I want to give a huge thank you to everyone who has kept up with this story. I have gotten a lot of comments about Eli, and I am really glad you all like the way I wrote his character in this particular story. In the very near future (not in the chapter, but there will be a very big glimpse) you readers will get to find out about Eli's past.

Also, a quick note, this chapter takes place approximately a week after the last. Enjoy, everybody!

Eli and I had interviewed just about every student at Degrassi for our little project, and the results had to be all over the place. We had yet to analyze them so we could come up with some kind of conclusion, but we seriously doubted there would be anything concrete.

On the plus side, the communications teacher, Mr. Thomason, had taken an interest in our project and was giving both Eli and I extra credit marks. This was awfully generous of him considering I was not in his class. Eli, on the other hand, was, and he was particularly pleased with the surprise.

Still, we had only three more people to interview before we could move on to the next step: Sav, myself, and Eli, ironically enough.

Alli, who tried to avoid the cafeteria at all costs since her breakup with Drew because he stared at her wistfully the entire period, had excused herself to study something or other in the library, leaving Eli, Sav and me alone.

She still wasn't totally thrilled with me since my bedroom outburst; all our interactions had been awkward and tentative. But, still, Alli was working hard to rebuild her life around her, and I was there for her every step of the way as long as she needed me. Our friendship was stronger than a couple of heated, cruel words, but I was still cautious to apologize every day, insanely guilty about the way that I had acted.

I sighed, pushing the thoughts of Alli from my mind for the time being so I could focus on the project.

Eli lowered himself onto the seat across from Sav and me, notebook open and ready to go. He flipped through all the answers we had already collected while Sav and I started to unpack our lunches. I watched Eli carefully number what would be our responses, and then add our names before glancing up at me expectantly.

"I hope you aren't waiting for me to ask the question…because if you don't know it by now, Edwards, I have severely overestimated your intelligence."

I sneered at him. "I was waiting for you to get ready, so you could actually listen. It's called consideration; you should try it sometime." Sav sniggered and wound his arm around my waist, pulling me close to him.

Eli simply rolled his eyes; he had been kind of quiet lately-different, weird. He kept asking me how I was feeling and all about my dad. He seemed genuinely concerned about me, toning down his normal snobby attitude and actually showing sympathy. It was starting to freak me out; I wanted normal Eli back. At least I knew what to expect out of that one; this Eli just worried me.

"Well," he prompted, "whenever you're ready, then. I wrote your name first, Clare," he pointed at me, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

I was suddenly nervous. I had a month to think about my answer and I still hadn't settled what it was exactly. Love was such an ambiguous concept to me; who was I to determine the nature of it? All I knew about love was that I was in it.

So, going with that, I thought about falling in love with Sav. It had happened kind of fast; blink and you miss it. I had ignored it for so long, but eventually it just caught up to me, sweeping me off my feet. "I think it's a combination of both a choice and an uncontrolled force," I decided. I was met by blank stares from both Sav and Eli. "What?" I questioned, suddenly self-conscious.

"That," Eli raised his eyebrow pointedly at me, "Is such a copout answer."

I scoffed, offended.

"As much as I hate to agree with Eli on anything," Sav joked, laughing, "he's kind of right, Clare-bear. That was weak."

"Would you give me a chance to explain?" I asked cheekily. Both boys held their hands up in surrender, so I took that as a go for it. "When I fell in love with Sav, it wasn't any kind of a choice. It happened so quickly that I nearly didn't understand what was going on. I mean, I adore you, Sav, but if I had a choice in the matter, I would rather not be murdered by Alli, you know? I was scared shitless when I had to tell her that we kissed; I didn't think I would make it back out of her room," I joked, and Sav chuckled happily, pulling me in closer. Eli kept his eyes trained on the paper, scribbling my answer with severe focus. "So, my point was, I didn't chose to fall in love; it happened of its own accord. I did, however, chose to acknowledge, and then act upon, said feelings of love. I had ignored it for so long, and I probably could have continued to do so if I really wanted to." I looked up at Sav and smiled as warmly as I was capable. "But I didn't want to. Because Sav is an amazing, guy, and I am so lucky to have him."

Sav leaned in to kiss me square on the lips. Usually he refrained from such potent displays of affection in front of Eli, so I was a little caught off guard, but the kiss certainly wasn't unwelcome. As I kissed him back, Eli didn't even pretend to gag; no snarky comment, nothing…which was disconcerting.

I broke away from Sav, giving him a bright smile. "I believe it is your turn, buddy," Eli's voice broke through the moment Sav and I were sharing.

"Oh, right," Sav turned back to Eli with a comical shake of his head—as if to dislodge his distraction. "I really have to go with choice. I mean, I look at it this way: the ultimate test of how much I love a girl is dealing with my parents. Obviously, sticking up for said girl in front of my parents, refusing to let the run my life, is a choice. And it is a choice I failed to make several times with Anya. When Clare wouldn't talk to me for a week…that's when I knew, and I made the choice to tell my parents I was seeing Clare, and I would continue to see Clare, as long as I wanted to. That's when I let myself, thought choice, fall in love with Clare." Sav concluded his monologue, a bright, goofy smile adorning his face. I was lost in him for a second, feeling his love all the way down to my toes, before someone in the cafeteria dropped one of the plastic trays. The loud clang snapped me back to attention and I saw Eli roll his eyes at me very deliberately.

I wanted to laugh, or cry out in happiness, since Eli had finally given me a normal, well normal for him, response to Sav's and my flirting. "You two need to find a room before you try to jump each other in front of me," he joked sarcastically, the usual edge of his words dulled considerably.

I simply narrowed my eyes at him, snatching the notebook from under his unsuspecting arm. Scanning the full page, I smiled at Eli's carefully scripted notes, the handwriting a lot neater than his usual chicken scratch. Normally it was illegible, and I made sure to tease him in English whenever the opportunity arose. But the fact that he had so carefully written out full transcripts of everyone's answer surprised me. He must have actually cared about our little project quite a bit, his effort shining through with each carefully shaped letter.

Following his system, I turned the page and copied down his full name, left the space to specify if the opinion was for or against love being a choice and numbered the interview before glancing up expectantly at Eli. His eyes were narrowed suspiciously at me.

"What? Did you really think you were getting out of this interview? Time to spill your guts, Goldsworthy."

After an exasperated sigh, clearly sure that it would be a losing battle if he tried to argue, Eli glanced down at the table in defeat. "Fine; if I must…," he trailed off, though, rubbing the back of his neck in discomfort. I waited patiently for him to pull himself together and just answer the question, already, clearing my throat loudly after a substantial amount of time passed. He finally looked up and his eyes locked with mine in an intense hold. Even if I had wanted to, I wouldn't have been able to look away. As it was my heart started to speed up just a tad as I saw the fire behind Eli's eyes, and I had become hyperaware of the fact that Sav was sitting close beside me, watching me intently. "Love isn't a choice, okay? It just…happens. It takes you by surprise; damn near kills you with shock when you realize you've fallen for the most unlikely person; someone you can never have. See, love only gives people the power to hurt you, so, if I had a choice in the matter, I would never fall in love.

"But sometimes there's just a special person who comes along; someone different from the usual self-centered, asshole, scum that walks this planet. And before you're even conscious of what's happened, she's always on your mind. You can't help but smile at just the thought of being around her and nothing in your world makes sense again. It's awful, but you can't control it. But just seeing her smile makes it worth everything."

Eli's cheeks suddenly colored in an uncharacteristic, bright red blush. His eyes finally released my own; the table suddenly becoming the most interesting thing in the room for both Eli and me. 'Don't think about it, don't think about it,' I warned myself, not totally able to push the fact that Eli delivered his entire speech about love right to me from my guilty thoughts.

With chagrin, I realized that I neglected to copy down a single word that had been a part of Eli's speech. Grateful that it gave me something to do, I started to write down everything I remembered when I noticed Sav shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Though I really didn't want to, I looked up to meet his eye. He was not pleased; apparently I wasn't the only one who had noticed the not-so-subtle implications of Eli's answer.

Quickly, I returned to the notebook, copying down everything with haste before I shoved it back across the table to Eli. "Great," my voice cracked uncomfortably, "It looks like we're done. Now we just have to go over all the answers so we can reach a conclusion."

Eli wouldn't look at me anymore—his eyes were glued to his hands were they were folded over the table. "I could come over tonight and we could start," he suggested with what I thought was a hopeful edge, fiddling with his thumbs. Sav bristled subtly next to me, a low, displeased grunt escaping his mouth.

"Tonight my dad's leaving, actually…"

Both Sav and Eli's heads whipped up to look at me with the utmost sympathy. At least they had both forgotten the uncomfortable, awkward tension that had surrounded our table like a haze seconds ago. Still, I didn't exactly welcome their attention. I was trying my hardest to ignore the looming event on my horizon; if I didn't think about it maybe it wouldn't really happen.

Not that I actually expected that to work. But it was the reason I hadn't told either of them until that very moment. I didn't talk about it, it wasn't real. Sav and Eli's looks of pity were making my dad's departure very real. Too real, in fact.

"Do you want me to…," Sav trailed off awkwardly, obviously unsure of how to approach my sudden sullenness. I had expected him to be a little hurt that I hadn't told him, but, looking into his face, I only saw comfort and understanding. He draped his arm around me and started to rub soothing circles up and down my back.

"Could you? Be there, that is," I asked him meekly.

"Of course; for you, anything."

As Sav leaned down to kiss my forehead I saw Eli shove the notebook in his backpack and awkwardly get to his feet. "I should…go. I have…something to do," he offered lamely, gesturing vaguely to the door. "I'm sorry about your dad, Edwards." Sincerity rang out of his words, and my heart gave a little lurch as Eli held my gaze for an extended second before turning on his heel and retreating like a bat out of hell.

I tried very hard to pretend like the last twenty minutes hadn't happened as I turned to face Sav. "Can you be over my house around 5? You can drive out to my dad's apartment with my mom and me."

Sav, who had been watching Eli leave with narrowed eyes, jumped a little as he turned to give me a sweet smile, "Sure thing, love."

Slightly reassured by the fact that Sav would be there for me, I pushed all thoughts of my dad out of my head once again. I attempted to lose myself in light banter and conversation with Sav, but it felt forced on both ends. If I had to guess, Sav's mind was in the exact same place that mine was—the dark, mysterious boy who may, or may not, have just admitted to being in love with me.

Alli was going to get her 'I Told You So' moment after all, wasn't she?

XXX

The rest of the day passed by in a flurry of class and worry, so by the time the final bell rang I was actually relieved to be going home as much as I had dreaded this day for the past week. Sav dropped Alli off at home before deciding he would just come back to my place with me. I really appreciated the fact that he seemed to know I didn't want to be left alone without my having to say anything at all. Sav was just too amazing; I really did love him.

Of course, he couldn't be superman all the time.

No more than ten minutes after we had taken up residence on the couch to do homework did Sav bring up a topic that was only second to my dad on the list of things I did not want to talk about.

"So you and Eli have gotten close, huh?"

"Sav," I groaned, "Can we not talk about this right now? Please; let's talk about anything else."

The look in Sav's eyes darkened just slightly. He looked as if I personally offended him with wanting to avoid the touchy topic. "Why can't we talk about it now? Can you really blame me for being angry at his little stunt earlier? I knew it; I knew from the beginning that he wanted more than friendship from you. But you didn't listen to me, Clare! I love that you want to see everybody as being just as honorable as you are, but I think Eli is trying to come between us and I don't like it! I don't like him."

The hardest part was that I couldn't blame him. Not even a little bit. Before lunch earlier I could have possibly continued to justify Eli's bizarre behavior, but now Sav had basis for his anger and prejudice.

Still, I couldn't totally suppress the stubborn need to defend my judgment, flaring at Sav's accusations. "I'm not going to pretend like I didn't understand the subtext of Eli's speech, but, Sav, you really have to trust me! I would never, under any circumstances, let anyone come between us." My promise was fervent, but I couldn't help feeling like I was lying to Sav. I couldn't explain it even if I had the desire to, but a sneaking suspicion in the back of my mind seemed to think that Eli already had come been Sav and me. But, as per usual, I brushed off the negative feelings. I would never let things with Eli go too far; I would have to set him straight about the nature of our friendship the next time I saw him. "And I do like Eli…as a friend," I hastened to add. "I am not going to stop hanging out with him; I'll just have to be more careful about giving him the wrong idea."

Sav sat, slack jawed, staring at me. I waited in silence for him to say something, shifting in my seat and clearing my throat uncomfortably when he didn't for an extended amount of time. The sound seemed to rouse Sav out of his frozen state of disbelief.

"I—you—what?"

"I can see your English education is really paying off," I jabbed, turning back to the genetics worksheet I had to complete.

"You're not serious right now," Sav tried to clarify, incredulity saturating his voice.

"Yes, I really am," I answered him defiantly, putting the finishing touches on a Punnett Square as I refused to meet his eye.

He seemed to drop deep into thought, really considering what he wanted to say next, when my mother burst through the door looking stressed and harebrained. "We're not done talking about this," he promised under his breath. I simply rolled my eyes and continued to work on the science. Sav was supposed to be there for moral support, not to point accusatory fingers at me about Eli. He knew what kind of girl I was; I didn't know why Sav was so sure that Eli would destroy our relationship when the chance of me straying was nonexistent.

"Hello Clare, Sav—how was school?" my mother questioned as she placed her brief case under the hall table.

"Fine," I replied tensely, digging my pencil into the unoffending paper with too much force. Sav made no protest to discredit my answer, but I knew that he did not agree with my choice of adjective.

"How are you, Miss Edwards?"

"I've been better," she answered honestly, brushing her hair nervously away from her face. "And I've told you a million times, please, call me Helen, Sav. Will you be joining us to send Randall off?"

I cleared my throat, trying to ignore the jabbing feeling in my chest. Sav, though we had just fought, reached out to place a comforting hand on my knee. He made it really hard to stay mad at him…

"That's the plan; if it's not a problem with you, of course? I just wanted to be there for Clare."

A reassuring squeeze accompanied Sav's words and I felt my eyes tear up. After hastily wiping them away I placed my hand on top of the larger, darker one, feeling just a tad better about everything.

"Of course I don't mind, dear. We leave in an hour, so be ready, Clare." I nodded as she made her way up the stairs; presumably to change out of her work attire.

"He's my friend; I'm not going to stop seeing him, Sav," I whispered under my breath once I was sure she was gone.

"I suppose I don't expect you to," he let out a resigned sigh, "But I still don't really like it, Clare."

"I understand that."

We started at each other for a prolonged moment until Sav shook his head, leaning back against the couch. "I love you. That's never going to change."

A small smile fought its way onto my lips, the bad mood momentarily forgotten. "I love you, too. No brooding, mysterious, sarcastic guy is going to change that," I promised him.

With a light chuckle, Sav leaned in to press a loving kiss to my temple.

After our spat had been abandoned, the hour passed productively and easily. Sav and I lapsed into a comfortable silence as we completed the remaining homework we had. My mother came down dressed uncharacteristically in jeans and a t-shirt looking tired. She disappeared to her office for a while, coming out exactly an hour after she had announced when we would depart. Wordlessly, Sav and I climbed into the backseat of my mother's car. She didn't even put up any complaints that she was not a taxi service—just letting me be as I snuggled against Sav during the short ride to my dad's apartment complex.

The moving truck was already poised in the parking lot, open, and full of Dad's interesting choices of furniture. Seriously, his leather couch and old, suede armchair just screamed bachelor. I found myself smiling fondly in spite of the sinking feeling I felt immediately in my stomach.

Seeming to read my mind, Sav wound his arm around my waist and squeezed tightly, if only briefly. My dad immerged from the front door carrying a box that looked far too big for him. Sav and I rushed forward to help him as he was staggering under the weight. "Oh, Sav, what a nice surprise; I wasn't expect to see you here," my dad clasped Sav on the shoulder as he reached for the box first, removing it from my father's arms gingerly before walking over to the truck and sliding it inside.

"Yeah, well, Clare didn't tell me this was the big day until earlier. But I wouldn't miss it."

My dad smiled warmly at Sav before pulling me into a tight hug. "You hang onto this one; he's a keeper," Dad whispered in my ear, just loud enough that Sav could hear too. I flushed a deep red.

"I intend to."

"Helen—thanks for coming," my dad pulled her into a hug as well.

"As if I was going to let you leave town without a proper send off," Mom smiled warmly at him and for a second I could have sworn that the divorce had never happened. But it had…and Dad was really leaving. I bite back the tears of selfish anger and resentment.

"Are there any more boxes in your room?" Sav asked helpfully once a silence had befallen the gathering.

"Just one or two," my dad shrugged. "But there is no need for you to worry; I can handle them."

Sav rolled his eyes pleasantly, already headed for the door. "Clare and I can handle it; no problem."

Not bothering to put up much of an argument, my dad merely shrugged in surrender. I followed Sav to the door, leading him the room. The door was propped open and all the walls were barren. It was a sad sight, really. Sav instantly made his way to the lone box in the middle of the would-be living room.

I hadn't spent too much time in the apartment, but enough that it was familiar, welcoming. I had already moved all of my stuff out of the spare bedroom a few days ago, and that had felt ominous enough, but to see everything completely empty screamed depression to me. How was I ever going to get used to the idea that my dad was no longer a short walk across town?

Sadly, I pressed my hand against the ugly wallpaper, suppressing the desire to sob…

I heard a dull thud from the doorway and suddenly Sav's long arms were wrapped around my hips, pulling my in close to his chest. "Clare, he's not going to be that far away; you'll still get to visit him. I know this is hard for you, but your dad loves you too much to completely disappear. He didn't after the divorce and he won't now."

I turned my body around in the warm constriction of his arms, burying my head in his chest. "Thank you for coming tonight," I whispered hoarsely, a few tears finally leaking over.

"I love you, Clare. There was no way I was going to let you go through this without me. And it's okay to cry you know; it is sad that he's leaving. It's just not the end of the world, okay?"

Somehow Sav knew exactly what I needed to hear. So, there against his chest, I let the tears gush out of me, relentless and bitter. "I just don't want him to go—it'll make everything so different," I wailed.

Sav rubbed soothing circles across my lower back. "Change doesn't always have to be bad; inevitable, maybe, but not the worst that could happen."

After a few minutes I had pulled myself together and was smiling thankfully up at Sav. "They're going to wonder what happened to us," I pointed out in reference to my parents.

"Oh, right; we wouldn't want to give them the wrong idea," Sav whipped around and retrieved the box he had dropped. I shut off the lights and closed the door as I walked out behind him.

Back in the parking lot, Sav placed the last box inside the moving van, still ignoring my feeble offers to take the box off his hands. Mom and Dad approached shortly after that. "Thanks, Sav; I really could have handled it." Sav waved off my dad's concerns, placing an arm around my shoulders as I took a shuddering deep breath. "Well…I just turned the key into the landlord," he gestured vaguely in the direction he and my mom had just returned from. "I suppose I am ready to go, then." I tried not to let out a gasp of horror. Sav rubbed my arm sympathetically and I saw my mother shoot me a pitying gaze. Of course, I could see my own sadness mirrored in her eyes.

"You have someone in Quebec to help you move into the new place, right?" she checked.

"Our old college buddy, Josh, is down there and waiting for my arrival!"

"I didn't know Josh was in Quebec," Mom smiled slightly, apparently pleased that Dad wasn't going to be totally alone once he got to the new town. I wish I could have found the same amount of comfort that some stranger, to me anyway, would be keeping Dad company.

"He's married now, too. His wife's family lives out in the area so that's how he ended up there," my dad explained awkwardly before everyone lapsed into a strange silence. Apparently there was nothing else to be done—plenty left to be said, but no one was talking. I could almost feel the moment that my dad would hop into the car and officially drive out of my life fast approaching. "Well, I guess that's it," he finally spoke again, shifting his weight from one foot to the other nervously. "I'll call you guys when I'm in Quebec, okay?"

Nodding, my mother approached him and they embraced fiercely. Dad placed a light kiss to her forehead as she pulled away, and I saw tears glistening in Mom's eyes. "Take care of yourself, Randall. I love you."

"I love you, too, Helen. We'll see each other soon enough, I suppose," he smiled sadly at her, squeezing her hand reassuringly before he turned to me. Sav shifted out of the way awkwardly, moving to join Mom near the car. They were both just out of earshot, and I appreciated their attempt to give me a moment alone with Dad before he left. "I'll call you every day, Clare-bear. I promise you, I won't be like just after the divorce. And you are welcome to come down for the weekend anytime you want, alright baby?"

A few more tears leaked out of my eyes and I reached up to scrub them away, frustrated. I thought I had completely cried myself out. My dad gave me an understanding smile, though, and pulled me in for a bone-crushing hug. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, too, Clare. You're the best daughter a father could ask for—you and Darcy. You and your mom look after each other. I will visit when I can, too; although work might be a bit time consuming for the first few months. I'm not worried about you, though; you've got a good head on your shoulders."

With kiss to the top of my head, he pulled away, smiling forlornly at me. I nodded at him—letting him know that I heard everything he had said loud and clear, but also to tell him that it was okay for him to leave. This was best for him. He had to do it; I wasn't going to stop him or begrudge him the opportunity. What kind of a daughter would I be?

My dad walked over to Sav once more, gave him a firm handshake and then pulled him in to whisper something in Sav's ear. Sav smiled, laughed and nodded before my dad gave brief instructions to the driver of the moving van. He paused to give us all a smile and a thumbs up before he slipped into the driver's side of his old beater and pulled slowly out of the lot, the van not far off his trail.

I took in a ragged breath. That was it. He was gone.

I heard my mother quietly crying next to me, and I reached out to grab her hand as Sav pulled me against his chest. I was beyond lucky to have the both of them in my life, and I clung as tight as I could to their presence, a physical form of comfort, as Dad's car disappeared into a tiny speck on the horizon.

XXX

The next morning I had trouble rubbing the sleep from my swollen, red eyes. I had held my complete breakdown at bay during the duration of dinner, which Sav and I helped my mother prepare, and all through the rest of the evening that Sav remained at my side. After a few hours of television and cuddling, Sav kissed me sweetly and promised to pick me up in the morning. He had been so lovely and supportive throughout the day, but I had been so focused on not losing it so his efforts would not appear to be in vain, that I had forgotten to tell him just how much I appreciated everything that he did, and continued to do, for me.

The mix of my regret and total devastation had finally weighed too heavily on my chest for me to take a second longer after I had collapsed in bed. And thus the waterworks had commenced—and they didn't end till nearly 2:30 in the morning.

Still, after my lids unwillingly broke apart to absorb the dull light of the rainy morning I realized I felt much better. My dad's departure no longer seemed like the end of the world; after all, we would still be seeing plenty of each other. Maybe not as much as I was used to, but this change was for the better.

Of course, I had been telling myself this since I had heard the news of the job offer, but the words no longer sounded like feeble lies in my own head. I was actually starting to believe that this was all going to be okay.

After pulling on a dress and cardigan ensemble, scarfing down a quick breakfast and saying goodbye to my mother, I ventured into the cool, misty air to wait for Sav. It didn't take long for the car to pull up to my curb, though the humidity had already wreaked its havoc on my hair.

I slid into the back seat and smiled at Sav and Alli. "Good morning," I greeted with chipper inflection that didn't feel forced in the slightest. I loved the rain—today already felt like a good day. Much better than yesterday, in any case.

"Good morning," Sav smiled, bemused by my drastic attitude change since the night before, back at me. However, Alli turned around in her seat to glare at me.

"What; what did I do this time?" I questioned, alarmed.

"It's more like what you didn't do. If you had told me that your dad was leaving yesterday I would have been there, too, you doof!"

I stuttered, ashamed. I hadn't even thought to ask Alli for moral support. In fact, I hadn't really unloaded any of my emotional distress on her since she moved back to her parent's house. Partly because I was still on probation for cruel words after the journal incident, but I was also worried that Alli didn't need anyone else's problems to contend with but her own these days. I hadn't realized that withholding the details of my life would offend her further.

Finally, recovering my initial shock at Alli's upset attitude, I managed to find words. "I-I didn't want to pressure you or stressed you out, Alli; I'm sorry."

"Clare, I know we're a little strained at the moment, but we're still best friends. Nothing's going to change that—I still want you to tell me everything! Things are great at home so stop treating me like some porcelain doll that will shatter if you drop."

"You're right; I really am sorry, Alli."

"You're forgiven, of course," Alli rolled her eyes, but winked at me. I sighed, relieved. "So, are you okay, Clare-bear?"

"I am actually. It took me a bit to realize, but this doesn't have to put a damper on my family. It's going to be weird and take some adjusting, but I've been through worse. Everything will work out for the best." I saw Sav's satisfied smirk at my speech and Alli simply nodded along, pleased. I slid as far forward in my seat as the seatbelt would allow so I could be closer to Sav. "And I know I already thanked you, but, really, you're amazing. You have no idea how much it meant to me that you were there last night."

"Don't worry, Clare, I know that you're appreciative," Sav brushed me off, but I saw a pleasant blush rise to color his cheeks.

"And, in light of our argument yesterday, I promise to talk to Eli today about…you know."

Sav opened his mouth to say something, but Alli immediately cut him off as we pulled into Degrassi's parking lot. "What about Eli; what happened?" she pounced, a knowing gleam in her eyes.

I cringed, knowing that Alli was going to get plenty of satisfaction once I told her the happenings of lunch the day before. Sav parked the car in our usual space and I grabbed my bag. "Follow me to class and I'll tell you all about it," I relented, placing a light kiss on Sav's cheek. "I'll see you later."

As predicted, Alli looked quite pleased with herself, but also kind of horrified, after I finished recounting Eli's awkward revelation. Although, to my pleasant surprise, Alli managed to refrain from vocalizing any form of 'I told you so'. Still, I could see it written all over her face. "So are you going to tell him you can't be friends anymore?" Alli questioned eagerly. "Because you don't share his feelings? Right?" As her voice grew skeptical and demanding an embarrassed blush rose to my cheeks and I felt positively horrid. "Clare, don't look at me like that. I might be forced to punch you."

As we stopped at my locker I busied myself with retrieving my books for our first class to buy some time before answering Alli. I hadn't even stopped to think about how I felt about the whole thing; not really. I knew that I didn't return Eli's exact feelings, but it was never my intention to cut him out of my life completely. I liked his company, but we didn't know each other very well. Eli just needed an outlet for his pent up emotion, at least I assumed they were pent up since he never talked to anyone, and he chose me for lack of anything better. It wasn't like he actually loved me. There was no way; he just thought he did.

But my stomach did a horrified flip as I realized how alarmingly…not unpleasant I found the idea of Eli being in love with me.

"Of course I don't share his feelings, Alli; don't be an idiot," I finally replied adamantly, reassuring both myself and her at the same time. I shrugged the confused, sickening thoughts from my mind. "I love Sav, remember? But I am not going to tell Eli I am abandoning his friendship. He doesn't actually love me—I'm just the only one who listens to him. I'm not going to take that away from him; I just want to confront him about the impossibilities of what he thinks are genuine feelings."

"Uh-uh, I'm the idiot," Alli narrowed her eyes scathingly.

Thankfully, the warning bell sounded before I could counter, or listen to anything else Alli had to say. We rushed to class in a strained silence, and I managed to ignore all of Alli's probing stares over the duration of the lesson. I loved her, and I really appreciated that she wanted to look after me, but I was tired of the whole vendetta against Eli. Why couldn't set everything straight so we could be friends? Was that really such an awful idea?

As soon as the bell signified the end of first period, I shot from my seat, not really in the mood to hear more of Alli's ideas on how I should handle the situation. When I arrived in English I was a little surprised to find Eli's seat empty; he usually got to class before me. It wasn't like I wanted to have such an important discussion in the few minutes before class started, but I was hoping to get a feel for Eli's attitude. It seemed to change day to day, and it would give me a better idea for how to approach what I had to say. Come to think of it, though, I realized Eli hadn't been at his locker earlier, either.

I sat patiently through class, but Eli never turned up. Apparently he wasn't feeling well or something…in spite of myself, I started to worry. I had the distinct impression that Eli was fairly alone in life, so was he sick at home, all alone? Maybe I could take him soup after school, check to see how he was doing. Not to mention, I was pretty desperate to talk to him…

By the time class was over I had made up my mind. I could gather up Eli's homework and take it to him after school along with some chicken noodle soup; I would just have to convince the office to give me his address since I was completely ignorant to where Eli lived. I shoved my notebook in my bag and approached Miss Dawes's desk. "Ma'am," I called for her attention tentatively.

"Oh, how can I help you, Miss Edwards?" she asked kindly, turning away from erasing the backboard.

"Can you give me a copy of the new essay prompt for Eli; he asked me to gather his homework for today."

Miss Dawes raised her eyebrows skeptically at me and I felt myself flush. "Well, it's not exactly customary practice…but both you and Mr. Goldsworthy are conscientious students. I suppose I can make an exception." With a warm smile, Dawes signed out one of her battered copies of Lord of the Flies for Eli, wrote down the pages he was supposed to have read by Friday on a half-sheet of paper with the essay requirements and handed me the book along with a late pass to my next class so I had time to go to my locker. I thanked her and then rushed off to my next class.

Since I had a pretty good idea of Eli's school schedule, I went around between classes gathering up all his homework. It went the same way with almost every teacher—they were surprised I was asking in the first place, but they seemed to think me a trustworthy enough student to comply with the strange request.

By the time lunch rolled around the only teacher I hadn't visited yet was Mr. Thomason for Eli's communication homework. Feeling pretty satisfied with my work, I made my way to the cafeteria where Sav and Alli were already sitting at our regular table, immersed in conversation. They stopped dead when I approached the table. Suspicious…

"Hey, Clare; how was your morning?" Sav questioned brightly.

"Productive," I replied vaguely. "Were you just talking about me?"

"It's good to see you, too," he joked, jabbing me in the side while Alli just rolled her eyes.

"Fine—how was your morning?"

"Uneventful at best," Sav smirked and I stuck my tongue out at him.

"So, were you talking about me?" I prompted, nervous that Alli might have taken something about our earlier Eli discussion out of context. Still, Sav was acting pretty cheerful. It was doubtful that he would be joking and smiling if Alli let it slip that I had hesitated before denying any sort of feelings for Eli.

"Yup," Sav wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to place a kiss on my temple. "We do have an anniversary coming up again soon—I was just asking Alli's advice on some ideas."

I heaved a sigh of relief at the same time a pleased blush colored my cheeks. "So," I turned to Alli, "should I be worried?"

"Oh, definitely," she chuckled darkly and started to hum a distantly familiar melody that made me think of the cafeteria and Anya. 'Weird,' I thought to myself. Sav shot Alli a warning look that shut her up almost as instantly as she had started.

"Are you busy tonight, Clare?" he asked suddenly. "I was wondering if you'd want to hang out after school."

He was being oddly formal and I raised my eyebrow questioningly at him. "I-yeah, I am; sorry."

Sav's face fell minimally. "Oh, okay. I have been avoiding a growing stack of homework that I need to get done…what are you up to?"

My stomach dropped in guilt, but my instinct suddenly flared fiercely; it was telling me to keep my real plans a secret from Sav if I wanted to avoid a fight. "My mom and I were just going to spend some time together. She puts on a brave face, but I think she's actually pretty torn up about my dad's move. After all, they did manage to stay pretty good friends after the divorce." It took a bit of effort, but I managed to stop nervously rambling, the guilt in my stomach increasing. It was true that my mom seemed pretty upset, and I probably should have been going home to spend time with her. But I wasn't. Instead I was lying to Sav and planning to visit a boy who may or may not have strong feelings for me.

Why was I digging myself a hole that I would be unlikely to make it out of unscathed?

I puzzled over why I was being such an idiot the rest of the school day, yet, though I had plenty of chances to, I didn't amend my stupidity and take Sav up on his offer. Or, at the very least, tell him the truth about why I wouldn't be able to hang out.

Sav dropped me off at my house, giving me a peck on the lips before I climbed out of the passenger seat. When Alli got out of the back to take my place, she shot me a look that very clearly stated that she would be calling me later to talk. Mostly likely about Eli, if I had to guess. Though nothing was said at lunch about his absence, I hardly thought it had gone unnoticed.

I dropped my unusually heavy bag—Eli's homework in addition to my own seemed to add at least ten pounds—on the couch before I ran into the kitchen to make some soup. As I mixed the pot absentmindedly I could feel the guilt eating away at my stomach, but there was no way I was going to ignore the opportunity to see where Eli lived. I tried to convince myself that solving at least one of Eli's mysteries was the only reason I was going, but the nagging voice in the back of my head, which sounded suspiciously like Alli, wasn't buying it.

Degrassi's secretary was a regular at my church and good friends with my mom, so it had only taken a minimal amount of convincing and pleading to persuade her to disclose the home address listed for Eli Goldsworthy. The slip of paper she had given me seemed to be burning a hole in the pocket of my cardigan.

Continuing to ignore my guilt, I poured the soup in a Tupperware container, washed out the pot I used and quickly looked up directions to Eli's house. It seemed to be just on the outskirts of the city, and if I left in the next few minutes I would make it there just before 4. I decided it would be best to walk to a bus station and then take a bus as close to the address as possible, so gathered my bag and headed out the door. The weather had improved enough that it wasn't raining, but the skies were still downcast. Still, I was thankful that it was no longer lightly raining—I wasn't exactly in the mood for a shower.

The trip seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, most likely because I distracted myself with Lord of the Flies instead of continuing the psychoanalysis of my twisted intentions.

As I stepped off the bus onto the street I realized how daunting this truly was—discovering the unknown. Carefully, I took in my surroundings. All the buildings seemed to be a bit run-down and decayed; the neighborhood didn't exactly scream suburban. In fact, it felt more abandoned than anything. I started to walk, though, my heart thudding loudly in my chest. Finally I spotted a small house that displayed the street number on the peeling paint of a wooden porch. Having obtained a reference point, I pulled the crumpled slip of paper out of my pocket and looked at Eli's address one last time. According to the paper, the next house on the left was where Eli lived.

I glanced up to find a slightly larger, yet much worse for ware, wooden structure that could barely even be considered a house. It gave off the appearance that it was in the middle of collapsing; that perhaps, if you blinked, you would find the place in ruins on the ground.

Swallowing my sudden upswing fear and nerves, I crossed the street and headed up to the front door. I wondered briefly if Eli would be angry at me for digging into his personal life before he was ready to share. Then I figured that I had already come this far…I could handle the wrath of Eli in exchange for finally getting some answers.

With once last gulp I gathered all my courage and knocked on the door.

A tall, blonde, scruffy looking boy who was most certainly not Eli answered the door. He looked to be about 23. He gave me the once over and tried to smile—it came out more like a sneer, though. "Look, your cookies are delicious, but we're not buying, okay? Better luck in a different neighborhood, sweetie."

And then he slammed the door in my face.

I blinked, confused and shocked.

Once I regained some of my wits, I pulled the paper back out from my pocket. Nope, I had the right place for certain. Tentatively, I knocked again. Blondie answered once more. "Seriously, kid, nobody is going to buy anything from you here. I don't know who gave you the brilliant idea to-"

I cut him off before he could shut the door again. "I am not a girl scout, and I am certainly not trying to sell you anything," I protested adamantly.

This seemed to catch him off guard. "Who the hell are you, then?"

I wanted to come back with a snappy retort, but the kid was intimidating and I felt irrationally afraid. Suddenly, before I could answer, another, much younger, kid approached the door. She was very pretty with waist long, red hair, but he face seemed hard and unforgiving. "Lay off the girl, would you Ted—she looks terrified." There was a hint of amusement in her voice, and I would have been offended had I not been so grateful.

"It's not like we get a lot of visitors here; excuse me for being cautious," Ted rolled his eyes.

The girl ignored him and held out her hand to be. "I'm Vicky," her attempt at a smile was much more successful than Ted's had been. "Seriously, though, who are you?"

"I'm, uh, I'm Clare Edwards."

Realization dawned on both Vicky and Ted's faces so obviously that it was almost comical. I didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

I decided it was when Ted clasped my shoulder in a friendly gesture and invited me to come in. I stepped awkwardly past the threshold and discovered that the outside looked brand-spanking-new compared to the interior. The wallpaper was faded and peeling, the furniture was ragged and lousy with tears and everything just screamed old. Not to mention, I could hear at least three other voices coming from a different room not too far away.

"So you're the girl Eli never shuts up about," Vicky smiled at me happily. In one sense, I was happy to have confirmation that Eli did indeed have connections to this bizarre place. On the other hand, it was a little unnerving to hear that Eli, the boy who barely spoke without much encouragement, allegedly talked about me a lot.

"Sure," I offered, trying my best to smile back warmly.

"We've got to thank you, man," Ted spoke up, his face much less frightening now that he wasn't gruffly questioning my existence. "Eli's much more fun to live with since he's met you."

With so much going on, I barely had time to absorb all the indirect information that was being hurled at me in mass quantities. So, weakly, I rifled through my bag to gather up Eli's school work and held it out to Vicky without explanation. She raised her eyebrows at me before taking it. "And this would be…?" she prompted me as if she didn't think very much of my intelligence.

"Oh, um, right; sorry. That's Eli's homework," I also pulled the soup from my bag. "I guess he was sick today, so I made him this, too," I held up the container as evidence. "Is he home?"

"What are you; like his mother?" Ted asked but he took the soup eagerly from my hands.

"No wonder Eli thinks you're the coolest thing since sliced bread," Vicky smirked knowingly before answering my question. "He's at work right now, actually. I'll tell him you stopped by, though. He might not be thrilled about the homework, but I bet he'll appreciate the soup. If there is any left when he gets home, that is." She narrowed her eyes dangerously at Ted who simply shrugged and walked in the direction of the other voices I heard.

I shifted my weight awkwardly from one foot to the next. "So, I should, uh, I should go, I guess."

Vicky shrugged, untroubled. "Sure. It was nice to finally meet you," she offered, but it wasn't too convincing. She seemed especially bored, actually.

"Yeah, you too; tell Eli I said hi."

With a curt nod and a hard smile, Vicky practically shoved me back out the door and closed it roughly behind me.

I wasn't sure how long I stood there staring at the rotting wood and trying to process everything that had just happened, but as a lone car drove past I practically jumped out of my skin, crashing back into the real world with nothing but more confusion than I had ever felt toward Eli's life than I had ever had to contend with before.

The only coherent thought I managed the entire way back home was, 'What the hell just happened?'