A/N: It's the girl's (S, B, and V) turn this time. I wanted it to be the exact opposite of the boys, so let me know if I accomplished that. I also feel the need to remind readers that this is mature for a reason. There are no explicit action, but the language is highly suggestive. If you are young or light of heart, don't continue.
I don't usually do notes to readers but to clarify:
tvrox12: Nate's fantasy is to make out with Serena in bathroom at PJ Clarke's. It's a reference to the "Woman on the Verge" episode in Season one. Watch it and you'll see.
annablake: You wondered why Blair would turn down Chuck. I believe I had them go five to six rounds. I can tell you that after three or four times you get a bit sore. Having them go more than four rounds is a statement to their durability. Plus remember she didn't reject him :)
Afternoon Tea
Next afternoon, NYU Dorms, Outside Blair's Room
"Vanessa! Hey, how have you been?" Serena cried out jovially to the raven-haired filmmaker that she hadn't seen in a long while.
"Very well, Serena. How are you?" she responded cordially stopping to converse with the blonde.
"Great. Everything is great," Serena exclaimed with her usually exuberance, "I heard from a mutual friend of ours that you and Dan are an item."
"Yes. Just for a couple weeks now," Vanessa answered shyly, unable to stop the smile spreading on her face, "How is Nate, by the way?"
"Great!" Serena mused again, "Actually, I came by to borrow something from Blair. I promised Nate a special night out today."
"With that, I think that I'll be on my way," Vanessa glared at Blair's dorm room door for a second. She hesitated before departing from the blonde, "Serena, I wanted to ask you something about . . . Dan."
The blonde calmly stood smiling in the hallway waiting for her question. Vanessa sneaked a peek along the corridor to make sure there was no audience to overhear them. Initially, she fumbled with the words, but she finally asked, "When you two were a couple, how exactly . . . what did you and Dan . . . I'm sorry this may sound a little forward, but what was he like in bed?"
Her eyes boggled for a second but recovered quickly. Serena lowered to voice to respond, "I guess that you can say it was like when any boy and girl fall in love for the first time, a little awkward and amazingly meaningful."
"Would you describe Dan as adventurous in bed?" Vanessa wondered still on the lookout for passersby.
"He was fun and eager," Serena answered carefully with her choice of words, "Why the sudden curiosity?"
"He asked me over to the loft last night, and everything was so different. It's been wonderful, but last night was so much more than anything we have ever tried," Vanessa tried to explain her apprehensions.
"Vanessa, if he freaked you out, talk to Dan. The two of you are able . . ." Serena advised but was cut off by Vanessa.
"No, it wasn't anything like that. It was really wonderful," she quickly replied and then hesitated before really getting to her point. She explained, "We actually were planning on expanding on what we started last night. Maybe, I'm just nervous because we are entering new territory. I just wanted to ask because I wanted to be prepared. Have you ever gone into the land least explored."
Twisting her head slightly to the side in confusion, Serena looked at Vanessa trying to decipher what she meant. Vanessa looked nervously around the hall again for any witnesses. Then, she motioned to her behind and quietly inferred, "You know the 'other' nether region."
Suddenly, the door across the hallway slammed open. Four girls in headbands marched out single-file oddly dressed in very similar fashions. The commander stuck her head out the door to shout final marching orders as the girls departed. Turning her attention to the girls in the hall, Blair admonished, "S, what are you doing out here with the commoners? Get in here now!"
"B, I was just catching up with Vanessa. We were talking about our new relationships. Actually, we could use your help with something," Serena pulled Vanessa into the lioness's den, much to the dismay of the predator and prey.
Blair slammed the door in a huff obviously opposed to the blonde's idea. Dismissively, she gestured to the settee, and the visitors sat down. With a wave of her hand, Dorota sprung into action preparing tea service for Ms. Blair and Ms. Serena. The faithful maid held out pastries to the bubbly blonde and the apprehensive brunette; they each took one. Vanessa inspected it suspiciously choosing to believe that poison was not a part of Dorota's job duties. Blair barked, "Dorota wrap it to go. Abrams, you wanted something."
Serena intervened, "We ran into each other in the hallway. She was looking for some advice about her love life with Dan. I'm not exactly experienced in the area that she needs, so I thought that you could help."
Vanessa and Blair gave her the same look like she was absolutely insane to think that they would ever discuss something intimate or anything at all. Serena widened her eyes in emphasis and shifted her head towards Blair. She wanted Blair to initiate the discussion. When Blair and Vanessa ended up in a stare-down, Serena rolled her eyes and tried to establish a dialogue between the two.
"From the numerous times, I have accidently stumbled onto Chuck's and Blair's extracurricular activities, I know that she can tell you what you need to know, Vanessa. B, it's that thing that really dirty thing that you claim Chuck makes you do. Remember that time you and Chuck were desecrating the desk in Bart's office, and I walked in on the two of you. You told me that you do it to please him, but you secretly lo . . ." she explained.
"S! Why don't you get that outfit you came over to borrow, and I will deal with this," Blair scowled at Vanessa. Serena rose from the bright pink settee with a victorious smile and headed towards Blair's closet. Dorota made the sign of the cross as Blair got up from her seat across from the couch. She calmly opened the top drawer of her dresser and pulled out three items. As primly as any society matron, she returned to her seat and sat down on it as if it was a throne.
"Listen. Don't talk and no questions," Blair instructed harshly as she handed over the items from her dresser.
"Ms. Blair!" Dorota exclaimed when she saw the items, "God watches you and Mr. Chuck always!"
"And the INS could be watching you if you don't remember your place," Blair snapped. Then, she turned back to the spot darkening her pristine room and continued her lecture, "Shower before you let Dumpty touch you unless you want a gigantic mess at the end, the cleaner the better. Always make him wear a condom. It makes cleanup easier and keeps him safe. Keep moistened clothes near . . . where you do things with Humphrey. I suggest the antibiotic kind. You never know what he is carrying."
Vanessa looked at the pile of items in her lap. Her face was contorted in horror as she mentally fought against the mental image of Chuck and Blair together. Trying to touch the items as little as possible, she pushed them onto the settee next to her. Swallowing down the bile coming up her throat, she paused before regrettably asking, "Is that it all?"
Rolling her eyes, Blair visually cringed as she inquired, "How far have you and Humphrey gone?"
Vanessa frowned deeply. Shooting a grimace at Serena, she saw the blonde dig through her friend's closet humming loudly to drown out their current conversation. Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, she wondered, "How much did you need to know?"
"God!" Blair exclaimed pleading with the silent deity, "Just tell me what you did the night this started."
In a hushed voice, Vanessa rushed through the events as undetailed as she could, "He went down on me. I pushed him down and stayed on top. Then, well . . . he used his finger unexpectedly."
Blair grimaced deeply revealing every frown line on her face. She cursed under her breath and promised herself that she would look up ways of removing this memory from her mind. Shuddering, she heard Vanessa finish her description with their romps on Dan's desk and against the refrigerator. Instead of blocking a picture of Brooklyn's Filthiest, she remembered all the things that Chuck had pushed for last night.
"Where did Dan get the idea for all your sex adventures?" Blair asked out of nowhere.
"Excuse me," Vanessa responded with revulsion, "It was his idea."
"I'm sure," Blair replied swallowing her anger. Suddenly, she just wanted film girl out of her room quickly. Rapidly, she said, "Have Humphrey start slowly. Have him repeat what he did a few times before moving on. Start with one finger, then two, and so on. Oh, use lubrication every time to cut down on discomfort. Most importantly, tell Humphrey to piss off if you don't wish to continue with said activities. Dorota, show this out."
Vanessa had bit her tongue through the entire conversation with Blair. The last statement set her off, but Dorota interceded just in time to prevent World War III. Dorota handed her a wrapped pastry and motioned for her to leave the discarded items on the couch. Carefully, she made sure that Blair was distracted before speaking to Vanessa. She whispered, "Ms. Vanessa, it is best not to push. Ms. Blair in bad mood, but Ms. Serena right. Mr. Chuck do many things to my Ms. Blair. She know many bad things now."
Vanessa gave Dorota a nod biting her tongue. Blair yelled out from the closet as she helped Serena, "V, you should ask Humpty Dumpty where he gets all his clever ideas."
Vanessa growled aloud when the door closed before she could say something snide in remark. She walked away cursing her luck. Why did she have to run into Serena in the first place?
Blair pulled a short black skirt from Serena's hands and handed her a longer chocolate colored one. Serena raised her eyebrow in doubt for a second before shrugging her shoulders in acceptance. She rested the conservative white blouse and pencil skirt on the bed and returned to her seat. She kicked the lubricant and condoms resting in her seat onto the floor with her shoe. Then, she sat down where Vanessa had sat. She smiled at Dorota when she took the cup of tea offered.
"So, why did you need to urgently raid my closet?" Blair asked as she took her cup of tea gracefully.
"Mmm . . ." Serena lightly blushed sipping her tea, "I didn't have anything conservative enough for my date with Nate."
"When did you start dressing for boys, and when did Nate start liking the prim and proper look?" Blair asked doubtfully.
"It's more to do with the game we have planned," she admitted.
"You mean like school master and bad little pupil," Blair replied reminiscing fondly.
"No," Serena shuddered for a moment figuring Blair was recalling a personal experience, "It's more like late night at the office between lonely businessman and secretary."
"It seems everyone is growing adventurous this week?" Blair commented in general.
"I'm just returning a favor. Nate played out one of my fantasies, so I'm doing the same," Serena explained.
"He held your ice cream while you danced around in a foundation. I'm sure your see-thru dress was all the thanks he needed," Blair smiled devilishly.
"No. It wasn't my Italian film fantasy. It was the one I had about the shower," Serena beamed involuntarily, "He made me face the faucet and whispered little suggestions into my ear from behind. He barely grazed my skin before I was tingling all over. It made me feel so alive."
Blair had a moment of déjà vu like the one she had with Vanessa. The things that Serena described were eerily similar to the things that Chuck and she had done the previous evening. Then, reality dawned on her. She interrupted Serena, "Damn that basstard!"
"Blair, what's wrong?" Serena asked considered.
"It's nothing," Blair tempered her features putting on her fake smile, "I just remembered that I have to punish Chuck later."
"Okay," Serena responded completely lost.
Avoiding the topic, Blair suggested. "You should borrow the red tie in the second drawer down in the dresser. Chuck loves it. It's extra long, so I can bound his hands together and tie him down to the bed before I . . ."
"B, that's disgusting. How many times do I have to remind that I never need details about Chuck's sex life?" Serena squealed.
"I just had to sit here and listen to details about Humpty Dumpty's sex life. Now, where was I," Blair responded with an evil smirk.
A/N: Funny, right? Or, did I make Blair too harsh?
