Chapter 2
The night before had been fun. After Martha and Alexis went to bed, Kate and Castle snuggled on the sofa and went through the photo album. As he promised, he told her what he knew about the pictures, some bringing sad or painful memories, but mostly sweet, fun, or funny ones. Kate asked related questions now and then but managed to keep it more like a walk down Memory Lane than an interrogation. They both woke up that morning feeling good about where they were now.
Kate finished her coffee as Alexis reached the top of the stairs, and Castle saw a look on her face that told him she wasn't yet comfortable with being there when his daughter woke up first thing in the morning. He knew being there with his mother didn't bother her anymore, but Alexis hadn't been at home that much, and it seemed to feel different when it was his daughter.
As she put her breakfast dishes in the dishwasher, Castle leaned against the kitchen counter and said quietly and lovingly, "I'll talk to her this morning…make sure she understands."
Turning toward him, she answered, "It still feels like I'm invading her space. I know it's going to eventually work itself out. I'm just not quite there yet, and I'm still not quite sure how she feels about it."
"I know. It's okay." He cupped her cheek in his hand and gave her a soft, chaste but loving kiss, and a little louder, said, "I'll see you in a couple of hours."
"Okay," she answered, then gave him a big smile, a little kiss on the cheek, and whispered in his ear, "I love you." She grabbed her keys and checked her badge and gun. "Morning, Alexis," she called on her way out the door as Alexis entered the kitchen.
"She didn't leave because of me, did she?" Alexis asked.
"No. It doesn't bother her to still be here when you go to bed, but having you wake up and find her here still feels a little uncomfortable for her. This morning she was just trying to get to work early, though. We talked to Gates about us yesterday, and…"
"Finally. What did she say?"
"Looks like we're still okay at the precinct, for the near future, anyway. Anyhow, we told her right at the end of the day and got out of there fast before Gates could change her mind. Kate left some of her paperwork unfinished when we left and wanted to get it done this morning before the captain felt the need to come looking for it."
"Why haven't you asked Kate to marry you, Dad?" Alexis asked as she poured herself a glass of orange juice. "You've never brought a woman home to stay with you unless you married her, and I know you love her more than you loved either of them."
"It's co…"
"I'm sick, and I don't have the patience for that 'It's complicated' line again. It shouldn't be complicated. You're both obviously in love. You've been together more than half of the past year, you've known each other for over four years. It should be the logical next step."
"You'd be okay with that?" he asked quietly.
"Do I sound like I'm trying to discourage the idea?" she asked, sitting down with him at the table and giving him her impatient face, accompanied with a little eye roll. "I'd be fine with it."
"Are you okay with the way things are now for a little longer?" he asked, hopefully, getting up to put bread in the toaster and scramble her some eggs."
"I'm okay with seeing you happy, and you are, but I know you want more. Maybe I just want to see her make a commitment. She's hurt you so many times. I guess it makes me nervous…kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop. It does feel different now, though. I really like her, Dad, and I want to trust her with you; but you're my dad, and I'm not here to help now, and I haven't seen anybody able to hurt you the way she can."
"Nobody has made me happier, either." He turned and smiled at her reassuringly. "I've hurt her, too, honey. Neither of us intended to hurt the other. We just didn't talk about important things for a long time. That causes misunderstandings…missteps. We both come with emotional baggage...old wounds and old behaviors to get past. We've both lived with betrayals. Trust isn't easy for either of us, and we needed time to establish that…to be sure of what we have." He stopped and took a sip of his coffee, seemed to be thinking before he continued. "We're talking now…when there are problems. We're being honest about things…and patient with each other. We're working at it…both of us. I'm not sure you understand what she had to ask of herself to be here with us at Christmas. She told me she and her Dad hadn't opened their box of Christmas decorations since her mother died. She hadn't had a Christmas like this in all that time. She's trying hard…for me…for us."
"No Christmas for that long?"
She spent some time with her dad for the last few years, but more than likely, just lunch and a little time together. None of the trimmings. She always works on Christmas. That's been her tradition all these years."
Alexis watched her dad move efficiently around the kitchen. "But she got out of it and braved a full-on Richard Castle Christmas…for you?"
"Yeah. I felt pretty special."
"We could tell," she responded with a teasing smile.
He smiled back, and put the plate with her eggs and toast in front of her. "Whoops. I forgot the silverware."
"So, how long will it be before I can say I have a step-mom?"
"You're hanging on to that question like a pit bull, aren't you?" he answered, sitting back down and handing her a knife and fork. "Does it bother you that we're finally working things out right when you've left for college? We didn't plan it that way. It's just when it happened."
"No. It kind of makes it easier for me to enjoy college. I know you're not alone, that Grams and Kate are both around when you need somebody. I know you can take care of yourself; but we've taken care of each other for such a long time…"
"I know. I feel the same way about you. I know you're independent and capable, but I can't help feeling like I've given up my little girl.
"What do you think she'd say if you asked her?"
"Aaaaaaand we're back to that."
Alexis grinned. "Have I ever been easy to distract?"
"No. I don't know what I was thinking." He laughed and took another sip of coffee. "I don't know what she'd say. I think it's what we both want eventually, but I don't know if she's ready for that big a commitment yet."
"Are you sure she loves you?"
"Yeah," he answered with a smile, remembering the whisper in his ear before she left.
"And you're sure she trusts you?"
"You were here through the Tyson case, right?"
"Right. So you're sure she loves you, and she trusts you, and neither of you are the least bit interested in seeing anybody else."
"That pretty well covers it."
"And you're sure she knows you love her and trust her."
"Yeah. She knows."
"Then, sorry, Dad, but I don't see a problem. It already looks like a commitment to me. Looks to me like all you need is a ring."
"It's in the wall safe in the study," he admitted, turning his mug back and forth with one finger on the handle. "I saw it in the jewelry case a few months ago when I was looking for a birthday gift for Mother, and it looked perfect for Kate, and…"
Alexis squealed in excitement. "Will you show me? How could you have had it that long and not have given it to her? And how could you not tell me?"
"I'm a coward? I don't know, Pumpkin. I guess I'm just afraid I'll burst the bubble if I move too fast. Come on. I'll show you." He went to the wall safe, got the ring box, and handed it to Alexis.
She took it eagerly but opened it slowly to savor the moment. "Dad, it's beautiful. It's a perfect compromise of what she'd probably want and what you'd want to give her. It's elegant, but it won't look overdone at work or underdone at big parties..."
"So I did okay?"
"Better than okay. It's perfect." She closed the box and handed it back to him.
As he started to put it back in the wall safe, he remembered Kate telling him she wanted someone to just dive in with; and he began to think Alexis might not be too far off course. He and Kate still had things to work out, but they were getting better at that; and with enough love and trust, it would happen. Maybe they could just dive in.
"I think you should go ahead and ask her. It isn't like you're really rushing into anything. As long as you've known one another, there can't be too many annoying habits the two of you don't already know about. You practically read each other's minds, and I've never seen two people who love each other more than the two of you."
"And again you sound like the adult in the room. Not fair. But thank you for helping me think."
"So, what are you waiting for?"
He hugged her and kissed her head, imagining diving in. "The right moment, I guess. And I promise you'll be the first to know when I've found it."
"Don't worry, Dad," she answered with a sneaky, 'gotcha' look on her face, "I'll talk to her tonight…make sure she understands."
