Oh ho ho! I dunno. Your fat. HA!

The thing about seeing Oliver with booze literally poured down his throat was that it was so incredibley rare that it was scary. Seriously. His cheeks were pink and his eyes only half open, his mouth hanging a little ajar while he wobbled around the cramped cabin hiccuping and lecturing furniture on the importance of bathroom sinks. I was determindly staying at least semi-sober so I could help him when he most likely got sick later. But thirteen people in a cabin with a maximum capacity of eight didn't give us a lot of room to avoide the splashing poisons and some even found it's way to Pip's mouth.

"Mace, can I talk to you?"

I looked down from taking a swig of beer and grinned at Stan who was looking rather shy and uncomfortable.

"Sure," I said glancing over to where Kyle was unconciously climbing all over Cartman.

We squeezed though our friends and burst out. It was dark by now and people could be seen around fires or trying to start them without our help.

"'Sup?" I asked casually, turning to the black clad boy beside me.

"W-well," he said shifting on his feet. "I- I do like Kyle, but... I'm not sure I want to be with him."

I stared at him. Hadn't someone said he'd confessed to Kyle first? I couldn't quite remember seeing as I was slightly drunk. But didn't that mean he'd wanted to go out? I wasn't sure, actually. I'd never been a serious relationship.

"What?" I asked, making sure I hadn't heard wrong.

"I don't think I want to be dating Kyle," he confirmed, looking guilty.

"Why?" I asked increduously, pretty sure that was what happened when two people liked each other.

"I don't know," he said heavily plopping down against a support for our cabin on the side and shoving his face in his hands. "I just feel really uncomfortable with it."

"Maybe it's 'cause it's your first gay relationship?" I suggested taking a seat next to him.

"I don't think so," he said with a sigh. "Ke-"

He head snapped towards me, seaching for whether I knew what he was about to say. Any other time I probably would have been able to figure it out, but right now there was the dound of something being shoved against the wall from inside and I glanced upwards. There was a moan from someone I couldn't identify but Stan tensed. I began to wonder if he'd had any booze at all.

"So what're you gunna do?" I asked. "Tell him or just put up with it?"

"I dunno!" he groaned. "It's not fair to him if I don't, but I don't want him to think I don't like him."

"Sorry, Stan, but I don't know either," I said shaking my head. "I've never been in a serious relationship, much less a gay one."

"Really?" he asked seeming surprised.

"Yeah, why?" I said causiously. "Do I look gay to you?"

"No, no," he said quickly. "You just seem like someone who'd get a lot of chicks to me, that's all."

"Oh, yeah, well, I live in an absolute hic town where the girls are sort of..." I said, thinking, "not my type, I guess. No ones really caught my eye."

"Sounds like Kyle," he snickered, and I raised an eyebrow. "He's never been interested in girls that much."

"That's because he's gay, though," I said, intending to end that train of thought there. But Stan persisted.

"Yeah, but he didn't know that unil I few days ago," he said, grinning. "What if you're really gay?"

I looked at him, a little taken aback. "What?"

He shrugged. "You could be."

"Yeah, I know, but I doubt it," I said, honestly having never thought about it dispite most of my real friends ending up gay.

"Oh, hey, who were you talking about when you said someone wanted a kiss from me?" he asked after a while of sitting in silence.

"Huh?" I asked, looking back at him. "Oh, that. No one, really. I just sort of said it."

"Oh," said Stan, looking a little disappointed.

"Sorry?" I mused.

He rolled his eyes and pushed my shoulder. I laughed.

The door squeeked open and I saw Kenny dragging Butters away out of the cornor of my eye.

"Kenny's requirements for his fuck buddies are too low for him to be messing with Butters," said Stan angrily.

"We'll see," I said smilng. I personally thought Kenny liked Butters far too much to hurt him with something like that. "Actually, maybe you should ask him for advise on Kyle."

"As good as Kenny's advise is, I prefer to avoid it if I can for... reasons," he said annoyed.

I shurgged. "Well, either way, I can't help you," I said standing up. "I'm goin' back inside to make sure Olivr hasn't passed out and gotten trampled on."

"Ah, Mace!" he said, grabbing my wrist. I turned back to look at him curiously. His face was red and he seemed unable to speak.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Y-yeah," he said releasing me. "Nevermind."

My gaze lingered on him for a moment more before I walked around the front of the cabin and up the steps. I pushed open the door and examined the scene in front of me. Oliver looked woozy and I shoved a trash can, which he accepted and emptied his shomache into a moment later. Token had passed out on Damien's bunk, Clyde flailed all over him. Two pairs of black and blond haired boys were making out. Damien had Pip sinking in a chair, stradling him, and Craig was crushing Tweek on the floor. All this was to be expected. What I han't expected was for Cartman to be sucking and biting at Kyle's neck, one hand slipping up his shirt and the other fiddling unsucesfully with hs belt.

I stared as Kyle bit his lip to keep from squealing in pleasure, his slender fingers digging into the larger boy's arms to keep himself from slipping to the floor. It was just plain wrong on so many levels. I reached forward and yanked Kyle away as Cartman finally got his belt strap out of the buckle.

"Ay!" he slurred stumbling forward while Kyle batted loosely at my arm. "Wha za fuh you do'n, bish?"

"Cartman, get the fuck out," I ordered, knowing he'd do no such thing.

I pushed Kyle into a chair and yanked the drunken fat ass to the door and shoved him out, slamming the door shut. I looked at the jew flailing about in the chair and sighed. He hadn't meant to. He was drunk. Still, Stan would be crushed. I decided to keep it a secret. Neither Cartman or Kyle would remember, and no one else had noticed as far as I knew. Looking around I realized no one was goingto be able to get back to their cabins. I sighed again and opened the door. Cartman had gone, and I walked around to where Stan was sitting, looking miserable.

"Hey," I said, and he looked up, almost hopefully. "I think we're all crashing in our cabin tonight. C'mon."

He nodded and followed me back inside.

Dear Jesus,

If all gay people go to hell, then it must me pretty fucking fabulous by now, so can I go there, please?

Love, Pocket

XDDDDDDDDD Seriouslah. Like gays are gunna just sit there for eternity without giving it a fierce makeover. -nod nod- X3

Anyway, I was craving MAN so there it is... I have this sneaky feeling that I'll be PMing a certain MT Yami soon with the beginning of the next chapter... do you guys remember what she's doing for me? HUH?! Fufufu.

Some Kyman in there. I think it's the first to show up, and may be the last, I'm afraid. I dunno if the secret will ever be spilled.

Also, my daddy's all for letting me use his websitey software stuff for SPBBLA, only he was me to figure it out since he forgot how. Xo Oh well! But, yeah, if anyone has mad skills, I'm in need of a banner that says SPBBLA and has the boys hanging around it in all chibi fashion for the top of the pages. If no one posseses mad skills, but has the magical ability to talk to madly skilled SP fanartists on DA or whatever who they think would like to join, please, ask them if they would. It doesn't need to be fabulous and no one should spend a lot of time on it, it's just I epicly fail evey time I try to draw one... X3I also might need the buttons drawn... Still waiting for responses from omg.u.killed.kenny and frizzy.writings on being in the council.

There was something else... god DAMN me and my forgetfulness! Oh well. Likes? Dislikes? GORE-MAY chocolate? Like... STUFF?! FLAMES?! All are loved!

Next chapter up soon! 3333333

EDIT: If you're reading this while there are no more chapters then you are not one of the first 121 people to read this chapter. Therefore, when I tell you to go back and read this again in the next chapter, don't. You've already read what I edited in there. Thanks, loveys!