Sorry this took so long to update, I got really caught up in Nice To Be Loved. It's going amazingly well and I really like it. Too bad we're close to the end. At least I'll still have The Files to work on!
The Files of Kazdan Kalinkas
Book Two: After the Storm
Chapter Ten: Addicted to Sleeping
"Your regrets aren't what you did, but what you didn't do." –Cameron Diaz
It was warm and wonderful and I smiled to myself, even though my eyes were closed. Still lying on my back, I took a deep a deep breath and let it out slowly. Wherever I was, the room smelled like earth and wood and candle smoke.
I opened my eyes.
A low stone ceiling criss-crossed with wooden beams and strung with dried out plants. I looked around. Stone walls with small stands set with candles that flickered in the gloom. I was alone in the room but I could hear voices beyond the wooden door on the wall to my left. I tried to sit up but my body felt as though it was weighted down with iron tons. I gasped closed my eyes to try and stop my head from spinning. Garv had been right, the removal of the armor had left me exhausted. I wished I could see myself, my skin, my body, the way I was supposed to be. Myself.
I opened my eyes again and stared at the ceiling, thinking. How long had I been asleep? How long had it been since the armor had come off? Was Chaor still looking for me?
That's what I was scared of the most. Chaor looking for me. I was even more terrified that he would find me.
I heard movement and turned my head slowly too see the door inching open as though whoever was doing it was worried about waking me up. I felt exhausted with just the effort of turning my head. My body was worn out with the absence of the IRA.
Tom poked his head into the room and looked at me. I guess the candlelight must have been reflecting in my eyes because this ridiculously gigantic smile stretched across his face and he slammed the door open the rest of the way and bounced into the room. He shouted happily and jumped on the bed. He grabbed me into a hug that scooped up the blankets along with me.
"Kaz! You're awake! Hahahahaaaaaa!" Tom howled with laughter and I guess Peyton and Sarah must have heard him because they came running in, laughing and shouting too. I was smothered in hugs but didn't have the energy to return them myself.
But I laughed.
Oh, did I laugh.
And at some point while I was laughing, I fell asleep again and dreamed of happy times I can't quite remember.
When I woke up again, I was in same bed staring at the same ceiling. But I wasn't alone. I heard someone shifting around beside me and turned my head with a soft groan.
It was Garv.
"Hello there, Kaz." The OverWorlder smiled but I didn't return the gesture. H'earring was the only Creature I would ever trust again. And Garv was an OverWorlder. Which brought up another point.
"Garv…don't you…hate me?" Even talking was laborious. I felt like someone was sitting on my chest whenever I tried to speak.
"And why should I hate you?" The Caretaker was grinding up a powder with a mortar and pestle.
"Because I…killed those Over…Worlders and…I hurt…Gespedan…"
"You did not do those things of your own volition." Garv answered, tipping the powder into the steaming bowl of soup on the bedside stand in front of him, "I do not blame you for what is Chaor's fault. Here, can you sit up?"
"I…" I pushed down on the bed with my arms, trying to prop myself up. My head spun and gave up, panting as though I'd been running around a football field. Garv put his hand behind my back and slowly eased me into a sitting position. I felt dazed and tired but forced myself to keep my eyes open.
"I think you are still too weak for your body to respond to you yet." Garv murmured, "Would it insult your pride if I were to feed you?"
I couldn't help but chuckle at the statement and I guess Garv took that as a no because he leaned forward and held out a spoonful of orange-colored liquid. I opened my mouth and he tipped it in. It tasted like dry lettuce and eggs and I made a face as I swallowed it. Garv laughed at me,
"I know, I know. It tastes terrible but it will help you recover faster. Think of it as medicine, if the more traditional kind." He held out another spoonful and I accepted it, "Creatures usually eat the leaves of the plant I ground up raw in order to enhance their power and strength. Unfortunately, the side effects of the raw plant slow one's wits and kills the brain for a moment of time. I think…in your world they would call it a…drug?"
I choked on a mouthful of soup, managed to swallow, and stared at Garv in shock,
"You mean you're…drugging me!?" I wheezed.
"No, no," Garv shook his head and held out another spoonful. I looked at it warily, "Kaz, I said the raw plant would cause those effects. Ground into powder and dissolved in a hot liquid, all the remains is the power enhancing product. And even that it muted somewhat by the powder dissolving." He looked at me hard, square in the eye, "I need you to trust me, Kazdan, I am trying to help you."
" I know you're…trying to help me." I said slowly and took another bit of soup. After swallowing it, I continued, "But I…you have to…understand that…I…have a…hard time trusting…anyone…anymore…"
"I understand that, Kaz." Garv replied softly in a sad tone of voice as he continued to feed me more soup, "I understand you all too well."
We didn't speak at all for the remainder of the time he was there. After the soup was finished, Garv helped me to lay back down on the bed. Soon after that, I fell asleep again.
Sleeping was the best way for me to recover.
I think Garv explained this to Tom, Sarah, and Peyton because I didn't see them often but when I did, they said they stopped by every single day. H'earring was the same way. Most of the time, Garv had to throw him out of the room to get him to leave me alone.
I don't know how long I was out of commission but according to my friends, I was prone to sleeping for at least three days straight. Peyton told me to try and go for a record of a week. I told him to shove it. I desperately wanted to get up and move. I hated being confined to the bed, unable to see anything except the stupid ceiling unless someone helped me sit up. I already knew how many beams ran across the ceiling, how many swirls were in the wood, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. It was boring.
The only eventful thing I could remember happening during that time of confinement was the third time I woke up. Tom and the others were there and they were acting wary around me. I didn't like it. When I confronted them about it, they stopped talking and glanced at one another.
"What?" I'd asked, frowning at them. I was propped against the headboard of the bed on some pillows, while they all sat on the opposite end of the bed. Tom shifted his weight nervously and looked away from me.
"Have you—." Sarah began.
"Sarah!" Tom hissed.
"Tom!" She spat back at him. Peyton watched them, chewing on the inside of his lip.
"Guys!" I said loudly and they all looked around at me, "What's your…problem?"
"Your scars." Sarah said quickly and Tom scowled at her but didn't interrupt her again.
"Scars?" I asked curiously, "What…scars?"
"These ones." Sarah crawled across the bed, pulled back the covers, and opened the front of the light blue tunic I was wearing. I forced myself to look down and could only stare. Underneath Sarah's fingertips was a long jagged scar tracing from my collar bone, down my sternum, and stopping just below my ribcage. Below that was a twisted mess of raw lines and rippled skin and I could see the edge of a thin scar coiling around my left side. It matched up with the one that wound all the way around my lower left arm. If I had cared to look at the spot just below my left shoulder, there would probably have been a small scar there, too. And more scars on my back. And some on my legs. And one on the left side of my head.
They marked all the places I'd been killed.
I closed my eyes, trying to swallow past the lump that had suddenly swelled in my throat. It wasn't that the scars upset me, I was just kind of scared of them. They would be constant reminders of what I had done and of what had happened to me. Permanent brands on my skin that could tell the whole world my story.
"What're you going to tell your parents?" Tom asked and I opened my eyes again to look at him. He looked upset. He would.
"I'm not…going to tell them anything." I responded, "I'm not going…to tell anyone. What could I tell them…anyway? That I was…kidnapped by the UnderWorlders? No one would believe me, Tom! They'd…call me crazy! They'd really lock…me up this time! And that would be it! No more…Kazdan Kalinkas!" I leaned back against the pillow breathlessly, feeling dizzy because of my little rant. When none of them said anything, I managed to squeeze out a few more words, "My parents…they'd…"
"If that next word is "hate", Kaz, I'm going to punch you myself!" Peyton snapped and I forced myself to look at him, "No parent hates their kid! I've said that before and I'll say it again! Don't ever say that! EVER!" I stared at him, shocked, "It's not right! Never right! Never! Never…never…"
"Peyton, it's okay. Come on, let's go find H'earring; I'll bet he wants to see Kaz is awake." Sarah said kindly, putting a hand on Peyton's arm. It seemed Peyton didn't trust himself to speak because he only nodded, stood, and followed Sarah out of the room. I leaned back again against the pillows, closing my eyes. A spot on my right temple had started throbbing and I was suddenly anticipating a headache.
"Hey…Kaz?" It was Tom. I'd forgotten he was still in the room with me.
"Mm?" I didn't have the energy to do much else. I felt ready to sleep again but I kept myself awake to listen to him. He was my best friend, after all.
"I'm sorry we didn't come for you sooner."
"Not…your fault. Chaor…"
"How much longer do you think you'll stuck here like this?"
"Dunno…"
"H'earring said Garv was giving you medicine. Does it help?"
"Don't…take it anymore."
"Why not!?"
"I don't…wanna rely on…drugs…I'll get better on…my own…" I was crashing; slowly, maybe, but I was falling asleep all the same.
"What're you going to—."
I didn't hear the rest of his sentence, I was already asleep.
Like I said, I'm sorry this took so long to update but I really got into NTBL. I don't know if anyone's watching Legends of Chaos but I've been posting Chaotic drabbles there; it's a collection of pure insanity. Feel free to check it out. They're fun.
Well, not much going on in this chapter. Just Kaz trying to recover from the IRA being removed and sleeping. A lot. Lots of sleeping. Typical teenaged boy. (gigglesnort) Stereotyped. Ah, well what can you do.
So, the big secret is finally out. The reason Kaz will never be able to forget his past is because of those scars. Pleasant, huh? I bet the picture on dA, "Pieces of a Past Life" might make a little bit more sense now, huh? But you have to look at it really close… X3
