We're finally getting somewhere…
The Files of Kazdan Kalinkas
Book One: Not By Choice
Chapter Fifteen: Friends
UnderWorld Rule #15: There are no friends, only enemies and allies.
"Kaz! Kaz, wake up!" H'earring's voice sliced into my half-nightmare, half-waking sleep world and yanked back into reality, "Come on, Kaz! I've got a surprise for you!"
"No…" I grumbled, putting a pillow on top of my head to drown out his words, "You got me in trouble yesterday…Chaor shocked me 'cause you ran off without telling him…"
There was a slight pause and then he started jumping up and down on top of me, "Get up! Get up! Get up! You've been asleep almost all day! Come on, Kaz, I worked real hard for this surprise!"
"Okay, I—ompff—I'm getting up! Just qui—ahhmm—quit jumping on me!" I shoved him off and he rolled to the floor, cat-calling. I scrambled out of bed after him, stumbled against the wall, and took a moment to stretch and yawn. I ran a hand through my tousled hair, knowing it was a mess and not caring as long as it was out of my face. Then I followed H'earring up the stairs, rubbing sleep from my eyes as I went.
I stopped dead in my tracks.
It couldn't be.
It just couldn't be!
I was dreaming, still asleep!
This couldn't be real!
But it was.
There they were, sitting on the floor around the smoldering fire pit. H'earring was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, grinning.
"Kaz…" Tom murmured, getting slowly to his feet. He looked different, a little taller than I remembered him, his face more defined.
"Tom?" His name came out in a breathless gasp of wonder as I stared at him, "Sarah? Peyton?" They all looked a little different, a little older. Sarah was more—and there was no other word for it—feminine and Peyton had definitely lost some weight, even though his brown hair was still scruffy, "Guys…?"
"We stared at each other for a while and then,
"KAZ!"
They barreled into me, all hugs and laughter, and I couldn't help but hug them back. It was like a beautifully happy dream. I didn't want to let them go, afraid that if I did, they'd fade away. But we did part, eventually, and when we did, I sat down and pulled H'earring into the biggest hug I had ever given him. He squirmed and I released him, saying,
"Thanks H'earring! I owe you a lifetime supply of pond scum! How did you do this!?"
"There are secret passages, tunnels, and caverns that go all over the place underneath the city and beyond," The little Creature said proudly, "But I'm the only one who knows them all! Even Chaor only knows about three of them!" He sniggered, "Ever since I heard that the Battalion have been chasing certain players out of the city, I've been digging a tunnel from your training room to connect with one that leads into the OverWorld, quite close to where Najarin lives. Cherri's been helping me. The only thing left to do was find your friends and that took more work than I thought." He grinned, "But I managed it!"
"And I can't thank you enough!" I hugged him again and he fidgeted in an embarrassed fashion. Then I turned back to my friends, "I can't believe this…it's really you! You have no idea how good it is to see you guys! Do you have any food?"
"Huh?"
"Food! You know, real food!" I looked between all three of them. I hadn't missed the backpacks they'd brought with them.
"Weeelllll…" Peyton looked upset but Sarah rolled her eyes, reached behind her, and grabbed her backpack. She opened it and shoved an armful of snacks into my lap. Tom and Peyton (after a slight hesitation) did the same.
"My gosh!" I cried, feeling positively ecstatic, "Junk food!" I tore open a bag of chips and grabbed a handful, shoving them into my mouth, "I never thought I'd want this stuff so much!"
Sarah laughed as I finished off the chips and started on a candy bar. I licked my lips and, candy still in one hand, popped open a bottle of cherry soda. It fizzed on my tongue and I sighed contentedly.
"A little piece of Heaven while I'm living here in Hell…" I muttered, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, "How long have you guys been here?"
"At least five minutes, my bro!" Peyton answered and made to swipe a bag of chips but I snatched it out of his reach, "We saw ya' sleepin' like a baby in that round little bed of yours!"
"You must have been pretty tired to fall asleep in that armor." Sarah said.
"What's with that armor, anyway?" Tom asked.
I looked around at H'earring, "You…didn't tell them?"
"I couldn't." H'earring looked away.
I was torn.
The words my friends needed to hear were clogged in my throat, making me set aside the second bag of chips I'd delved into. But they had to know. I had to tell them.
So I told them everything. I told them about going into the UnderWorld for a new scan, getting caught by Chaor, Ulmar fusing my with the IRA, how Chaor had made me kill that guard, how he'd then forced me into the training barracks, how I'd been forced to kill again—this time the unlucky Varris, and how I had no choice to keep on killing until I could find a way out. What I didn't tell them was the threat that Chaor held over my head; that if I disobeyed him, then they would suffer.
"It's you then…" Tom whispered in shock, eyes wide with disbelief and a hint of anger, "Everyone in the Port Court has been talking about a new Creature whose been offing other Creatures. That was…you…"
"Everyone's heard about Gespedan too." Peyton put in softly. I looked around at him wildly, inner pain and hate for myself making me feeling cold on the inside, "He's been out of commission, no one's seen him but we all know he's holed up in Kiru City, healing."
I sighed in relief, almost in tears I was so happy. At least he wasn't dead.
"They're calling you Ghost." Sarah said in an almost-whisper.
"Who?"
"Everyone. The players, the Creatures. Everybody."
"Everybody…" I muttered and took another gulp of soda. My eyes flickered up and met Tom's, "How…how're my parents?"
Tom paled and his face crumpled in sorrow, "They're…they're really…upset." I knew from his voice that it was an understatement. I also knew from the way he was fidgeting that he was avoiding them, "There's been no trace of you anywhere, obviously…" He swallowed thickly, fighting back tears, "But Kaz, I…now that I know for sure where you are…I…I really want to tell them! I want to tell them so badly it hurts!" He clenched his fists, arms trembling in his lap, and squeezed his eyes shut with a whimper.
My heart was pounding against my chest. My parents…I wanted to see them so badly.
"We have to find a way to get you out." Sarah said, almost to herself, "This isn't…you shouldn't be treated like this. It's wrong."
"I'll say." I grumbled, clenching a fist over a candy bar and snapping it in half. I looked blandly at the broken candy and then tossed the two halves to Peyton. He grinned at me and I forced a brief smile in return.
"I'll tell Maxxor!" Tom said, sounding like he'd just solved the answer to life, the universe, and everything else, "I'll tell Maxxor what Chaor's doing and then he'll come down here and set you free and—!"
"No!" They all looked at me, stunned by the volume of my voice, "No…if you tell Maxxor, Chaor'll know it was you and he'll know you've seen me and then…and then he'll…hurt you…" I ground my teeth together, trying not to cry, almost failing, "I'd rather fight more than know you guys were in danger."
Nobody said anything. I looked into the sputtering embers, feeling a heavy weight in my chest like I'd swallowed a ball of iron. I heard movement by the kitchen and looked up; Cherri was standing there, looking between us all. I turned away from her.
"Kaz…?" Tom. I couldn't look at him, couldn't let him see what I could do, couldn't let him see what Chaor had turned me into, "Kaz, come on, look at me."
"I can't…" I let the words out, I couldn't stop them, "You'll hate me. I'm a monster. I don't deserve to live."
"No you're not!" All of us looked at Peyton, astonished. He hardly ever got angry but here he was, fuming, obviously PO'd at me, "Don't ever say that! Who the heck gets to decide who lives and who dies! You're not a monster, Kazzer! You're our friend! And don't you forget it!"
I stared at him for a few seconds, swallowed, and smiled. An actual smile, "That's the nicest way anyone's kicked me back into shape since I've been here."
"So," H'earring clapped his hands together, "What's the plan?"
"Plan?" I asked, "What plan? Why're you asking?"
"Because I'm helping!" The little Creature said in a tone of voice that implied an unspoken "well, duh."
"Actually, there isn't a plan right now." Sarah answered, shrugging one shoulder. I, meanwhile, dove into another bag of chips. Sarah kept talking, "We didn't know what was going on until just now so—."
"Port back to Chaotic," I said, draining the last of the soda and setting aside the empty bottles, "And think up a plan there."
"No way!" Tom protested instantly, "We're staying here and we'll help you figure out how to—!"
"No!" I snapped and he sat back, stunned at the icy tone in my voice, "You can't stay here! You have to let your real-world selves know what's going on. And it's…not safe for you here. There's too much of a risk that some of the Battalion or even Chaor himself could find you here. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you guys." I looked at them pleadingly, "Please…please, go back to Chaotic for now. Please…I'm begging you…"
The three of them looked at one another and then back at me.
"Alright…" Sarah agreed in a quiet voice, "We'll go. For now."
"We're coming back tomorrow!" Tom stated defiantly.
"Wouldn't have it any other way," I said with a small smile, getting to my feet with the rest of them, "But, um, next time could you maybe bring some nachos or something?"
Peyton laughed.
It was a wonderful sounded.
I held onto it in my mind.
A string of happiness in a world blotted with hatred and pain.
They all scanned the training room basement before porting out; that way they could simply transport directly to H'earring's without going to the OverWorld and then walking down that long tunnel. H'earring and Cherri vanished into the tunnel to cave most of it in except for the part that opened into the training room. Then he showed me a nifty little trick.
"There's a plant here, see, that acts like a camouflage." He pointed to what looked like a regular rock wall to me but when I touched it, I found it to be smooth and light, "It's a vine that has wrapped across the whole entrance. The only way to know it's there is to touch it and the only way to see beyond it is to look!" He sniggered, "Just in case, you never know when you might want to hide."
I'd been ecstatic.
Meeting my friends after fourth months of "solitude" had been a spirit lifter.
I salvaged one of the soda bottles from Cherri before she could destroy any evidence of humans and set it on the little shelf in my room. Then I sat on my bed and looked at it for a long time.
I had a chance.
A chance to escape.
Even if we didn't have a plan yet, I knew we would eventually.
And then I'd get out.
And be free.
Free.
It almost seemed like a foreign concept.
I grinned and heaved a wonderful sigh of relief.
I hadn't felt this good in a long time.
I'd spoken too soon.
Early the next morning, I was woken by shouting from upstairs. Rubbing sleep from my eyes, I stumbled into the kitchen and found myself face to face with one of the Battalion. He growled at me. I growled right back.
"Chaor's got another mission for you."
I hated those words.
I hated Chaor's name. I'd flinch whenever I heard it.
But I clipped The Ripper around my waist, donned the Destiny Claw, and fastened my cloak at the base of my neck. Then, with a nod to H'earring and Cherri, I left to follow the two soldiers into the lightening streets of the sleepy UnderWorld City.
I met with Chaor alone; no Agitos, no Takinom. I felt, at the time, that it was a good thing, that I didn't have to worry about their stink-eyes boring down on me. Thinking back, maybe it would have been better had they been there. Maybe their presence would have given me more incentive to keep my mouth shut.
"What do you want now?" Strike one. I was undermining his authority by being sarcastic and acting superior, even if I didn't realize I was doing it.
"What do you think, Kazzy?"
Don't answer, don't answer, don't answer! My mind screamed.
"A double quarter-pounder."
"You're stupid, Kaz. Reeeaaaallll stupid." The voice was back. It had become an on-off thing; before and after missions it would mock and torment me but was perfectly quiet while I was on the prowl. I hated it.
Chaor's eyes narrowed at my response and before I could stop myself, I blurted out,
"You want fries with that?"
I made a quick hello with the floor, screaming and writhing as the punishing electricity fired through me. It left me gasping and sweaty as usual. My limbs shook as I pushed myself to my feet.
"You're being awfully unpleasant, Kaz." There was a warning in his voice that I almost missed. If I had, I probably would have been killed again. As luck would have it, I caught it.
"Sorry, I just don't like being woken up by a couple of big, ugly Creatures shouting at the one Creature who's been nice to me down here."
But just because I caught it didn't mean I knew how to use it.
Chaor lost his temper at me.
"Nice!? You're a worthless human!" He roared, on his feet in a second, flames exploding from his hands. I ducked and dropped to the floor as he flung them carelessly around the room, "You think this about you!? You think this about how you get treated! You serve me, Kaz! And don't ever forget it! You hear me! Don't forget it!"
I scrambled on all fours across the stone, panicking, as he launched fireball after fireball after me. I ducked behind a pillar to catch my breath. He was royally pissed at me and that was something of a first. Most of the time he just got annoyed.
The happiness of reuniting with my friends had made me careless.
Chunks of stone whizzed past me and one nicked my cheek, drawing a bloody, red line. I jumped out from behind my hiding place and rolled across the floor. I was about to run towards the exit when a fireball caught me in the back and sent me skidding across the stone, sparks popping in my wake as my armor screeched across the floor. I lay there, gasping with pain, half stunned, and fighting back tears.
"Why do you always have to open your big, fat mouth, Kaz?" I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to ignore the voice and get back up on my feet again, "If you just did what you were told—did what you were supposed to do—then none of this would be happening. But nooooooo, you have to be all noble and stand up to your master! You're a worthless dog! A stray that can't obey its master! And everyone hates you!"
I whimpered and clenched my fists. If all the trauma going on around me wasn't enough, that stupid voice was tearing me apart on the inside. That was another thing I didn't tell my friends about; the voice. If I'd mentioned it, they'd have gone into a panic.
A thud of heavy footsteps and a shadow fell over me. I forced my watering eyes open and looked up at Chaor. He seemed fifty times taller, a looming silhouette of dark anger and power.
"That's where you belong, Kaz, groveling on the floor!" He rumbled. I tried to get up but he slammed a foot on my back, making me shout in pain, and ground my stomach into the stone.
"S-stop it!" The words spilled out in a strangled gasp, "P-please…stop!"
"Apologize." He growled.
I sobbed but let no tears escape. Why did he have to hurt me!? Why had I ever considered him a friend!? When had I ever thought he was the greatest Creature in all of Perim!? I'd done everything I could for him! I had let him willingly use me as a spy on his enemies and his repayment was to bully me into a cold-blooded killer.
I hated him!
"Apologize!" He stamped his foot on my back and I choked, coughing.
"I'm sorry!" I screamed, wriggling to get out from underneath his crushing weight, "I'm sorry now let me up! Please! Please stop hurting me!"
Chaor relented and I climbed laboriously to my feet. My chest and back were throbbing with pain. If I could have, I probably would have been bruising. I rubbed a hand over my face, armor scraping my face, and tried to get my bearings. What a joke. I hadn't gotten my bearings since I'd been here.
I noticed Chaor watching me.
"What?"
"You're hiding something." He said. I made a face at him, adding a snarl to it I hoped he'd appreciate.
"I've been trying to hide how much I hate you but I guess that's a little too hard."
"So bold…" Chaor chuckled and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. He turned his back to me, "You probably know by now that there have been humans trying to sneak into the UnderWorld and that my Battalion has been chasing them out." I didn't say anything, "Well, yesterday, they suddenly gave up and decided it wasn't worth the effort. Do you know why that is?"
"No." I said, aware of what he was getting, aware that if I said the wrong thing it could get me, H'earring, and my friends into a deep pile of trouble, "I knew you were chasing humans out but that was it."
"Lies. All lies. You've become quite good at lying, Kaz. Goes right along with your new set of skills. You're starting to make a complete set here: lying, fighting, swearing, killing…"
"And somehow, I don't believe you." It was as though the UnderWorlder had heard the reprimanding voice that echoed in my head. I looked up at him. He was staring at me with hard, disbelieving eyes, "The humans stop trying to get into the UnderWorld and you get sudden gutsy attitude towards me. Something has changed."
I had already tripped up.
There had been no mission, it was all a front to find out what I knew and I'd walked right into it. Tom was always telling me to watch where I stepped but now I really wished I had listened.
I'd just put everyone's lives in danger.
So I lied again,
"Yeah? You think so? I'll tell you what's changed! I finally realized I don't have to put up with you anymore!" I jerked The Ripper out and pointed it at Chaor.
The UnderWorlder Lord grabbed a chunk of rock from the pillar he'd blasted earlier, and threw it at me. It spun through the air and hit my left shoulder, sending me stumbling backwards as I tried to regain my balance. Chaor was on me in a second; he smacked my gun from my hand and pinned me against the wall, bearing jagged fangs. I swallowed thickly.
"Where did H'earring go yesterday!?" He roared and I flinched away from the noise, "What're you hiding, Kaz!?"
"Nothing!" I shouted back, not even close to matching his thundering voice.
"Lies!" Chaor threw me to the floor and stomped over to me. I stared up at him; half in anger, half in fear, "Get out." I didn't move, "Get out!" I inched backwards, "GET OUT!"
I grabbed The Ripper and ran.
And didn't stop running until I was back in H'earring's house. Panting, out of breath, I collapsed onto the small table in my underground room. I rested my head on the wooden surface, gasping.
He knew.
And even if he didn't know, he had an inclination.
My friends weren't safe.
Tom, Sarah, and Peyton could never come back here again.
I shook with sorrow.
I was going to be alone once more.
That sort of pain was almost more than I could take.
Ahahahahaha! I made you all think Gespaden was dead! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha! Kaz's first mission was a failure! Yeah for Kazzy!
On the other hand…
Tom, Sarah, and Peyton found Kaz! Whoo-hoo! Par-teh! Hugs and candy for everybody!
But wait…!
Is it true! Tom and co. can never return to the UnderWorld!? Then how are they supposed to get Kaz out!? And does Chaor really know that they've been to see Kaz!? And why was he so intent on keeping them out in the first place?
(sigh) Sorry, I'm tired. I had kind of a long day. It's 11:06 right now and it's fair week so I've been at our local Fair Grounds showing goats and sweating it out. Uhg. Heat. Blech. So, yeah, I'm tired and weirding out.
Well, thanks for reading and for waiting for an update! Please leave a review and remember: "This world is made of…Love and Peace!" –Vash the Stampede, Trigun
