Well...I thought of this randomly today and decided to throw it in this story because...I COULD! Anyway, you have to have watched Charlie the Unicorn to understand this at all. Eheh...ENJOY! And beware, Sakura has a potty mouth in this one.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Charlie the unicorn.

Sakura was having a pleasant enough dream, something involving a certain long-haired Uchiha when two voices drifted through her sub-conscious mind. They sounded vaguely like...Naruto's and some other person. She felt she should know that voice, could it be? LEE? This realization shocked her awake because Rock Lee had absolutely no business in her bedroom. Naruto was allowed, but not that freaking gay in green spandex. Sure enough, the clashing green and orange of the two ninja's clothes met her eyes and she groaned with frustration and embarrassment. Last night she had fallen asleep dressed in an oversized T-shirt she stole from Naruto.

"Heyy~! Sakuraa~! Hey Sakura wake up!" Naruto crowed it right in her face and she recoiled from his bad breath. Someone had NOT brushed their teeth this morning.

"Yeah Sakura, you silly sleepy breasts wake up~!" Sakura stared at Lee. Clearly he wasn't looking her in the eye like the blond was. She felt disgusted and yet a tad bit flattered that he complimented her so easily. If that could be taken as a compliment; maybe it was just a teenage guy being perverted.

"What the hell are you two doing here, waking me up so early? God, the one day Tsunade gives me a break and I have to wake up to you idiots. What could be so fucking important that you brought LEE into my room?" Her last statement was directed at Naruto, but he just kept blissfully staring at her green eyes. Lee was still looking...elsewhere and making Sakura very uncomfortable so she pulled her sheets to cover herself.

"Seriously, is Sasuke back or something?" Now that she felt more secure, Sakura was able to stare defiantly into Naruto's blue eyes. Somehow those orbs reminded of a similar red pair that had loomed tauntingly over her in her dream...

"No Sakura. We found a SUPER SECRET AWESOME AMAZING SUCK-YOUR-BRAINS-OUT MAP!!! To candy mountain! Candy mountain Sakura~!" Sakura opened her mouth dumbly, trying to process the new idiocy that Naruto had concocted. Then she closed it and opened it again, unsure of how to respond to such a stupid topic and thinking of those sexy red eyes even now.

"Yeah Sakura~! We're going to candy mountain! Come with us, Sakura~!"

"Yeah Sakura~! It'll be an SUPER SECRET AWESOME AMAZING SUCK-YOU-BRAINS-OUT ADVENTURE~! We're going on an adventure, Sakura~!" Their smoothness in saying that surprised Sakura but she hid it well. This was probably just another prank two love-sick boys were trying to pull on her. They had most likely rehearsed it for hours so the least she could do was play the part of a disgruntled girl even when she felt like giggling.

"Hm yeah. Candy mountain? I don't think so. You two had better leave and let me go back to sleep." Sakura threatened them, trying not to let her amusement leak into her voice. But if one knew her well enough, they would be able to see the laughter in her eyes.

"Noooo~! Sakura! You have to come with us to the SUPER SECRET AWESOME AMAZING SUCK-YOU-BRAINS-OUT CANDY MOUNTAIN~!" Naruto had leapt on her bed and was bouncing enthusiastically up and down while trying to convince her. Each jostle brought back her earlier irritation and she almost snapped at him in anger when Lee interrupted.

"Yeah Sakura! Candy mountain! It's a land of sweets and joy. And joyness." Sakura glared at him and then practically yelled at Naruto.

"Stop fucking bouncing on my bed!" The blond ninja ignored her and happily continued with his annoying behavior while yelling back at her.

"Candy mountain Sakura!"

"Yeah candy mountain~!" Even their voices had started to sound the same. She was really pissed now but knew from past experiences that they wouldn't leave until she had done what they wanted. Or knocked them out. Whichever came first.

"Fine. I'll come with you to your fucking candy mound or whatever the hell it is but afterwards you have to leave me ALONE." They didn't respond but thankfully Naruto stopped bouncing on her bed and stood waiting expectantly with Lee by the door. Sakura stood up and was once again reminded of her garment predicament. Ignoring their stares, she went into her closet which was luckily big enough that she could change in there albeit with some difficulty. She tried to take as long as she could, discarding various outfits before finally choosing one, donning it and stepping out. But they were still there, waiting for her. One sigh later and they were strolling through the streets of Konohagakure together, heading Kami knows where.

Luckily none of Sakura's friends were outside so she was saved the embarrassment of being found in the company of two doofuses. At least until they got to the gate, there the ninjas on watch eyed them suspiciously and Sakura could've sworn one of them looked at her pityingly. But the trio passed with no trouble and walked out into the forest, leaving the well-worn path behind. After walking for about 30 seconds, Naruto and Lee began to sing. Badly. Like take Taylor Swift; but they were wors-no. No one could be worse than Taylor Swift, but they were pretty damn close to her level of singing skill. Sakura groaned and tried to endure it but after one minute she burst.

"Would you two stop fucking singing? You're making my ears bleed!" They stopped thankfully but only a second elapsed before Naruto's voice piped into the silence.

"Our first stop is over there Sakura." Sakura forget her anger, looking forward eagerly to see where they had arrived. There was a large rock and on top of it stood. Oh Kami she thought in dismay. It was Orochimaru. The extremely creepy guy who had seduced Sasuke and lured him away from Konohagakure and was thus the point of all her anger. Normally she would've ran forward to rip his guts clean out but she was too shocked to do anything but mutter.

"What the hell is Orochimaru doing here?" Her question hung in the air, but no answer came forth.

"It's a Leopluradon Sakura~!" She looked at Naruto in confusion, another question ready to spill but Lee was too adept at interrupting her.

"A magical Leopluradon~!" Sakura's head twisted to look at Lee and then swiveled around again when Naruto spoke.

"It's gonna guide our way to candy mountain~!" After that she waited a bit just to make sure they weren't going to say anything else and then said,

"Okay this prank had gone far enough. There is no such thing as a candy mountain!" Her glare at them was half-expectant but they carried right on with their charade.

"Shun the nonbeliever~!" That was Naruto, he seemed to be the instigator.

"Shuuuu~n"

"Shuuuu~~~~uunn" By now Sakura was resigned. There was no stopping the fools so she might as well play along. But the next time Naruto lied to her she was going to punch him. And then run off with the Uchiha of her dreams...

"Whatever." Her voice was flint hard and she was actually proud of how much menace she was able to put into those three syllables. Then the Orochimaru-Leopluradon thing made a strange noise. It was indescribably horrible. Something between a dolphin and a some bad sound effects for plants in a video game. She stared at it, appalled but apparently it had said something, if what Naruto said next meant anything.

"It has spoken!" What? Sakura thought. It hadn't said anything, it had just made an incredibly strange noise.

"It has told us the waaaa~y!" Okay her anger was coming back but it focused in a new direction now. Trying to be funnier than the idiots.

"Oh so you guys can understand Parseltongue now?" They ignored her and kept walking. She pouted for a second and then caught up, afraid of what they might do if she left now. After walking for what seemed like forever in the forest, they came to a wooden bridge. Hanging over a deep chasm. A VERY deep chasm. Sakura gulped in fear even though she had never been afraid of heights before. But of course the idiots filed onto it, Naruto in the lead with Sakura trailing behind Lee. The enjoyable silence that had lasted since they 'heard' the Leopluradon was killed by Naruto.

"It's just over this bridge Sakura~!"

"This magical bridge of hope and wonder~!" Lee seemed to like the adjective 'magical'. Which made her wonder just how mature he really was. Her feet slid across another wooden slate and she held her breath until she was certain it would hold her weight. Sakura didn't like this bridge at all.

"Does anyone else wanna like, you know, turn back now and find a different way across this? Or better yet let's just go back to Konohagakure." Her last ditch attempt at not being forced across this bridge was ignored so she sighed and slid her foot again, testing the next slate before putting her full weight on it.

"Sakura~!....Sakura~~!...Sa~ku~ra~!...Sa-" Sakura cut the block head off, trying to save herself from developing a headache.

"What do you fucking want Naruto? I'm right here and I can hear you perfectly well." Her eyes were still on the bridge, watching her feet so she wouldn't stumble or trip over something she hadn't seen.

"We're on a bridge Sakura." Seriously, sometimes she had to wonder if Naruto was mentally retarded. His reply had almost made her look up to glare at him but it was time to move her feet onto the next slate which took most of her concentration. 24 slates later she arrived on the other side and collapsed on the grass, kissing it happily. The silence that had been present previously came back and she managed to remain calm until...

"We're here~!" Lee's voice cut through her continued fantasies of her Uchiha guy and she halted in astonishment when she glanced up. There was a huge mound of candy in front of them and the first words that came to her mind spilled out.

"What? There's really a candy mountain? Just how far is this prank gonna go Naruto?" He ignored her and instead ran up to the mountain and jumped all over it while singing in his terrible voice.

"Candy mountain~! Candy mountain! You fill me with sweet, sugary goodness~!" Sakura was sorely tempted to cover her ears but now that they had arrived they could leave, right? When she opened her mouth to ask, Lee cut her off yet again.

"Go inside the candy mountain cave Sakura!"

"Yeah Sakura, go inside the SUPER SECRET AWESOME AMAZING SUCK-YOU-BRAINS-OUT CAVE! Magical wonders that are to behold when you enter~." Now it was apparently Naruto's turn to say magical. And what was with the "super secret awesome amazing suck-you-brains-out" crap anyway? Well, she knew one thing. She was not going to go in that cave if they wanted her to.

"Um. No thanks I think I'll stay out here."

"But you have to enter the candy mountain candy cave Sakura!" Lee protested as if he actually believed she had to. But she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to and they would not be able to force her into that creepy cave. Then, as she was about to turn around and leave, some music randomly started playing and SASUKE appeared from nowhere. SASUKE! Sakura nearly died of a heart attack there, he was wearing red spandex that matched Lee's in every aspect besides color. And then, the worst thing happened. Sasuke began to sing in a monotone emo voice that was WORSE than Taylor Swift. His song went something like this...

"Oh when you're down and looking for some cheering up

Then just head right up to the candy mountain cave

When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheery land

Such a happy and joy filled and perky merry land

They've got lollipops and gummidrops and candy things

Oh so many things that will brighten up your day

It's impossible to wear a frown in candy town

It's the mecca of love and candy canes

They've got jellybeans and coconuts with little hats

Candy rats, chocolate bats, it's a wonderland of sweets

Ride the candy train to town and hear the candy band

Candy bells, it's a treat, as they march across the land

Cherry ribbons stream across the sky and to the ground

Turn around, it astounds, it's a dancing candy treat

In the candy cave imagination runs so free

So now Sakura please will you go into the cave"

Those were the strangest 40 seconds of Sakura's life. Halfway through the song lights had randomly turned on and Naruto and Lee were suddenly floating. She had no idea how they pulled that stunt off and then, right at the end before she had the say something to him, Sasuke freaking exploded! Her eyes were wide with surprise and when Naruto gave her a slight nudge she willingly walked forward into the candy mountain cave.

"Alright I'll go into the fucking cave if that's what'll get this shit to end." As soon as she was in the dark cave, Naruto and Lee made a strange noise, a cross between a nah and yah. So...Nyah?

"Goodbye Sakura~!" As always Naruto was the first to speak...wait...what did he mean-

"Yeah, goodbye Sakura~!" She whirled around and watched them disappear behind a sliding door.

"What the hell do you mean, goodbye? Let me out Naruto! I swear if you leave me here-e!!" She frowned into the darkness, contemplating what to do. Then there were footsteps behind her; light ones that she immediately associated with, no it couldn't be, could it? It took a few tries to get her voice to work but it finally came out in a whisper.

"Is that you, Itachi?" The answer came unexpectedly, in the form of a kiss upon her lips. Sakura swooned and when she woke up later she was back in her bed, naked and the sheets around her were covered with...well...

"GOD DAMN IT!! HE TOOK MY VIRGINITY WHEN I WAS UNCONSCIOUS???"

Whelpers that's my random fic. Yes I know it wasn't exactly like charlie the unicorn, but I kept most of the lines the same, at least for Naruto and Lee. Eheheh...it was funny, yes? Tell me so in REVIEWS! Yeah that was less subtle than last chapter...AND YES I WILL BE CONTINUING THAT. I just had to write this first...and sorry for insulting Taylor Swift. I know some people like her and that's fine, it's your opinion, but really? Have you ever heard her live? She SUCKS!...in my opinion...