Chapter 4: The Green-Eyed Monster

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By the time I woke up the next morning my emotional high had worn off. I was back to my bitter and hostile self, and I wasted no time in arguing with my father and ridiculing my mother. I hardly ever bickered with Kai for he usually let me have my way, but today I was rather mad at him, perhaps for not trying to get to know me the way Jack had. Sure, Kai was kind and caring, and as far as I could tell too shy to talk to girls, but that was no excuse in my mind.

"Kai! What are you doing? We don't pay you to sit around idly all day... get to work!" I shouted at the groggy, sweating boy. He shot me a look as if I were a bit off my rocker, for he was only taking a five-minute break, but he made no complaints as he stood up and walked back toward the field, wiping his brow with his purple bandana. I was in slave-driver mode this morning, despite the fact that it was already ninety degrees and was bound to get hotter as noon came around.

No more than two seconds later, I heard the door click open and saw my disgruntled father walk out of the house. He looked as if he were in a worse mood than myself. He shortly confirmed my suspicions.

"What are you shoutin' about this early in the mornin', girl?" he yelled, making no effort to come and help with the workload himself. "Some people around here are tryin' to sleep, y'know!"

I shot him a nasty look. "Gee, dad... thanks for the offer. No, it's okay, Kai and I can handle the vineyard ourselves... no need to worry!" I retorted sarcastically.

"Why, you..." he seemed at a loss for words. He began to come towards me again, the same way he had a season ago. However, this time I knew better and backed off. When he came to five feet away from where I stood, he stopped and pointed a finger at me menacingly. "You're a sniveling little brat, Karen. You know that? I'm the one who's putting food in your stomach and keeping the roof above your pretty little head... you should be grateful!"

I snorted. He often used this to try and make me feel guilty, but it never worked.

"Yeah, right, 'cause the vineyard's a great success! Maybe if you paid attention when you were my age and learned how grandma made her wine, we'd be doing fine today! But no!" I yelled.

So much for the progress I was making in changing my bitter self. I heard my father grunt and furiously turn around to storm inside. Moments later the door slammed shut, and I went irritably back to my work. I had almost forgotten Kai had just witnessed the whole ordeal.

"Um... Miss Karen?" I heard him say from behind me a few minutes later.

"What!" I grumbled, not turning from the row of grapes I was currently attending to.

"I know it may be his fault... but could you just try to get along with your father?" I turned around at this, placing my hands on my hips.

"Well, he isn't doing any work. You can see that. Why should I obey his every command?" I shot back.

"Because he's your father?" Kai offered, but I could tell from his voice that he very well knew that wasn't going to work for me.

"Ha. Some father," I mumbled, turning back around. "Don't worry about it Kai. Just get back to work."

I bent down and pulled fiercely at a clump of weeds, only managing to rip off the tips. I scowled.

Just then I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder. I turned my head to see a concerned Kai looking down at me. His dark brown eyes were filled with kindness, and the bandana he usually wore was lying on a barrel somewhere, leaving sandy brown locks of hair falling onto his forehead. Somewhere beneath the tangled black mass of hatred, my heart swooned.

"Miss Karen, I do worry about it. Please make up with your father." He said, simply. I was speechless.

"I really wish I could, Kai..." I said, standing back up. "I really wish it were that easy..."

I turned to go inside. Only then did I notice the curious onlooker at the side of my house. Sorry Jack... I thought, looking at him straight in the eyes as if to communicate my apology telepathically. I closed the door behind me, and ran straight up to my room, tears streaming down my cheeks.

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That night was my night off at the bar. I considered going anyway, but I wasn't sure I could talk to Jack after what he witnessed this morning. Exactly how much of it did he see? Our friendship was still fragile, and I didn't want him thinking I was after Kai. Not if he considered me... well, I wouldn't even think about that. The feelings I had developed last night seemed petty now, though they hadn't been completely erased. I knew I wouldn't be the rude and selfish tyrant I had been at first any longer, but I would still have to take it easy with him. He was only trying to be nice, and I appreciated that. But I would have to give myself time.

So, leaving my tear-soaked pillow around four, I headed off to the beach. Where else would I go? The beach was more my home than the grape-forsaken vineyard ever was, and I felt whole there.

As I passed by Jack's farm, I was wary. I didn't want him to see me and follow, that would defeat my whole purpose of avoiding him. I glanced once quickly, and not seeing any signs, I walked speedily by, not offering the farm a second look. When I was well out of view from it, I slowed back down. As much as I wanted to get to the beach, I would take my time. I enjoyed the walk.

Soon the Green Ranch came into view. I could see a few horses running around, and Gray standing watching them and occasionally feeding them sugar cubes. I knew he loved the animals, even though by looking at him, you couldn't tell he had much passion for anything. But that was Gray. He had been different long ago, until one fateful day at the race tracks. But I don't like to recount that day.

Just then I saw Ann's vibrant red hair out of the corner of my eye. Out of all the girls in the village, I had to say Ann was the one I was closest to. Well, not super close, but close enough to complain about our work and families. I decided I would say hi.

However, as I ventured closer, I could see she was talking with someone. My heart skipped a few beats when I saw who it was. There was no mistaking the blue and orange cap as I entered the ranch. Jack. I quickly turned so that I was pressed up against the building that served as Gray and Doug's room, hiding myself from view. I could hear practically every word of their conversation.

"Wow, I can't believe you already have two cows and a sheep, Jack! That's great!" Ann's cheerful voice drifted to where I was standing.

"Heh, yeah. Thanks, Ann. I just sheered Ali today, take a look," he replied. I guessed from the silence that Ann had a look of surprise and glee on her face as he held up the ball of freshly-shaven wool.

"Oh, Jack!" she said a few moments later. "That's some of the best wool I've seen in a while! You sure take good care of your animals. It really shows."

"Well then, I think you should have it." I heard him say. I inhaled sharply.

"Really? Wow, thanks a lot!"

I stood for a moment trying to take it all in. I remembered Jack's promise to bring some fresh tomatoes to my house the day he picked them. How I had seen it as an act of flirtatiousness, a sign that he might like me. But apparently, he was like this with Ann, and perhaps all of the other girls as well. I clenched my teeth. I had thought he cared about me... and only me.

I came back to reality as I heard footsteps coming in my direction. I could only assume it was Jack. Quickly, I sprinted away from the wall and ran towards the beach. Stupid, stupid! I thought angrily. I knew he had most likely seen me. But I didn't stop, not even when I heard him call my name behind me.

I eventually felt the sand crunching beneath my feet, and I kicked off my shoes hurriedly. I knew he would most likely follow me, and I wanted to avoid him now more than ever. Sitting atop the dock, I removed my socks and my vest, and then quickly pulled my hair back with a rubber band. Not thinking twice, I dove head first into the cool water, swimming against the current and out toward the horizon.

"Karen!" I heard again from behind me. I pretended not to notice and went promptly underwater again. I could hold my breath fairly long from years of practice. I waited a few moments to be sure he had left, then resurfaced. He was nowhere in sight.

I panted and tread water, letting the waves take me a little closer to shore. I had swam a fair ways out, and my blonde bangs were now plastered to my face. My thoughts were blurred. I went over the conversation I had just listened in on. For some reason, I felt like breaking something, and I was glad I was surrounded by nothing but water at the moment. I was angry and hateful, and I couldn't remember why I had even given Jack a chance in the first place.

When the sun had finally gone down and I could see the bright reflection of the moon in the water around me, I decided to swim back to shore, feeling as if I was pinned by a spotlight.

As I reached the sand again, I sat wearily on the edge of the shore, taking my sopping wet hair out of the band. My temper was beginning to cool off a little, but I still felt hurt. Guys suck. I thought. But as I began to think of a reason for it, it was too hard to find one. Sure, Jack had been nice to me as well as Ann, but what did that mean? It wasn't like he was cheating on me, because for one thing, we weren't even close to being in a relationship. And I guess that's what it came down to, that Jack was nice. He was sociable while I was not, and that's why I mistook him for only caring about me. Yet I still felt mad. I was angry at him. I was angry at Ann. I was hateful of every person he had come into contact with.

And then it hit me. I was jealous. Jealous of Ann and every other girl in the city because they had spoken with Jack, perhaps even received a gift from him. And me, well... I was the one who was reluctant to even speak with him before the previous night. I was the one pushing him away, shooting offensive comments and pretending like I didn't care.

Perhaps I was turning into a green-eyed monster.