Pain.

He's been alone for months now, abandoned by Drama with his television show and Turtle with school and Eric with his other clients. Johnny's been in the condo for a couple years now, and Turtle spent most the past year shacked up with Jamie across town. Vince only sees E these day's at Ari's office for business meetings, reminding him once again that he's basically living in the huge mansion all alone. He could deal with all of that as long as he had these moments, the stolen hours behind closed doors when Eric let his guard down enough to relax and Vince opened his heart enough to admit that maybe he could fall in love. Vince had counted on these moments since Eric had showed up in Los Angeles seven years ago, but now he wasn't sure what he was going to count on anymore.

It's only when Eric says "Sloan said yes" that Vince really believes that it's over for good. The other guys had seen it coming from a mile away, but Vince had held onto the vain hope that Eric would finally choose him and they could really be together. He knew all the reasons why not, how it was bad for his career and why Eric's mom would never understand. He got all the problems other people could have with what they had, but he had never fully comprehended why E couldn't give into it. He didn't seem to mind when he was under Vince, their bodies moving in perfect harmony as one. He was fine with the fleeting looks across the breakfast table and stolen kisses in elevators and the occasional hook-up in a club bathroom. All of those things were fine because they were on E's timetable, by his rules. It was only when Vince deviated from the plan and decided that this was something more than Eric started to have a problem.

"So this is it then," Vince says softly into the dark, his voice barely audible as he turns over on his side to face Eric. He can't see his best friend's face, but he knows he's there. He knows that E can hear the tears in his voice and that there are probably a few spilling out of his beautiful blue eyes,too. "You're really going to marry her? After all of this, after what we just did, you are still going to marry Sloan."

E's long exhale is the only answer Vince needs. "It's not like you and I can just be out and proud, Vin," Eric finally answers, his words coming out more like an excuse than an actual reply. Vince rolls away from in a huff, but Eric seeks him out a moment later. He presses himself against Vince's back, his short arms coming around Vince's longer ones so that their hands are clasped on his stomach. "Sloan loves me. My mom loves her, the guys love her. I love her."

"You love me," Vince shoots back. Eric can't argue because they both know it's true. He had loved Vince in one way or another since they were six years old, and no matter how old they got, that is the one thing that would never change. "You love her as a friend, but you are in love with me. You don't just do what we just did and not have it mean anything, E. I know you better than that. You wouldn't have risked everything with me one last time if there wasn't something worth fighting for here. You don't have to go through with this. You have other options. I'm your other option."

Vince sounds so weak and vulnerable that it breaks Eric's heart all over again. "If only it were that easy, Vince, you know that I would pick you," Eric retorts softly. His breath tickles the back of Vince's neck as he lays a gentle kiss at his nape. "I would always pick you. But you have a career that we have both worked very hard for you to have. This is what you wanted more than anything, and I will not take that away by being selfish now. You deserve to be a star, Vince. God knows that you've been the only one in my sky for most of my life. I just think that this is something that we have to do."

He's angry now. He could listen to Eric justify this if it were for his own reasons, but he's not about to let him pin this on Vince. "No, no way, not even," Vince argues, turning around in Eric's arms so that they are nearly nose to nose. "This is what I wanted more than anything, not some life that doesn't matter if I don't have you in it. You are the most selfless man I know, E. You give and give and give. I've always been the selfish one, and maybe this is my chance to do right by you. The honorable thing would be to step aside and let Sloan have you. But I can't, I won't. You belong to me just like I belong to you."

"You're just making this harder than it has to be," Eric says weakly. Vince's forehead is pressed to his now, his tears falling onto Eric's cheek as they both cling tightly to each other. Vince has never been this way with anyone in his entire life. He can't imagine ever feeling this much about anything else. "Fuck, Vin. This was supposed to make everything easier. I thought if I asked Sloan then it'd make it easier to walk away."

"And what? I would just stand up as your best man while the love of my life marries another woman," Vince laughs humorlessly. "I can't do that, E. Maybe if I thought that Sloan was what you really wanted, I could swallow my own want and need and wish you well. But she's not what you want, man, not even close. I'm not just what you want, I'm what you need. I have been since that night you showed up at my house in the first grade, begging to spend the night so that you didn't have to listen to your parents fight anymore. I took care of you that night, and I will take care of you for the rest of our lives if you will just let me. Say you'll let me, E, say you will let me."

The desperation in Vince's voice is something that not even Eric has heard before. He thought he knew all of Vince's tones, but this was completely new. "Hey, it's okay," he hushes a crying Vince, running his fingers through dark curls the way he know Vince likes. Vince lets everyone think that E's the one that has always took care of him, but very few people know that their friendship really began the night E let Vince take care of him. "Of course I'll let you, Vince. I don't think I ever really had a choice."

"Yeah?" Vince murmurs before leaning up to kiss Eric soundly, letting his sadness and gratitude mix with a content sigh against his best friend's lips. "You're not going to leave me?" Eric shakes his head, brushing his nose against Vince's in the most intimate of ways. He can't imagine going through with it, not after this. Vince's career wasn't the only reason he had proposed to Sloan. She was his safety net, but it was possible that just maybe, Eric didn't need that anymore. "Because I fall apart every time you leave me, E. I don't want...I can't do this without you."

"Me neither, Vince," Eric admits before turning them so that he's flat on his back and Vince's head is against his chest. He reaches blindly for his cell phone on the nightstand while his other hand cards through Vince's hair. He dials the number from memory, pressing the speaker button before resting it on his chest next to Vince's cheek. Vince's foot rubs along Eric's instep as Sloan picks up on the other end, stilling E's breath for just a moment before he can react. "Hey, Sloan, I think we need to talk..."