AHHHHH I THOUGHT I'D NEVER UPDATE!

Just…. Higurashi…. And my other fic…. And NCIS… And Vocaloid…

(Note: This next chapter is not for little children. May taint young minds. So, uh… YE BE WARNED! Cos I ain't changing the rating, fo sure. DX)

"What the FUCK are you DOING?"

F raised an eyebrow at his younger self. "What am I doing? WHAT AM I DOING? This…" He motioned to Vanessa. "…woman," he said, as though forcing himself not to say something worse, "…is responsible for ruining the ENTIRE world, and destroying life as everyone knows it today."

"That sounds harsh… You sure about that?" asked Vanessa.

"Yes, I am 'sureof that'!"

Ferb narrowed his eyes. "Put it away."

"Never."

"Vanessa, get out of here."

"Wh-"

At that moment, Ferb stepped between the gun and Vanessa, holding it in place over his own heart. "Put. It. Away."

F glared at him. "Move."

"I won't."

F pressed the gun further into his own chest. "You think I care enough about my own life not to pull this trigger? Trust me, I won't hesitate."

"Then why are you?"

"I will send a bullet through you and into her."

"It won't work."

"How do you know?"

"How I know this isn't a twisted way of committing suicide?"

F had had enough. "This gun doesn't exist yet. It was designed to penetrate bullet-proof vests, it can go through two people. You of all people should know that I don't bluff. Dumb. Ass."

At this point, Phineas started to wake up. Once he became full aware of his surroundings, he seemed shocked and confused at the sight of one version of his older brother pointing a gun at the other. Ferb saw the opportunity, and seized it.

"Go ahead," he said coolly, daring the other with the tone of his voice. "Kill me in front of Phineas. Scar him for life. If you think you can"

That clearly worked. F almost instantly lowered his gun, yet did so very angrily. Ferb ran to his terrified brother, dragging Vanessa to keep her within a safe distance.

F growled. "You don't know what you're doing. Just by keeping her safe…. You're putting the entire world in jeopardy."

Ferb turned around and made a face as if to say 'Do I look like I particularly care?'

"You obviously don't get it," F groaned. "She's the one responsible for almost killing Phineas, you moron."

Ferb gasped, looking up at Vanessa with a look on his face like his own mother had risen from the grave and stabbed him.

Vanessa shook her head, waving hands franticly and looking from the younger to the older Ferb repeatedly. "No, no! You've got it all wrong, I would never… It's a mistake!"

"Right," said F, voice dripping with bitter sarcasm. "Then who else went back in time disguised as your father, telling him exactly what to do to take over the world, just so you could take his empire from him?"

"Hell, not me!" Vanessa defended, crossing her arms. "I don't do the evil thing. I'm a cop. Besides, what's with all the detail? I mean, how did you know-"

"About the time travel?" F narrowed his eyes. "You told me. You wanted to see how easy it would be to break me." he sighed. "As it turns out, I was already beyond repair. There's no use in smashing a shattered glass."

"I wouldn't do that!" cried Vanessa. "NEVER!"

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because I have a brother your age," she answered.

F frowned. "That's a lie. You're an only child."

Vanessa shook her head, wrapping her arms around the present-day Ferb. "It's no lie. You are. And even if, hypothetically, I did go evil, I would never do anything to hurt you. You have to believe me."

After a long silence, F sighed. "I'm leaving."

Phineas started to stop him. "Ferb-"

F stopped, then turned around, glaring at Vanessa. "I will never believe you." He left.

Ferb got up.

"Where are you going?" asked Vanessa.

Ferb half-smiled. "To perform acts of self-mutilation." With that, he walked out.

"So you're the Phineas I've been hearing about?" Vanessa asked to break the ice.

Phineas nodded. Then he stopped, puzzled. "Who are you again?"

Vanessa chuckled. "I'm Vanessa. A friend of your brother's."

"Apparently not in 10 years…"

"Yeah." The brunette sighed, then smiled. "Your name's come up in conversation a lot."

"He talks about me?"

"More like rambles. On. And on. And ON." She sighed. "I can barely get him to open his mouth, and when he does, at least HALF of what the kid says involves you some way or another."

Phineas was a little surprised. "Really?"

Another pause.

"Why does he think you're, like, the daughter of the devil or something?" Phineas asked.

Vanessa sighed. "I don't know. I promise you, kid. I know we just met and everything, but-"

"I know you're not evil," Phineas agreed. "I can tell." He looked at the ceiling in thought. "So… What DID happen?"

0-0-0

Up on the roof, Ferb stood unnoticed be his older self.

"Why are you smoking?" he demanded.

F blinked, only just aware of the younger male. He sighed.

"It's stupid," said Ferb coolly.

"I remember saying that, too. Before everything went to hell." F looked out to the city. "Come to think of it, I remember saying that about a lot of things once. Killing was stupid. Revenge was once meaningless, was it not? Now it's the only reason I have not to just give up and end it all."

Ferb rolled his eyes. "Whatever. And stop whining. That's the stupidest of all."

"Whining?" asked F. "Whining? Live for a day in my hell, then you can accuse me of whining!"

Ferb was silent. F continued.

"You're a foolish brat."

"And you're a bitter old man."

F sighed, lightening up. "We're a sad pair, aren't we?"

"And that's why we have Mr. Sunshine as a stepbrother."

F smirked turning to his former reflection. "And I'm not old. I'm only 30."

"Right, sorry. Not old. Ancient."

They both laughed.

"You know, what I should do… is just pick you up and throw you as far as I can off the edge of this roof."

"Creative suicide."

0-0-0

"He… went missing a few days before we came here," Isabella started softly. His older self was silent. "His body was never found, so… maybe…"

I'm… Sorry.

"Jeez, are ya gonna just mope on the couch all day, or what?" asked Buford sighing.

No response.

"You ain't sick. There's nothing wrong with you, but you're still actin' like a freakin' emo!" He groaned. "I'm the one with problems here! I don't even know if I'm gonna live past 30!"

No response.

"Okay! Time to GET THE HELL UP." He grabbed Baljeet's wrist…

…only to get bitch-slapped.

"Don't. Touch. Me."

Buford could now easily see tears streaking down his friend's face.

"…"

0-0-0

Perry sat, motionless, on a hospital bench. He was told to stay put, and that was what he intended to do. He hadn't made a good pet for nothing.

Every now and then, a nurse would come and ask him if he needed anything, but he didn't answer them. He couldn't, not verbally anyway, having been without the ability to speak since early childhood, and he didn't acknowledge them. That had creeped most of them out.

It wasn't until a familiar voice, a voice that he hadn't heard in years echoed into his ears, that he turned to face the speaker.

"Perry… the platypus?"

OOOOOOOH! XD Three guesses.

ADVENTURE TIME WITH SEBASTIAN AND STAN

Part Three

"Yuppp…" Sebastian nodded. He looked around. "Stan?"

He grew mildly scared upon finding himself alone, in a remote part of the hospital.

"Uhhh… Hello?" Sebastian called. "Hello? Hey!"

He noticed a small, blond girl in a hospital gown a few feet away.

"Do you know where we are?"

The girl started walking away.

"Hey! Don't just leave! Come back!" He followed her.

Eventually it got to a point at which Sebastian managed to catch up. "Do you know where the exit is?"

The girl turned around. She was covered in blood with a smile on her face, a scalpel stuck in one eye. "Here." She disappeared.

Sebastian saw that as a perfect time…

…to run like his ass was on fire.

He ran straight into Stan. "Hey, where were you?" asked Stan.

Sebastian clung to his brother. "Scaryyyy..!"

(FOR MORE ON THEIR EPIC SAGA, STAY TUNED)