Chapter 10: Take Me Away
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Early the next morning Jack had set off. I woke early to be with him and to give my final goodbye— for I didn't know when the next time I would see him would be. He had hugged me for a long time on the beach, and I couldn't help but shed a few tears onto his shoulder. I was sad about his leaving, of course, but even more sad for him.
"Jack, I wish I could go with you..." I had said, looking pleadingly at him. "I want to be there for you..."
He frowned, knowing that I would do anything to help him.
"I know, Karen. I know." He hugged me tighter and whispered in my ear. "But you can't... and I'll be back soon. I promise."
Another tear slid down my cheek.
"Yeah, okay."
"Chin up, Karen. Remember, you're the one who wanted to get rid of me a couple seasons ago..." he said, smiling. I couldn't help but return his grin.
And then he had tilted my chin upward and gave me one last kiss goodbye. I felt all of my worries and reluctance disappear as he grasped me tightly, one hand on my lower back and the other behind my head, his fingers running through my hair. It was by far the most passionate kiss we had shared, and I remembered how much I didn't want him to go. When he finally drew away, I was rendered speechless.
"Goodbye for now..." he whispered. And then he turned and walked away toward the ferry.
I finally remembered my voice. "Jack!" I called, even though he was not very far away. He turned to look back. "Jack... I... I just wanted to say,"
I paused, considering my words. I felt sure about them.
"I love you, Jack."
He smiled. "I love you too, Karen," he said. And then he left.
-.-.-.-.-.-
Not two days had passed and I was still feeling miserable. Why do I feel like this? Surely I must be stronger... I'd thought. But then I realized I wasn't used to anyone leaving. Not anyone I'd loved this much... and it felt weird. I recalled a time when I was young and my father had set off for a month-long business trip. I had stood at the window every night, waiting for his return... only to be disappointed everytime he didn't show up. That was kind of how it felt now, only I wasn't as young and I loved Jack in a different way.
After a week went by the wine was ready, and my father had bundled up as much as he could and set off to a nearby island. I knew that once people had rediscovered our wine we'd be famous again in no time, and we'd no longer have to worry about our finances. Yet I couldn't bring myself to feel as excited as I would have been a week ago. I was grateful still, of course... but it now felt as if I had no one to share it with.
I spent time with Ann, of course, telling her how guilty I felt over Jack's departure. She seemed to sympathize with me. Yet she still had Cliff at her side every day, and I didn't really think she knew exactly how bad I felt. I was slightly jealous of her because of it too... which in turn made me feel selfish. I knew I was falling back into my bitter, resentful self again yet I ignored it.
I spent a large part of every day sulking in my room, writing letters to the address Jack had given me (though I couldn't send them until Friday of every week because it was overseas) and reading romance novels. If I had taken a harder look at myself I would have noticed the pathetic sap I was being, but at the moment I didn't care. All I could think about was Jack, when he would return, if his father would be all right.
Kai, on the other hand, seemed happier than ever. I knew he was thinking of taking advantage of Jack's absence and it sickened me. I was cruel to him and tried to avoid him as much as possible. Yet with my father gone, and my mother being out and around the village more and more often it wasn't always that easy.
Two weeks had gone by after Jack had left and I was sitting in my room, writing another letter, when I heard a knock on the door. Thinking it was my mother, for she was the only one who ever entered my room, I folded up the letter and set it beside my bed. "You can come in," I called.
However, when the door slid open, I found it was not my mother, but Kai.
"Oh," I said apathetically. "Hi."
He wandered in cautiously, shutting the door behind him.
"What do you want?" I asked, trying to edge in a tad of bitterness.
"Hello, Miss Karen," he said in his usual polite way, "I was just coming to see what you were doing is all."
I didn't buy it. I looked up at him coldly, and his gaze immediately dropped to the floor.
"Where's my mom?" I asked, ignoring his statement completely.
"Oh, she went out," he replied, and all of the sudden I was wary.
"Oh, well... that sounds like a good idea, actually," I said, getting up and heading toward my shoes and jacket. "I think I'll just head to the—" I was about to say "beach", but was cut off by Kai, who had now moved from his position in front of the door to in front of me.
"Miss Karen, I know you are sad because of Mr. Harvest's leaving," he said hurriedly, placing his hand on my shoulder now. "But I don't want you to be sad. He's not worth your time if he is leaving you and not allowing you to come. You deserve someone better than him."
I was shocked and disgusted at the same time by his words. "What, like you?" I replied angrily, trying to move aside, but he now had a grip on me. "MOVE, KAI!" I yelled, whacking his hand off of me now.
"But Miss Karen—" I heard him say as I hurried towards the door.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shouted as I slammed the door shut, leaving him with his mouth open in mid-protest in the center of my room. I ran angrily down the stairs and bumped into my mother, who was carrying a bag of fresh vegetables.
"I can't stay here with that creep any longer!" I growled to her, then rushed out the door and to the beach.
Once I was there there I sat heavily on the edge of the dock and stuck my face in my hands. Who does he think he is? I thought angrily, hot tears pressing at the corners of my eyes. 'Not worth my time'? I deserve 'someone better'? How dare he tell me that, how dare he insult Jack at a time like this...
I looked up and out across the ocean, hoping against all hope to see a small boat heading toward me carrying a smiling, waving Jack coming to save the day. But there was nothing. Just the vast, blue ocean and the ongoing ebb and flow of the waves. Suddenly I remembered what Jack had said to me a couple seasons ago, about the water of the ocean always moving, never remaining in the same place, and I wondered if the water which was now lapping against the shore was ever near where Jack was now.
With a sudden, perhaps slightly crazed impulse, I took off my jacket, shoes, and socks, and jumped headfirst into the icy cold water. My body was instantly freezing all over, but I didn't care. I swam far out from the beach, enveloped in the water, rising and falling with the current. My head was spinning, but all I could think about was reaching Jack, somehow. I would not leave him to deal with this by himself.
Soon I had swum so far out that I felt the current pulling me out even further. I looked back toward the shore, which was now a tiny speck. My body was numb, and my limbs were heavy, and I could hardly move them anymore. Then I heard a noise somewhere in the distance, seemingly miles away. It sounded... sounded as if someone was... calling me?
"Karen!" I heard, very faintly.
My thoughts whirred, and I saw black start to swarm in around me.
"KAREN!"
I opened my mouth to speak just as the blackness overtook me.
"Jack?" I said.
AN: Na na na na na na na na CLIFF-HANGER! (To the tune of 'Batman'.)
