Diebenkorn's Advice
She didn't feel right. The kids had the flu so as her usual lack of luck suggested; she must've gotten it too. Overly tired, shortness of breath, and nausea. Plenty of that as well as repulsion against chicken noodle soup. Soup was practically the only meal served to Halley, Aaron, Gil, and herself. Her breathing quickened. She stopped drying the dishes midstream. With both hands set firmly on the countertop, Sara took some deep breaths. It was then hands were around her waist. She turned to see Gil's worried eyes set only on her.
"Honey, what's wrong?"
Her breathing quickened again. She shrugged her shoulders and looked around the kitchen. "I...don't know. I...don't...feel good." Sara almost fell to the floor, but her husband's arms caught her.
"Whoa, you're ok. I got you. Let's have you sit down."
"What's wrong with me?" Sara put a hand to her head and closed her eyes.
Gil took her free hand. "You're probably sick with the flu. Easier to spread with more people..."
Sara laughed. "Yup. There's no luck in this house." That was an understatement.
"Sara?" Gil stood up as Sara did. She covered her mouth and bolted out of the room. "Sara!"
After throwing up the chicken soup they had for lunch, Sara continued dry heaving. Her head barely came up for air, she was so exhausted. Gil felt terrible. "Have you drank anything today? Ate anything other than soup?" With head still in toilet, Sara shook her head no. "That's not good, honey. You need to keep yourself healthy otherwise who will take care of the kids?" He heard Sara mumble something in response. "What, honey?"
It took all her might to sit up. "I said men are useless."
Gil smiled. "I guess that's true. We wouldn't be able to function without you. And we would've failed miserably without you here for this flu bug." He kissed her head. "You know I'm kidding. We love you. And without you there's no family. I'll call and make you an appointment. You might need antibiotics and an IV. You're as pale as a ghost!"
"So from what you've told me, I've figured out what's wrong with you, Sara."
Sara looked at Gil and blew out a breath. "What's going on, Doc?" Gil rubbed his beard as he asked the question.
"Do you want me to say it or count to three—"
"Do it!" Sara blurted out. "I'm sorry. I feel horrible and would just like to know what's going on so I can get better. We have two kids at home."
Dr. Luka held up her hand. "I guess it's a good thing you're sitting down." The tension in the air couldn't be thicker. "Sara, from my observations you're 6 weeks along and extremely dehydrated. I'll need to admit you to—"
"Wait!" Sara yelled. Her eyes grew wide and she turned to Gil before looking at the doctor. "I'm pregnant? I'm in my late forties! We didn't plan for this. Oh boy." Sara placed her head in her hands and fought the tears. "It's impractical. Anyone over 40 is high risk. I'm old—"
"Honey, relax."
"Aren't you glad you were sitting down?" Dr. Luka mused. She quickly cleared her throat."There's no need to worry, Sara. Plenty of women have babies over 40. It's become a sort of trend recently." Sara's eyebrows relaxed, wheels turned as she listened to her doctor. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but as I was saying you're dehydrated and malnourished. Since you're in the beginning stages it's crucial you're as healthy as possible which is why I need to admit you. Don't freak! It's better to be safe rather than sorry anyway."
Dr. Luka patted Sara's shoulder and gave a reassuring smile to Gil. "Gil, Sara, I know this was the last thing on your to-do list but it's happening. I'll be here every step of the way, just like I was for your prior pregnancies. Don't worry. Let it sink in. I'll see you in a month."
Gil thanked the doctor and turned to Sara. "See, honey, everything will be fine. Plenty of other women go through this—" He knelt and saw his wife was crying. She was looking straight ahead, facing the window. Aside from a few ragged breaths, her tears silently fell.
"Sara." Gil knelt before her and cupped her hands in his. "I know how you feel. This was unexpected and it's scary, I will admit that, but Dr. Luka knows what she's talking about. Take a deep breath." Sara did. "You need to calm your body. Stress isn't good."
"See." Sara sniffled. "I'm scared regardless of all this reassurance. I'm already above my normal stress level. This is what terrifies me...unplanned, high risk pregnancy. All the focus will be here." She placed a hand on her belly. "We have two kids at home, Gil. You teach full-time and I work part-time—"
Gil shushed her and put a finger to her lips. With help from the exam table, Gil stood and squeezed Sara. "You're worried about your body? Look at me! I look old to be a grandparent. And these knees, oh boy these knees are going..."
"And you're supposed to be making me feel better?"
"Yes, you're a spring chicken compared to this old geezer!"
"I love you," Sara laughed.
The Grissom's checked in at Desert Palm. Dr. Luka called ahead with a "heads up" so they had no trouble getting a room fairly quickly. As per instruction, Sara was put on an IV and checked with a sonogram machine. Everything looked perfect. This news excited Sara and appeared to put her at ease. Her hands lay on her abdomen. She was still in awe, but coming to terms there was a baby growing inside her. The technician confirmed it. About 6 weeks along. Sara closed her eyes while continuing to stroke her stomach. Oblivious to the figure standing in the doorway, her attention was drawn to the task at hand.
"Knock, knock."'A booming voice said.
Startled, Sara's head whipped up and removed her hands from her stomach and placed them along the side of the bed. The IV was in her left arm closest to the door. "You scared me, boss!"
"I'm sorry. May I?" He gestured, extending his arm into the room.
"By all means, of course." Sara smiled and sat up.
"No, no don't move because of me. You should stay where you're most comfortable." He couldn't help but glance at her stomach which she failed to realize was being protected by her hands.
Damn it. "Who blabbed? It had to be Gil..."
"Yes, I'm sorry. He felt he had to tell me. It was kind of obvious when he said it wasn't the flu your kids had."
Sara "ah-ha-ed" with a nod of her head. "Well, you are my boss. After calling out the past week the latest Grissom household gossip was bound to get out," she chuckled.
"Yup, definitely. Plus, with four kids I can tell a protective mother-to-be when I see one."
"Oh, right. I guess after two pregnancies I'm still not used to that. The gestures and habits you form never leave."
D.B. smiled. "It's ok to be scared."
A frown formed on Sara's face. Her lip quivered and she avoided his gaze. "That obvious, huh?" She tried jokingly.
"Pretty big news. Especially when you least expected it."
"Huge," Sara said. "Felt like a punch in the face. I must've looked so stupid. I'm sure Gil had that "deer caught in headlights" look.
Both Sara and DB laughed.
More silent tears made their way down Sara's cheeks onto the hospital gown she was wearing. "Hey." DB sat next to Sara. "There's no need for this." He wiped her wet face. "I always tell my kiddies. Tears should only be for sad times, unless it's an overly happy time, but you don't look like that, my dear."
Sara sniffed and looked at her boss. What a sweet guy. "Good advice." she blew out a breath. "It's just...I'm neat and orderly. And smart. This baby presents such a high risk for health and gosh I sound selfish but he or she will take away from Hal and Aaron. Timing just sucked. Maybe a couple of years earlier I would say yes, but now—"
"It's a blessing. An unexpected blessing, but nonetheless a blessing."
"Really?" Sara blushed. "I'm sorry that came out wrong. It's just, after all that's happened in my life. Starting with my childhood and continuing to today, I've had the worst luck. Our CSI family, Gil and the kids are the exception, but there are so many possibilities of complication, I guess I'm an overly practical person, but I don't want this baby or my kids to suffer." She stopped and saw DB had his eyes glued to her.
"Sara, you need to let go of the past and stick with the present. Thinking of the what-ifs is not how you should live life. I know...during that case you mentioned your mother's health condition, but you will make sure your kids are safe. Unfortunately for your mom, your household was probably different though she did her best. You have Gil and me and the whole team, plus your growing kids. You are protected. You have overcome your past. Nothing like that, whatever it is, will happen." More tears came, but they were happy ones. "See, happy occasion means happy tears!" DB was so wrapped up in the moment he almost forgot—
"Your surprise!" He smacked himself in the forehead.
"What?" Sara asked in confusion.
"Here we are." He picked up a bag and flicked it. "Happy "find-out -your-expecting day!"
A Pandora bag.
Sara revealed a silver house charm with a roof and windows.
"Thanks, Russell. That was a speedy gift!" Careful of the IV, the two hugged one another.
"I had some time to kill before shift. I'll always be here for you," DB whispered in her ear. "And this little guy, too." He gave a gentle pat to her stomach and felt her pull away.
"Oh, so you think it's a boy?"
"Yes ma'am I do."
Sara gave a puzzled look.
"Boss's intuition."
