AND HERE WE GO AGAIN!

Chp 5:

Edward's POV:

What have I done? I shouldn't have changed Bella. I should have taken her to the hospital and hoped for a miracle. But how could I have done that? She would have surely died. But she wouldn't feel this horrible pain, she'd be an angel in heaven. I cannot exist in a world without Bella though. Poor Charlie and Renee. Why did Jacob have to find us so soon? Now I will have less time with Bella, because she definitely hates me now.
"Charlie. Poor, Charlie." She sobbed into my chest.
"I know. I'm so sorry Bella." I answered.
That stopped her. She stared into my eyes for a second.
"What do you have to be sorry for? This isn't your fault." She asked.
"I should have just taken you to the hospital and hoped for the best. I'm sorry I changed you, Bella. It was selfish and cruel. You can leave now. You don't have to spare my feelings. I am truly sorry for all this pain I have caused you." I choked on the words.
"Stop it! You always blame yourself for everything when it is never your fault! Edward you saved my life and I am completely happy that you did. If you hadn't of, I would be dead. Would you rather me dead, because personally I like being alive with you?" She added sarcastically.
I sighed. She was obviously trying to help stop my pain. Bella is so selfless. I never deserved her. She deserves someone who can give her things, not take them away.
"You would probably be better off and in less pain if you were dead." I whispered.
"Edward, stop this. I love you. I am so happy that you saved me. We are together again and no pain is worse than the time you weren't with me. That was ten times more than this atleast." She said.
She reached up to kiss me and I leaned away. She had to stop these lies. She is going to tear herself apart because of me.
"EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN!" She yelled. She began to sob again and she backed away from me. No, she can't leave yet. NO!
"Yes?" I whispered, afraid she was about to say goodbye.
"This is your cruel trick, isn't it? I knew it. I knew you didn't love me anymore. You just saved me and you are going to leave me by making me think I don't love you. I love you, Edward and nothing you do can ever change that!" She choked.
She was sobbing even harder than before. She thinks I have tricked her? She thinks I don't love her? Whoa. This was too much, maybe she does love me. She did say that this pain wasn't anyway near as bad as when I left her. I felt a jolt of anger. How could I leave her? She wouldn't be in any pain now if I would have stayed and kept all my promises. I had to make it up to her, all of it!
"Bella?" I leaned down and picked her up. "I love you too." I said. "More than you will ever know. I'm sorry about leaving you, I thought it would keep you safe and let you live a long happy life, but it didn't work and I will never forgive myself for leaving you. I'm sorry, I truly love you." I kissed her then. It felt as if everything bad disappeared as soon as my lips touched hers.
"I love you too." She said. Her eyes clearly happy and excited.
"I know." I said. "But you need to hunt." It was clear that she was extremely thirsty, from the color of her eyes.
"Okay." She sighed. "What is on the menu?" She chucked.
"Let's see. I smell elk, deer, and ….. wolf. What about you?" Her eyes narrowed at the word wolf.
"Jacob…" She muttered.
I sighed. "I'm sorry. How inconsiderate of me. We will hunt and then we can try to find him. Would you like to visit Alice and everyone first though? They are dying to meet the new you." I chuckled.
"Sure. Sounds great! But Edward, can we take a quick look in on my dad, please? I need to see how he is doing." Her voice broke as she choked out the last few words.
"Alright, but he can't see you. I'm sorry, but everyone thinks you're dead." I replied.
"Ok then, let's hunt!" She was suddenly enthusiastic. She must be thirsty!
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