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"So you left the horn with Trumpkin at Cair Paravel?" Peter repeated, what Caspian had just told them, to be sure that he had understood it right.

"Yes, he acts as my regent, while I am away and I gave the horn to him to use if any great need fell on the land in my absence!" Caspian explained further.

"And Trumpkin wouldn't blow the horn, if it wasn't something extremely important, would he?" Peter asked, knowing the answer exactly.

"Peter, you know him, he would never do such a thing!" Lucy pre-empted Caspian, her voice sounding reproachfully, that he even had that thought.

Peter nodded and started pacing the room, not knowing what to say.

Then Caspian piped up, clearly hesitating, "We have to get back to Narnia! The people need us, they are in danger!" And although his voice was steady, one could see that he was in a conflict. Well he was the current king of Narnia and so his first obligation were his people. But he couldn't look at Susan, still feeling guilty about what had happened to her family members, knowing that coming to the aid of his people, meant letting down her family.

"But what about Edmund and Eustace?" Lucy asked the question, that all of them had in their minds.

"Yeah, Peter! What about Edmund and Eustace?" Susan nearly shouted in anger about everything that was just happening, "They are out there somewhere, bleeding or freezing to death! We don't even know if they are still alive but stop searching for them would mean their death, you know that!"

"Of course, I know that, Susan!" Peter yelled at her, losing his temper, asking himself if this could get any worse. He knew that this was his decision, not only because he was (had been) the high king of Narnia, but also because he was the oldest in the family and he had always been the one, deciding what was best for them, but now. He knew that whatever he would decide, they would follow him, with lots of protest of course.

Nearly every great leader had to make this decision once, the decision between rescuing his people or his family, deciding between the greater good and the people that you love. He had always thought that the answer was clear. As a king you need to put your own needs behind, need to make sacrifices. But was that sacrifice worth it?

Peter knew that there was only one right answer, the loss of so many against the loss of two.

And in his mind he had already made the decision, but his heart was fighting, fighting for his little brother, fighting for his cousin, fighting for the welfare of his family.

He had always loved to be a high king, to be able to make his own decisions, to be able to change something, but right now he wished back his easy life in England, where he had just been one out of thousands, his decisions only affecting himself and his family.

But maybe this was because Aslan had sent him back; maybe this was a lesson he needed to learn. What would Aslan want him to do? He knew the answer, but was afraid to speak it out loud, knowing that whatever he decided had terrible consequences.

He looked around the room, in which there was a depressing silence, looking in each face. Lucy had already tears in her eyes and Peter knew that she would understand his decision; she would have faith in him as she had in Aslan, knowing that the sound of the horn was a sign for them from Aslan.

Caspian was looking at him hopefully, fearing for his own people, but there was an expression in his eyes that told Peter that also for Caspian, the decision hadn't been an easy one to make.

Then he looked at Susan, recognizing not only anger in her eyes, but also hurt, fear and vulnerability. He knew how much it had cost her to live on her life in England, how difficult it had been for her to leave Narnia. He knew about her feelings towards Caspian and how torturing this was for her. And he knew that she would be angry with him because in her eyes he was taking sides with Caspian, in her eyes he was letting down his family and to her, after everything she had lost, they had lost, family was the most important thing, well the only thing that had left for her really. But he knew that one day she would understand his decision.

Then he thought of Edmund, asking himself what decision his little brother would make. Wasn't letting Edmund down a betrayal to his family, like the betrayal Edmund had done, helping the white witch? Peter knew that this was the most awful thing one could do. But on the other side Aslan had called him King Edmund, The Just, and Peter knew that there was just one just answer.

"We are sailing back to Narnia! Our people need us!" Peter finally spoke out the decision, he had made a long time ago in his head.

Caspian just nodded pitiful, knowing how hard this decision had been, Lucy buried her head in the pillow next to her on the bed and started crying and Susan looked like she would explode any minute.

"Edmund needs us too, Peter! And Eustace! How can you sacrifice them? Blood is thicker than water! How can you let them die?" Susan screamed, tears of grief and frustration running down her cheeks.

"Do you think that this is easy for me? I know perfectly what this decision means! But Edmund would do the same if he was in my place. As a king your first responsibility is your people and your country. And I swear the day Narnia is safe again, I come back here and find Edmund and Eustace, even if I have to go to the end of the world, even if I have to go to Aslan's country and beg him on knees, I swear I will bring them back!" Peter yelled, making the walls trembling.

Susan stood up, building herself up in front of Peter, "And as a brother your first responsibility should be your family!" And with this she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.


Susan hated ships and boats. There were too little places to hide, too little places to be alone, especially now that they were sailing day and night to get back to Narnia as fast as possible, there was no time that everybody was sleeping and that silence fell on the Dawn Treader.

And being alone was what Susan needed now. She boiled with rage. For the moment she was sitting on the floor in a tiny broom closet, it was quite uncomfortable but that didn't matter to her. She had gone through so worse things than a hard ground and some splinters in her skin.

She needed to be alone till she had calmed down, although she wasn't quite sure if that would ever happen! She was angry with everybody, even with Edmund and Eustace!

After all they were the reason that she was back in Narnia. How dared they falling, jumping or whatever into the sea and getting lost?

And Lucy was so blind. Her indestructible pain in Aslan made Susan fret and fume. How could she still have faith in him after he let this happen?

And then there was Peter... How dared he...? He let Edmund down; he let the whole family down. But worst of all he took sides with Caspian. He knew how she felt about him and how much it had cost her to live her life on in England. Peter had never liked Caspian that much himself and now back in Narnia he fraternized with him.

And Caspian, why did he always have to be the hero? Rescuing her from the water, she would have preferred drowning in it to going through this hell again! Would she? She remembered the wonderful feeling when he carried her in his arms, when their lips touched...

No, she couldn't let this happen anymore. She just couldn't. She wouldn't stand losing her heart once more. She wouldn't stand leaving him once more.

And Aslan, well, where to begin? He was juggling their lives like balls, sending them from one world to the other without taking notice of their feelings and wishes, changing his mind all the time. One day he was telling them they were never to come back and the next day he thought otherwise. Oh, but he was the Great Aslan, he had his reasons for everything, bla bla bla!

Nobody had the right to decide about her life but herself and she hadn't wanted to come back, had she? Well, she had dreamed about coming back, about living her life in Narnia, but not like this, not with the price of her brother's death, not with the insecurity of not knowing what to do and why exactly they were here, not with the constant fear that she may have to return the next day. That was just not fair.

And now they were supposed to come to Narnia's rescue again, after everything they had already done for Narnia, after everything they had already sacrificed for Narnia, Aslan expected them to sacrifice their brother's and their cousin's life. How could he?

And he didn't even appear to them, telling them what he wanted them to do. He just expected them to do the right thing. In the time of struggle he wasn't there for them...

Suddenly Susan's thought were interrupted, when the door of the broom closet flied open and Lucy was standing in front of her.

"Susan, here you are! We've been looking for you everywhere!" Lucy said reproachfully. "What are you doing in a broom closet?"

"I need some time on my own!" Susan hissed, looking angrily at her younger sister.

But as she caught glimpse of Lucy's sad face and her tear-stained eyes, Susan immediately regretted her harsh words. Maybe she had been a bit too selfish, it was a hard time for all of them and everybody had his own ways to deal with it. "Look, I am sorry! I didn't mean to be mean to you. It's just..."

"I know it's hard for you to be back... but you know how hard this decision has been for Peter! So, please, don't be angry at him! Go and talk to him! You know he did the right thing!" Lucy said, hugging her sister, who was still sitting on the ground and then leaving her again with her thoughts, not having anything else to say.

For a while Susan just starred through the door that Lucy had kept open, in the hallway. Maybe she should really talk to Peter. She wouldn't apologize, no, she hadn't done anything wrong and she still thought that they should have stayed, searching for Edmund and Eustace but she could tell him that she wasn't angry at him.

So she searched for Peter, finding him in one of the chambers, studying maps and plans with Caspian.

"Your Majesty!" the young king immediately bowed, when he saw her stepping into the room. Susan frowned at his sight. Peter just nodded his head, not knowing if she was still angry or not, deciding it was best to act normal.

"Can you leave us alone for a moment, please?" she asked in a harsh voice Caspian, who owed again and left the room immediately, seeming more than glad to be able to leave.

As Peter was just looking at her expectantly, Susan began to speak. "I just wanted to tell you that I am not angry at you anymore. You made the decision that you think is right and I have to live with that!"

"I know it looked like I am taking sides with Caspian and I know that that hurt you! I am sorry for that but I couldn't help it! I love you, Su! I would never hurt you on purpose!" Peter had approached Susan and had laid one hand on her shoulder. As she didn't made any attempts to speak he continued, "I know how hard this is for you! I know that you would rather like to be in England than here... and you have every right to be angry because of that! But please Susan, I need you to do something, not for me but for yourself! You have to forgive Aslan!"

"I am sorry, Peter, but that is something you can't expect from me. That's just something I can't do!" Susan shook her head, tiptoed to give her brother a kiss on the cheek and left the room.

Peter looked after his sister thoughtfully and murmured, "Then let's hope that He will forgive you in the end!"


Well what do you think? I hope it wasn't boring and I hope Susan isn't getting too unsympathetic!

Well reviews would be great as always - thanks to those who reviewed so far! You're simply the best!! :)