Fear.
In their group of friends, everyone had their role. Johnny was the older brother, fiercely protective and loyal to a fault. Turtle was the casual sidekick, always good for a laugh and up for a party. Vince was the careless free spirit with the heart of gold, forever acting on instinct and having total faith in the people he trusted most. And Eric was the wise one, the one who looked out for everyone and acted cautiously because he would hold himself responsible if things went south. They each had a part to play and took that very seriously.
However, there were times when a different side would inevitably would come out and send everything slightly off kilter. When Turtle got sick with the flu in sixth grade, it was Eric that he relied on to make him laugh after being stuck in bed for days. After Johnny had been unable to protect Vince from the bully a few streets over the summer before freshman year, Turtle had been the first one to go after Billy Hardwick with the full weight of his very awkward fourteen-year-old body. The day that Vince lost his cool when he fought with his mom, Johnny had worked diligently for hours to convince him that it wasn't worth worrying about. And when Eric had been a terrified kid at the movie theater, it was Vince that is right there to watch over his best friend in the world.
"C'mon, E, I'll even buy you popcorn," Vince whispered in his ear one afternoon when they're thirteen and Turtle is trying to convince him to see The Shining, "and I won't even tell anyone if you need to hold my hand."
Eric slanted his eyes at Vince and grimaced defiantly. Vince knew that nightmares had plagued Eric ever since they had snuck into see the original Halloween last year when they had skipped school. "I'm not scared," he lied, crossing his arms over his chest as he tapped his foot impatiently. "Just buy the damn tickets and let's go. I don't want to miss the previews."
The whole crew knew that it was a lie, but it didn't really matter. Johnny was too old to be hanging out with a bunch of middle school kids but had agreed to drive them into the city to catch the matinée. He was a few people ahead of them in line with Turtle, both of them talking animately about the Mets game that afternoon. They were still high from the mellow herb Vince had conned off Allison Harper yesterday. Maybe that was what had E on edge, Vince considered for a moment before shaking his head.
Drama waved them out of line a few minutes later and led them into the buzzing theater. Vince strutted after his brother like they owned the place. The Chase confidence had been evident even then. Turtle was happy to be flanking Vince's side, smiling at the cute girl behind the counter as they waited for their junk food and sodas. Eric hung back a little, happy to watch as always and hoping that he could just make it through the next two hours without totally bitching out. The last thing he needed was to be taunted again after that whole thing last week when he had refused to give the guys the details of kissing Jillian Ashford. If he freaked out during The Shining, he was never going to live it down.
"Let's go, E!" Vince called, breaking Eric out of his stupor. Eric's head snapped up with a curt nod before he followed his best friend through the crowds of people. The guys filed in behind a pair of cute blondes that seemed to catch Turtle's eye. Thankfully for Johnny, they were being accompanied by an older sibling. The twosome soon struck up a conversation, and Eric expected Vince to jump in as their third. However, he seemed completely focused on Eric as he steered him into a row of seats near the back.
Eric was used to tagging along on dates with Vince. Even though they were still just kids, Vince had seen more active than guys twice his age. Eric was content to watch from afar, preferring the untouchable girls like Katrina Angelo that didn't need to put out to get noticed. More than that, he got to live vicariously through Vince, hearing about all his pursuits in detail when they were huddled up in his bedroom at night. Those girls might have Vince's attention during the day sometimes, but Eric still got most of his nights. He knew that it wouldn't be like that forever and with star potential like his, Eric would eventually have to share his best friend with the world.
It took roughly twenty minutes into the movie before Eric gasped aloud for the first time. He was on edge, trying not to close his eyes at the scarier parts or grip Vince's arm in reaction. When he finally did reach out for his friend, Vince was right there to offer his forearm. Eric dug his nails in his sienna skin for about thirty seconds before Vince reached down to extract his hand. Rather than returning it to his own armrest, Vince slid his fingers into Eric's and held it loosely in his lap. This was new for both of them but neither of them acknowledged it. They just kept their eyes glued to the screen, though Vince does notice that Eric relaxes back into his seat a little more and breathes easier.
When the house lights came up and everyone started to move around, Vince and Eric stayed in their seats. Eric watched Turtle follow the girls out with Johnny but did't make a move to go after them. He just stayed frozen in his red velvet seat, waiting for Vince to let go or to say something that would turn everything into a joke. When he doesn't, Eric squeezed his fingers a little to get a reaction. Vince tightened his grip slightly before loosening again. It was a conscious act this point, to be holding hands like that. It's both a little scary and unexpectedly thrilling to be there with him.
"So what'd you think of the movie?" Vince asked, his eyes still fixed on the screen. The theater was empty now, the fluttering of the protector still humming above them. The pimple-faced teens that cleaned the room after the movies hadn't came in yet. "Was it as scary as you though it would be?"
"I don't know, it somehow didn't seem so bad."
"Yeah?" Vince chuckled as he finally looked at Eric for the first time. A light twinkled in his best friend's gaze, a genuine happiness that only Vince seemed to be able to evoke. "So, um...this is weird, huh?" Eric laughed and nodded, lifting their clasped hands in gesture. "But it's not a bad weird."
"Not bad weird," Eric agreed. They both knew that it wasn't acceptable. Vince had to have a tough skin with his artistic aspirations, while Eric's mom employed enough Catholic guilt to make the Pope repent. "I think the guys ditched us."
"So maybe we just take the subway home."
"So maybe we do that," Eric nodded. Vince let go of his hand reluctantly. As much as this felt okay between them, it wasn't acceptable in Queens. The chances that someone would see them were too high, but that doesn't stop Vince from slinging his arm around Eric's shoulders in a friendly gesture. It stayed like that on the train, where Eric was so tired that it took all he had not to just rest his head against Vince's and doze. His best friend was warm beside him and comforting. It felt safe.
It was some thirty minutes later that Vince shook him awake and led him out onto the dark streets. Eric wondered briefly how long it took Drama or Turtle to realize that they were missing but soon forgot it when Vince's hand slid down his arm, over his wrist and found his hand in the darkness. Vince walked him back to his house and didn't let go until they were standing safely at Eric's door beneath the dim glow of the porch light.
"Safe and sound, just like I promised," Vince whispered, knowing that Eric's parents were likely watching television in the living room and would be able to hear them through the open window.
"Yeah, safe like you promised," Eric replied softly. "Do you wanna come in? Ma probably has leftovers in there, maybe some pie or something."
"Nah, I should probably get home. Ma will have my ass if I don't show up for dinner at least once night this week. She keeps telling me that I can't keep eating you all out of house and home, even though I keep telling her your mom doesn't mind."
"Alright, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at the bus stop."
"Yeah, same time, same place, same station," Vince deadpanned before hopping down the steps. His Chuck Taylors had a hole in them and Eric was suddenly very fixated on it. "We had fun today, E, didn't we?"
"Yeah, Vin, we had fun." Eric had to reassure Vince even then. Vince waved over his shoulder before starting down the sidewalk to his house three doors down. He was just about to head up his own walkway when he turned on his heel and sprinted back to where Eric was watching him from the porch. He pressed his lips to Eric's quickly, catching his best friend off guard. Vince pulled back and smiled at Eric happily. Eric leaned in again to kiss Vince more fully this time, his eyes not even darting around to see if anyone is watching. Then he heard his father cough from the living room and Vince jerked away suddenty and the magic was gone.
"Later, E."
Eric finds himself wondering hours later if Vince's departing words were just a casual goodbye or an exciting promise. It takes him twenty years and another night of watching The Shining for him to get his answer. They're sitting in the comfort of Vince's home theater this time, Turtle and Johnny sprawled out in the seats in front of them still high as a kite. Eric jumps a little in the first scary sequence of the movie, all those old feelings rushing back to him. Vince's hand inevitably finds his and holds him steady throughout the rest of the movie, and this time, when he walks Eric home, he doesn't have to go any further than to the end of the hall. Vince kisses Eric outside the doorway once again, this time pressing him against the wall until they're both breathless. When Drama's unsubtle cough fails to break them apart and Turtle's confused cursing doesn't faze them, they both finally acknowledge that maybe there was something to this and Eric decides The Shining is his all-time favorite movie.
