring of the engine room. "I'll get him in to test it soon enough."
He casually glanced out into the hallway leading into the engine room and saw a lioness standing in the doorway quietly. She greeted him and Zeke started.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm a talking lion," said Vitani irritably. "I'd rather skip that part. Which one of you is 'The Engineer'?"
The man in the yellow hard-hat turned around. "That would be me, ma'am."
"Dr McNinja would like a word with you."
Engineer shrugged. "Alrighty then. Hey Ratchet?"
"Yeah, sure, go ahead," came a voice from, as far as Vitani could tell, inside the ceiling.
"Lead on," gestured Engie. Vitani led him back through the corridors. They walked from the stern of the ship back towards the bow.
"What's this about, anyways?" asked The Engineer.
"Yesterday, the latest batch of people brought something called a Medigun. Thing is, they didn't bring the guy who had it, and we can't get it to work."
A look of realization dawned on the The Engineer. "Well, that explains what's gotten into Heavy."
Vitani gave him an expectant look, and Engie cleared his throat. "That gun was designed and owned by a team-mate, The Medic. The Medic and Heavy, they..."
Vitani waited for him to continue. When he didn't, it was her turn to realize something. "So, they... oh. Huh. Um, right. Well, that sucks. That the Medic's not here, I mean. Uh."
"I'm not going to comment on my personal thoughts on the matter," said the Engineer. "I just hope I can help y'all with the Medigun. I'm not sure I can fix up Medic's tech. Fella was crazier than a sacka ferrets."
"Well, Dr McNinja thinks you're the best hope for repairing it."
"Because I was his team-mate, right?" smiled Engie wanly.
"Uh... sure."
The hyena's snapping jaws were inches from Sokka's throat, held back only by his arm. Sokka grimaced, and with a great effort, he managed to kick the hyena off of him. The animal rolled and leaped at him, but Sokka brought his club down heavily on its skull in mid-air. The hyena muttered something in a Hispanic accent as it passed out.
Sokka stood there panting, and then yelled "You could have stepped in at any time you know!"
Thor patted his shoulder genially. "Yes, but you must learn to fight thine own battles. Besides which," added Thor with a smile, "while you got a good fight out of it, such a battle would be far too easy for myself."
"A good battle?!" exploded Sokka. "It nearly ripped my throat out!"
"Ah, but you didn't allow it," said Thor. "Therefore, you are proving yourself to be a formidable warrior."
Sokka slammed his palm onto his forehead, so hard that it left a mark. "Let's change the subject before I get angry enough to attack a god, because that's an outcome no-one wants. We should keep moving."
"Verily, but in which direction?" He raised his voice. "What can you see, Son of Cloud?"
Fox appeared over the lip of the huge, gnarled tree he had climbed. "Weird paintings," he reported.
"Of the landscape!" yelled Sokka irritatedly.
Fox considered this for a moment. "I'd say we head towards that giant rock. We've met more resistance as we've headed that way."
"So you want us to go get into more trouble?" asked Sokka dryly.
"Well, isn't that usually what happens as you approach the bad guy?" retorted Fox, jumping down to ground level.
"…Fair point, I guess."
"At the very least, the view from there should be helpful," concluded Fox, sliding down the trunk gracefully.
"And I'd wager most beautiful as well!" added Thor. "Very well. Onwards!"
Loki sat in the main room of the castle. With a few minor tools Dr Doom had begrudgingly loaned to him (after much ego-stroking on Loki's part), he was attaching the golden sword he had pulled out of Tai Lung to the remains of his staff. The two shades of gold clashed slightly, but such things happen. As he worked, he listened with an idle smile to the debate Tai Lung and Scar were having.
"No, but you see," Scar was saying, "my father ignored me for my entire childhood, and taught me nothing of kingship-"
"Which," rebutted Tai Lung, "is better than if you had spent every day of life training intently to become king, and only were snubbed at the last moment. Which is what happened to me."
Scar clicked his tongue. "I'm not sure. I mean, you got plenty of attention as a child. Encouragement, even."
"But it amounted to nothing!"
Loki, having successfully grafted the two pieces together, made to stab an imaginary person in the chest. He accidentally hit off a wall, and the metal dented slightly, eliciting a frown from the god.
"But anyway," muttered Tai Lung, "if nothing else, I can still beat you in a fight."
"Yes, you can. Because your father figure spent years training you! I win."
Tai Lung glared at Scar. "He didn't train me to be a tricksy snake."
Scar treated Tai Lung to an oily grin. "My dear friend, you think I was trained in this art? It's innate, I assure you. Isn't that right, Loki?"
"Hmm? Oh, yes, it is. Excuse me," said Loki, standing up. "I think I need something a little stronger than a blowtorch to mend this. I'll be back shortly."
Scar shrugged. "By all means."
Loki took his now-pointier staff and began to ascend the staircase, as the two cats resumed their argument. Loki quickly arrived at a thick wooden door on the highest floor, and knocked politely with the blunter end of his staff.
Azula opened it, and gave Loki an empty smile. "Yes?"
Loki's smile was more convincing, although equally forced. "Hello there. May I speak to Maleficent?"
Azula gave a short sigh and stepped away, gesturing for him to come inside. Loki entered and saw the sorceress lounging on a spiked throne, intently reading the inside cover of the Death Note.
"'The human whose name is written in this note shall die'," she was reading aloud, softly. "Humph. How restrictive."
Azula rolled her eyes and coughed. Maleficent glanced up, and her eyes fixed on Loki. "What is it?"
Loki gave a sheepish nod to his weapon. "I was repairing my staff with what little material I have on hand-"
Maleficent nodded understandingly. "And gold is a terrible idea."
"Quite..."
Maleficent flicked her wrist and the staff flew to her gently. Loki went to grab it, but he made himself relax. Maleficent ran her hand over the new segment. Her palm softly glowed green, and the blade seemed to strengthen. "There," she said. "That should rectify any problem you have with it."
"My thanks," said Loki, bowing his head. He waited for Maleficent to return it, but she held on to it, examining it.
"It's an unusual metal, gold," she noted. "Very weak by itself. But an excellent vessel for magic. Some of the finest weapons are golden swords which are infused with a magical essence."
"Interesting. But to be frank, discussion of weapons very much depends on what side of the sharp end you're on," joked Loki.
Maleficent smiled thinly. "Yes, it does. Here." She floated the staff back to him, and he took it. "It was a pleasure to help you. But spread the word that the next person to disturb my reading will find themselves spread thinly across the dungeon walls."
Loki's smile didn't waver. "But of course. Again, my thanks. Most kind of you."
Azula showed him out with a limited degree of grace. Loki descended the stairs to rejoin the discussion downstairs, stabbing several imaginary SHIELD agents as he went.
##
Azula clicked the door shut and turned back to Maleficent. The dark fairy was reading a rule about claiming ownership of the Death Note with particular interest. When Azula addressed her in order to get her attention, Maleficent glared up at her.
"What now?" she snapped. "Did you mishear what I just said?"
"I didn't," replied Azula, her smile thin, "but I'd just like to have your opinion on that plan I mentioned to you. You know, before you get too engrossed in your reading again."
Maleficent sighed haughtily and lowered the notebook. "Yes. I do like the idea. At least we'll be able to get some use out of him... As I've said, run it by those tricksters downstairs. And be sure to inform everyone else. Doom will construct the device you need, if he is indeed as technologically gifted as he constantly claims. And of course, don't let him know."
"Please," smirked Azula. "I may be young, but this is far from my first deception."
Atop Pride Rock, a man was hunched over some machinery, giggling. His eyes were obscured by thick goggles with a swirl pattern on the eyes. He wore a simple labcoat over medical scrubs, and his hair was long and brown. Around him, the pride of lions who made their home here were scattered haphazardly, unconscious or dying.
"You know, I never was much of a fan of the Lion King," he noted to one lioness who was failing to comprehend the strange man's words. His high-pitched, nasally voice suited his appearance well. "Don't get me wrong, it's a good movie, the soundtrack's nice, etcetera etcetera. It's just, you know, a little... - what's the word? Grounded? - for my tastes. The biggest thing that happens in it is the stampede, and everything else is just animals beating the everloving crap out of each other. And while that's all well and good for some light entertainment, I usually enjoy my films to be a bit grander in scope. Which is why I'm doing this! Nyehahahahah!"
Below, the three heroes stood at the bottom of the majestic stone structure, squinting their eyes to make out the white figure up on the promontory.
"What is he doing?" asked Fox, shielding his eyes against the sun.
"Whatever it is, I will end it quickly," replied Thor. He began to swing his hammer in a wide circle.
Insano heard them speak and peered down at them. "My, is that the Odinson?" he murmured. Then, he giggled manically. "Good thing I brought this then!" He picked up a cylindrical device. He flicked on a switch at the bottom and turned its dial to the maximum.
Thor released Mjolnir in an upwards direction. It flew, thrown by his strength, and to Sokka's shock, Thor followed it, attached at the wrist. He shot up towards Insano.
Suddenly, he lost velocity, as though his hammer had become mundane. He fell back the distance he had flown and landed heavily, slamming one palm on the ground.
"Ha! Not so tough without your magic, are you, Asgardian?" taunted Insano from above.
Thor lifted his palm to see blood had been drawn. The small cut didn't heal immediately as it should have. "What devilry is this?" he bellowed.
"My patented Anti-Magic Field Generator!" replied Insano. "Say goodbye to your flight and healing!"
Sokka blinked slowly. "I'll... be sceptical of that later. Right now, we have to stop him!"
"Agreed," said Fox. He ran up the slope towards Insano, moving at great speed.
Sokka drew his boomerang. "Stay there, Your Electricness," he said to Thor, following Fox. Thor scowled and wiped the blood on to his cape.
Fox quickly arrived at Insano's location, trying to ignore the unfortunate residents of Pride Rock who were scattered around, moaning in pain. "What is all this?" said Fox, pointing to the machinery littered around.
"Oh, nothing much," giggled Insano, his fingers twitching. "Just a little experiment in neurogeology. I'm seeing if I can bring this giant rock to life so that it'll be my lumbering, unholy assistant and will crush you for me!"
"What?!" yelled Sokka, who had caught up. "That's completely insane!"
"Well they don't call me Dr Mentally Well-Adjustedo, now do they?!" spat back Insano condescendingly.
"Enough! Eat boomerang, Crazy Science Man!" exclaimed Sokka, throwing said weapon.
"That's Doctor Crazy Science Man to you!" corrected Insano. He produced a small plastic claw from his coat and caught the boomerang mid-flight.
Fox shrugged, and then shot Insano in the chest with his blaster. The Scientist stumbled back a few steps, snarled, and produced his own ray gun, returning fire.
"Sokka!" said Fox, ducking. "Go get the Anti-magic thing!"
Sokka ran ahead to the pile of Insano's equipment, picking out which device he needed. It was for the most part a gray cylinder, with a few dangling, brightly coloured pieces hanging off. At the bottom was a base, which bore a switch and a dial. A few lights dotted its surface, all of which were on.
As Sokka struggled to determine how to disable it, Insano noticed him. "Hey!" he yelled. "You want that, it's going to cost you $99.95!" He took his aim off of Fox and fired a blast at Sokka.
It's common courtesy in these situations, when you see an ally about to take a ranged projectile to the head, to throw yourself valiantly in the path of the bullet and take it for your team-mate. Fox did not do this for Sokka, but only because a better alternative was open to him thanks to technology. He clipped his Reflector off of his belt, activated it, and kicked it towards Sokka. The small white heptagonal device had a glowing blue centre, which sparked as it flew. Just as the blast neared it, the Reflector shot out a large, thin blue shield, which struck both Sokka and the blast. For Sokka, it felt like a slap to the face. For the blast, it was knocked back the exact direction it had come, and hit Insano in the chest, knocking him to the ground.
Sokka blinked, as though awakened. "Ohhh," he said with an air of realization. "I should just smash it." He produced his club and beat the device soundly until it flickered off. "Thanks, Fox!"
"No problem. You know, I would have just flicked the switch," the pilot replied, inexplicably catching his Reflector.
"Eh," replied Sokka. "Whatever works."
"I suppose..."
"Spinny Hammer Lightning Man!" yelled Sokka.
"Thor," corrected Fox in deadpan.
"Thor!" yelled Sokka. "Come on up!"
Insano groaned and lifted himself up. He looked up to see Thor hovering above him, swinging his hammer. Thunder boomed in the sky above them.
"What did you say of being 'tough'... Midgardian?" he asked, eyes narrowed.
"Ohhhhhh balls," swore Insano slowly.
##
Meta Knight stood on the Halberd's bridge, silently regarding the sand which filled the view of the main window. HK-47 stood to his left, and Clank to his right. Deadpool and his makeshift desk were behind him to the left, despite his protestations.
"We must somehow remove the ship from the sand," he mused. "But how?"
Before anyone could reply, Thor, Fox and Sokka appeared on the bridge. The latter still held Insano's Anti-Magic Field Generator. The three looked around the bridge curiously.
Meta Knight sighed wearily. "Does this happen every day?" he asked.
"Yep!" said Deadpool. "Exact same spot and everything, too. It's uncanny."
"Sokkaaaa!" came a voice from the door. Sokka turned just in time to see an orange blur before Aang caught him in a hug.
"It's great to see you!" he yelled. "There are tons of really cool people here! How was your place?"
"There were hyenas," said Sokka unsteadily, "and lions, and I saw a god kill a crazy Scientist with lightning." He pointed to the AMFG. "I'm going to put this down somewhere, and then I'm going to go scream at the sky."
"Okay," said Aang. "Oh, by the way, Ty Lee's here too."
Sokka thought for a moment. "I think I'll just start screaming at the sky now then."
I scream at the sky when people read new chapters without reviewing them.
This chapter is dedicated to GeminiGemelo, whose FF .net account will be one year old tomorrow. If you haven't read her stuff yet, go do so. I haven't the words to describe how fantastic it is. Happy Twiniversary!
