Disclaimer: All characters appearing in any of the stories posted here are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. I do not, in any way, profit from any story posted here and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).


Chapter Two

One Year Later


This couldn't be happening.

He could not be gone.

He could not die.

John Winchester just… didn't die.

He couldn't.

Bella swallowed convulsively against the grief lodged in the back of her throat. Her eyes stung harshly and she was finding it increasingly difficult to breath normally. Her hands gripped the steering wheel, her fingers turning white from the force.

This can't be happening…

But she knew it was. She knew when she'd gotten that call from Bobby, his breath all short like and a small hitch in his voice. She knew something was wrong. When those two stuttering words left her friend's mouth, her life once again was flipped upside down.

How foolish she once was, when she was a stupid love struck teenager, to imagine that her life was over when he had left her. Now she knew the meaning of grief. The pain that rips a hole through your chest and you're left trying to piece it back together without success.

The kind of pain that never left.

"John's gone…"

Those two simple, yet life altering words had crashed into Bella, and she just wasn't prepared.

She never would have been prepared to lose him. He'd changed her life. Had given her something to fight for.

Twice.

.but now he's gone….

Bella tried her hardest to keep her face normal. To keep her features from crumpling in pain. It was so damn hard to do.

She'd been lucky that she'd taken a job only two hours away. She was almost there, and every inch closer she got, the harder her heart pounded against her ribs, the more painful breathing became.

Bobby said she should hurry. That the boys were giving John a hunters funeral.

She shuddered against the thought and clenched her jaw.

He was probably resting on his pyre right now…

She couldn't do this! She just believe she would never see him. This couldn't be happening!

Not again!

Without realizing, Bella had floored her little car the last ten minutes and pulled in spraying gravel. She rushed from the car, and before she could even make it two feet the door opened and she meet the haunted eyes of Bobby. His face was drawn down in harsh lines and sunken eyes, his usual red cheeks, a pale comparison.

Bella skidded to a stop. Her limbs seemed to go weak, and she could almost feel what small spark of hope she had extinguish.

She felt so tired.

Exhausted.

She was terrified.

She wanted dive back in her car, turn around and pretend this never happened. That he was out hunting, ignoring her calls as usual.

"Bella…" Bobby spoke as he walked forward. Bella instinctively shut her eyes and took a deep breath. "come on girl, he's 'round back." he whispered when her met her.

For a moment Bella wondered if her legs were going to work, but they seemed to move with out thought.

The bright flames was the next thing her sad eyes locked on.

Her legs gave out, and in a whoosh of breath she'd though her heart had to.

Thankfully Bobby steadied her with his rough hands. He squeezed her arm and bent down to whisper to her, she smelled the stale beer on his breath.

"Come on Bella, It's almost over." he had whispered, but the words still hurt her head. With an absentminded nod she walked over. The closer she came the more she saw.

Two figures standing side by side, their gazes locked on the dancing flames.

Sam and Dean.

Of course she knew of them, John and Bobby always spoke of them. A rough shard of guilt cut through her chest. These were John's sons. His family. Here she was acting like she was the only one who'd lost him. She could feel Bobby right beside her as they continued walking. It was the next step that the shorter of the two, Dean, finally noticed their presence. Confusion at first, then white hot rage swept over his features, Bobby quickly stepped in. She couldn't see the look on Bobby's face as he was now in front of her but she heard the low words, "I'll explain later, I swear."

Dean must not have had it in him to argue, Bella thought, because as they continued forward, his closed off face, and burning eyes were facing the fire once again.

The four of them stood there watching as the fire consumed someone they loved.

It shouldn't have been like this, she thought.

He'd saved so many people. Done so much good, and at the end. Four broken people stood to say goodbye while the rest of the word kept going like nothing had happened.

It wasn't fair.

Bella couldn't hold back the tears anymore, the pain in her chest was too overwhelming, she let them fall silently, wrapping her arms around herself, trying to hold herself together. Again. Her expression never changed.

Why him? Why not someone else? She knew it was selfish but she didn't care. He should be here.

Bella took a shaky breath, let her eyes go unfocused, and just picture John's half grin as she stood witnessing the funeral of another person she loved, lost.


Bella had gone in the house after a few more minutes to give the boys time to themselves. She knew they needed that.

Hell, she needed it.

She busied herself making some sandwiches and some tea, though she didn't think she could keep anything down right now, it gave her something to do.

Just as she was cutting the last sandwich a voice startled her.

"Who the hell're you?" the voice was harsh and deep. She spun around and met dark green eyes.

"Bella." she answered back in a subdued voice. That broken voice she hadn't heard in a while.

"Well, Sweetheart," he bit back in an angered tone, "I'm pretty sure my dad didn't know any Bella's, so what the hell are you doing here?" She watched as the taller one, Sam walked in behind him, his eyes and cheeks still wet with grief.

"Hold up a minute boys," Bobby cut in, coming into the room, "Your daddy sure as hell did know Bella, now why don't we just take a breather, sit down, and we'll have ourselves chat." by the look of Dean's clenched jaw, she knew he wanted to protest, apparently Bobby noticed as well. "Boy, that wasn't a suggestion." he said more firmly.

The wooden chairs creaked as Sam, Dean, Bobby and Bella sat down around the table, the tea and sandwiches sat in the middle.

"Who is she Bobby?" Sam broke the silence, his voice a little hoarse.

"We met a year ago. A vampire," Bella started as she focused on pouring herself a glass of the cool tea. "He kinda saved me. You could say he took me in." she finished and took a long pull of the sweet concoction.

"Took you in? Dad didn't take civilians in." Dean pointed out glaring at Bobby.

"Maybe 'took in' was the wrong phrase, more like he stumbled right over her when he took down a vamp. He was gonna let her go her own way after he covered up her scent. There was another one of those son of a bitches out there, but then he noticed somthin', he wanted some answers so he made her talk and then brought her to me." Bobby gave Bella a fleeting grin. "Tried to teach her a little 'bout huntin' but she's too damn clumsy. Two left feet this one." he chuckled halfheartedly as he grasped Bella's shoulder. "He did what he could. Taught her what she needed to know, had her goin' with him, and doin' some research for him sometimes. Showed her how to handle a gun. They were friends boys." Bobby finished with a sigh.

"Dad didn't have friends." Dean all but growled out the words at Bobby before shifting his burning gaze back on her. She shivered under his scrutiny.

"He was my friend," was all that she could say as she looked at him.

No, he was more than a friend. He was my family.

"We believe you," Sam's voice grabbed her attention. He offered her a small smile. She tried to offer one back. Maybe she succeeded. She heard Dean's huff before his chair screeched in protest as he shoved himself away from the table and left the room. Sam watched his older brother storm out with dark, sad eyes. Bella turned her attention back the glass sitting in front of her, her finger traced the cool rivulets of water that rolled down the glass.

"I'm sorry." she heard Sam rush out before he followed his brother. It was quiet for a moment as Bella dragged her finger across the warn table top in random patterns. What could she say? There was nothing to say.

Bobby interrupted her figure eight pattern when he reached for a sandwich and some tea. He cleared his throat.

"John would've had Dean's hide for bein' such an idjit." he stated on a huff. Bella fought off a fresh wave of tears. "He taught that boy better manners than that."

"S'all right Bobby." she mumbled as she took another drink.

"You know," Bobby started off between bites of his food. "The day he brought you here, I thought he'd damn near lost his mind. Skinny little thing like you all doe eyed and scared."

"I was having an off week." she mumbled back, thinking on the day. "I'd just seen him decapitate someone." she finished and she heard him chuckle, both of them lost in different memories.

After finishing her drink in relative silence Bella gave Bobby small smile of thanks and rose to place her glass in the sink, she gave Bobby's shoulder a quick squeeze and made her way out the kitchen door to the back yard.

The wood creaked as she walked across the old back porch and took a seat on the step and just watched the sky. Five minutes hadn't gone by when she heard the screen door open and close before she felt someone sit down next to her.

"So, you knew my dad." she heard Sam's quiet voice state. Bella flicked her eyes to him, he stared straight ahead.

She nodded, her dark locks tickling her back, before she remembered to speak. "Yeah, I knew him."

"Dean's a little-" Sam tried to apologize for his brother but Bella shook her head.

"It's fine," she said, turning to look at him. His face was still pale, and his eyes were covered by the thick brown fringe of hair that hung in his face, his head tilted down.

He was hurting.

Everyone was hurting.

"You know," she started, unsure of why she was even talking, it wasn't like her, she usually preferred silence. "John talked about you all the time." she whispered as she looked back over the dark velvet blanket that covered the sky. She heard Sam's sharp intake of breath.

"What did he say?" his voice sounded so hesitant, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

Bella was quiet for a brief moment. John had told her that things between him and his sons weren't perfect. He'd done things, and said things he shouldn't have.

He'd told her that sometimes pride was just too strong a bastard to let go of.

Bella inhaled deeply and turned her face to look at Sam. He was staring back with such anticipation that her heart ached for him.

"He said he was proud of you."

She watched as he swallowed thickly and whip his face around to stare at the sky, she followed suit and focused on the moon trying to block out everything. Trying to block out the emotion clawing its way up her throat.

She faintly heard Sam walk back in the house.

He's really gone…

The pulse accelerated.

A heartbeat seems like such a small thing. A tiny moment. But a heartbeat for someone else? When your heart aches and pounds harshly for someone else, when you would give anything to see them again?

It hurts

And in that moment when her heart thundered furiously against her chest, every brief slam of her heart, their faces flashed in her mind. Those dark, smiling eyes, their soft husky voice, so alike yet so different.

He'd saved her.

He'd saved her when she was so alone that she felt that her soul could have withered away to nothing…

And he'd saved her when she lost everything.

In every aspect of her lonely life, he'd saved her.

But now as the twilight settled over the earth, sounds slowly faded to nothing. The mutely solace, harsh, and the heartbeat pounding in her ears was deafening. Her trembling hands settled on her stomach as fear gripped her in a vice grip, contracting painfully. Her petite body quivered as she let go and sobbed.


A/N: Sorry that this chapter is a bit shorter. Next one will be longer. Hope you guys are enjoying this! I'm working on the next chapter right after I upload this. :-D