A/N: Wow! Almost over 700 already!
This. Is. Awesome.
Nothing much to babble about today, so let's just skip to the movie quote for today!
"Snakes. I hate snakes." - Indiana Jones
Random Disclaimer: I do not own CF, though I do own a rather fantastic fedora; "Think you used enough dynamite there, Butch?"; "Why is the rum always gone?"; "Why so serious?"; "I'll get you my pretty! And your little dog, too!"; "I am Asneeze, father of Achoo."; "Dobby did not mean to kill . . . only to maim . . . or seriously injure."; "My precious!"; "Puny god"; "So that's what it feels like"; "Yeah, I can fly."; "There's only one God, ma'am, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that."; "Your skin is pale white, you dress fashionably, and you abstain from sex. . . I know what you are . . . Jonas brother"; "Snakes. I hate snakes."
Chapter 13
When I wake up the next morning, I feel a warm body beside me. However, it's not the warm body that I'm used to. I turn my head to the left and immediately get licked in the face. "Maya?" I question groggily and she licks my face again.
My hand finds its way into her fur, and I lazily pet her as I wait for the sleepy haze to clear from my mind. Judging by the lack of light in the room, I know that dawn is still a couple hours away. I sit up, clutching the bed sheet to my chest as my eyes adjust to the darkness in the room. Where's Peeta?
It's not like it's uncommon for me to wake up without him. Sometimes he'll get up early to bake, and then other times he simply can't sleep and he'll go into his art studio. I smell nothing cooking from the kitchen, so that leaves me with only one other option as to where he is. My feet touch the cold hardwood floors, and the chill that hits my bare skin cause goosebumps to appear on my arms. I dress quickly, digging a pair of jeans and a thick blue sweater out of my drawer in Peeta's dresser.
As my brain begins to wake up, I'm catapulted into memories of the night before. Peeta and I have never come so close to having sex. If Peeta hadn't stopped when he did, I have no doubt that we would have kept going. I wanted to. A shadow of the excitement I felt last night courses through me, and I can't help but smile, even if a slight blush heats my cheeks.
But even though I really do want to be with Peeta, in every way possible, I can't deny that the idea terrifies me. It's a part of me that is still entirely mine. Something that I haven't shared with Peeta and that has made me feel more secure. Because I know that once I make love with Peeta there's no going back. He'll know all of me, body, mind, and soul. That thought is just a little scary.
Still, I've known that our time is coming for a while. Our kisses are more frantic. There is a tension hanging over us, both of us wanting more. Both of us want to be closer. Peeta's touches linger even more than usual. And I can't seem to keep my hands off him.
Not that either of us really mind.
We're on the precipice of that final step, and I'm both equally excited and terrified, an odd combination that causes my stomach to twist. I shake my head slightly as I run a brush through my hair. It takes longer than normal due to the fact that it wasn't in my braid last night, so there are more tangles that I have to brush through. And the fact that Peeta seems obsessed with running his fingers through my hair only adds to the amount of tangles.
I deftly twist my hair into its usual braid as I make my way down the hallway to Peeta's art studio, Maya following loyally behind me. "Peeta?" I knock on the door softly. "Peeta, you in there?"
No answer. It's entirely too quiet in the house, and a pit of unease settles within me. I descend the stairs and that's when I hear voices. Two voices that I never really expected to hear together. Peeta and Gale.
And judging by the ever increasing volume, they're arguing.
Oh, shit.
I cautiously tread through the house toward the sound of their raised voices and quickly conclude that they're in the backyard. My feet ghost over the kitchen floor until I'm right by the backdoor that leads out into the backyard. A long, vertical, rectangular window in the door allows me to see the two most important men in my life clearly.
Gale is pissed. I can tell by his posture. His shoulders are entirely too tense. His jaw is clinched, his hands balled into fists at his sides. Peeta, on the other hand, looks relatively relaxed. Though with Peeta, looks are always deceiving. His arms are crossed over his chest while he leans casually against the trunk of the maple tree in the middle of the yard. A picture of typical nonchalance, but I know him better. His expression is too stony. His eyes are narrowed, his lips pursed into a thin line.
Gale and Peeta aren't happy with each other.
"Why are you here, Gale?" Peeta asks.
Gale cuts right to the chase. "Is it for real?" he asks. "Are you really in love with her?"
"Yes." I can tell that Peeta's slightly confused. I am too. "I'm in love with Katniss. Why would you think otherwise?"
"Oh, I don't know," Gale says sarcastically. "Maybe because you're a merchant? You know, the merchant kids that just want to get a Seam girl into bed 'cause they're easy?"
I know that Gale's getting punched before he does. And when Peeta's fist comes into contact with Gale's jaw, I wince as Gale stumbles back a step or two. "You think that I'm just trying to get laid?" Peeta growls angrily, all appearances of nonchalance vanishing. "Are you out of your damn mind? I love Katniss. I'm going to marry her. If I just wanted to get in her pants, would I really go through all of this?"
Gale suddenly steps forward and punches Peeta in the face, causing Peeta's head to snap to the side. I can tell that Peeta wants nothing more than to tackle Gale to the ground and really start a fight, but a proud smile threatens to pull at my lips when he takes a small step back, restraining himself.
Gale seems confused, obviously expecting a fight. Peeta and Gale glower at each other for a long moment before Gale seems to deflate a little. "What am I supposed to think?" he asks, his voice mixed with anger and confusion. "Before the Games, Katniss didn't spare a thought for you, for anyone. She was fine without any love in her life, and then all of a sudden she's all over you? Talking about feelings and admitting that she's in love with you? She's really only known you since the Games. I've had years with her. Me. Not you."
"This is all about pride?" Peeta scowls. "Look, man, let it go."
"Would you?" Gale retorts quickly. "If she was with me, and not you. Would you just let her go?"
"Yes," Peeta answers truthfully and I don't doubt it. He's just that selfless. "If she was happy with you . . . yeah, I'd let her go. Of course, I'd still be waiting in the wings, waiting for her to dump your sorry ass."
Gale and Peeta actually share a smile. It's weird. Must be a 'guy thing.'
"You're her best friend, Hawthorne," Peeta says seriously. "She misses you."
Gale sighs. "I miss her, too," he admits. "The woods aren't the same without her. You think she'll forgive me?"
"Oh, yeah," Peeta replies before adding with a smile. "Of course, she'll give you hell first."
Gale chuckles. "I deserve it."
"Yeah, you do."
"Watch it, Mellark."
"You first."
For a moment I'm worried they might start swinging at each other again, but Peeta backs away. "I'm not fighting you, Gale. One, because I'm not that kind of guy. Two, because it would make Katniss unhappy, and that's on my list of things not to do."
Gale sighs. "You know, you'd be easier to hate if you weren't such a good guy."
Peeta smirks. "I'm glad I have the Gale Hawthorne seal of approval."
"Now, I didn't say that," Gale corrects. "I just said you were a good guy."
"Thanks." Peeta rubs his arms, looking around pointedly at all the snow. "You think we could go inside? I'm freezing."
"Can if you want," Gale shrugs. "I'm about to head into the woods anyway."
"Yeah," Peeta replies blandly. I see him glance up and realize that he's looking at his bedroom window. "Katniss is probably going to be up soon."
Gale's eyes dart to Peeta. "She's here?"
"Every night," Peeta says truthfully, before reassuring Gale. "We just sleep. Chill out, man."
Oh, Peeta. No we don't. Have you forgotten last night?
Gale doesn't seem entirely convinced. "You really expect me to believe that?"
"It's not your business anyway," Peeta retorts, prompting a staring contest with Gale. It honestly goes on for so long that I'm worried they'll stand out in the snow forever.
Fed up with their secret conversation, and tired of eavesdropping, I bang on the door, startling both of them. They look at me, each of them wearing expressions in varied degrees of fear, and I can't help but smirk.
Peeta is the first one into the house, looking at me warily. Oh, yeah. He's wondering if he's in trouble. Gale, however, knows for sure that he's in trouble, and finds a point on the wall to stare at. "Gale, I'll meet you outside," I say, knowing that he knows I mean the woods.
He nods and walks by me. I wait until I hear the front door shut before I turn to Peeta.
He's already apologizing. "Katniss, I'm sorry. I woke up from a nightmare and was going to go paint, but there was a knock on the door and it was Gale. He guessed that I'd be up early. I have no idea why. And I'm sorry that we were talking about you and arguing about you like you're some object. I shouldn't have—"
I can't stand it anymore. My lips crash onto his, halting his hasty apology that was honestly so damn cute that I was proud I'd been able to restrain myself as long as I had. Peeta's lips are immediately moving with mine, and I know we're both thinking of last night and how close we came to crossing that line. However, I have to break the kiss when Peeta's hand sneaks underneath my sweater. I jump back, a small squeak escaping me.
"What?" Peeta asks confused.
"You're hands are freezing!" I complain and Peeta grins sheepishly.
"Sorry."
I step back into his arms and kiss him again. "You're apologizing quite a bit," I say when I pull away.
"How much of that did you hear?" Peeta asks curiously, though still cautious.
"Oh, just about all of it, I think."
"Damn."
"Peeta," I say with a wry smile. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. You were just defending me. Gale was being a jerk." My eyes narrow when I remember exactly what all Gale accused Peeta of, and I feel my ire rise. "Don't worry. I'll will, 'give him hell,' as you so rightly put it."
"I'm sorry for punching him," Peeta apologizes and I scoff.
"No you're not."
Peeta grins. "You're right. I'm not."
I can't help but laugh a little. "I better go," I say. "I'll probably be back late."
"I've got dinner with my family tonight," Peeta reminds me. "I might not be here."
Oh, right. "Are you sure you don't want me to go?"
We've had this discussion before, whether I should go with him to eat with his family. Peeta, though I know that he wants me to go, would never knowingly let me walk into the proverbial lion's den. Said lion's den being in the form of Mrs. Mellark. We have avoided each other whenever possible and we've each done a damn good job, considering that I've only seen her face twice since the Games. Once when I went into the bakery, she had been at the counter. The minute I walked in, she left to go into the back room. The second time I saw her was in the market. She actually took the time to glare at me during that brief encounter.
There's no telling what horrors would go down if both of us were trapped in the same room together. She'd no doubt trash my heritage and I would end up screaming at her for abusing Peeta. Luckily, since Peeta doesn't live with her anymore, he hasn't been hit once since the Games, but I still don't trust her. I hate her guts honestly.
Peeta knows this. And he knows that his mother feels the same way about me. This is why I never attend his family dinners. For me, it's easier just to avoid the whole mess. But still, I know that Peeta would love for me to go, if the circumstances were different, and that's why I always ask.
"Nah," he says, like I knew he would. "No need to put you through hell. It's bad enough already." I can only assume that even in my absence, his mother still insults me.
"Alright," I relent. I give him a lingering kiss, before turning to walk out the door, but Peeta pulls me back to him. His lips find mine and my knees actually feel weak when he deepens the kiss. As if sensing my weakness, Peeta's arms tighten around me. We kiss until we both give in to our need for oxygen.
We break apart and stare at each other for a moment. "Listen, Katniss, about last night . . ." Peeta begins, but I interrupt him.
"Soon," I say, preempting whatever he was about to say. Peeta's eyes study my face intently, knowing exactly what I mean. "I want you, Peeta," I admit in an embarrassed whisper, a blush spreading across my cheeks. "I do. I'm just scared."
"Me too," he admits. "But I'm ready when you are. I don't mind waiting. I mean, I don't want to push you into—"
"Peeta," I interupt with a small laugh. He doesn't know just how adorable he can be sometimes. "Let's just let things happen," I say. "We'll know when it's right."
"Yeah," Peeta agrees. "So . . . one more kiss before you go?"
I remember Gale waiting for me in the woods. "One more," I agree, giving him a quick kiss.
This time, when I turn around, Peeta doesn't pull me back. When I step outside, Maya following behind me, I take a deep breath of the fresh, clean air. Maya and I head toward the Seam, and I stop by my old house to grab my father's hunting jacket and my game bag. I don't know why I haven't taken them with me to the Victor's Village. Maybe because they are both my father's things and this was his house. Maybe I don't want to break that connection.
This stop only lasts thirty seconds at the most before we're headed toward the Meadow. Due to the snow, I make sure to cover both my footprints and Maya's paw prints. Even if everyone knows that I hunt, I'd rather not broadcast it so obviously. Also, due to the snow, I have to dig out a crawl space under my usual spot where I slip under the fence. I still get a face full of snow anyway. Maya quickly follows me and together we head through the forest. I grab my bow and quiver from my trusty hideaway log, and silently make my way to mine and Gale's spot.
He's there waiting for me, and when he notices Maya, he eyes her warily and she does the same to him. They haven't had too many encounters with each other. Mainly because Gale has been ignoring me and when we meet in the woods, we never talk and usually go in separate directions. Not anymore. That ends today.
"She's pretty," he admits. "But I can't help but wonder what her pelt would go for."
"Gale," I chastise, reaching down to pet Maya. "She's my friend. And a good hunting partner."
"Yeah." Gale looks down at his feet. "I suppose you'd need one after me being such an ass."
"You got that right," I say, not pulling any punches.
Gale nods. He expects nothing less from me. "I'm sorry, Katniss."
I raise my eyebrows. Is Gale really apologizing? I can count on one hand the times I've heard him say those two words. Gale sees my dubious look and huffs. "You heard me. Don't make me say it again. Once is hard enough."
"Yeah, well," I say lightly. "It's not like you insinuated that Peeta was only with me because he was trying to have sex with me. Or by insinuating that, made me sound like a slut for sleeping with him in the first place. No, I can't imagine why you would only apologize once."
Gale winces. "Mellark already punched me for that," he says, absently rubbing his jaw. "Don't tell him, but I think he knocked a tooth loose."
I smile. "If he hadn't punched you, I would have."
A grin threatens to turn up Gale's lips, but he manages to squash it. "Is this really what you want, Catnip?" he asks me seriously. "The wedding? All that stuff that you swore you'd never do?"
"I really do love him, Gale," I say softly. "He's worth it. I know that I said all of those things. About not having a relationship. Not getting married. But then Peeta came along and ruined everything," I can't help but add with a small smile. "You're still my best friend, Gale. You always will be. But I'm tired of avoiding each other. I want my best friend back."
"I'd love that," Gale admits, looking embarrassed for a split second. "Guess, I should probably apologize again, shouldn't I?"
"I think we're both sorry enough to avoid it." I let him off the hook. Sure, maybe I should give him a harder time. Maybe I should cuss him out seven ways from Sunday and leave him in the woods and never speak to him again. But wounded pride is something that someone like Gale can't just bounce back from. I think we've both punished ourselves enough.
Gale smiles at me, knowing that he's forgiven. "Come on," I say as I reposition my quiver on my shoulder. "We can bring in a good haul today, I bet."
And it's almost as though nothing ever happened between us. There's still a hint of awkwardness since our dynamic has changed. It's no longer just me and him. Peeta is in the equation now and we're both trying to figure out exactly where we stand, but I have no doubt that we'll figure it out. Gale spots a wild turkey and shoots it right through the eye. Maya scares a few rabbits out of hiding and I manage to get two of them before they hop out of range. Since it's winter, there aren't many greens to gather and neither of us feel up to making the trek to the lake for fish we'll have to break through the ice to get to.
We call it a day about an hour or so before dusk, and Maya trots in front of us as we make our way back to the fence. "Today was fun," Gale says. "You sure Mellark doesn't mind you spending so much quality time with me?"
I snort. "Peeta's not really the jealous type," I say. "He has no reason to be."
"I admit he surprised me during the Games." Gale seems to be remembering specific events. "You know, if he and the guy from District 2 had been on a more level playing field, I think Mellark might have been able to beat him."
I shiver at the thought of Peeta and Cato fighting. With weapons or just their fists, it's not something I want to imagine. Gale must sense my discomfort. "Sorry," he says and I can't help the slight twinge of my lips as I fight a smile.
"Second time you've apologized in one day," I comment. "That's a record."
"One that does not need repeating," Gale quips and I laugh. "Seriously, though. Mellark's a good guy, for a merchant anyway."
"But if he slips up once, you tell me and I'll beat his ass," he adds, with a little too much glee in his eyes at the idea.
"Don't hold out too much hope for that," I say. "Besides, I don't like the idea of you two fighting."
"I'd win," Gale shrugs as if it's the obvious answer.
I'm honestly not so sure, and I can't stop myself from wondering which one of them, Gale or Peeta, would win in a fight. Peeta has strength on his side, but Gale is probably quicker. Gale is more of a brawler, but Peeta actually has training . . . why am I thinking about this again?
"I don't know," I say, just to ruffle Gale's feathers. "Peeta's pretty strong."
"Of course you'll have to root for him." Gale says this as if it's no big deal. "But secretly, you know, you can be cheering me on."
I laugh. I think that maybe, just maybe, Gale and Peeta will tolerate each other, if only for my sake.
Gale looks at Maya. "You know, you were right," he says. "She's a good hunting partner. Did you train her?"
I nod. "She's smart. But don't bet on her listening to anything you say. She only really obeys me."
"Did you train her do to that to?" Gale teases, and I roll my eyes. "Figures."
All this camaraderie, the closeness that I've missed so much with Gale, causes me to want to tell him about the uprisings, about the threats facing Peeta and I from the Capitol, but I manage to hold my tongue. It's not Gale's concern and now that the threat from President Snow concerning Gale's life is really null and void, I don't have that to motivate me into spilling my guts. The uprisings. Mine and Peeta's failed mission to subdue the districts. The rebellion that seems to be simmering beneath the surface. All of this would give Gale too much incentive and he might do something impulsive and rash. I can't risk that.
We reach the fence and Maya crawls under first. I follow her and then Gale is beside me in the next few seconds. I motion to the rabbits in the bag, "I'll take these to Hazelle. Or do you want to trade for something at the Hob?"
"Give them to my mother," he says. "Tell her I'll be home in about twenty minutes or so. I've got to talk to Greasy Sae about some herbs for Posy. She was feeling a bit off this morning. And then I'm going to see what Cray will give me for the turkey."
I frown. "I can get my mother to send something for Posy," I say.
"It's not too bad, yet," Gale says. "If it gets serious, I'll take you up on that offer."
"Alright," I say. I know better than to argue with him. "I'll give the rabbits to Hazelle. See you later, Gale."
"See you later, Catnip," he replies with a small smile that I can't help but return before looking to Maya, sitting patiently at my side.
"Come on, girl." Together we make our way to Hazelle's and drop of the rabbits. I deliver Gale's message, and then stow my father's hunting jacket and my game bag back at my old house.
As I walk through town, a few people stop me to congratulate me on my engagement and I accept them with the gracious smile that Effie taught me. Maya trotting through town still makes people nervous, but I've gotten so used to it that I don't pay attention to it anymore.
I make it into the Victor's Village just in time to see Peeta stepping out of his house. Maya bounds off ahead of me to greet him, and he obligingly gets down on one knee so he can rub her belly. I can't help but laugh. In many ways, taking care of Maya when I got back from the Games was extremely therapeutic. On the rare nights when I didn't sneak over to Peeta's house, when I woke up, Maya was typically lying right beside me. And training and taking care of her gave me something to do, something to think about other than the Games. But in many ways she helped Peeta, too. I'll catch them together occasionally, early in the morning when Peeta will get up because he isn't able to sleep. They'll be out on the porch, Peeta with a cup of coffee, Maya with her head in his lap.
Peeta looks up when I come to stand next to him. He gives Maya a pat, before standing up, and pulling me toward him. "How was today?" he asks before giving me a brief kiss. "Hawthorne didn't screw up, did he? Do I have to hit him again?"
I laugh. "You know. Oddly enough, he offered to do the same thing if you screw up."
"Good man." Peeta nods approvingly. "I'd probably let him, too."
I can't help but shake my head. Men are strange creatures.
"You going into town?" I question as we start walking down the road.
"Yep," he says. "But you already knew that."
"Just making conversation," I defend myself. "I was going to walk with you into town, but if you're going to be smart with me . . ." I spin away from him and begin to walk away. I don't make it two steps before I feel his arm around my waist.
He pulls me back into his side, kissing my temple. "I'm sorry," he apologizes with a smile. "Will you, Katniss Everdeen, do me the honor of walking me into town?"
I debate for a moment. "Only because you asked so nicely."
Peeta grins and I can't help but smile. It still amazes me that I flirt. Only with Peeta, though. I have no idea how I manage it, either. Love makes people do crazy things, or so I've heard. For me? It actually makes me flirty and giggly. But I manage to keep these hideously girly acts strictly between Peeta and me. That is a side of myself that only he gets to see.
The road to the Victor's Village into town is seldom travelled, mainly because the only people who use it are us victors and since it's just me, Peeta, and Haymitch, we usually don't meet too many people on the road. This is why I deem it a safe place to talk.
"I've been thinking about the uprisings," I say, still keeping my voice down. "Do you think we could start one here?"
Peeta pulls me to a stop, looking at my face to see if I'm serious. "You're joking," he says, though I know he doesn't believe it. "You can't be serious."
"Why not?" I ask and Peeta runs a hand through his hair. "Peeta, this is our chance! Do you really want the Capitol to dictate the rest of our lives? We've become their pawns, Peeta. It's all just a game."
Peeta sighs. "I know it is. And I can't say that I haven't thought about it, but the people in 12 won't rebel, Katniss. They're too scared. You've grown up disobeying the rules. It's not a big deal to you. You slip under the fence to hunt. You go to the Hob. How many people in town would even dare go near the Hob? Let alone slip under the fence?"
I frown. He has a point because the answer to his question is that very few, if any, people would do any of the things that I do so freely.
"An uprising takes more than a handful of people," Peeta says. "Besides, Haymitch told us to forget about it."
"You can't expect me to actually do what Haymitch says," I deadpan and Peeta smiles wryly.
"I don't think you'll ever do what anyone says," he admits. "But that's only one of the many reasons I love you."
We resume walking into town, with no more talk about uprisings. It's relatively peaceful, just me and Peeta holding hands, Maya following alongside us. Suddenly, her ears perk up and it prompts me to listen to my surroundings, wondering what's caught her interest.
I frown as I hear a strange sound. Something cutting through the air. An impact. The intake of breath from a crowd. I look up at Peeta. "What is that?"
Peeta's eyes are narrowed. "Come on," he says, speeding up so that we're basically jogging.
We reach the square in a minute, and my eyes immediately focus on the crowd. They're obviously watching something, but there's so many people that I can't see what it is. Peeta hops up on top of a crate to get a better look. Suddenly, he says, "Katniss, go home."
"What?" I frown. "Why should I?"
"Just do it, okay? Please?" he asks, his voice more insistent than it's ever been. I begin to climb up on the box so that I can see whatever he's seeing, but he blocks my way. "Please, just go home. I'll meet you there, I promise!"
Something's not right. I jerk my hand from his, adrenaline coursing through me as I begin to push through the crowd. Adrenaline morphs into fear as people try to stop me, saying things like, "Go home, girl!" or "You'll only make it worse!"
I ignore them all. The only reason Peeta would be so insistent that I not see whatever is going on in the square is to protect me. But not something that will directly harm me. No, if it was that, Peeta would have never let me go. So this will hurt me indirectly?
All my worst imaginings could not have prepared me for what I see when I finally break through the crowd. My breath escapes me. Tied to a post by his hands, his shirt shredded in a bloody mess around him, his back looking like a raw slab of meat is Gale. Nailed above his head is the wild turkey he killed earlier today.
Standing behind Gale is a man I don't recognize, though the uniform he wears gives me a clue, even if it confuses me. He's wearing the uniform of the Head Peacekeeper, but this man is not Cray. This man is tall and muscular with cold eyes and I'd guess an equally cold heart.
I'm still wondering what is happening, when I see his arm raise the whip.
And then the pieces of the puzzle come together.
Yep, Gale is still going to get whipped . . . but what might change?
Quote from the next chapter comes from . . . Mrs. Mellark!
"Get this trash out of my sight."
Yes . . . for those of you who wanted a Katniss vs. Mrs. Mellark . . . wish granted. ;)
Lots of love,
AC
