So, because I don't want this to turn into a never-ending-and-increasingly-pointless fan fiction, I plan to end this story after the next couple chapters, maybe even in the next chapter-I haven't decided yet. However, I do plan to start new stories, because I enjoyed writing this one so much. I have been dying to do something involving the newer episodes since this story started up before those came about and I wasn't able to incorporate any of the newer happenings from the show, so we'll see what happens. Just wanted to let you know so it wasn't like BAM! Ending.

Enjoy!

Chapter 19

The couch was empty, the used blankets were draped over it, and the pillow still had the indentation in it from a good night of use. Patrick had made it out of the house before anyone else even saw morning light. I guess I half expected that.

Now, the day has long since come to an end and darkness has moved in to replace the sunshine. Standing below my bedroom window, the chilly air blankets my shoulders and makes my teeth chatter. I fold my arms across my chest and run my hands over my arms. The startling warmth only lasts a few short seconds and I begin to regret not grabbing a jacket before climbing out the window. Dismayed at the fact that I am still standing here alone, I check the time on my cell phone. Two minutes to 11. I start to doubt that Patrick plans to make a reappearance, though after the disappearing act he pulled this morning I think it is the least he could do for me. I let a sigh of disappointment escape into the empty air and turn to make the short trip up to my bedroom. As I do, footsteps startle me from behind and I spin around quickly, prepared to release five years of childhood karate skills on the source of the noise. However, when I finally focus in on the source of the noise I let my guard down. Patrick takes a step backward, seeing that he has startled me. I am assuming it is because he knows how much damage I could do if I don't immediately recognize him.

"I see that jacket I gave you isn't being put to good use," he states, disregarding the fact that a second ago I was fully prepared to break him in half like a twig. I shrug at the observation. It's true; the leather jacket he let me wear that night after swimming is still upstairs hanging on the back of my desk chair and hasn't been worn since that night.

"I thought you'd like the honor of warming me up," I grin, stepping closer to him. He takes a step forward, closing the space between us. He gathers me in a warm embrace and kisses me. When our lips finally separate I am out of air. Breathing heavily, overwhelmed by the kiss, I look into his deep brown eyes. With my newfound knowledge of what his life is like when he isn't with me, I can distinguish the pain seeping into his gaze. More than anything I want to show him the other side of pain-joy.

"Let's go," he says, wrapping my hand in his and leading me to his bike. Tonight is a full moon. Patrick is even more enthralled by the beach when it is lit by a full moon.

With his jean jacket wrapped around my shoulders to keep me warm, we stand in front of the crashing waves, letting the refreshing water unfold over our feet. I turn my attention away from the ocean to look at his moonlit face. Feeling my gaze, he turns to me. His touch is warm as he pulls me into him and kisses me once again. Each kiss is more overpowering than the last. When he pulls away I start to wonder if this fate is as real as the sand beneath our feet. Because I never thought that I could feel like this. I never thought I would meet someone who could mend all of my ripped up seams, all the pain from the past. I want to be the star of all his dreams and be the girl that mesmerizes him because when I look at him the world just melts away. I want to fight these feelings, fend them off with everything I have so that there is no possibility of getting hurt, but I've never trusted someone to not break my heart as deeply as I trust Patrick. I thought I could put only half my heart into this relationship, keep myself from falling completely and becoming attached, but stumbling around in circles gets dizzying at a certain point and I gave in and just went forward with it; I put everything on the table, risking it all, hoping that his promise not to break my heart was as sincere as it seemed.

"I love you," I declare, letting my emotions get the best of me, something so out of character for me that even I am surprised by the words. But tailing that surprise is the realization that letting the words pour out of my mouth was a mistake. I feel like an idiot. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean…I don't know why I said that." I shake my head, expressing my feeling of regret attached to saying those words. He doesn't say anything for a moment, which makes me nervous, though I don't know why. I didn't have any set expectations when I said the words; I didn't expect anything in return. We stare at the water in silence and I realize that the blissful moment that I never wanted to end turned into an agonizing moment that felt like it would never end once I said those three words.

"It's okay." He doesn't seem to feel uncomfortable or reproachful. Very little time has lapsed between my apology and his acceptance of that apology, but it felt like an eternity. I let another eternity pass before changing the subject.

"Are things okay at home now?" I inquire softly, though I am not fully engaged in the conversation that I am commencing. He nods, but tacks on a worrying shrug.

"I cleaned up the kitchen today. The bastard didn't even bother to clean my blood up off the floor."

"He wasn't there today?"

"Thankfully, he's normally only home a few nights a week."

"That's good."

"Yeah."

Sensing that the rest of this night won't lay as smoothly as it had when it started, I decide to just put an end to it. "It's getting late…I should get home."

His hesitation lasts only a second before he gets to his feet and reaches out a hand to help me up. I let him assist me and lead me back to his bike. The night ends with a kiss, but it doesn't take me the same way it did at the beginning.