DISCLAIMER: I do not own Death Note or any of the Characters and what not.

and im really sorry that

wrote chapter three listening to... here in your arms- hellogoodbye

I had now reached the age of 13 noticing that I had grown a lot, as a matter a fact everyone had both grown physically and mentally.

Matt had changed a alot, he was 13 like myself. His hair still remained that red color I had grown to love through out our friendship. Instead of his short cropped cut he had always kept when we were a child. Matt had grown a tad longer from our childhood days, he was now reaching the height of 5"4'. His hair looked layered and tossed about. Matt had started smoking now, often times I would walk into his room just to talk and find him knocked out on the floor with a cigarette bud in hand. I would always look down on this, that wasn't the Matt I knew and loved like a brother. In a way I had felt pity for him, by smoking he was just throwing his life away and sometimes I didn't want to stand around that. He would always fidget with his goggles when nervous about something. He still had his nack for video games, and one thing that I know would never change about him is that he is childish and he absolutley hates to lose, I've known him to be that way ever since we first met. Yet I have to admit, he had gotten rather handsome if I do say so myself. We still were close friends, but he had developed a small interest towards me. How I found out? Near let the cat out of the bag one night while he hung out with L and I in my room.

Then there was Near, he was now 12. Though he had always been the youngest of us he had grown much taller, reaching 5"5', almost as tall as L. He always would have a small trinket toy of such in is hand as usual, casual playing with it tossing it about in his hand. Always twirling his hair with his other hand. He was very mature, especially for his age. His face had already lost its child roundness and took more shape into a nice sleek face with bony cheeks. He had bleached his hair white, matching the color of everything else in his room. He told me one day while we were walking outside that he had done this only because he had loved the color white, and he felt that it had matched him. His white hair would always be messy, and a bit curly. It hung over his eyes, layered. His skin was the same light tone as mine, with black eyes that seemed to glow next to his white hair.

Mello, who was now 14 he still had his chocolate obsession. He hadn't grown his hair out much, it was still the same shoulder length as it always was. When we would have a guest over, which was rare, he would still be, many times, mistaken as a girl. Though I had kept a straight face when this happened I always found it quite amusing. I was smart enough to know that if I ever cracked a smile during one of those moments, I would be knocked out cold on the floor before I can say "Wammy" You might be thinking that I'm just joking, right? Wrong. The last time we had guest over I had found Matt lying in the middle of the living room, apparently he was knocked out from Mello. Mello would always be wearing black, his favorite color.

There was L, 14 years old. He acted very, very mature for his age. His black raven hair would hang right above his eyes. It was layered and messy. His looks had changed so much since we were children. His face had lost its childhood roundness and began to show his bony cheeks. He remained ivory skinned, skinny (as much candy as he ate), with dark bags under his eyes from staying up late with me, and he had grown much taller reaching 5"6'. He would wear a loose white long sleeve with loose jeans, and he absolutely hated socks. I think I just might have started to fancy him a bit. His eyes were dark as the midnight sky, glowing against his skin.

Then there was me, I was much like L. Grown out of being a child, my hair colored raven black long, layered, and messy. I had lost all of my baby fat which gave me a slight figure. My ivory skin would just glow against my dark black hair as long as my black colored eyes. I had grown taller 5"3' just one inch under Matt. The dark bags under my eyes had grown, due to staying up playing music and talking. I would rarely sleep now, spending my nights with L and any of my other friends. I would usually wear a loose fitting shirt accompained with my favorite jeans and a hoodie to top it off. On the occasion I would wear a fitted shirt.

I had started to notice that Matt would always fuss with his goggles when talking to me and that never happened before. I didn't put too much thought into it but I took a guess that Near was telling the truth. Matt did take on a little fancy to me. But I wasn't looking for love, in fact I had yet to know the true meaning to it. I know the kind of love that I had for Watari and everyone else at Wammys, but that was because they were my family. I would think there is a deeper meaning to it than just that, or I secretly hoped so. But I wasn't too sure why I was wondeirng about this so much. I went up to my room and lay down on my back on the piano's chair with my legs hanging off touching the floor. I sat upright, looking at all the photographs I had stuck on my wall. I continued to put up the group picture that we took every year, it seemed to resemble a timeline. I looked to the first picture, the year that I had gotten here. We were all so small that Watari had to kneel beside us inorder to be in the shot. As my eyes made its way through all the years, to now. Watari could now stand up and be in the shot. We had all grown so much, I needed to take a trip down memory lane, but how?

The day had gone by fast, and it was now in the late hours of the night. As usual you found us, L and I sat in my room. We sat down side by side and he listened to me as I played a soft melody on the piano. It was later than I had thought it was and L was tired. Just as I got to the softest part of the song I felt his head slowly coming to a rest on my shoulder. I paused, halfway through the piece. Carefully sliding my way off the chair being sure not to wake him I got a blanket from my bed and covered him up. I made my way out of the room dimming the lights making sure not to wake L. I quietly checked in on everyones room. Seeing that everyone was asleep I snuck downstairs to take a look at the old photo albums. I was as quiet as a mouse, making my way over to the book shelf, dimming the lights. I made my way through every year since I had been here. I took out the most recent one, I blew on the cover clearing some of the dust. I shuffled to the couch placing the album on the glass topped table I sat comfortably in my own little awkward position. One leg I had my knee up to my chest and the other was stretched out, in a regular position. I carefully opened the album making sure not to rip any of the pages. I had made it about half way through until I saw it. It was the most perfect picture in the history of Whammys. I had remembered taking this. It was one of those surprise picture perfect kodak moments. The picture was taken when all of us were taking a walk outside on one summer day. There were clear skies and Watari was outside taking pictures of the garden. Watari had aimed the camera at us, as I quickly put my arms over L and Matt's shoulders as Matt put his arms on Mello's shoulders. Near jumped infront of me screaming, "Hey! I want to be in the picture too!" And we all laughed. I smiled looking back at this picture, this was exactly what I was looking for. I quickly closed the album, shoved it back into it's place on the bookshelf, shut off all the lights, and ran up to my room. L was still sound asleep on the piano chair, I kept the lights dimmed so he wouldn't wake up. I opened the drawer of my desk and shuffled through it for some tape to hang up my picture. I heard L mumble softly in his sleep. Finding some tape I ripped a small piece and stuck half on the photo. I closed the drawer and walked to the picture wall. As much as I tried I couldn't find a opening to place it. L mumbled in his sleep again, a little louder this time. I needed to be more quiet, or else he would wake up. I wanted to put it some place where I would be able to see it always. An idea went off in my head, the piano. Right above the highest keys on the upright piano I had in my room I stuck the most perfect picture on there. I laughed a bit, I couldn't help it. That small laugh was enough to wake L up. He sat up rubbing his eyes, I turned my head to look at him. I gave him a smile as I turned back to the photo. He laughed, "I remember this." L touched the photo softly, his voice cracking. "It was a fun day, wouldn't you agree?" I nodded, "It sure was. I love this photo so much." I said in a smooth voice as I made sure it was taped well enough to the piano. L nodded in agreement. I yawned, L stretched out. "I think it's time that you should actually get some sleep." I said softly as I glanced toward the clock on my wall. It was nearly 3:00AM. L nodded, "Yeah, I think your ri-" He stopped mid-sentence cut off by a yawn. I raised an eyebrow at him as I said, "Let's both get some sleep." He stood up, stretching his arms above his head, and started to walk toward his room mumbling a quick "good night." shutting my door. I turned off my lights, and crawled into my bed.

From staying up all those late nights, I had developed a case of insomnia which meant that I had trouble falling and staying asleep. Due to this I couldn't sleep. After an hour or so trying yet failing I slowly made my way into L's room. I didn't bother knocking, I just opened up the door and stood there silently in the dark. L sat up from his bed, "Insomnia." It wasn't a question. I nodded, "I find it quite disturbing." I said. L quickly agreed. He got up from his bed as I made my way in, I lay down on the floor. He joined in and lay down next to me. "So how are we going to finally get some rest after all those nights?" L said as he proped his head on one elbow as he faced me. I gave him a crooked smile and softly said, "Let's just talk for a while, when I get tired I'll drag myself back to my room." L nodded, "Sounds like a good idea." We talked for hours. The range of subjects ran from music, to movies, to our childhood together, to our friendship, and even to where we would plan to go after leaving Whammy's. It was all the things that were on a need to know basis between us two. We were best friends, we shared everything. I knew his deepest darkest secrets and he knew mine. I knew his real name, and he knew mine. Time flew by as we talked. For the sheer joy, we were using each other's full name while talking and playing games. "So L Lawliet, tell me. Would you rather-" I was interupted by a yawn. L smiled at me, "I think it's time that you got some sleep, N-" He too yawned just as he was going to say my real name. I raised an eyebrow at him, "You're one to talk." We laughed softly and lay back down on the floor. There were a few mintues of silence between us. I felt my eyes grow heavy, till I could no longer keep them open. I, N. Had fallen asleep for once in years. The same goes for L.

I awoke the next morning at 1:00PM. I figured I would have woken up late, seeming this was the first time I had slept for quite a while. But I was rather surprise at the fact that I had waken up on my bed in my own room. I certainly did remember falling asleep next to L in his room. I remember I could feel his body heat, not needing a blanket. I knew L had probably carried me back to my room. I would thank him later on tonight. I jumped out of my bed and ran my fingers quickly through my hair brushing it back. I looked myself over in the mirror, I figured I looked decent, shrugged, turned, and walked out of my room. I dragged my way downstairs, seeing Near playing with his toys on the floor, Mello sprawling on the couch while reading a magazine and eating some chocolate. Matt was sitting down against the wall playing on one of his many handheld games, Watari was right outside the back glass door tending to some of the plants, and L was eating a lollipop while lying on the cool floor under the piano. I walked in the living room stretching and yawning loudly unintentionally. Everyone looked up from what they were doing. Matt spoke, "Well, well. Good morning sleeping beauty!" He gave me one of his own crooked smiles. I raised an eyebrow at him, he was obviously attempting to flirt with me. "Very funny Matt." I said. "Cmon' I wasn't joking." He said smiling. I looked up from my feet and raised an eyebrow. What was he up to? Was he bluffing? Mello made a disgusted face and went back to eating his chocolate. L slowly moved from his spot under the piano. Near's concentration was disturbed that his tower of dice had fallen down. "Hmph." He said softly. There was an awkward silence. L stood up and looked at me, wanting to see how I reacted. I assumed he knew what Matt was up to. I gave Matt a small half smile "Really now, Matt." I scratched the back of my leg with my foot. I heard Matt sigh, I looked up. "Yes?" I said soft yet attention grabbing. He stood up and slowly walked toward me. "I'm serious M. You really are beautiful." Matt said. I remained calm and kept a straight face. "Thank you." I said in my monotone voice. Where was he going with this? "Aww, that's all I get? A thank you? Why not something like, hey Matt your pretty cute yourself." He said. Matt didn't know when to cut it out. I didn't say anything, he continued talking as he reached me from across the room. He was now standing right in front of me, "Or instead of talking you could have done this." Everyone's head shot up immediately from what they were doing. Near's tower of dice had fallen crashing to the floor, Mello dropped his chocolate bar and magazine. L's head shot up from looking at the floor. Matt took my hands in his and he kissed me. I didn't want to kiss him but I didn't fight back. There was no point if I did. I closed my eyes and waited it out. This kiss was gentle yet firm, playful yet passionate. He pulled back opening his eyes he smiled. I opened my eyes, it was like I could just hear his thoughts screaming out at me. He was probably thinking something along the lines of "Oh yeah. She kissed back, she wants me." But he was far from being correct. I didn't fancy him, I was pretty sure that I liked L. "Because actions speak louder than words." Matt said finishing his sentence. "Matt, why-" He cut me off, "Shh, shh, shhh. Don't talk just kiss me one more time." Matt said, he apparently didn't get my point. "No. Matt listen." I said in a more serious tone. He stopped. "Look, I'm sorry but I don't like you... Like that. More like a brother and best friend" I was struggling for the right words. He frowned. "Then why did you kiss me back?" He said with his voice shaking, clearly embarrassed. "I didn't. I just waited it out." I said softly. He was outraged. "YOU WAITED IT OUT?" He screamed. Mello jumped from the sudden noise. "Matt, its just-" He cut me off. "What the HELL is that supposed to mean. Waited it out. YOU CLOSED YOUR EYES, it seemed like you were into it but no. YOU WAITED IT OUT. I actually THOUGHT you liked me back. For that moment I just put whatever I had on the line figuring I had nothing to loose. But I was wrong. I lost a so-called friend... I HATE YOU!" He walked up to his room. When he was halfway up the stairs I spoke, "That's too bad Matt. Because I like you." He stopped, and turned to me. "But only as a friend." He continued walking as one small tear ran down his cheek. I spoke again, softly, "You were a good friend." That did it to him. "I also HATE how you ALWAYS have to have the last say in EVERYTHING. AND ITS ALWAYS A STUPID SARCASTIC REMARK TOO!" He was furious. I still remained calm. "Me saying that you were a good friend wasn't sarcasm Matt. I meant it." I said as I turned around facing him talking in a slightly louder voice. He screamed, letting out his anger and stomped up to his room. Mello, Near, and L stood up looking at me. "That was intense." Mello said. "I never seen him so mad." Near joined in. L nodded. "I should go talk to him about it." I mumbled as I started to walk to the stairs. Mello stuck his arm out blocking me. "Let him relax for bit M." Mello was right, I should let him relax. But I ignored him all the while. I walked up to his room and gave three knocks on his bedroom door. "What?" I could hear him sniffling. I knocked again. "Go away." I sighed, and knocked. I heard Matt sigh loudly in disgust he came and opened his door. I leaned against the door frame looking down at my feet. He saw me. "Matt, I-" He slammed the door in my face. I sighed. "Open the door Matt. Please?" I could hear him crying softly. "Matt open the door now. I just want to talk to you." I said in a more serious tone. Silence. "I already know your crying." A few minutes passed and he opened the door and sat back down on his bed. I stepped into his room and closed the door behind me. "Look Matt, I-" "I know, I know. Your sorry." He always cut me off. There was a moment of awkward silence, so he spoke. "Look I just don't want this to r-" It was my turn to cut him off "To ruin our friendship?" He looked up at me, "Yeah. I guess kissing you was kind of stupid." He admitted. I raised my eyebrow at him, "Yeah. You screwed up my first kiss." I said playfully. He laughed, "I guess I did huh?" I smiled. "So we cool?" Matt questioned. I gave him a crooked smile, "Of course" I said. He stood up and I gave him a friendly hug. I'm glad that everything is finally back to normal.