"Enjoy yourself did we?" Dervish asks, grinning cheekily as I enter, my hand clamped on my neck, hiding the lovebite. He cackles when I sigh at him. If I'm going to die, I rather be with him than anyone else, I think to myself sarcastically. He notices my confused expression, his brow furrows, his eyes run over my body then he shrugs and goes up to his study with a simple, "Be that way!" I smile after him. If only he knew. If only he knew the pain. If only he knew who bad I was hurting. His family wasn't killed in front of his eyes, they weren't ripped limb from limb right infront of him. He wasn't incarcerated in a facility for the mentally unstable. His brother didn't turn into a werewolf. His brother knew he had a brother. I growl to myself then throw a plate at the wall, hoping to vent some of my anger. It doesn't work. There's one place I want to be. I want to be home.
My real home, the house where it all went bad. The house I grew up in. The memories, the pain, the impending doom. If I'm to die, I want to die there, with my family. I want to die in the same room as them, like they never left me. But I can't go home, because Carcery Vale is my home now. And it's dangerous out there. Wild child! But firstly I need to tell Bill-E. I need to let him know. No! That would be cruel, then he would know he truly is an orphan and he's just lost a brother. Better to let him grieve me as a friend, which no doubt about it, he will. He'll grieve, he'll wake screaming at night, he'll cry, he'll curse my name, he'll hate me for leaving him, his only friend but he'll get over it. He'll have Dervish and his grandparents. Maybe Dervish will tell him the truth , let him know I'm his brother. Maybe I should leave letters for Dervish to find. Maybe Dervish will be so upset he daren't come in my room. He'll get over me. Everyone gets over me, Ickle Orphan Grubbs Grady, no impression on the world. Just a kid with a horrible background. A troubled kid. Well I'll be fine cause' I'll be dead so no hassle. No more drama...no more pain. I'll be free from all the pain, free from all the stress. No more pain.
I snort to myself, why am I even fantasizing about my own demise. How weird is that? No very weird compared to some of the other shit I've seen in my life.
