Disclaimer: The ideas and concepts used in BLEACH belong to Tite Kubo, as well as any regular characters. Most of the characters in this story belong to me. Thank you.


Unohana Manor: The most prestigious estate in the stark and forested countryside! It's owner, the beautiful genius of spiritual manipulation Rei Unohana, is the second generation of the Unohana family. She took her mother's work and advanced upon it a hundred fold! It is rumored, though not confirmed, that she has visited the world where Hollows come from! He knowledge is the greatest in the entire spirit world!

Not only is her scientific prestige amazing, but she is a wonderful humanitarian. In addition to her research obligations she has opened her mansion as a permanent home for children orphaned by soldiers in this cataclysmic war. She is the one person the world associates with kindness and humane activism.

And now Shin Kenpachi and group have fallen in place within these walls. What ironic luck they have...


In the garden of the manor, Hoji had retreated and settled near the pond that was surrounded by wild and beautiful growth. He had been seen breaking down and finished it in private. Now, he was silently sulking at his reflection in the koi pond, watching the fish swim by and make ripples in the water. This silence continued despite Suichi's obvious presence from behind.

"You alright?" Suichi eventually asked. Hoji nodded and propped his sword up in his lap against his shoulder.

"My back hurts a bit" Hoji admitted. "That's about it physically."

"Mentally?" Suichi asked. No response. "You're not an open man, I know that. Still, you should at least see Lady Unohana. She can help you more than I could."

"Drugs and booze won't lift this kind of pain" Hoji said. "Maybe booze will, but I'd need a lot of it." Hoji forced out a brief chuckle and Suichi even laughed once at his remark. "Honestly, I don't know what to feel right now. I'm kind of swimming in my emotions..."

"What kind of emotions?" Suichi asked. "I've witnessed grief before, trust me. There were times early on when I wanted to break my cover and jump out from the wall, screaming 'I'm sorry! It was me!'...That's just how we have to live our life. We're soldiers of chance. Manzenryuu. If one of us gets an arm lobbed off we can only be hopeful that we run into a place like this to get it sewn back on."

"Tch" Hoji smirked. "I guess that's true. But you must feel similar, right? You're not entirely emotionless...I've never seen Shin struggle to that point. In fact...I can't remember when Shin wasn't able to just brush off his shoulders and walk away from the poor bastard he just cut up...I've only seen him as a winner and a fighter. Seeing him like this...I feel like I've lost faith in what I gave to him."

"That's understandable" Suichi said.

"Not really" Hoji said. "I mean, Shin's power destroyed an entire town accidentally. He moved the clouds and warped the whole sky on a whim! He was a god, a real pure-blooded Shinigami for a second there! Now, after accessing all that power and strength for only a moment, he's nearly dead. It makes me, his student, think that true power is just impossible. If I get that strong, and I can't take that hit, am I just gonna die!?" Suichi couldn't phrase what he wanted to say. He felt like any of his own personal advice would get swept away in a quick brush by Hoji.

"Well, I don't know" Suichi finally said. "Honestly, Hoji, I can't relate to your problem. My only moral problems come from having to kill people who can't fight back. You'd never do that, and neither would Shin. I'll say this: turn this dread into excitement like you always seem to do. Shin's brush with death shouldn't be a barrier to hold you back, but a limit for you to push. The sooner you surpass his limit, the sooner you'll be able to say 'Look Shin, I'm just as powerful as you now!' And I know how much you want to say that."

"Not that I'll ever get to" Hoji said with a forced smile. "Once he wakes up, he's gonna realize the same thing and train until the damn sky starts falling...again. Tch!" Suichi was confident in Hoji's good mod, fake or not.

He'll figure it out Suichi told himself. Then he left, and Hoji was alone once again to stare at the fish and think...


"How is he?" Rei asked the shadow on the wall. Down fell Suichi, reporting on his assumed theory.

"Just like I thought" Suichi said. "I have no idea how an animal's mind works..."

"Be patient with your friends" Rei scolded. Suichi looked down at her, mending the broken and tattered robes of Suichi's friends on the floor, and returned to staring blankly ahead.

"Assassins aren't known for their empathy" Suichi admitted. "It's a little hard to put myself in his place."

"Is it really?" Rei asked. "You thought he'd be afraid, and and he was. You can't say that you can't relate to fear..." Suichi picked up on the point Rei tried to give him and remembered something. A long time ago, in his early apprentice years of the art of assassination, Suichi found himself under the care and mercy of Rei Unohana.

"Thank you..." Suichi of the past said to his merciful caregiver over him. Rei in the past was a pretty and refined as she is now, and back then she had no slack in her genius of medicine either. Suichi, lacking most of the muscle on his shoulder, was lying on the floor and breathing heavily.

"I needn't thank me" Rei said, wringing out a damp cloth. "I live to help those in dire need of help like yourself. Anyone who is injured or seeking guidance, I will take in. Anyone without food, I will feed. Without clothing, I will clothe. Without protection, I will defend. Tell me my friend, what brought you here?"

"I'm not sure anymore" Suichi admitted. "I was sent to kill a dangerous man, and he attacked me before I could fight back...I'm sure it must be hard to take care of a killer like me. A woman as peaceful as yourself, getting caught up in the affairs of the war...I'm sorry."

"Doing your duty is no reason to be ashamed" Rei said. "Sometimes, life becomes a chore to people, and then it loses its meaning."

"What meaning?" Suichi asked.

"To be happy" Rei said, "is the only truth about the meaning we live. Some are sent here to the spirit world as a second chance to live their lives with us and inspire the masses with their adventures. It is always the poor souls who grow to be strong, the weak wills in life that are the strongest. You are not doing anything wrong, you are just living your life as it must be lived. That is my opinion."

"That's a fairly partisan opinion for a medic" Suichi said straining a laugh. Rei smiled down at him. Her smile, warm and motherly, was more heart-mending that was her pulsing healing power from her hands. There was peace in Suichi's mind just being around her...

...and there still is, deep within his mind.

"Shin Kenpachi is phenomenally strong" Suichi said. "Seeing a man that great fall in battle...a student like Hoji would feel indescribable pain. I suggest you talk to him about it. Try and get the guilty burden of surpassing the impassable off his mind."

"You are still very impatient" Rei said. She set down her needle and thread to sigh and stand up to her old assassin friend. "Do you remember what I told you when you demanded to leave early?"

"You didn't say anything" Suichi said, remembering something that apparently made him edgy at his gracious host. "I asked when I'd be done with my physical therapy so I could go out again and you hit me! On the head!"

"Well, I felt threatened by you" Rei said. She turned with a hand to her face and a jesting smile, nearly laughing. "A big, strong assassin was in my home all that time. How was I to know you wouldn't turn on me?"

"You're twisted, Lady Unohana!" Suichi said in his tired tone expertly developed from talking to Shin and Hoji for so long. "Very well, then. To avoid getting hit by you again, I'll just leave those two to their fates...still, what do you think of Shin right now?"

"I haven't really met him yet" Rei said, "but I'm already impressed by him. I dare say, despite his reputation, we may grow close as I have with all my children."

"I see" Suichi said. He picked himself off the wall and left for a hallway. "You'll see where this impatience comes from in time, Lady Unohana..." Rei looked over her shoulder with a smile, then went back down to her sewing.


Back in the garden, Hoji had moved from his hidden cove of plants at the pond and found a nice, big rock in the middle of the grounds. He unsheathed his sword, grabbed it in reverse grip, and threw it hard into the rock.

"Tch" Hoji grunted, crouching down at the knees to face his sword down eye-to-hilt. "Okay, Torakaze, you're technically my soul. Tell me, what should I do? I feel like there's a huge ceiling above me and pushing too hard will make me run into it and die. Then again, I know Shin will survive, he'll be alright, and then we'll continue to train while he pulls steadily ahead of me. Tell me...sword...what should I do?"

How the Hell should I know? Torakaze said snidely. It's your body. If training's gonna kill you, then don't train. If you honestly believe that you'll die if you pull too far ahead, then stay where you are and get left behind!

"...Odd" Hoji mused. "I thought my inner self would be more comforting."

What makes you think you deserve comfort? Torakaze asked. You never pity anyone, regardless of their position, and you certainly aren't pitying Shin. All you're thinking about is yourself right now! If you honestly cared about your friend and mentor, you'd be at his bedside praying for him and doing everything you can!

"I already know that nothing I do will help him" Hoji argued. "Don't try and make me, and by association yourself, look bad just by twisting the facts! I know if I could help Shin I would. If he needed my leg with no chance of mine growing back, I'd lop it off now!"

I wouldn't let you Torakaze said.

"Then I'd use a rock and beat it off!" Hoji shouted. He shot up to his feet, ignoring the pain in his back and legs, and stared raising his voice to the voice inside his head. "Dammit, Shin's like my brother! Hell, he is my brother! We've slain hundreds together, Hollows and shinigami!"

Then why are you so scared? Torakaze asked. Hoji sneered and tilted his head at the sword. Do you honestly think you need to be scared over this? Do you know who you are anymore? You are Hoji Araijin, proud fighter and warrior of the Araijin clan, follower of the destructive rogue Shin Kenpachi. Not matter who lives or dies in your life, that's who you will always be. Now, if Shin could see you now what would he say...? Reaching that revelation of thought, Hoji abandoned his self-pity, answered his question, and picked up his sword.

"Go for everything!" Hoji shouted, practicing swings in the garden. "Abandon everything and stare nothing down over the pit of death! Stab for the heart! Fake them out and kick them in the face! Hit with the blunt edge of your sword to off their timing. Then, RUUUUUUSH!!!" In a mad dash of brimming confidence, Hoji flash-stepped across the garden and stabbed his sword up to the hand guard into the white walls surrounding the open grassy stretch of yard. Then, spinning around, he slashed out and pointed forward with his off hand curled like a claw at his chest.

"I am a warrior!" Hoji shouted. "No matter what happens, that is what I shall be! And when I die, if I die with too much power or because I didn't have enough, I will die as a warrior! That's what Shin would tell me, what he'd show me. That' show he lives. If Shin dies it only means he died showing me what true power really is! Even if I die...I will achieve true power like him!"

So what does this mean...? Torakaze asked, pushing Hoji just once more into his original frame of mind. A smile lit up his face, he took his sword in a reverse grip and crossed his arms to grip it little-finger ends of his hands touching.

"Rip and Tear, Torakaze!!!" And in a burst of sharp wind and ecstatic glee, Hoji released his fears and dread and anxiety with his sword. "Let's get to training! TCH!" Suichi observed, from afar inside the mansion, and saw Hoji with his conscience clear doing stretches and punching exercises in the yard.

"Be patient" Suichi told himself. "I guess that is the best strategy, isn't it?" He looked behind him inside Shin's room, and saw the manic man still sleeping and snoring loudly. "...Yep. Patience is a virtue only a hard liver like myself can take to heart. Hoji...continue teaching me with your impatience, please..."