Chapter 15
Bella's POV
When we go closer to Charlie's, a wave of recogniction hit me. I wanted to sob already. Sadly, I knew it was only going to get worse. I took a deep breath and I could smell Charlie, Renee, and Phil. The smell burned, but I deserved this pain I was causing them. We slowed to a walk as we reached the end of his driveway. I heard Phil say he was leaving to give them some privacy. Edward quickly pulled me into the trees, as Phil walked out of the front door. We were absolutely still until Phil had driven down the street.
"Bella, love? Are you sure about this? You shouldn't torment yourself like this." Edward said.
"I deserve this Edward, and that is besides the point anyways because I need to check on them." I said. I soon regreted my words though.
"I did this to you, Bella. I changed you. You did nothing wrong, all you did was jump off a cliff as a recreational activity." He whispered. I could hear the agonizing pain in his voice. He was beating himself up over changing me.
"No, Edward. I probably would have killed myself eventually, if you hadn't returned. I would have died after jumping off that cliff as well without you. I hold no grudges against you, and infact, that was one of the best days of my life." I said. "I needed to hear your voice, that is why I jumped off the cliff. If I was doing anything irresponsible, I could hear you. Sooner or later, I would have put myself on the path of death to hear you anyway. Without you, I would've died. How many times am I going to have to explain this to you?"
"You...you were doing things like that to hear my voice?" He stammered.
"Yes. Now please Edward, can we move past this? It will not help you to feel this way all over the time, and it brings me down as well." I asked expectantly.
"Alright, love. I can try, but I cannot promise results." He said sweetly.
I began to walk towards the side of the house, so I could look in the living room window. I creeped up to the window, extremely quiet. No one can see me, I reminded myself. As I looked in, I wanted to fall to shreds, but I was frozen in pain. I saw Charlie and Renee, huddled up in each others arms. Renee seemed to be helping Charlie, more than he was helping her. Charlie's face was full of pain. My, so called "death", had almost driven him mad. I felt sick. His gasps of breath, in between shouts for me, were shocking. His eyes were pouring and pouring with tears. Streaming down and soaking Renee's shirt. She was crying too, but she was handling the loss, so much better than him. No wonder Phil left, he must have felt stupid being the odd one out.
"She is alright, Charlie. She is in a better place now." Renee just kept repeating that over and over to Charlie.
I shrunk to the ground. I felt miserable. I was enjoying my new family and home, while my old one was in ripping pain over the loss of me. I was disgusted with myself. How could I do this to Charlie? I am so selfish. I need Edward, and I don't care who gets hurt because of it. Stupid cliff! Edward would be with me now, in my room at Charlie's, if I hadn't have jumped. Charlie would be happy too. I began to sob, I need to get away from here so that they don't hear me. I ran into the trees about a mile or so back. I shrank to the ground in a ball. I could hear Edward running to find me.
"Bella, Bella, Bella." He said slowly as he pulled me into his arms.
We didn't speak again after that. I just sobbed into his chest until dawn the next day. Poor Edward shouldn't have to suffer this. He felt bad enough already. Morning brought a little more acceptance of the pain. I would always have this rip in my heart, I could deal with it, just as long as Charlie and Renee heal. I hope Renee stays a while, to help Charlie. She has Phil, but he has no one. I will have to check up on Charlie in a month or two.
"Good morning." I whispered to Edward.
He waited for it to start again.
"I am sorry you had to see that Edward. I am alright, for now." I said. "I love you."
He smiled, it was a forced one though.
"I love you too. How are you?" He asked.
"I am... okay. I won't completely heal, but I just need time to adjust. I just hope that Charlie will be okay." I half-smiled.
"Can we go back to the house, because I am in need of a hot shower?" I asked as sweet as I can be.
"Of course, my love." He answered. "But can I please carry you?"
"Why? I can keep up with you now." I questioned. "Or am I too slow for you?"
"No no. You are just as fast, but I want to carry you for old times sake." He smiled.
"Alright. I don't see why not." I said.
He lifted me up into his arms, and I relaxed. My sweet, Edward. Always such a gentleman.
We got home in about an hour. Carlisle greeted us at the front door.
"Bella, I am sorry to have to tell you this, with the night you have probably just had," Carlisle said sadly. "But Aro has requested that we pay him a visit. We recieved a letter this morning."
Edward growled.
