The kitchen was filled with a lovely comfortable, cosy atmosphere. Erin was filled with dread and worry. The two didn't go well and already Nikki had noticed there was something wrong with Erin and had asked her about it

Erin had just shrugged in response

"You're worried about meeting Janet aren't you?" Nikki said

"Stop with telepathy" Nikki knew she was right

"Bit you know Janet; you've met her and gotten on well with her"

"I'm just not very confident around strangers at the moment" Erin mumbled

"But she's not a stranger; you've been introduced to her before"

Everyone is a stranger" Erin told her bluntly "There's just a variety of levels"

Nikki chose to leave it there and moved the conversation to a safer topic, namely what sauce she should make to accompany the meal


When Leo and Harry finally got in, Nikki was so concerned about Erin that she took Leo to one side

"How much does Janet know about what happened?" she asked

"A little" Leo admitted "She knew that Erin had been in hospital and I gave her the briefest of outlines to why"

"Erin's very unsettled about tonight" Nikki told him

"I know" Leo's reply was reluctant "But she cant hide away from the world forever"


"What?" Harry exclaimed, hardly able to believe what he was hearing

He was sitting in a chair opposite Erin who was talking to him whilst balancing a gurgling Alice on his knee who was accompanying their conversation with an original composition of hers

"I don't like Janet" Erin said bluntly

"When exactly did you come to this conclusion?"

Erin shrugged "She is a stranger"

Harry sighed "Janet is not like Nora. Erin, you know she isn't, this is just you be irrational"

"I'm not irrational" Erin half shouted

"Erin!" Leo's voice drifted in from the kitchen where he was helping Nikki "There's no need to shout"

Erin mumbled an apology and went back to brooding

"You can get past this you know" Harry told her as he set Alice down on the floor

"No I cant" Erin said "She's still there every time I close my eyes. She's the last thing I think about before going to bed and the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning"

"It will take time" he told her "Have you spoken to Dan Williams about this?" he asked her, referring to Erin psychologist

She shook her head "Not since she put me in hospital"

"Maybe you should"

Erin shrugged and Harry knew not to push the matter any further

Suddenly lots of things happened at once. The doorbell rang, Erin froze and Alice started to cry. These responses weren't a particularly good omen to the dinner that was about to be undertaken


"Hi Janet" Nikki greeted to woman as she stepped through the doorway

Janet had been greeted warmly by Harry and Nikki. Even more warmly by Leo. But coldly by Erin who hadn't even looked at the new arrival

"Hello Erin…" Janet tried again

But Erin continued to stare at a section of wall like no one had even tried to get her attention. Loaded looks were passed between the three pathologists but still Erin said nothing

"I'm just about to serve dinner" Nikki said

"Are you coming Erin?" Harry called as he scooped Alice up

She made no response

"We'll be in, in a minute" Leo told then

The room cleared leaving just Leo and Erin behind

"Erin" Leo said standing in front of her

She slowly looked at him

"Nikki is just going to serve dinner now. Please come to the table"

"I'm not hungry" the response was short and blunt

"She's gone to a lot of effort"

"I'm not hungry" she repeated

"Erin" Leo said very calmly "We've talked about your attitude and behaviour before. Now Nikki has gone to a lot of effort and I would like you to come to the table now"

Wordlessly Erin got to her feet and limped over to the kitchen to join the rest of the group.


It was quite incredible how one silent member could make a dinner so awkward. Erin said nothing and just stared at her plate only prompted into movement by Leo. She refused to be drawn into conversation and just sat there like a ghost not making any conversation to it but still making an impact. Her silence spoke volumes

Something had changed in Erin since the meeting with Nora. It had brought up the old feelings she had tried to bury. She was feeling restless and trapped again. Erin needed to be free. She didn't want to stay anymore, she didn't want to talk to a psychologists. The time for talking was over; words could not keep her sanctuary in tact. Nothing could. The walls had been broken down and obliterated into shards and shards of tiny fragments.

She had tried to run away from her past but each time she built as new sanctuary, she could only watch it be destroyed. Every time she thought she was coping, another moment would flash past and she would be right back to misery. She wasn't coping though she pretended she was. Even her imaginary worlds couldn't keep her safe; images of Nora and her mother plagued her little world. She could never be free. The only thing she could do was keep moving away from the past, trying to keep one step ahead of its shadowy grasp. She knew what she had to do

Erin was going to leave.