Death.
It had been a long six months. The moment the diagnosis came down, Eric had packed a bag and took the first flight out of Los Angeles to come home to Queens and his mother. Vince hadn't been too far behind, setting up house on the floor of Eric's room much like he had when they were kids. They'd taken turns accompanying her to the hospital for treatments and keeping the house clean and cooking meals that somehow resembled food most days. There had been doctor's appointments and sleepless nights pacing the kitchen floor while Eric's mother fought to keep down even water. It had been a living hell, but Eric had been the perfect and dutiful son. And all that time, Vince had been by his side, dealing with everything that came their way as if this was his own mother because in a lot of ways she was.
And as quickly as that had all come about, it was over just as fast. She had been there one minute and gone the next. Eric walked around the house like a ghost for hours afterward, not saying anything as he acted on autopilot and started making funeral arrangements. Vince tried to talk to him, convince him to eat something, prod him to get a few hours of sleep. Eric looked right through him as he turned the worn pages of his mother's address book, calling distant cousins that he hadn't seen in years to give them the bad news.
It was only when Turtle and Drama arrived from California two days later that Eric showed any signs of life. He offered each of his friends a shy smile and hugged them briefly when they came to the house in the middle of the night. Eric didn't really say much as Turtle led him out to the roof to smoke up, something he rarely did these days but seemed to need more than ever. When he was nicely toasted, Eric managed to smile at Vince genuinely for the first time in a few weeks. Vince considered it progress and joined his boys in a round of shots around the small table in E's kitchen.
It was some time after four before the guys headed off to bed, Turtle crashing on the couch and Drama stretched out on the floor beside him. Vince took Eric up to his room and didn't say a word when E tugged him down to the mattress beside him. They had shared a bed a lot when they were kids but it had been years since Vince had spent the night by E's side. However, his best friend seemed to need it now, and Vince was all for giving Eric whatever he needed to get by.
Eric had already been awake three hours when the alarm beside his bed blared the next morning, stirring Vince from a dreamless sleep that could have extended well into the afternoon hours. "Hey," Eric greets his best friend softly, reaching over Vince's lanky frame absently to push the off button on the clock. Vince nods his reply and yanks the blanket up around his chin. It's January and unreasonably cold in Eric's bedroom. "So today is going to suck."
"Yeah," was the only response Vince could come up with that didn't make him sound like a total dick. He wanted to tell Eric that he was sorry that he couldn't fix this for him and hug him the way he should have the night that his mom died and fast forward this day so that neither of them would have to sit through the funeral. He'd easily take all of Eric's pain as his own because it was easier for him to deal with hurting than watching E seem so lost. "Why don't you grab a shower? I'll go down and make the coffee, figure out some breakfast and get the paper sorted out."
Vince doesn't leave the bed until he hears the shower turn on in E's bathroom. The kitchen floor is freezing beneath his bare feet, but he doesn't really notice. He's focused on starting the brewer and making eggs for Eric. It doesn't even register when the shower clicks off and Eric pads into the kitchen with wet hair and a half-buttoned dress shirt. Eric pours himself a cup of coffee and then one for Vince before collapsing into a chair at the table. It's only when Vince takes a sip of the dark brew that Eric realizes he's given Vince his mom's favorites mug, and that sets off an unexpected wave of tears.
"Hey, E, it's okay," Vince whispers as he kneels next to Eric and wraps his arms around his best friend. Vince is glad that it's just him and E for the moment because the other guys wouldn't know how to deal with E like this. Vince was the only one that saw Eric cry when his father died, and he would be the only one to see him cry now that his mother is gone. "I'm going to get you through this, I promise. You don't have to be strong. It's okay to lean on me. I am going to be there. I'll always be there."
Eric manages to eat half his breakfast before heading back upstairs to get away from everyone. Turtle and Drama look to Vince for direction on how to react and what to do. He just sends them back to their mothers' houses to get ready for the funeral and reminds them that the car is supposed to be there just before noon. Once they're gone and he's alone with Eric again, Vince climbs the stairs in search of his best friend. He finds Eric in his mother's room, fiddling with a pale blue tie in the oversized mirror at her vanity. His hands are shaking and he's near tears as he tries to perfect the knot.
Vince's eyes meet Eric's in the mirror. "Do I really have to wear this thing?"
"Of course not," Vince answers as he comes up behind Eric and takes the tie from him. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If you want to wear a Rangers jersey, I'll dig out my old Ramones tee and go casual with you. You get to decide how you deal with this, E."
"I don't want to go today."
Vince nods understandingly because he really doesn't want to go either. "If you want to blow it off, we can, but I really think that this is something that you need to do." He waits a moment for Eric to protest, but the way his shoulders slump tells him that Eric thinks this too. "You want to know a secret?" Eric looked at him for a moment and shrugged. "I'm kind of scared about today. I mean, I've been to funerals before, but it never really mattered if I was there. I think it matters today. I know how much you need me, E, and I am so scared I'm gonna fuck that up. I've been trying so hard to protect you or make this okay for you, but I don't think I can."
"Vin, you've been amazing," Eric replied. "All this time, if you hadn't been here, I don't know how I would have gotten through it. You're not going to fuck this up. You're there. That's all I really need from you. To just be there like you have been every single day since this whole nightmare started. You can't make this okay for me, but you can make me okay."
The air is heavy with things that neither of them are really to deal with, but Vince recognizes that this is a moment that has the potential to change everything. "You're the one who lost his mom, and you're comforting me. My ego really is that big, huh?"
The joke is enough to make Eric smile. He turns and lets Vince knot the tie around his neck. He reaches up and covers Vince's on his chest briefly, squeezing his fingers in a small sign of promise. "Thanks, Vin," he whispers, his eyes locking with Vince's again. "For being here...then and now."
The car comes thirty minutes later, and they're filing into the front pew within the hour. People stand up and say nice things about E's mom, an uncle and a few people from the neighborhood and her best friend from when she was a kid. Drama chokes back his tears and Turtle taps his foot nervously to an imaginary beat playing in his head. Eric holds Vince's hand so tightly that his knuckles are still purple four hours later. It sucks and it's hard but Vince gets Eric through it just like he promised.
After the funeral, after Turtle has gone to his mom's for the night and Drama is next door having dinner with Rita, Vince and Eric sit together on the couch still holding hands. The house is dark and silent as the cold January air seeps in through the single-paned windows. "When we get back to L.A., I think we need to make some changes," Eric says into the darkness.
"Yeah, I think that's a good idea," Vince replies as E's head finds its way to his shoulder.
"I'm tired, Vince."
"I know you are, E."
"I'm gonna sleep now."
"Just sleep, E," Vince reassures him. "I'll still be here when you wake up. I'll always be right here."
