I've begun to notice that in show, Kaz has this very bad habit of running off and doing his own thing; which leaves Sarah, Peyton, and Tom hanging out by themselves. No wonder Kaz gets himself into so much trouble…
The Files of Kazdan Kalinkas
Book Three: Shadow of a Boy
Chapter Four: Cure For the Common Code
"I'm losing my identity, one hundred percent of me."
I still wasn't sleeping like I should have been.
Hanging out with my friends helped but it didn't help enough. I could get a couple of hours of blissful sleep until the nightmares started haunting me. At that point I'd go downstairs, turn on the TV, mute it, and sit there on the couch until morning in a daze.
School didn't make it any better. The press that had been hanging around before had gotten into trouble—whether it was with the principal, the mayor, or both I'm not sure. Either way, they were gone. But my nosy fellow classmates were not. When Tom was around, they left me well enough alone but if they caught me by myself they'd stare and some of them would even question me. I ignored them as best I could.
Still, even through all that, I was happier than I thought I had ever been in my entire life. I was home and there was nothing else I wanted more in the world than to stay there forever.
Except maybe…revenge.
I hadn't told anyone. It hung like a dark cloud in the back of my mind. Revenge against Chaor and the other UnderWorlders that had ruined my life, to be able to watch them suffer as I had suffered, to make them understand the agony I had been through. The grudge in my heart was a burning hot spot of anger.
But I tried forgot about, pushed it aside, and went on with my life.
"Kaz!" I looked over my shoulder just in time to see Mike throw his arms around me in a huge hug, "Wow! I didn't know you'd come back to Chaotic! When'd you do that!?"
"Mmpph, Mike!" I pushed him off of me, straightening my glasses.
"Friend of yours?" Sarah asked with a half smile.
"Yeah, uh, this is Mike." I said and Mike waved enthusiastically, "Mike this is Sarah and Peyton. And you already know Tom."
"Oooohhhhh, you're friends with the PeytonicMaster!?" Mike was acting like he'd just met a famous move star or something, "That's so cool!" Peyton grinned and I rolled my eyes, "Oh, oh, Kaz, I have a favor to ask you!"
"Yeah, what?"
"Will you have a Drome match against me?"
Everything seemed to freeze for a split second. I stared at the milkshake in my hands but I could feel everyone else's eyes on me. I licked my lips and said,
"No."
"Aaaaawwwww, why not?" Mike was actually whining.
"I don't…play in the Drome anymore, Mike. Don't ask me why!" Mike shut his mouth quickly, "I just don't. Sorry."
Mike looked deflated. He turned and walked away, dragging his feet as he went. Sarah, Peyton, and Tom watched him go. I drained the last of my milkshake.
"You're still not sleeping at all, are you?" Sarah asked me in a low voice.
"A little bit. Mom's taking me to see the doctor tomorrow so I'm just going to stay in Chaotic all day." I responded.
"How will that help?" Tom asked.
"It will help me on the inside." I said jokingly and we all laughed.
"Well, well, well, look who's back in town…!" There was only one person that sneering voice could belong to. We all looked around at Klay, Krystella at his side as per usual. He was standing there with that snooty look he got on his face whenever he was acting superior. Which was usually all the time.
"Grounded for a year with no Chaotic, that must've been hard for you." Krystella laughed, "But you know, I heard you'd gone missing in the real world…"
Alarm bells went off in my head. Who had told them? I looked around at my friends but they all looked just as shocked as I felt.
"Wondering who spilled the beans?" Klay grinned, "It was your scrawny friend over there." He indicated Mike who was across the Port Court, talking with another player, "It just took a bit of conversation starter. He's got a bit of a mouth on him."
"Go away." Tom snapped.
"Or what?" Klay smirked and I glared at him, "Oooohhh, that's a scary look. I don't think I've ever seen that one before."
"Really? I would have thought you're mother would have given it to you plenty of times." I said before I could stop myself. Everyone gasped and Klay's face turned pink with rage.
"You better watch that disgusting mouth of yours, Kalinkas…!" He growled, fists clenched.
"That's what your mom said about your face." I retorted flatly.
"Kaz!" Tom whispered sharply but I ignored him. Klay was trembling in anger, holding back his urge to punch my lights out.
"Don't…say," His voice quavered as he ground out the words, "Another…word!"
"Why? You gonna hit me?" I kept egging him on. Why was I doing this? Why was I poking at him?
"I might." Klay answered back hotly.
"Do you hit your mom, too?"
He was on me in a second.
Klay grabbed the front of my skirt, getting a handful of my scarf along with it, and yanked me out of my seat, pulling me towards him with a snarl, "Insult my family one more time, Kalinkas, I bloody dare you!"
I could feel the eyes of pretty much everyone in the Port Court watching us, anticipating a fight. I was scared of that but I couldn't stop the next words from coming out of my mouth, "You must have been conceived at home 'cause that's where eighty percent of all accidents happen."
Klay's eyes blazed with fury and he raised a fist to punch me. I grabbed the hand that was holding me, twisted it, and threw him to the ground. He shouted in surprise as he slammed into the tile floor. But he only stayed down for a second before leaping up again and lunging at me.
"Klay! Stop it, you idiot!" Krystella shouted but she was almost drowned out by the cries of the on-looking players. They were cheering and shouting and egging us on.
I sidestepped Klay's punch and stuck my foot out, hoping to trip him. He jumped it and leapt at me again, hitting me in the face and sending me stumbling backwards. It hadn't been a very hard punch, not compared to what I'd been hit with, but it was hard enough to knock my glasses off and make my cheek sting. Cold fire was burning in my stomach and everything was suddenly sharper.
I dodged Klay's follow-up swing and grabbed the arm he'd just thrown in my direction. Klay's eyes widened and he tried to pull away but I tightened my grip. The on-lookers cheered loudly. I yanked Klay forward, bringing up my leg at the same time and ramming my knee into his gut. He choked and went limp, falling sideways to the floor and curling into a ball, groaning. I stood over him, the cold fire gone only to be replaced with hot anger. That had felt good. I gritted my teeth and glared down at him, daring him to get back up.
Klay rolled into a sitting position, one hand on his midriff, breathing unevenly. He turned a glare up at me and I met it with my own. His own slowly melted away into a looked of wonder and confusion. The red film on my brain made it difficult to process exactly what had brought on that reaction but when it did I panicked and clamped my mouth and turned my gaze away. Klay gave a shaky smirk of triumph.
It was too late.
He'd seen my eyes and the unnatural sharpness of my canines.
Krystella helped him to his feet and helped him limp away, glaring at me all the while. I knelt down and retrieved my glasses. I should have been more careful. I shouldn't have let my temper take control of me.
"Kaz! That was amazing!" Someone clapped me on the back and I looked around. It was another player. Others were giving their consent, cheering and joking, "You showed that scamming Klayotic who's boss! Man, I would've loved to be the one to do that!"
"Yeah, that was sweet!"
"Dude, you rock!"
"Where'd you learn to do stuff like that!?"
"Klay had it coming!"
I couldn't believe my ears. They must have been blind or stupid. Maybe both. Apparently they didn't know me like I thought they did. Maybe that was a good thing. I glanced around at Tom, Sarah, and Peyton as the crowd dispersed, still talking animatedly about the fight.
Sarah looked…disappointed. Guilt settled on my shoulders. She shook her head at me as though saying, "I can't believe you, Kaz. I thought you were better than that." Then she turned and walked away.
Peyton was just staring at me with this blank look on his face. I swallowed and shrugged apologetically. His brow furrowed as though he was trying to figure something out. Then he sat down at the table and didn't look at me again. My stomach flip-flopped.
I turned to Tom, opening my mouth to apologize, but his expression stopped me cold. He was distraught—or something very close to it—and angry.
"Why'd you do that, Kaz?" He asked.
"I…I dunno…" I muttered, "I didn't mean to. I didn't…I…" But there was no excuse. Because a part of me had wanted to do it. I felt cold and sick, "I never should have come back here!"
I ran past him for the Transport Center.
"Kaz! Kaz, no, wait!"
I ignored him, pulled out my Scanner, and ported home.
I never should have stayed.
I should have gone home that first day.
It was stupid to think that by hanging out in Chaotic; that acting like nothing had happened; could erase what I had done. Nothing could change the past.
Tom was still calling my name when I ported out.
I was sitting on my top bunk with my face in my hands, my back against the wall with my knees drawn up to my chest. Down on the floor, my Code Scanner was lying where I'd dropped it next to my scarf and glasses. I'd gotten my Code back ten minutes ago and as soon it had processed, I'd dropped my Scanner and dashed up to the top bunk.
I needed to think.
I'd deliberately pushed Klay's buttons to make him angry at me. Not to necessarily get into a fight; he'd started that; but to simply vent. I'd been restless and uneasy ever since I'd come home but I'd pushed those feelings to the back of my mind when I'd started lingering with my friends in Chaotic.
Now that had been dashed away from me.
I'd gotten into a fight with Klay and had beat him down. Not terribly but I'd hurt him. And there was a part of me that had liked it and that terrified me. It made me feel cold on the inside, it made me feel sick, and it made me hate Chaor even more.
"Kaz?" I looked up sharply and saw my dad lingering in the doorway to my room. He seemed confused when he found me sitting up on my top bunk. I usually didn't go up there, rather using it for "storage." He walked a little ways into the room, "Supper's almost ready."
"I'm not hungry." I answered in a low voice, running my hand through my hair. Strands of it fell out of the spiked style and into my face.
My dad walked farther into my room, shut the door, and moved slowly up to my bunk. He climbed halfway up the ladder and then leaned forward so his arms were resting over the edge, "What's wrong?"
"Everything." I muttered, not looking at him.
"The world's just going to pieces?"
"Yeah."
My dad hauled himself the rest of the way up the ladder and sat down on the edge of the bed, "Did you want to talk about it?"
"I dunno…it's hard." I crossed my arms over my knees and put my face in them, "I wish I could change the past."
My dad didn't say anything for a little bit. Then he reached out and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me towards him. I resisted, slightly, but eventually gave in and scooted over to his side,
"There's not a thing in the world that I could say to make you feel better right now." My dad said, "I can't relate to what happened to you—no one can. All I can offer is my comfort as a father." He hugged me.
All that cold sickness seeped out of me and was replaced with that same warm feeling I had around my friends. That feeling that someone cared. At some point, I realized that this was helping me, was healing me, was making it easier to live with happened.
I couldn't stay away from what was making me feel better.
"You feeling better?" My dad jostled my shoulder and I looked up at him.
"Eh…yeah," I said with a half-smile, "Can I go home with Tom tomorrow?"
"Mmmmmm," Dad tapped a finger to his chin thoughtfully, "I'd say yes but you'd better ask your mother."
"Alright." He stepped down the ladder and I followed him, "Hey Dad," He paused, reaching for the door handle, "I won't disappear again, I promise."
My dad looked a little startled but then he smiled and opened my door, "I know."
For some reason, I felt like I was lying.
Song: Cure For the Common Code from Chaotic (which they have now played twice, congratulations; but the second time doesn't count 'cause that episode was BS, 'scuse my language)
Stupid short chapter. Well, shorter than I wanted it to be. But hey, something interesting happened. Kaz did something stupid! Ha, ha. Though he kinda does stupid things all the time so I don't know how much a stretch this was…
All the same! Just so you know, I do believe that under any other circumstances Klay could totally beat Kaz in a fist fight. But considering the training Kaz went through in the UW, it just makes sense that he'd beat Klay. And I have nothing against Klay. He's a good character.
There are too many people in this show with the letter "K" at the beginning of their names…
