Disclaimer: D.Gray-Man belongs to Hoshino Katsura.
Chapitre Cinq: Mr Cheerleader
Sachiko was humming cheerfully as she ran across the fields to the supplies room for the cheerleading club. Her secret of being bi-gender was public in school, and to her joy most of her peers accepted her unique self. Today there was no practice since they just wrapped up a cheer for a friendly inter-school competition. She nearly giggled out loud at the mere memory of her private conversation with Tyki yesterday. The man was one of the most interesting people she ever met!
Sachiko stared at Tyki in undisguised amusement after Tyki had explained to her the REAL situation about Allen, Kanda and Lavi. "You know, you should have told Allen you made Kanda make a bet with you-cho," she commented while hiding her snickering behind one hand. Tyki looked positively scandalized. If Allen knew Tyki was partly the cause of Kanda's aggressive pursuit; and with Allen's virginity at stake nonetheless, Tyki was sure Allen would not hesitate to slaughter him in cold blood.
"As much as I love Allen, I value my own life too."
The cute girl-boy laughed aloud. "Stuck between a rock and a hard place, aren't you? But why are you telling me this-cho?"
"You're physically in a position to help Allen better than I am. As a family member, I'm counting on you to help me protect Allen from Kanda. Maybe Kanda deserves a chance, but no way am I going to see Allen suffer heartbreak after all he had been through as a child. Nothing gets more traumatic than losing your closest relatives and then having to live with Cross, no offence to your dad," Tyki responded, suppressing a shiver as he once again imagined Cross doing something very un-Cross-like.
"I see…I'll do what I can-cho!"
But of course, Sachiko made no sort of promise, she only said she would do what she could to help with the situation, and help she would. A sinister smile crept up her adorable visage. She had dedicated her whole self in assisting Kanda Yu attain Allen Walker's heart. Tyki was right, Kanda does deserve a chance, and Sachiko wanted to be the one to let Kanda grasp that chance. However, it would seem that her devious skills were required much sooner than she thought it would. Kanda was spotted at the gates, sitting in his convertible, and smoking as he did. She immediately approached the car, ignoring the displeased glare Kanda sent her.
"Kanda Yu-pon-cho?"
Kanda looked at the girl who approached him, probably another mindless fan. But this girl was different, because he was debriefed by Lavi that day. Sachiko waited patiently for him to answer. "…Back off what's mine," was Kanda's introductory growl. The girl whom he had marked as a potential bother only giggled as if his words were a joke.
"Kanda-pon must be talking about Allen! Don't worry, I am here to help you win Allen's heart-cho!"
To say Kanda was bewildered by Sachiko's statement was an understatement. "Who told you about it?"
"Let's just say I have my sources!"
Kanda frowned. Having inside help made getting Allen a great deal easier, but all offers come with a catch. Growing up in a world of eat or be eaten, Kanda was extremely cautious of such seemingly careless offerings. One never knows when promises might endanger one's life. A strict abider of his personal principles, Kanda thought twice about accepting Sachiko's offer. Was she not very close to Allen? Why would she help him knowing he had a reputation of being a playboy? Perhaps she wanted some sort of reward in return?
"Name your price," he coldly stated.
"That makes me sound like a gold digger! I don't want anything in return-cho!" The cute girl pouted at the fact Kanda assumed her to be a slave to material items.
"…Then why do you want to help me?" Kanda questioned. "Because I want to see MAN-LOVE-cho!!" Sachiko yelled back in full force.
That shut Kanda up effectively. He went blank at Sachiko's declaration. He never entertained the thought of Sachiko possibly being a lover of homosexuals, not that he was, of course. Allen was only a bet he needed to win to rub into Tyki's face. But…If this was truly the case, then who was Kanda to cruelly reject the poor girl? "…How can you offer your help?" The model asked coolly. Sachiko's lips grew into a full grin once more. It reminded Kanda horribly of Lavi when the redhead was up to his no-good shenanigans.
"Nyufu, wait a moment-cho! I will get you the appropriate outfit!"
The hyperactive girl now bounded off to God-knows-where, leaving Kanda to wait in his convertible. With nothing else to do, Kanda decided to park his car outside the school and step into the grounds to wait for Sachiko instead. She returned much sooner than he expected, a soft lump in her arms. The lump was thrust to him, and without delay, he unfolded the bundle. To his surprise, it was the Black Order school uniform. It was almost nostalgic that he was going to wear a uniform again, but Kanda was no sentimental person. And as with the Academy's tradition, the uniform design had changed. It was probably stupid since the uniforms changed every year and that meant that they had to buy uniforms every year. He vaguely remembered that his old uniforms were still hanging in his old closet inside one of his rooms in his mansion.
"Put it on and then we can sneak into the school!" Sachiko suggested brilliantly and without any qualms, dragged Kanda away to the restrooms. Grumbling aloud at the off-handed manner in which Sachiko dealt him, Kanda shrugged off his casual slacks and his thick coat to put on the pants and the regular white shirt and the deep navy coloured blazer. He was surprised that it fit; Sachiko must be a good judge of size. But where did she get her hands on a uniform so conveniently? Kanda pondered for a while. It didn't matter; as long as it served his purpose then he didn't need to ask questions.
"So where are we heading?"
"Hm, according to roster he's attending chess club this week, but first I'll take you to the Modelling Club and the Otaku Club. They have some valuable items I believe you would spend your fortune on."
"What sort of merchandise? I don't buy bullshit like photo collections, games, toys, clothes, keychains, straps or anything freaks like otakus do," Kanda muttered under his breath. Sachiko smirked unlike herself. "Oh, Kanda-pon…Then you have NO idea what kind of freaky otaku I am going to TURN you into."
Kanda suppressed a shudder at the sinister implications of her words; he was not supposed to feel threatened by a girl! Sachiko seemed to be doing calculations with her fingers, ignoring Kanda who was dutifully trailing behind her. His skin tingled with the mere thought of seeing Allen again. Kanda sarcastically wondered whether he had a medically certifiable disease with his incessant desire for sex, especially when he sees the baby smooth skin and the eccentric white hair and those God-forbid invitingly sexy lips puckered into a smile and from then on Kanda's train of thoughts dived into the cave of rated images. Suddenly, Sachiko stopped and turned to him. "How much cash do you have on you right now?"
Kanda did a mental roll-back to his rational thoughts. "…Enough to buy a car." The girl grinned. "Good. That means you've got enough dough to cover full expenses."
"What expenses?"
"First, I would like you to know that before I approve of Allen-hunting, I want you to get to know him better-cho. And you know how they say a picture represents a thousand words? It really does tell a lot about a person-cho. And the reason you are such a successful model is because even with the camera, your body language and mood remain enigmatic and secretive. The women love a man like that-cho and photographers just want to dig into the truth behind your mystery so much they can't get enough of your pictures-cho."
Kanda was again in surprise. He never saw his success in that perspective. He always thought lust and prestige motivated the people who fluttered and worked around him. Maybe the world was not as satirical as he thought. Sachiko did not care for his quiet epiphany. Instead she continued speaking. "And bringing up the topic of picture, you will have no choice but to first approach Allen in his pictures-cho. The modelling club has eight albums worth of Allen's pictures of when he worked in our major runway projects and for the fashion section of the Academy's fortnightly newsletter and during school fair catwalk projects-cho. He's a bloody gorgeous piece of ass no one minds having."
"Hn, of course. And the only one going to have his ass will be me…Wait, our projects?" Kanda pinned his gaze on the shorter girl.
Sachiko flashed him a peace sign. "I'm the president and one of the main models of the Modelling Club. Allen is my favourite pet project-cho!"
"So he does a bit of modelling, eh? Hn…Now this will be interesting to look at. So what sort of stuff does the moyashi do in the Otaku club? Last I remembered…It was a stupid club with a bunch of idiots running it." He remembered with a frown. He too, had been part of the student council in his student days, or rather, was forced to. Lavi had been president then, he was the vice-president. And the utterly ridiculous proposals the Otaku club came up with for festivals and the such was a source of regular headaches. They used to call him a cruel monster for flat out rejecting them all. Not that Kanda bothered.
"Well, Allen prohibits any merchandise of him, so they too have to settle with photo collections only. They do the yearly seasonal photoshoots and also school festival collections. So you might need to spend nearly about…hundred and fifty thousand yen-cho!"
Kanda did a double take. "What?! That's just thirty grand short of a car!" No matter HOW he calculated, there was no way one person could spend more than fifty thousand yen on some photo collections. This…This is extortion! "There is NO fucking way I will pay a goddamn hundred fifty grand for a moyashi's photos!" Kanda growled murderously, making sure to look extra intimidating.
"Who said you had to pay that much-cho?" Sachiko scoffed, befuddling Kanda. "I may have said you might need to spend nearly about that much-cho but I didn't say you have to. There are…liberties when you are friends with the president, and that's what I'm here for-cho," the girl giggled evilly after her explanation.
"…So how much?" Kanda grunted. He wasn't quite willing, but hey, some girls he previously dated were worse, like demanding for expensive jewelleries. Sachiko did a quick mental calculation and grinned.
"It's all free from my club…But it might be harder for you to negotiate with the Otaku club. Since your year…" Sachiko laughed again, "Well, you'll see. Come on, let's go and grab those treasure troves from the clubhouse. Oh, before that, you need these. The population of my club would recognize your face anywhere, since we're aspiring fashionistas." Sachiko dropped a pair of sunglasses into Kanda's breast pocket. Kanda wryly noted that they were the same pair he modelled for last summer. But then again, masking his identity was crucial. He wouldn't want Reever or Allen to be alerted to his presence. Reever might want to invite him for some cokes and fries; that man absolutely abhorred alcohol, while Allen might do him the unwanted favour of kicking him out.
"Hey ladies and gentlemen, I have a VIP with me today-cho!" Sachiko declared as she swung the door open. Kanda mentally groaned. Was he not supposed to keep his identity under wraps? Everyone in the spacious room now looked at him. The boys mostly smiled politely and went back to their designing and pinning up of fabrics on the available mannequins. Girls took a longer time to stare at him, some blushing at the seemingly mysterious and good-looking supposed teen hiding behind a pair of sunglasses. The Japanese hoped Sachiko would not bust his identity and sacrifice him to these hormonal teens.
"Go back to work, people. I have business!"
Sachiko then went further into another door; the office Kanda presumed, since each clubroom also had an office for the president of the club. There was a safe inside, protected by a series of locks and combinations. The grumpy supermodel couldn't help but stare attentively at the amount of effort Sachiko used to open the safe. After that, she still had to reach in and fiddle some more before the inmost latch unlocked with an audible click and swung open. She gleefully took out a stack of six books wrapped preciously in plastic. Even the cover itself had already caught Kanda's attention. It was of Allen, obviously, sleeping under the shade of a fully blooming apple tree with a book in his hand. Kanda resisted the urge to mentally scream, 'Cute!' because cute was simply a word Kanda Yu would not say.
"Why does this set of books need so many protections?" Kanda changed the subject lest his mind be irreversibly drawn to those books.
"Well…It's because Allen is so desirable-cho. I've been saving this set for that someone who might come along which suits my approval for him-cho. It is super valuable since it contains limited edition photos; one of the three copies I printed. So there have been multiple break-ins, but oh, I know how to deal with them-cho," Sachiko chuckled as a dark aura surrounded her, "But for me to be guard dog to these was tiring, therefore I've called up some of the best security experts and had them devise me this safe-cho. For starters, it has a fifteen number combination, which then leads on to a puzzle lock. Then I do a bit of dialling, which follows up by thumb scan. After that, it's an eye scan and another twelve number combination and of course, triple dial combination. After that, the outer door opens. The inner door requires another eye scan and a twelve number combination. Lastly, it needs a fail-safe password and lip-gloss identification for me to open it-cho!" Sachiko triumphantly exclaimed.
"Lip-gloss identification? What the hell is that?" Kanda asked, feeling that all this was a bit too outrageous, even after knowing freaks like Lavi and Tyki.
"The wonders of different combinations of chemicals and varieties of brands!" Sachiko only mentioned cryptically.
"But you have a fucking wide connection to get security experts to do this for you," the supermodel snorted, observing the now open safe.
"Sometimes, I make use of my daddy's quirky connections," the girl answered as she packed the books in a paper bag and relocked the safe.
"You mentioned this being one of the three copies. What happened to the other two?" Kanda mentioned without trying to sound too interested in knowing. Sachiko showed no signs of realising it.
"Those two? One was sold to a girl who has a complete crush on Allen. Allen doesn't notice her crush, and I think she'll be sorely disappointed to find out Allen is into guys-cho," she was rudely interrupted when Kanda jolted up from his seat. "Into guys?"
Sachiko laughed at the predictable reaction. "Yup-cho. How else would he get along so well with me, his beloved precious cousin-cho?" "You're a girl," Kanda deadpanned.
"Girl-guy, Kanda-pon. I used to think it was terrible being half of each, the names they teased me with…But living with Allen has made it much better-cho. He's a kind boy, and such a nice cousin," the girl divulged his bi-gender without any qualms. Kanda didn't comment on that part, which made her like the man even more. "So you both are cousins?"
"I was adopted by his uncle, who is his current guardian-cho. We've only been together for six years, but he's the best buddy I've ever got. Back to topic, yes, Allen Walker digs guys-cho. He didn't realize it at first-cho until I made him see that he saw girls as nothing more than girls. It was seriously hilarious the night he panicked about his sex preferences-cho! He's all polite and gentlemanly to them but he NEVER once had wet dreams or a more-than-platonic interest in any one of them. I only noticed that when I entered the bath naked once. He was all blushing and flailing when he saw me, and told me girls need to cover up before a guy, but I'm a guy too-cho!" Sachiko laughed uncontrollably at the reminiscence.
"But when I peeked at his lower area, covered by towel mind your perverted thoughts, he's as straight as a hula hoop. Regular guys would've gotten some 'simulation' seeing my chest, I assure you, but there was zero reaction with Allen-cho. Either he's a saint or he's gay-cho and I know he's not a full saint like everyone thinks he is. When I confronted him, haha, I wish I had a camera-cho. He blushed like virgin he was, freaked out like Miranda-sensei and then passed out on the couch. But thanks to my desensitization therapy, he got used to the reality and accepted it. So I say you have a better chance than most people around-cho since you're devilishly handsome."
Kanda smirked. "Hn, the moyashi isn't worth my time if all he likes is my face."
"Isn't that what everyone sees in you-cho? Allen might be attracted by your face, but he won't like someone just because he looks good. If your attitude is of an ass, kiss your chances goodbye-cho," Sachiko retorted and dropped the paper bag into his hands. "Now we have to go drop by the Otaku club. I've equipped myself with negotiating items." Kanda didn't bother asking what sort of negotiating items, in his mind Sachiko was already considered a powerful ally which was just what he needed to deal with possible pests from the school.
"Johnny, how is that Gundam model coming up?"
"A little bit of touch up will finish it! What about our Suzumiya Haruhi collection?"
"All polished to perfection! Gods, we better make it for the Winter Figurine Con."
Suddenly, there was a knock and a cheery voice announced, "Guys, I am here for level five negotiation-cho!" Sachiko, and another guy walked in. Even though his sunglasses were on, everyone realized with a gasp who he was. They backed away immediately, hiding behind half-made props, chairs and tables.
"Chomesuke, you betrayer! You brought the monster-with-no-name in!" Jean yelled from his makeshift barricade. Kanda raised an eyebrow and stared at the table on the other side of the room. There was a large photo of him, with various speech bubbles pasted on the frame exclaiming profanities about how he was the devil incarnate come to torture otakus who would eat the babies of their moe idol figurines and burn down all their beloved Gundam models and string them up by a makeshift rope of trading cards stapled together. And of course, a plain plastic plaque beneath with words 'Monster-With-No-Name'. Kanda had no idea his existence threatened the Otaku club so much they had to immortalize him as a villain out to destroy the Otaku Club.
"Listen, you dolts. As much as I do not want to be here, I don't eat plastic. I have more things to do than burn Gundam models and I don't fucking touch trading cards. I'm just here for some stuff and I'm gone," Kanda declared.
"Just now you said level five, Chomesuke. The only things around here which are level five are either the special edition H-games or the White Clown portfolio," Johnny started cautiously. The girl grinned that slightly insane and dangerous grin again.
"Yes, White Clown portfolio. My generous customer here wants the whole batch, special edition if you please-cho. Don't say you don't have it, I know you otakus keep a few special edition copies around. I just want one-cho. And hopefully, at a discount."
"For the arch-enemy of our club? Never! Especially when it's about the White Clown portfolio! I'd rather give up my H-games for free than discount the portolio to him!" The bespectacled boy declared, while still hiding.
"Johnny, please, he's not an enemy, I promise-cho. And if you don't give me that White Clown portfolio discounted, I'll be pulling back the Otaku club privileges on the Modelling Club prints-cho," Sachiko threatened. Jean gasped. "You can't, Chomesuke! That's blackmail!"
"I can because I'm Allen's cousin and you owe me SEVERAL favours-cho. Now hand the book over and name a price and no one loses anything," Sachiko went all business-like. Yes, Kanda suddenly felt relief that Sachiko was on his side. "…For the good of the Otaku Club, then. Sixty thousand," Johnny offered. "Sixty thousand? I'm starting to like the sound of twenty thousand very much," Sachiko drove it drastically lower.
"That's too much for a guy like him! Fifty five!"
"No, not for this guy-cho! Twenty two!"
"Yes, he's the monster who threatens this club! Fifty three!"
"I told you he's no monster-cho! Twenty five!"
"Then why did our predecessors name him so? Fifty!"
"Because they weren't as good club presidents as you were then, obviously. Thirty-cho!"
"Oh…Is that so? Forty."
"Yes and deal!" Sachiko snapped the deal shut before Johnny realized he had given a half price discount. Kanda rolled his eyes mentally. "Your pay," he said and smoothly drew out four ten thousand yen bills. Johnny begrudgingly pulled out a beautifully wrapped large book of sorts and thrust it into Kanda's hands.
"Thank you, Johnny-cho! I'll be sure to pass a free limited edition copy of pre-grad omake collection to your club," Sachiko winked and led Kanda out. "Now can we go find moyashi?"
Sachiko nodded happily, not noticing a girl downstairs, outside the building, fuming and pacing with a dark atmosphere around her who was actually a very deluded stalker…
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