Changing Yesterday

By: A Villainess Foul


Title: Changing Yesterday

Author: Villainess Foul

Rating for this chapter: T (Super emo chapter)

Summary: AU!DARKSPER! The Cullens left, leaving a broken Bella behind, What happens when she suddenly gets thrust back in time and comes face to face with the Major and a horde of newborns? How will a human like her survive getting home while in the midst of a vampire war?

Pairings: Jasper/Maria (only for a lil bit), Jasper/Bella (Main), Peter/Charlotte, Rosalie/Emmett, Carlisle/Esme, Edward and Alice are my wild cards. They may or may not be together.

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight, or it's franchises. Stephenie Meyer does. I also do not own "Airplanes." Which is sung by Hayley Williams and B.O.B.


(Forks Washington, 2010)

(Bella's PoV)

My world had suddenly crumbled around me and I was nothing more than a helpless shell. The last conscious thing I remember clearly was when I was brought back home from the woods, sobbing feebly like the weak little girl I was, Charlie informing me on the Cullen's and how they moved to L.A.

L fucking A. Yeah. Right.

Then my desperate attempt on finding anything they had given me, left behind...something. But Edward was so very thorough and went through great lengths to remove their very existence from my life . Pictures, gifts, letters, even that stupid note Alice passed to me in the hallway once. Gone. I had cried that night. Cried until I was hysteric.

After that everything was a blur. Feeling nothing but the numbness that soaked through to my very bone. I was trapped in my own personal hell inside my own mind as I tried going through the motions of every day life. It was so hard.

Living when all I wanted to do was die.

Minutes turned to hours, hours turned to days, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months.

Weather or not I liked it "Time Passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me." (New moon, pg. 93)

I don't know how long I was really gone, but I resurfaced finally feeling like I can face the day without feeling so numb inside. I was prepared to live again...even if it was a doomed and unhappy life I was willing to continue. Because as much as I loved (and yes I mean loved because thinking about it in present tense rips a little piece of my already tattered heart.) Edward, I wasn't good enough for him. He knew it and unfortunately came to his senses.

But he didn't have to act the way he did. He didn't have to tell me about his so – called distractionsand then leave me broken and crying in the woods. He could have at least took me the fuck home first. He didn't have to go through my room and steal my things. As if stealing away any reminder of them could possibly erase my memories.

I suppose I'm at the stage of it all where I'm just angry. Time didn't heal wounds, that was a load of bullshit. Time just gave me the chance to come to terms with it, it would never heal this festering hole in my heart that the Cullen family left behind. No, only they could do that.

"Bella?" I looked up at Charlie who was now looking at me with heavy concern.

I sighed, letting my spoon drop into my cereal. It wasn't like I was actually eating it anyway.

"Yeah dad?"

"Didn't you hear anything I said?"

"No."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry dad it's just – nothing really, I'm just thinking."

He gave me a look across the kitchen table, one that clearly stated he didn't believe a word I said. I merely shrugged my shoulders in response to his stare because honestly I really was just thinking.

"Bella...I've been thinking lately..." he began taking a deep breath as if to steel himself, which was a bad sign. That usually meant he was going to say something he knew I wasn't going to like and he expected me to throw a fit. Not that I ever actually throw fits...but still. " Maybe you should go home."

Huh?

I blinked in confusion as my brows furrowed, "But I am home."

"I don't mean here. I mean to Jacksonville...with your mom."

"Did...did I do something wrong?" I asked timidly, utterly confused on why Charlie even suggested something like that. I thought he loved having me here.

"No!" he exclaimed hurriedly "no...it's not that you have done anything it's just that...you've been doing nothing."

"You want me to get in trouble?"

"No! Jesus Bells! It's just ever since that, that boy left you, you've been walking around like a zombie! Like the life was sucked right out of you! It's – it's scaring me Bells...you're so unhappy here."

"Dad..."

Charlie rubbed his eyes as he attempted to gather his thoughts. I just watched him unsure what to say.

"It just...it hurts to watch you try so hard. I don't want to have to see you try Bella...I want to see you be. And well...maybe it will be better to start over in Jacksonville."

I was speechless, because Charlie in a way was right. I have been trying to move on and go through the motions and he saw right through me. He was more observant than what I gave him credit for. But a new start? I don't think I could handle doing it again...

"No." I whispered, "I don't want to go."

"Bells..."

"I can't."

"Bella, you can't keep holding out for them to come back."

"I'm not!" I shouted looking at his startled expression with narrowed eyes, he knew talking about them was off limits. "It's just that...it's my senior year and I'm half way through the semester already! I don't want to deal with being a new kid on the block when I'm so close to graduating! In a few months I'll be heading off to college! I'll make a new start then!"

"Okay."

And just like that our conversation was dropped, he returned to his coffee and my heated glare was turned toward my unsuspecting cereal bowl.

Ugh, the very thought of food was making my stomach churn.

"I'm heading out, If I don't leave now I'll be late for school."

Charlie merely nodded in my direction as I grabbed my backpack from beside my chair and slung it over my shoulder.

In my haste to get away from Charlie and that whole uncomfortable conversation all together I was actually one of the first ones to arrive at school and I nearly groaned.

School wasn't so bad. Mostly because I just went through the motions, wasn't like I had anyone to talk to anymore, anyway. I chased any friends I may have had away when I was zombie Bella. When the final bell finally rang I was more than happy to get away and escape the boring halls of Forks High school and run to the safety of my truck. Climbing in I tossed my backpack into the passenger seat and leaned back dropping my head onto the head rest as I let my emotions wash over me.

I was beginning to feel again...and it was...uncomfortable to say the least.

Every time that Edward crossed my thoughts I would feel angry.

Every time that Alice crossed my thoughts I would feel betrayed.

Every time that Emmett crossed my thoughts I would feel disappointed.

Every time that Rosalie crossed my thoughts I would feel rejected.

Every time that Carlisle crossed my thoughts I would feel hopeless.

Every time that Esme crossed my thoughts I would feel longing.

And then my thoughts would drift to Jasper and I would feel so many things. Things that frightened and confused me, things that I just didn't understand. I was angry at him for being the catalyst for their sudden departure in my life, I was achingly sad because he always seemed to be lonely, I have been feeling guilty for even thinking about feeling angry at him in the first place, I have had this strange fondness for him that I could not decipher, and I certainly feel the need to suffer just because I know he must be. My birthday really wasn't his fault and I hope that where ever he is he realizes it.

Groaning I pick my head back up and placed the keys in the ignition, the loud roar of my truck comforted me and brought me back to reality.

I needed to stop thinking about them. If I didn't stop Zombie Bella will probably make another appearance...and I couldn't do that to Charlie...not again.

I turned my radio on in an attempt to drown my thoughts in mindless music. It's been so long since I've listened to anything...music always seemed to have a way of reminding me of him. But I so badly needed the distraction and I was more than willing to try and take the chance.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars...

I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now...

I pulled over to the side of the road as tears blurred my vision, quickly turning off the radio as quickly as I turned it on. Music was such a bad idea...all it did was consume me in memories and feelings I didn't want to deal with right now. I cried punching the steering wheel as hard as I could, the resounding honking noise, startling me slightly.

I hate them.

I love them.

They ruined me.

"that is it." I growled out through my tears, wiping them savagely away as I pulled back out onto the street, but instead of going home I followed a hauntingly familiar path ending up in a place I was in no way ready to face, but I was going to face it anyway. I'm not weak. I'm strong and I'm going to prove it to myself.

I parked in their driveway, cutting the engine the truck immediately fell silent as I stared up at their house. Nothing about it has changed, in fact if the driveway wasn't so eerily empty I may have believed that they never left.

Climbing out of my truck I made my way toward the door, the pain that was coursing through my body turning into burning anger with each step I took until I was merely inches away from their front door.

"How could you..." I whispered, my hands balling into fists at my side as tears streamed down my face. "HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME HERE?" I raised my balled fist and slammed it against the door as I cried. "HOW CAN COULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME LIKE YOU DID? HOW COULD YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME THEN LEAVE ME IN THE WOODS?" I was hysteric now as I beat against the door with all the strength I could muster, taking out the pain and anger I was feeling with each raining blow. "WHY DID YOU LET ME FALL SO HARD FOR YOU WHEN YOUR HEART WASN'T IN IT? WHY DID YOU JUST STRING ME ALONG LIKE THAT!" I started kicking, my voice going hoarse from the force of my screams "WHY DID YOU DANGLE A LOVING FAMILY IN MY FACE AND THEN YANK IT FROM ME?"

I screamed as loud as I could "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" hitting the door with everything I had left in that one blow, I was startled when it seem to just pop open and I nearly tripped off the porch as I jumped back.

What the hell?

Timidly I made my way inside the house, unsure what I was going to find... a part of me wanted to see if they had stayed behind, the other more dominant part hoped they didn't because I was no where near ready to see them again. Looking around I almost choked, they left it almost exactly the way it was the last time I was here...the furniture was still here along with most of the appliances...

As I made my way slowly up the stairs I noticed that the graduation gowns that hung on the wall were gone and as I rounded the corner and made my way to a room I didn't think I'd ever be in again I noticed that a few of the older paintings were gone as well.

They only took the things that meant something to them leaving the rest of their material possessions behind. I laughed simply because I didn't want to cry again as I realized that I wasn't something they wanted to keep. I didn't mean anything to them...I was like the furniture. Easily replaceable.

Just as timidly as I first entered the house I grasped the familiar door knob in my hand turning it slowly as I took a deep breath to prepare myself for the emotional tsunami I was sure that would wash over me and drown me.

Gently I pushed the door open and my eyes immediately began to water. He took everything with him. Everything but me and the stupid bed. Walking in I sat down on his barely used bed and looked around at the unbearably bare room. My tattered heart throbbed as more pieces were torn away...even his fucking stereo was more important than I was.

Laying back I sighed, what was I doing? Why did I even bother to come here? I chuckled darkly because the only reasons on why that I could come up with was because I must have been a closet masochist. I rolled over and was startled to see a neatly folded piece of paper laying next to me with my name scrawled across it in elegant handwriting.

What was left of my heart jumped up to my throat as I reached out for it with shaking fingers. Did they intend for me to be here? As I grabbed it and pulled it closer I realized with wide eyes that the handwriting belonged to Alice.

Carefully I sat up unfolding the letter in the process and smoothing it gently in my lap as I began to read;

Bella,

I know that this is going to be hard for you and I understand if you never forgive us for just leaving you the way we did. But please understand that we all still love you very much and I will always consider you a dear sister and my best friend for all of eternity.

This is hard for me to write and I know that this will be even harder for you to read but dear sister as much as we all wanted to take you with us we couldn't. It is your destiny to stay in Forks for the time being. I can't reveal too much but please just know that it was for the best. You'll find your true mate soon and we'll all be reunited as a family once again.

And Yes Bella I did just write true mate, Edward loved you don't ever doubt that...but he could never love you the way you deserved to be loved. It was part of the reason why we left...simply because it was time. He apologizes for the way he left you...I don't know if you'll accept it or not but he really is sorry.

Oh Bella! This is just so hard to write! I'm sure that If I could cry I would be smearing this letter with all of my UN shed tears. I wish that I could just explain everything to you but I can't. One of the many burdens of being able to tell the future. I have to do all I can sometimes to make sure it comes true, and that included keeping secrets and leaving you. Which I will say was the hardest thing that this family had to do.

Bella we all love you, and please when you meet him again or for his case the first time he ever meets you...love him. Because when you meet him he's going to need all the love you can give. He's my best friend and I hope you take care of him...and don't worry... when the time comes I'll take care of him until you return to him. Not that you will ever really understand what that means.

I love you Bella...my beautiful and loving sister.

Love always,

Alice.

I clutched the letter tightly to my chest, curling into a ball on top of the bed as I did so and cried.

I cried until my world faded to black.


A/N: This chapter was insanely intense and hard to write, mostly because I tried so damn hard to channel the kind of grief she felt when they left her. This also kind of reminds me why I dislike Edward so damn much. Seriously who just drags a girl out in to the middle of the woods then LEAVE her there? He couldn't have at the very least drop her off at her house first? I mean fuck.

Somethings I'd like to mention...

In response to AIXA00's review – Rape... it's probably going to happen. But if it makes you feel a little bit better it WON'T be Bella and the chances of it actually being detailed will be slim because rape is my worst fucking nightmare. The rape will mostly be between -and I really hate giving things away but..- Jasper and Maria and honestly...he kind of rolls with it so it probably won't even count as rape. I'll warn you if I change my mind but that is how it stands as of now.

Anyway R+R :3