Chapter 2: Working on Those First Impressions
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I was sure I had set a record. It was only nine in the morning, and I had already commenced in a third argument with my father. I knew he was extremely hungover from the night before, and was experiencing a killer migraine, which wasn't uncommon; but today he seemed especially bad for some reason.
"Karen!" I heard his gruff voice shout from across the vineyard. "What are you doing? You should have already finished sowing the grape seeds by now! What are you taking your precious time for? Get on it, you lazy, worthless girl!"
I usually would have let this pass me by, determining it as a product of his lingering intoxication, but this time I felt my rage boiling. I sought rebellion.
"NO!" I shouted, surprised at the sheer volume of my voice. I mean, I had always been fairly loud, but this was overbearing. "How can you say that? If you had even set foot upon this field instead of standing there like a dumb oaf, I would have had it finished! But you haven't, you've been sitting at the bar drinking, and I've had to do your work for you in order to keep this vineyard alive! How can you even say that I haven't been working! You're the lazy one!" By this point, I could feel tears burning in the corners of my eyes.
At first I thought my father was rendered speechless. I saw him venture from where he was standing by our house and come toward me. Upon approaching me, his expression grew from anger to rage to near insanity. I held my ground, staring straight into his eyes.
He grabbed ahold of the front of my shirt, picking me up and bringing him close to his face. His breath still stunk of alcohol.
"Don't you ever speak that way to me again," he growled, flecks of spit hitting my face.
I stared at him defiantly, not wanting to give in so easily. I kicked at his knees with my dangling feet, struggling like a two-year-old. He threw me back into the dust, causing me to land hard on my side. I could feel my anger rising still, steadily. I wasn't going to let him get away with this.
"You never listen to me! What's wrong with you!" I shouted back from where I lay. He continued walking. I could see the deep red color of his neck as he departed. "What a terrible father!" I screamed, jumping to my feet and racing toward the exit of the vineyard. "You should let me have my way!"
This time he took the initiative to scream back. "What? Don't be so selfish, Karen! What an undutiful daughter!" Tears were pouring out of my eyes by now. I knew where I would go, perhaps where I would stay the night. Out of the corner of my teary eyes, I saw a blue and orange blur as I passed out of the vineyard and toward the beach.
I was Karen, the girl with the two-second temper. People knew me this way, and I didn't care. I could be laughing happily one moment, my fists flying the next. Well, I am right... I told myself. My father is a jerk. See if I ever go back. I knew he wouldn't care. Or would he? No, he would probably be grateful that I was gone.
After what seemed to take hours, I finally felt sand beneath my feet. The shore was empty, as always. One of the many things I liked about it. It was my resting spot, my place to think and sort things out (as if I ever really did that). The place where I could be alone, with the soothing waves never ceasing to foam around my bare feet. I sat on the dock this time, letting my legs dangle, my toes skimming the top of the water. It was a nice day, still early spring, and the air had warmed up a bit. Practically every villager in Flower Bud was out and about at this time, for it was undoubtedly the best weather of the year.
Yet for some reason, I favored winter. Perhaps it was because the vineyard didn't require much work around then, for the grapes would have just been harvested and the wine set in the cellar to age. Or maybe it was because it was the season of my birthday, and I would become another year closer to becoming an adult so that I could leave this dump of a town. I can't wait... I thought. No more ruddy grapes, no more stupid chores, no more drunk fathers... I allowed myself to daydream. If only I could catch a ferry and leave right now...
"Karen?"
I jumped at the sound of a voice behind me. I turned quickly to face the blue and orange blur I had seen earlier. Jack.
"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, coming to sit beside me.
The first thing I felt was anger. I was mad at being shaken out of my daydreams, and mad that this loon had followed me. But after looking at the sincerity and friendliness in the new farmer's eyes, I softened up my tone a bit.
"I, uhh... what are you doing here, Jack?"
"I heard you and your father arguing from my farm. I came to see if everything's okay," he replied, a look of genuine concern in his eyes.
Couldn't I be nice to this guy for once? I thought to myself. He's only trying to be helpful. Don't I want at least one friend in this stupid village? Though, as always, my mouth was on a different track.
"You were eavesdropping?" I said irritably. "What gives you the right to just butt in on my life?"
He looked crestfallen. Yet the brightness never left his eyes.
"I'm sorry," he began, "it's just—"
"—that you think you can try and play Mr. Nice Guy, and you'll win my vote! Well, I'm sorry Jack, but I'm not falling for it. Go drag your sympathetic ass to some other sucker."
I knew how harsh and unreasonable I was being, and I was almost instantly regretful for it. I tried telling myself I didn't care, that my mouth was right. But as I watched Jack begin slowly to leave the beach, my heart got the best of me.
"Wait... Jack!" I yelled, before I had known it. "Look... I'm sorry. I mean, uh... I just can't... you can't..." I was mumbling. I didn't know what to say, so I let my temper take back over. "Never mind, forget about it. Just leave..." I said, almost inaudibly. For a moment, I almost thought I saw half a smile creep onto the boy's face, but he turned back around, walking off the sandy beach until he was out of sight.
I buried my face in my hands. What had I done? I was mad at my father, and he was undoubtedly mad at me. I was pretty sure Jack was now upset with me as well, but I wasn't so sure I was upset with him. No one else in the village seemed to show concern for me like that before. Or was it really sympathy he had shown? It sure seemed like it... but then, I had known boys who had pretended to care in order to get closer to me physically. Was he merely attracted to my looks, as they were? I didn't know for sure.
Yet the fact that I had made a considerably horrible first impression upon the guy and he had still talked to me again surprised me. Perhaps it was a true friendliness Jack possessed. I was confused.
I looked up, deciding to forget about the matter for the time being. Instead I stared at the waves. They rolled in and out; a continuous cycle of ebb and flow. It seemed to me that was the way everything worked around here. I couldn't help feeling bored, tired with my life. Not to mention angry.
I picked up a rock from between the boards of the dock. Turning it over once, I threw it as far I could into the water. It didn't go very far; I could see the small splash it made as it hit an oncoming wave. Yet apart from that, no change in the current was noticeable. I felt drowsy. The sun gently warmed my skin, and the sound of the waves was peaceful. Gradually, I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a prosperous vineyard, of a kinder, happier father... a whirl of blue and orange...
And in this happy state I stayed for the remainder of the day.
