"None of this rubbish is necessary," Jack grumbled aloud.
After Sora had convinced the pirate that they ought to reunite and stay reunited (and also had proved that Amanda, regardless of how she got on one's nerves, was essential as their guide through the dismal darkness that was Auckland), the group had press-ganged him into entering the closest menswear department. It wasn't looking pretty.
"You can't go running around looking like a… a pirate!" Amanda retorted. She pushed Jack back into the changing room.
Goofy glanced at Donald. "Technically, the Cap'n is a pirate."
"Yeah, but still." The duck/midget shrugged. "She's right. Everyone will be looking at us."
Sora shook his head. "You mean at him."
"It doesn't matter which one here they look at," Amanda hissed as she shoved other selected shirts under the door. "But there's no point in drawing extra attention to yourselves."
"I love drawing extra attention to myself." Sora rolled his eyes as Jack opened the door.
Amanda took a step towards the pirate, her eyes quickly assessing the damage. She started to do up the buttons on his shirt, which he had left unbuttoned.
"What did you do with the tie?" Amanda gave the Captain a glare as she ventured back into the changing room.
"I was not specified of the specific important of said ties," Jack Sparrow replied airily, undoing all of the buttons again with a great amount of subtly. He looked suspicious as the girl put the tie around her neck and made the loop.
"These days, the specific importance is fashion." Amanda forced the pirate down and placed the tie over his head.
"Oh no, I'm not about to hang for the sake of looking like every other Tom, Dick and Harry, savvy? No way in hell." Jack tried to tug the tie off, but only succeeded in making the noose impersonation tighter, causing him to choke.
Goofy looked concerned. "Gawrsh, what's he trying to do?"
Other potential witnesses to the death of Jack Sparrow looked their way, raising an eyebrow or two.
Sora gave a nervous smile in their direction. "Dad's not exactly…"
"Fashion-literate," Amanda cut in. Hurriedly she ushered Jack back into the dressing room and let out enough slack to take it off. "We obviously are too dense to wear a tie, eh?"
Jack coughed, rubbing at his neck. "Next time you want to murder me, lass, I'd appreciate it if you clue me in. Truth be told, I'm not actually in that much of a hurry to die."
Amanda rolled her eyes. "Don't be such a Hollywood. We're… gonna have to rethink this."
She gathered up all of the loose items of clothing, including the pirate's old garb, which had a noticeable… smell about it.
"What are you doing?" He demanded, grabbing onto his old clothes possessively.
"You're not the only one who can play dirty." Amanda bit down on his hand, instantly causing him to release his grip. "Jack, you're gonna have new clothes whether you'd like them or not!" She sighed. "Take a chill pill, man, I'm not gonna dump or burn your stuff. Much as I'd like to."
Jack sulked as she closed the door. A moment later, a pile of new clothes was pushed under the door for him to try on.
"I'll go with not!" he called out.
On the other side of the door, Amanda groaned. "I'm sure your Mum will too."
After an extended period of time, Sora kicked the door and complained. "What's taking you so long, Captain?"
"Excuse my plodding at my own pace," Jack replied, mockingly.
"Aw, come on!" Donald grumbled.
Amanda cocked her head to the side thoughtfully and then she whispered in Donald's ear. He looked at her questioningly. She nodded slyly.
"If you don't come out, I'm gonna cremate your clothes!" Donald threatened, banging on the door. "You know I can!"
Hurriedly, Jack kicked the door open, flattening the short magician again the wall.
"Gawrsh," Goofy exclaimed.
"Crap," Amanda swore.
"Wow," Sora remarked.
"Ow," Donald groaned, rubbing his tender head.
There was no sparkle like that of a synthesised outfit. But on Jack Sparrow, there was no need for glitter. The difference announced itself.
Jack raised an eyebrow. "What? Do you want me to go back in there, then? We can do without this weird staring. Ness."
"No." Amanda dragged him away from the changing room door. "It's near perfect. Look in the mirror."
The pirate turned around to face himself. A stranger confronted Jack in his place. He wore a clean white open-neck shirt with thin light blue lines running down it. Overtop was a dark grey denim waistcoat with short tails on the back. Even more overtop, he wore a light black sweatshirt, the zip undone. His new look was completed with a pair of light grey jeans.
"Bugger." In the mirror, Amanda couldn't tell what the pirate's expression represented.
"Don't you like it, Jack? If you don't, we'll change it."
Jack's eyes met her own in the mirror. "It's… interesting. But I haven't decided whether I like it or not."
Amanda touched his arm. "I personally think you look hot."
"What?" Donald, Sora and Goofy exclaimed in unison.
Sora whispered in her ear, "Are you serious, Amanda? He's too old for you!"
"That wasn't what I meant, you idiot," Amanda replied with a sneer. She turned back to Jack. "I'll get the stuff you're in."
Jack cocked his head to the side. "If you wish." He promptly swaggered out of the shop.
The shop alarm immediately blared to life when he passed through the sensors.
Instinctively, the pirate bolted.
"Hey, you! Stop, thief!" the shop attendant cried, a young man in his early twenties.
Amanda dashed through the door onto the street. "Jack!"
Captain Sparrow was halfway down the street.
Growling under her breath, Amanda fell into the fugitive's pursuit.
"Oi! Captain Jack! Get your arse back here!"
Before long, Amanda managed to catch his attention, and he stopped.
"What was that bloody row?" Jack Sparrow complained.
Amanda grabbed the pirate by the arm and dragged him back toward the menswear department, where Sora, Donald and Goofy were waiting, along with accumulating spectators. "That, my friend, was a reminder that in a civilised world, civilised people pay for virtually everything. Except for politicians."
"You might be surprised at my contemplation of interfering with affairs of state," Jack replied, none the worse for his flight.
His 'captor' rolled her eyes.
Sheepishly, Amanda apologised to the shop attendant for her acquaintance's misconduct. "He don't get out into society, much…" She glanced down at the man's name badge. "Eric."
"What…" Jack stopped when he saw Amanda's warning glare. "Er, the screaming wench is a first for me, mate."
Eric raised a questioning eyebrow. "Well, I suppose you've never stolen anything."
Sora and Donald smothered their sudden eruption of coughs.
"You might be applying the word too liberally," Amanda remarked. She gave Jack a prod in the back and ushered him to the counter.
"That went well," Sora said with affected optimism.
"Aw, phooey," Donald muttered, crossed his arms and tapping his right foot against the pavement.
Sora cupped the back of his head with his hands. "I'm not saying that Captain's running off was the best thing he could've done, but hey. I'm surprised that we managed to get him out of his pirate… er…"
"Clothes," Goofy pointed out helpfully. "But it weren't us. Amanda did it all."
"She's got him twisted around her little finger," Donald remarked.
Sora nodded. "Yeah. Wow, she's amazing." The Keyblade bearer's two friends glanced at him with some suspicion.
"You're not…"
Donald asked blatantly, "Do you have a crush on Amanda?"
"What? No?! No!" Sora protested, raising his hands. "Not like that. Not like Kairi. But don't you ever feel… in your heart, that she's like, leading us?"
"Bwark! Never!" Donald turned his back on Sora, and hesitated. "Well, maybe a little."
"Gawrsh. I've noticed too." Goofy bit his lip apprehensively. "That might not be such a good thing."
Sora flicked his gaze up at Goofy's face. "Why?"
Goofy replied slowly, "Well, we are supposed to be on a mission. And I've got the feeling that this ain't it."
Alarm began to creep its way onto the trio's countenances, but then Amanda came back with the older Keyblade master, and the previous conversation was forgotten.
"Now that that's over," Amanda stated with a bright smile towards the pirate, "it's time a barber saw to you."
A collective sigh rent the air as Amanda once again had her way.
