Sigh! It's good to be back. It took a little bit of time but I was finally able to get into the groove of things. I want to thank everyone for their well wishes and sympathy. Just knowing that everyone cared that much brought tears to my eyes. In a good way. Thank you so very much to avidreader69, Olivia Twisted, wytchwmn75, sessahh, and everyone else I'm sure I'm forgetting because I deleted the last chapter and lost your comments with it. It helped to know you all had my back and were willing to wait so I could get my shit together.

YOU ARE ALL THE BEST!

Shameless plug time. I have started a blog for Diary of a Fangirl. I will be posting everything Diary related there. Outtakes, actual diary entries, outtfits, the actual chapters. You name it and I'll put it there. Linkage -- http://diary-of-a-fangirl(dot)blogspot(dot)com/ remove the (dot)'s of course.

Thank you of course to my beta brandy_d. She makes this turd shine!

Now for everything you have all been waiting for, quite patiently I might add.


~*~

July 6th

BPOV

I didn't wake up until almost ten, but when I did it was to the sound of loud screaming and my bedroom door flying open to a very flustered Rose. Very flustered and still in her outfit from last night. Well that explains why no one was home when Edward dropped me off last night. He walked me up to the door, and kissed me good night and may or may not have brought me to one last orgasm before he left.

"You bloody whore," she said, while she pointed at me.

I gave her the once over making sure to linger on her rumpled dress and bed head. "Look who's talking."

She waved her hand about like it was no big deal. "Yes, well I might have had sex with Emmett, but at least I had the good sense to do it someplace with four walls and a ceiling, not in an alleyway."

I felt my heart stop. I stopped breathing. I had died.

How the fuck did Rose know about the alley?

EPOV

I had barely been asleep for more then an hour, at least that's what it felt like, before Emmett was knocking on my bedroom door.

When I had finally made it home after dropping Bella off at Rosalie's, it was well into the early hours of the morning. I just wanted to sleep, so I could call Bella when I woke up.

I had absolutely no intention of having sex with her. But watching her eat and the way her lips moved, and her eyes. They were dark as sin and set in her angels face. So, when I finally had her alone and her body was pressed up against mine, just feeling her, smelling her. It was torture and I couldn't withstand it any further. I had to have her, and the sounds she was making only encouraged me further.

Despite the fact that I knew that I shouldn't and that it was in poor taste, I fucked her. When it was done and we were dressed, I'll admit, a part of me thought maybe she only wanted me because of who I was. I waged a war with myself, I wanted to see her again. Everyday, all day. But what if this was just a one time thing for her?

When I finally asked her if I could see her again, she said, yes. I could have jumped for joy.

"Edward." I heard my name shouted above the knocking. "Dude get out of bed, we made E!."

I buried my head into my pillow and chose to ignore him. It wasn't the first time we had made it onto an entertainment news show and it wouldn't be the last that we were on there.

"Eddie boy, get off your ass and get out here. Bella looks hot." It was the mention of Bella that made me even contemplate getting out of bed. I suppose getting to see her on the telly was much better than having to wait until when we might see each other next.

I managed to get as far as the arm chair closest to my bedroom but with-in viewing distance of the screen. I watched as the host made generic commentary about Em and I being spotted out around London last night. Nothing new there. I was about ten seconds away from going back to bed when they started in on my new "love interest".

My interest was instantly piqued when they mentioned an unidentified brunette, who onlookers said I looked very cozy with. They flashed to a couple of grainy cell phone pictures of us sitting next to each other in the booth and one where she had the spoon from dessert in her mouth. I had to shift slightly in my chair at that memory, the things she did to that spoon… They, then, ran some quick video of us leaving the restaurant together with her tucked neatly into my side.

There was a break in the pictures and video then and the host made mention of additional pictures that may not be suitable for children. At the mention of the disclaimer I became incredibly interested in what they had to show. Silly me, I had thought they were done reporting on me. My jaw practically hit the floor with what I saw next. How was that legal?

It was a series of pictures taken with a night vision camera. What fucking papp had that kind of money? You could clearly make out both of us. Here legs were wrapped around me, and her head was thrown back.

Fuck me.

They caught up with us right before she bent over in front of me. I was afraid to see what other pictures they had. I wanted to turn it off before I saw anymore.

The last thing I wanted was to have Bella exposed to this. I was such a bloody idiot. It was bad enough we were seen leaving a restaurant together; they were going to be all over her just because of that. But for there to be pictures of us circulating in such a compromising position? She shouldn't have to deal with that.

I closed my eyes, hoping to God when I opened them it would turn out it was all a dream, and I was still in bed with Emmett knocking on my door. I opened my eyes and Jasper, Alice, and Emmett were all looking at me slack jawed, their gazes moving back and forth between me and the screen, like they were at Wimbledon. If the situation didn't suck as much as it did, I would almost have to laugh at their expressions.

I happened to glance back at the screen at the same moment everyone else in the room did, only to see a picture of Bella bent over as I was pushing her dress up. I stood up, sat down, tugged on my hair, squinted my eyes closed, rubbed the heel of my palms deeply into my eye sockets. Anything to get rid of the image I had just seen.

I had just begun to contemplate how I'd fair in prison if I was caught for killing that paparazzi, when I heard a loud gasp. Finally! Finally someone was on board with me, and this fucked up situation.

"Thank the fuck," I said. "Someone is finally catching on to what a cluster fuck this is."

I looked over at Alice to see what she had to say about the situation only to see her running her fingers through Jaspers hair and shaking her head back and forth quickly.

"Alice, were you going to say something?" I asked.

"Edward this is a disaster," was her only reply. I was pretty sure I knew what kind of situation I was in.

"Tell me something I don't already fucking know."

"Have you seen those pictures?" she asked.

"Pretty hard to miss them. What the fuck am I going to do Ali?" I asked her.

She looked up at me with her hand paused in Jasper's hair. "We are going to go out and buy a box of color ASAP. I can't believe I never noticed how much the blond was washing Jazz out."

I was puzzled. I was mystified. I was utterly fucking confused. Bella's and my life was ruined because we didn't have the sense to make sure we were in a closed room before having sex, and she was worried about Jaspers hair color?

"What the hell, Alice?! Have you not seen the pictures? Do you not get how big of an issue this is? I was caught fucking Bella in a damn alley and all your worried about is the color of his hair?" I finished off, pointing at Jaspers head.

BPOV

"Rose how in the hell did you know about what happened in the alley?" I asked, afraid of her answer.

She threw a stack of magazines at me, I was confused for all of one second before my brain caught up with my eyeballs. It was Edward and I on the front of every single one. One after another, it was nothing but us. They didn't even have anything about Rose and Emmett, or Alice and Jasper. Most of the cover shots were of us together as we left the restaurant last night; he had his arm wrapped around my waist and I had my face pressed up against his chest. You could barely see my face, thank God.

As I looked at the magazines spread all around me I had no idea what to do. How does one react to this? I wanted to be angry, but I suppose it could have been much worse. There were worse pictures they could have published, much worse. I could feel my face heating at the reminder of what had happened in that alley.

The alley. Oh fuck. Rose knew about the alley.

I grabbed the magazine closest to me and began flipping through the pages. My hand stopped it's hasty movements, and I just stared at what was in front of me. I blinked once, twice, three times.

"Rose, pinch me," I said. When she didn't move I became unreasonably angry with her. "Rose, fucking pinch me, damnit!"

I felt a sharp sting and sighed. It wasn't a dream. I think I was going to be sick.

How did they get all of these pictures of us? Sure the worst ones weren't published. There were no shots of him mid-thrust, but there was enough. For the most part there were mainly pictures of us with my legs wrapped around him while we were looking at each other. We weren't actually fucking, but you'd never be able to tell by looking at them.

Suddenly I felt violated, in the worst way possible. Someone, or multiple someone's were watching us, and worse yet, they were taking pictures of it. I threw the covers off my body and ran for the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet to empty my stomach. I felt a cool hand gathering up my hair as I retched the contents of my stomach up.

When I felt like I couldn't possibly throw up anymore, I reached up with a shaky hand and flushed. I watched the water swirl around before the evidence of my humiliation was washed away. I leaned back against the edge of the bath tub and closed my eyes. What the hell was I going to do?

I looked up at Rose as she pressed a cool washcloth against my forehead. "It could be worse," she said.

I gave a short bark of laughter, completely devoid of any humor. There was no way it could be worse, in fact, I was pretty positive it was about to get a whole hell of a lot more worse.

"Rose, we weren't even fucking in those pictures." She looked confused, and to be honest I wanted her to stay confused. I didn't want to tell her what else had happened.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Can I just get a glass of water, please?" She opened her mouth, I'm sure to argue with me, but whatever she saw on my face stopped her.

She nodded and got up to get my water. Slowly, I made my way up off of the bathroom floor and followed her out into the kitchen. I sat at her breakfast bar, and she took up residence on the other side. She slid the glass over and I took a couple sips, before setting it down. I swallowed hard, not really sure where to start.

"So," I began.

"So," she mimicked. When I made no move to continue she sighed softly. "B, you know you don't have to tell me anything right?"

I nodded. I knew that, but I still wanted to tell her, so at least one person knew that those weren't pictures of us fucking.

"So, we ahh, did the deed, after those pictures were taken." It was a good place to start.

"We were both on two feet when the actual act occurred." She looked a little confused still, so I went on. "We weren't actually facing each other when shit went down."

She shook her head and I could see the gears moving, but still no light bulb came on. "He fucked me from behind."

Her eyes grew large. "You mean… you weren't… you know." She made a fist around her finger and slid it up and down. "In those pictures?"

I chuckled a little at her crude gesture and shook my head no. Her mouth dropped open, and she must have finally gotten on the same page as me.

"I was wrong wasn't I?" she asked. "It could be so much worse."

I nodded my head 'yes' before dropping forehead down onto the counter with a loud thwack.

EPOV

I honestly didn't know what to do with Alice. I needed to do damage control, and she was worried about her boyfriend's hair. Honestly, I think Jaspers hair should be low on everyone's priorities right now.

"Edward, will you chill out already," she said.

Was she mad? "Are you mad? How the hell am I supposed to chill out? Didn't you see what's been plastered all over… everywhere?" I could hear my voice rising with each question.

She rolled her eyes at me before getting on the phone. I over heard her telling whoever was on the other end that she needed a stylist sent over, she rattled off my address before hanging up.

"Are you done over-reacting yet, Edward?" she asked.

I opened my mouth to say more but she cut me off.

"Listen you need to settle the fuck down right this minute. You fucked up. You both did. What were you thinking, Edward?"

She paused and I started to speak, but she cut me off again.

"You know your every move is followed, documented, filmed, caught forever on celluloid. Yet, you still go and fuck someone in an alley. Hell, you should have just dragged her to a park and bent her over a bench." I winced at her crude words but knew she was right.

I wasn't thinking. Well I was thinking, just using the wrong head. I sighed and hung my head in shame.

She had one thing wrong though, Bella didn't fuck up. This was all on my shoulders. I knew the life I had now, and I should have been thinking about how this would affect Bella.

"Besides, why worry about something we can't do shit about right now, when there is something that can be done about the disastrous state of Jaspers hair." As soon she uttered that phrase there was a knock on the door and she skipped over to the door.

In walked some guy with a mo-hawk and a black bag thrown over his shoulder. They embraced and kissed each other on the cheek.

"Jared, so nice of you to come over." She led him into the kitchen as they kept talking.

"You know I'd do anything for you baby," he said, winking at her.

I looked over at Jasper and he just shook his head and got up following them into the kitchen. I looked over at Emmett and he looked just as confused as I was.

"Who's that guy?" he asked, I merely shrugged in reply. "So you and Bella gettin' down and dirty in an alley, huh?"

Leave it up to Emmett to break it down to its most basic form. "It would appear so."

"Dude, that's fucking epic. What the hell are you so stressed about? I'd be shouting that shit from the fucking roof top if I was you." He was grinning at me, and I had the sudden urge to hit him.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to think of how to phrase it so he might understand. "Emmett, it's not the act itself, it's who saw the act take place, who's seeing it now. And imagine if there's tape of us? The last fucking thing I need, no the last thing Bella needs, is to have to worry about a sex tape. I can handle it, I've been handling it for years now. But Bella shouldn't have to go through this."

"Edward, man, I get that, but it's only as bad as you make it. So what are you going to do?" he asked.

"I don't know. I should just leave her alone. Let her get back to a normal life."

"Eddie, you know I love you. You're like my brother from another mother, but right now you're talking out of your ass. How is she supposed to get back to a normal life after this? And think about it, what would be worse; you two continuing to see each other or never seeing her again? You know if you never saw her again, it'd look worse. I saw the way you two were looking at each other during dinner; hell it was hard to miss the way you two were eye fucking each other. But one thing was clear, even if you aren't ready to admit it, there is something more there then just a one time fuck."

I was a bit in awe at the wisdom Emmett just threw at me. He was completely and utterly right. I knew when I said the words about leaving her alone they were merely words, nothing more.

I got up with purpose now and made my way into the kitchen. I stopped short at what was in front of me. Jasper was sitting in one of the chairs with a black cape that sparkled and his hair was covered in some black gooey substance. Alice was talking to Jared and they kept touching each others hand when they had something they thought was important to share. I was a little worried that Jaspers girl seemed to be flirting with another guy right in front of him, when the guy threw his head back and giggled. No shit, he actually giggled.

"Alice, can I get Bella's number?" She looked shocked.

"You mean you don't have it? You fuck the poor girl in an alley and didn't get her number? I'm not so sure you deserve her number, if you don't even have your shit together enough to ask for it yourself." Jared snapped his fingers dramatically at the end of Alice's little soap box speech.

"Alice, please." I implored. "I need to call her. I need to make sure she's okay, or find out if she never wants to see me again. I need to apologize for not thinking first and see if she'll let me make it up to her."

She sat there pursing her lips at me, eyes narrowed.

"If it helps I did ask her out, and she said she'd like to see me again." I was desperate and trying to work any angle.

She sighed dramatically and got up to get her phone from her and Jasper's bedroom. She slapped the phone down in my hand and I thanked her profusely before looking down to see the call was already in progress.

BPOV

"Well, we just need to find the bright side of things," Rose said.

I peeked up at her and arched an eyebrow. "Tell me how I'm supposed to see the bright side of this."

"Was he good?" she asked.

If I had been taking a drink, I would have spit it out all over her. I could feel my face burning up. Her smile grew larger and I groaned letting my forehead hit the counter again.

"I knew it. I bet he's hung too," she said.

"I wouldn't know, now would I," I said

"Well let me just tell you everything on Emmett is proportional. Huge muscles, huge feet, huge hands…" she trailed off, getting this dreamy look on her face.

I was ready to die. This day could not possibly get any worse. But you know what they say about Murphy's Law.

My phone rang and I jumped at the excuse to get away from Rose before she gave me anymore detail that I didn't want. A quick glance at the caller ID told me it was Alice.

"Alice, thank God you called. I don't know what to do, and I'm sure you've heard all about it now. How do I even look him in the face? How do I show my face in public? And oh hell, Alice, my friends my dad." I managed to spit that out in one breath.

I paused waiting for a reply and when there was nothing but dead air, I asked, "Hello?"

I was just about ready to hang up when I heard his voice.

"Bella?"

~*~


A/N: You know I'm back when I'm cockblocking/twatblocking leaving you with a cliffie. I like cliffhanagers. Just don't be stupid like Bella in NM and jump off them.

And that folks is your PSA for the day, don't jump off cliffs.

I'm hoping to keep up a decent schedule and back to one chapter a week, at least until May. I may or may not have to take some time off in May to write a story for a fic exchange.

Reviews are love and we could all use a little more love.