Disclaimer: All characters appearing in any of the stories posted here are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. I do not, in any way, profit from any story posted here and that all creative rights to the characters belong to their original creator(s).


Chapter Three


"You're all over the place!" John ground out.

"I know! I'm not any good at this!" Bella panted back.

"You're right, and you never will be with that attitude!," he punctuated every other word with another move, that seem to hone in directly to Bella's arm, leg, or stomach.

"Argh!" Bella grunted as a well practiced sweep of his legs sent her on her back. She was tired, she was dirty, she was so very sore.

They'd been at this for an hour and already Bella wanted to crawl her pitiful self back to her room on Bobby's second floor and hide under the covers. John and Bobby both had been adamant that if anyone needed some basic training, it was her, and they'd put it upon themselves to teach her everything they thought she would need to know.

Only thing was, she really really sucked at it.

Bella heard John sigh as she lay there panting for breath, her hand pressing against a dull throb in her ribs. When a shadow fell over her limp frame she opened her eyes and frown at John as he stuck his hand out. Her frown maybe could have been considered a pout as she took his hand, but she would have denied it.

Not bothering to dust the grime from her clothes they walked over to Bobby's always creaking back porch and took a seat, Bella closed her eyes.

Her eyes hurt. Her head hurt. Her back, arms, legs, butt, and even her hair hurt.

She tried to glare at John but she failed miserably.

"You need this." John said, as he wiped his sweaty brow and blinked against the harsh South Dakota sun.

"I know," she sighed.

"You're apart of this world now, there's no gettin' out . So you'd better be prepared to fight tooth and nail to stay in it." he told her seriously.

"John.." she hated the whine to her voice, and apparently so did he.

"Quite that whining , you got too much to live for, to be taken down so easy.." Bella opened her mouth to interrupt.

'Too much to live for?' who was he kidding.

"Don't interrupt me either," he stated firmly, "I know you wanna argue that you don't, but you do. I know everything might seem like hell right now, and it might be, but you got your whole life a head of you. Take it from someone who knows. Sometimes there are things in this life that's worth stickin' around for, even if we don't know it yet."

Bella stayed quiet.

She wished that were true.

John bumped his shoulder against hers but didn't look at her, Bella hissed in pain and teasingly glared and him and bumped him shoulder back.

"What's got such a grin on that face?" Bobby's voice snapped her out of her thoughts as she organized her rucksack once again.

"Just thinking." she shrugged.

In the days after John's funeral, Bella settled into a routine.

Clean up around the house, cook, do a little research with Bobby, practice with her Smith and Wesson 36 Lady Smith Revolver that had been a gift from John, organize her supplies, cook again, read out on the back porch, and then go to bed.

She'd stayed at Bobby's countless times, but the difference this time was the two extra house guests, and she wasn't' sure how to act around them.

Sam was polite, but quiet. He did a lot of research and talked a lot with Bobby. He was sort of easy to live with. Dean, on the other hand, was proving to be difficult.

It was obvious that didn't like her, or maybe he just didn't trust her. Hell, maybe it was both. The glare he sent her every now and then warned her not to approach him. He was quiet, in a completely different way than Sam, and he spent the majority of his time working on a totaled Impala.

Then there was Bobby.

"I've been doin' some thinking'" he said on a sigh as he walked further into the room. Bella looked up at him hesitantly at his tone.

"What…" she asked her lips pursed.

"I think maybe you should ride along with Dean and Sam for a hunt for two."

Bella wasn't sure if her eyes widened as comically as she pictured in her mind.

He couldn't be serious…

"I'm telling you girl, it would do you some good. I know John had a hard time teachin' ya, but he wasn't known for his patience. Maybe a time or two with them boys will help you, and with what you do, you could help them." He'd been trying in vain to talk her into going with Sam and Dean for a hunt or two, she immediately shot him down. "I don't like seein' you alone." he finished with a shrug as he adjusted his trucker hat just so.

Bella rolled her shoulders and continued checking her supplies.

"Bobby, its not gonna happen," she started with a huff.

She leafed through the rucksack. Adhesive bandages, dressings, butterfly closure strips, antiseptic, Aspirin, smelling salts, suture kit…

"You should listen to her Bobby," a deep voice put in from behind her. She turned her head quickly, her dark locks flying behind her, and looked in the door where Dean stood with his arms crossed. "We don't need any help, and we don't have time to teach some hunter chick wannabe." he finished and leaned against the door frame. Bella rolled her eyes at his tone.

"I don't want to help anyone and I don't need anyone's help," Bella gritted out between clenched teeth as she placed the bandages back in the bag with a bit more force than necessary.

"Sure thing, Sweetheart," she heard the sarcasm drip like acid from his lips. She fought back a blush of aggravation.

"Damned Idjit!" she heard Bobby curse "nobody 'round here can even listen to an old man," he muttered before stomping out of the room. Bella held in a small chuckle at Bobby's colorful vernacular and tried to ignore Dean's presence.

He didn't speak for a moment, and she didn't dare look at him. Finally when she'd had enough of the silence she spoke.

"Is there something else you needed?" she knew she sounded kind of snappish but his quiet brooding, and the intense fire she could feel from his eyes made her uncomfortable.

"Who's Ellen?"

This time, with real confusion, Bella looked up at him. "What?" she questioned.

"Who is Ellen?" he huffed again as if he were tired, and shifted where he stood. Bella was already shaking her head but before she could even open her mouth Sam appeared beside Dean.

"I found one of Dad's old phones. Took me a while, but I cracked his voicemail code. A woman named Ellen called him." he explained running a hand through his unruly dark hair. Bella was still confused as she looked between Dean and Sam.

"and since we didn't know about you either, we figured you'd know the other members of the 'Secrets-Johns-Hiding-Club'." he finished with a quirk of his lips.

Bella fought the urge to throw something very heavy at his seemingly very large head. Shoving her rucksack aside she stood up.

"Contrary to what you may believe, John didn't tell me everything." she did her best to burn him with her glares, obviously by the look on his face thought, it wasn't working. He just continued to stare at her. Bella sighed and ran a hand down her face. "No, I don't know who Ellen is." she finished before leaving the room.

It was an hour later and Bella was finishing the dishes while the boys packed up, she grabbed another dish and started to scrub again. Normal household chores seemed to never fail to take her back to another time. A happier time.

She could almost see Charlie sitting back in his recliner, beer in one hand and the remote in the other. She could almost hear the game that he had on a little too loud, and his occasional yell of protest.

Shaking the memories, Bella went back to the dishes and glance up out the window, the cool breeze that filtered through the few inches it'd been opened felt nice against her skin, the heavy smell of grass burned her nose.

The sound of footsteps interrupted her peace.

"Hey." she heard Sam greet as he opened the refrigerator door.

"Hey." she returned.

"You want some help?" he asked as he walked over to the sink. Bella was already shaking her head.

"You don't have to, I'm almost done.." she trailed off as he just rolled up his sleeves and gave her a tired smile.

"Don't worry about it." he told her as he began to rinse. After a beat he spoke again. "I know Dean can be a pain, he's just…" he shrugged his shoulder, "in a bad place." he finished. Bella's heart lurched.

"I know," she whispered, then in a stronger voice she continued, "he's not so much different than John though. Apparently the both have similar moods." she remembered with a faint grin. Sam chuckled and nodded his head.

"Don't I know it."

The next ten minutes went by in quiet only broken up by the sound of the faucet and the occasional splash of water. When they were on their last dish however, the sound of arguing broke through the kitchen.

"I'm telling you Bobby, It's not gonna happen!" they heard Dean voice loud and angry. She saw Sam glance at her discreetly. They could hear the voice getting closer, and Bobby spoke while entering the kitchen.

"Damnit Dean, can't you take your head outta' your ass long enough to listen for once." Bobby threw behind him as Dean followed him through the door.

"No Bobby. We don't bring amateurs along." Dean emphasized the word 'amateurs' by raising an eyebrow and looking a Bella.

"She knows how to handle her gun, and with you boys getting near death every job you take, you could use someone to fix you up. That's what she does. She's like the unofficial Doc of Hunters. She even makes house calls."

"Come on Dean.." Sam tried to put in.

"No, you know this wont end good. She'll end up getting killed, or getting one of us killed." She could tell Dean was frustrated by the fierce clench of jaw and the set of his mouth.

"Bobby, it probably isn't a good idea…" Bella started off again, only to be interrupted by Bobby.

"I don't ask much of you all, but I'm asking this time. Damnit, just do what I ask this once." he growled. "as a favor." he finished looking back and forth between Dean and Bella.

It was quiet for a moment as Bella warred with herself. She really didn't think tagging along with them would do any good at all, especially with the obvious hostility that Dean was showing towards her. She didn't want to be somewhere she wasn't wanted.

She'd done that before, and it didn't turn out well.

But this was Bobby asking, and he didn't really ever ask anything of her. How could she refuse him after everything he'd done for her.

"Fine," Dean huffed and walked closer to her. He stared at her, his green eyes blazing. "if you mess up just one time, your ass is back here at Bobby's."


The ride had gone some what smooth. Bella had sat in the back looking out the window as the trees seemed to fly by. She would even venture to say it was a nice ride, only interrupted by the small talk that Sam deemed necessary to make. Dean on the other hand was content with drumming his fingers against the wheel and humming Metallica.

It was just awkward.

Thanking God for small favors, it wasn't long before Dean, Sam and Bella pulled up to the Roadhouse Saloon in a rusty old van.

"This is humiliating. I feel like a friggin' soccer mom!" Dean grouched. Bella held back a sigh.

"I told you we could have taken my car." she added as an after thought. She had offered her cars service but Dean flat out refused.

"Yeah, cause I definitely wanna be seen in a Barbie car." he snorted and rolled his eyes as they exit the van. Bella rolled her eyes back in a mocking gesture.

"It's the only car Bobby had running." Sam reminded his brother and looks around him and they walk in. Its quiet and dark, and maybe for that reason alone Bella let her hand fly to her waistband where her gun is nestled. She felt the comforting weight and took a breath.

Walking further in, they saw a man passed out on the bar. Bella scrunched her face at the picture he made.

"Hey, buddy?" Sam asked and then looked back to Dean. "I'm guessing that isn't Ellen."

Bella wasn't use to being in places like this. Well, she wasn't use to being in them with out John or Bobby or someone she knew. Usually, she met at a motel or the side of the road when she had a job. She watched as Sam walked in a room in the back, and Dean walk down a few steps.

It was then a shadow caught her attention.

"Dean!" she yelped and pulled her gun, just as John taught her. Apparently Dean wasn't fast enough, as the barrel of a shot gun pressed against his back. Bella held her gun firmly at the blonde girl handling the weapon, but the girl didn't seem bothered by it.

"Oh god, please let that be a rifle." Bella heard Dean mutter and she rolled her eyes at his need for such remarks at a time like this.

The gun cocked, as if to back up her thoughts.

"No, I'm just real happy to see you. Don't move." Blondie retorted.

"How about you not moving." Bella put in as she moved forward a bit, her hand shook a bit. All the time she'd spent firing at cans and bottles was a whole lot different then pointing it at a living person. She saw Dean send her a look. A look she'd never seen before.

A wicked grin spread across his lips and he winked at her. Bella was so shocked that she almost dropped her gun.

"Not moving, copy that. You know, you should know something, miss. When you put a rifle on someone, you don't want to put it right against their back. Because it makes it real easy to do…" He stopped only to spin fluidly, grab the rifle and cock it. "That." he finished smugly.

In a move, Bella didn't see coming Blondie let her fist fly, landing a right hook to his nose. Bella moved forward again as Dean doubled over, clutching his face, this time her hand was a little more steady.

Blondie only lifted her eyebrow and points the gun back at Dean. Bella gnashed her teeth together in agitation.

"Need some help in here." Dean yelled for Sam. Bella's hands were clammy and she started to sweat. What happened if she had to actually shoot someone. She shifted in her old chucks and looked back and forth between Dean and Blondie.

"Sorry, Dean, I can't right now. I'm a... little tied up." Sam's voice broke in, causing Bella to whip her head in the direction of his voice. He walked slowly out of the back door with his hands on his head. Bella's grip on her gun tightened as she saw an older woman with a handgun pointed at Sam's head.

"Sam? Dean? Winchester?" The older woman asked, recognition lacing her tone. Bella's forehead scrunched but she didn't move.

"Yeah." Dean and Sam responded at the same time.

"Son of a bitch." she whispered. Bella's eyes kept flickering between them all, wondering what she was supposed to do. Sure she'd gone on jobs with John, but she'd gone to do research, and to patch him up afterwards. She stayed in the hotel room basically the whole time.

She was beginning to rethink Bobby's little favor.

"Mom, you know these guys?" Blondie asked the woman, her mother.

"Yeah, I think these are John Winchester's boys." the woman let out a deep hearty laugh and lowered her gun.

"Hey, I'm Ellen. This is my daughter Jo." Ellen stated with a nod to Blondie. Bella watched at Jo lowered her rifle, but Bella didn't lower her gun yet. Ellen noticed.

"And who's the girly with a water gun?" the older woman questioned with a tilt of her head.

"That's our tagalong, Bella." Dean informs Ellen. Bella narrowed her eyes at Dean, her face clearly telling him she didn't find him funny. Dean only motioned with his hand for her to put her gun away. Reluctantly she did so. "Why don't you go clean out the van a little, sweetheart?" Dean added when her gun was tucked back in the waistband of her pants. Bella's glare only intensified at that.

Did he really think he could just order her around.

By the returning quick glare he sent her, he obviously thought so.

Taking a deep breath and rolling her eyes, she stormed out the Roadhouse.

The sun was sweltering as Bella tied her flannel around her waist and threw up her hair in a messy bun.

Cleaning. Cleaning. This is what it has come to. Cleaning their stupid van, Bella thought. After this, no matter how much Bobby begs, it's not happening.

Throwing open the side of the van Bella grabbed a garbage bag from her pack and started clearing away the fast food wrappers, cans, and some stuff that looked like it may have once been food.

'Where is My Mind' by the Pixies blared from her pocket startling Bella dropping the bad and almost tripping over her feet. Luckily the van was there so she could steady herself. Ripping the phone from her pocket she answered with a hasty "What,"

"….I just wanted to make sure y'all ain't killed each other yet." Bobby spoke after a quick pause. Bella sat down in the open door of the van and sighed.

"Sorry Bobby, I'm just not in a good mood." she finished lamely.

"Alright, but other then your poor mood, is everything okay?" he questioned again. Bella attempted a small smile, even though he couldn't see it.

"Yeah, everything's fine." she lied and pushed back some stray hair that had fallen loose. Bobby's deep chuckle sounded in her ears.

"You're a liar, but I'll let it pass. You just call me if you need anything. Alright?"

"Alright, I will." she promised and looked towards the Roadhouse.

After saying their goodbyes, Bella hung up the phone and tilted her head toward the sky and closed her eyes.

"You've always gotta be on you're game Bella. But sometimes you gotta relax." she heard Johns voice so clearly in her head he may have been sitting next to her. Bella's chest constricted.

God, I wish he… I wish they were sitting with me. She thought as the pain lanced through her.

She had to stop! Bella internally screeched as she tossed the garbage bag down. She'd been through this before, she would get through it again. She would have to just grit and bare it.

Bella laid her head down against her knees and blew out a shaky breath.

It was just too soon.

Way to soon.

Deep in her thoughts, she didn't notice when the boys came back out. She didn't notice them until they started speaking to her.

"We've got a job," Sam told her with a small grimace. Bella nodded, let out a breath and reached for the bag while Sam moved back to get in the van.

"You alright?" Deans voice stopped her short. She turned her head and nodded her head. He look serious as usual. His eyes bright in the sun and his square jaw, for once not clenched.

"Yeah, I'm fine." she said. Dean nodded his head, shifted once, then moved to the drivers side. Bella tossed the bag in the dumpster then hoped in.

They'd been driving for a while, this time however there was no small talk, it was all about the case.

The windows were down, and the paper Sam had given her from some of the file to look over to make things go easier, rustled in the wind. Things were going okay.

That was until Dean found out what the job was…. He was a little skeptical.

"You've gotta be kidding me. A killer clown?" Dean deadpanned.

"Yeah. He left the daughter unharmed and killed the parents. Ripped them to pieces, actually." Sam huffed.

"And this family was at some carnival that night?" Dean asked sparing a glance at his brother.

"Right, right. The, uh, Cooper Carnivals." Sam replied looking back at some of the papers in his lap.

"So how do you know we're not dealing with some psycho carnie in a clown suit?" Dean asked. Bella shuddered. She seriously hoped things like that didn't really happen.

"Well, the cops have no viable leads, and all the employees were tearing down shop. Alibis all around. Plus this girl said she saw a clown vanish into thin air. Cops are saying trauma, of course." Sam explained.

"Well, I know what you're thinking, Sam. Why did it have to be clowns?" Dean laughed. Bella glanced up from her papers.

"You're afraid of clowns?" she asked. It seemed kind of ridiculous, after all the things he'd seen, he was afraid of a guy wearing makeup and bright clothes? Sam looked back at her, his cheeks going a bit ruddy.

"Oh, give me a break." he whined a bit, shooting his brother a look.

"You didn't think I'd remember, did you? I mean, come on, you still bust out crying whenever you see Ronald McDonald on the television." Dean gave a full bellied laugh at the memory, Bella fought back a smile.

"Well, at least I'm not afraid of flying." Sam pointed out stubbornly.

"Planes can crash." Bella put in with out thinking.

"See, planes crash!" Dean agreed with her.

"And apparently clowns kill!" Sam argued back. Bella couldn't help herself, she snorted a laugh at the brothers banter.

How different Dean seemed when you weren't on the end of one of his death glares.

"So these types of murders, they ever happen before?" Dean asked.

"Um, according to the file, 1981, the Bunker Brothers Circus, same M.O. It happened three times, three different locales." Bella read from the file on her lap. She glanced up at him, only to see him looking at Sam.

"It's weird, though, I'm mean if it is a spirit it's usually bound to a specific locale, you know, a house, or a town." Dean said, speaking to his brother.

"So how's this one moving from city to city, carnival to carnival?" Sam asked the question.

"Cursed object, maybe. Spirit attaches itself to something and the, uh, carnival carries it around with them." Dean put in with a shrug and drummed his fingers against the steering wheel once again.

"Paranormal scavenger hunt?" Bella questioned with a lift of her shoulder, and then leaned her head back against the seat.

"Well, this case was your idea, Sammy. By the way, why is that? You were awfully quick to jump on this job." Dean gave Sam a look out of the corner of his eye while he fiddled with the radio.

"So?" Sam shrugged, Bella knew the tone on voice someone had when they didn't want to elaborate.

"It's just... not like you, that's all. I thought you were hell-bent for leather on the demon hunt." Dean pushed.

"I don't know, I just think, this job, it's what Dad would have wanted us to do." Sam said after a minute.

"What Dad would have wanted?" Dean stated it as a question a weird look passing over his face.

Bella looked up at them.

"Yeah. So?" was Sam's brilliant response as he turned to face the window.

"Nothin'." was all Dean replied.

Oh, John, your boy's are a mess with you gone. Bella thought with a heavy heart as she continued to look out the window.


A/N: First of all, WOW! Thanks for all the favs, fallows, and reviews! You guys are Awesome! I mean you guys are really amazing! Next chapter has the action, and I'm working on it now, so it should be up today or tomorrow. For some reason I just can't get this fic out of my head. I already have some twists and surprises planned out and I can't wait to get to them! Oh, and sorry for any errors.

Hope ya'll enjoy!