okay, the prologue was supposed to be longer and was supposed to be called chapter 1 lol but i got caught up with school and couldn't put in all the info i wanted, sorry, it's not as good as i wanted it to be but i hope you enjoy it

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"Day after day
Fickle visions messing with your head
Fickle, vicious
Sleeping in your bed
Messing with your head
Fickle visions
Fickle, vicious"

Sleep- Poets of the Fall

"You're just a dark puppet, passionless"

He turned the hot water on.

"Inside you have no passion, nor desire"

He raised the heat; he knew it was too hot for normal people.

"You feed yourself with shadow and the only pleasure you feel comes from the death of people"

But he was a Zoldyck, he could probably shower with lava and it won't matter to him.

He was Killua Zoldyck, the heir to the family's name and business; there was nothing he couldn't handle.

"You're just a dark puppet………. No passion nor desire……..you feed yourself with shadow……..your only pleasure comes from the death of people"

There was a time when he would have gritted his teeth and grabbed a big chunk of the wall in front of him and crushed it to dust if he was told that, but that was a long time ago, he had come to terms with the fate his name brought him and accepted it as his destiny. There was no changing that.

He came out of the shower, wrapped a towel around his waist and wiped the condensed water off the mirror and took a good look at himself, he looked the same as he was 6 years ago, a bit more bored and tired but still the same.

DAMN IT!

Why did he keep going back to that time? He's done other things with his life after that, how come he never thought about them?

Maybe because that was the only time he actually felt free to do whatever he wants and make his own choices, to decide the track of his life and the people involved in it.

He would've never voiced his thoughts but he always had a tiny flicker of hope deep inside of him that those people would come for him. It has been six years and they never showed up, he liked to believe that they did come but got eaten by Mike. He liked that thought because the other one meant that they never came, that they never cared and that he was stupid enough to trust people he only knew for a few weeks. If they didn't come, then he was deceived, because they all gave him the impression that they would sacrifice all for a friend.

If they even considered me to be a friend. Maybe they were just using me.

That was why he never asked Zebro if they came, he wasn't sure that he wanted to know the answer, there were so many dark thoughts if the other track of events happened, he didn't wanna send himself into a pit of depression that will lead to insanity, and he didn't wanna end up like his mother.

He went into the bedroom and looked at the photo on his bed, his next job, then looked at the back of the photo, a smile crept to his lips once he read the address, he loved the way Mika always brought a smile to his lips just by the simple thought of her. He will get a chance to see Mika again; maybe this job wouldn't be as boring as all the others.

Kikyo watched as her middle son left the house with sadness and remorse.

What did I do wrong?

She was confused, why would Killua turn out like this? All her other children were raised the same way and they were nothing like Killua, but if she thought about it, she wasn't really close with any of her children, she was nothing but a torturer called Mama to them. She sometimes regretted the fact that her only memories with her children included screams and scars. She never interfered with her children's 'training', she was strong but she was still a mother and she didn't know if she could handle seeing her children in pain, they needed to be strong to carry on the family business and that wasn't gonna happen if she cooed and hugged them every time they got hurt.

It shred her heart to little pieces- not that she ever showed it- every time she heard one of her children scream- when they dared to- at their childhood, she wanted to comfort them but she knew that she shouldn't. It made her tremble internally every time she saw a scar on one of her children, even if it was just a scrap or a scratch.

She felt as if her heart was getting squeezed by hands of iron every time one of her children went on a 'job', especially Killua. He was always special to her for some reason; she would always send Illumi after him every time he left the house. That was how she found out about Killua 'friends'.

She walked up and down the hall in nervous steps, the sound of her heels clicking on the floor echoing all over the empty house, she knew she was getting on Silva's nerves but she didn't care.

"Where is he?" she kept mumbling to herself, Killua was away from home for over 2 weeks, he never left for longer than a week except for when he joined that hunter exam and 2 years later, when he spent time in Heaven's Arena. Where did he go now?

Illumi came back after the first day he left and said that Killua was on his way home but 2 weeks passed and there was no sign of him, she sent Illumi after him again and here she was waiting for him.

The door opened and Illmi entered, his face and eyes expressionless as always.

She ran to him and grabbed his arms, "Where is he?"She almost screamed not bothering to conceal her distress.

"He's alright mom, you don't have to worry" if he was surprised by the emotions his mother displayed, he didn't show it.

"Where is he now? Why didn't he come with you?" she asked after regaining her composure.

"erm…. He's busy" Illumi said a bit uncomfortable.

"Busy? What's that supposed to mean? Busy with what?" she questioned starting to get a bit angry at the insufficient information she was receiving.

He looked at his mother for a while, apparently thinking about how to say what he wanted to "He met someone on the way back from his job and decided to stay with that person for a while"

"What person?" she asked getting very impatient with the fact that she had to pull information out of him bit by bit.

"Mika"

Mika? That name rang a bell to her but she couldn't remember exactly where she heard it, it didn't matter "A girl?"

"Yes" he nodded.

"Okay, thank you Illumi" she walked to the nearest chair and threw herself at it.

"It's normal mom, he's 16" he said probably trying to comfort her, it didn't work, not that she just realized that her son was seeing someone and didn't bother to tell her, she felt a strange shock that her son was now 16, a grown up.

She was disturbed that she couldn't tell what her own son was doing, she felt like a failure and she didn't like it.

"Thank you Ilumi" she said in a dismissive tone, she needed some alone time now.