MP ch4a
A/n: An early little treat since RL will keep me and Bnjwl away tomorrow.
Welcome back, my lovelies. And, welcome to all the new readers! We are glad to have you all here, reading our little sordid tale!
RL hasn't allowed me much time to get all my review replies done, still BUT please know that we both love and read every single one. I will try harder to reply, though!
Now, this chapter jumps backwards in time, to before the last chapter, actually. Hopefully, if you were confused or uncertain about why they were going through what they were, this will clear it up.
Tissue Warning….might as well keep a box nearby for the next several chapters, actually;)
Much love and adoration to my collab partner, Bnjwl. Without her, I would truly be incomplete. She is an amazing friend, sister and mentor. I love her to pieces. Always.
Huge thanks to our beta, EdwardsEternal and our pre-readers, lvtwilight09, mamadog93 and ttharman.
EPOV
I knew that there would come a time when I would have to make a choice.
I just didn't expect it to come so soon or with such heaviness.
My parents were open to me taking either one, although, I knew which choice they preferred, especially my mother. They held no expectations of me either way. As long as I was happy and thriving, they would support me.
I was scared to tell Bella, particularly because to her there simply was no choice. She would never understand my need to weigh the options and make a decision. But there was a huge difference between our lives, I did have a choice. My parents made their preferences known to me but they never pushed them on me, like Renee did to Bella. I was free to choose which ever one I wanted. This choice was mine to make. Renee has never given her any options. Bella's choices are made for her, without regard to her own wants, needs or feelings on the subject. That's why I knew that my Princess would never understand my need to evaluate all the pro's and con's that lay before me.
Time was running out and I needed to talk to her, soon. Things had been so good between us since just before Thanksgiving, we were back to being the Princess and the Knight, lost in our own little world of love and friendship. I was scared to break that bubble but, we return to school on Monday, something that both of us dreaded for various reasons.
Bella waited to hear back from the three dance troupes that she applied for summer internships with as well as she was still waiting to hear about the placement for the Spring semester's troupe. She's hoped to have made the Prima troupe as a Junior, something that is very rare but with her talent and drive it shouldn't surprise anyone if she made it.
I secretly hoped she didn't. It wasn't that I didn't want her to succeed but I didn't want to have to deal with further restrictions from Renee. It would mean even more nights of lock down for rehearsals and practice for Bella, and more time for Renee to keep the two of us apart. She would only let me have time with my Princess when she needed me behind the piano in the studio to allow Bella to practice more naturally with live music.
In those moments, Renee needed me and treated me like a Prince, but the moment she was done with me, I was shooed out like the hired help.
If she only knew about the nights that Bella and I spent wrapped up under the covers, we talked, kissed, and planned our future. Was it wrong of me that I prayed she never found out, because if she ever did then she would certainly find a way to keep me away from Bella permanently?
So, here I am on a Sunday night at precisely five after ten, sneaking into Bella's bedroom through the window, like I had been doing for almost eight years. Only, tonight I feel some trepidation because I know that I have to tell Bella about both offers that I've received.
I tap on the glass in our little signal and wait as I hear her slide along the carpet to open the window. We have this down to an art form to keep Renee from finding us out, with only socks on, sliding along the carpet to keep it quiet, and no sounds to be heard downstairs. Yeah, it's kind of silly but when we were eight years old, this was what we came up with and neither of us had thought about it enough to change the rules.
It's one of the things I love about my Princess, we can be silly and have stupid rules and it makes us both happy.
Bella's feet are bound tight with mesh compression bandages tonight, so I know it must have been a bad day for her.
"You okay, Princess?" I asked as I sat down Indian style on her bed and placed her worn and overworked feet and calves in my lap to give them a decent rub down.
She grimaced before giving me a half smile. "I'm still having a little trouble on the turn so Renee had me practice it one hundred times in a row."
I managed to hold the anger just inside, but it built up, and waited patiently for the day when I could finally tell Renee Swan what an evil, maniacal bitch she was for abusing her only child the way that she did in the name of living her own dreams out through her daughter. I hated Renee.
Bella knew how I felt, but we never, ever talked about it. She could vent to me about it, but it did no good for me to dwell on that anger, as Bella pointed out to me, since neither of us are in a position to change it or make it any different. So, I listened and stewed silently while I was with my Princess. But later, when I got home, I knew that I would pound out my anger in the form of lyrics and melodies on my keyboard.
"Does that feel better?" I rubbed my fingers gently over her swollen and bruised feet and heels before carefully using my hands to massage her lithe calve muscles.
"Mmmmmhmmm," She responded as she laid back and closed her eyes.
I knew that I had to just get it over with so I drew in a deep breath and said, "Princess, I need to talk to you about something."
Her eyes immediately flew open and she frowned at me. "Is this a good talk or a bad talk?"
"Well, it could go either way; I suppose...I, um, need to share some news with you." I scrunched my face up as she pulled her legs from lap and sat up facing me in a mirroring position.
"News? Like, acceptance and offer type news?" She inquired, a little fearful and a little excited.
I nodded my head as I reached into the left pocket of my hoodie and pulled out the Symphony offer and handed it to her. She pulled the letter from the envelope and did a small jump and silent scream on the bed. She rose up on her knees, wrapped her arms around me in a hug and smothered my face with kisses and small giggles.
I smiled and put my hands on her hips to hold her steady before she finally stilled and sat back on her heels.
"Wait a minute, you said this could go either way, I would never consider this part to be bad news, so where's the rest?" Her eyes now held ire and her arms folded across her chest as I slowly reached into my right pocket and removed the envelope from Maverick Elite Studios. My hand visibly shook as I handed it to her.
"What the fuck is this, Knight? You didn't tell me you applied for his." She spat out as she read through the offer.
"I didn't exactly 'apply' for that, Princess. The agent scouted us at a gig one night, approached us, handed us his card and then a few months later, he showed up on my parent's doorstep with the rest of the band and this offer. Since all the other guys are of legal age they can sign for themselves but my parents have to sign off on the contract and agree to let me go." She narrowed her eyes at me as a fire burned deep within them. I chose to ignore her anger and continue before she got to the point where she shut me out completely. "Should I choose to take the offer?" I gulped as she slowly placed both pieces of paper back in each envelope and handed them back to me.
I sat there and waited for her to say something while a myriad of emotions flew across her face and behind her eyes.
"How long have you known?" She finally spoke with venom on her tongue.
"Since two days before Thanksgiving." I replied, because I knew why she asked. She wanted to know when the record executive showed up on my doorstep and why now all this time later I'm finally telling her about it.
"So, you've made your choice?" She sniped at me.
"No. Yes. Maybe?" I nervously ran a hand through my hair as I watched her get up off the bed.
Fuck, she's really pissed if she's getting off the bed.
"Which one do you want the most?" She asked with her hands on her hips.
"That's not a fair question, Princess." I all but whined as I turned to get off the bed but she held out a hand to stop my movements.
"No, you see, dear Knight, it is a very fair question. One of them leads you to me and a small taste of some freedom for us. While the other leads you to the big, open world full of all the freedom you can handle."
She walked over to stand directly between my legs, put her hands on my shoulders and looked down at me with nothing but fear on her face. In a whisper I barely heard she spoke, "Which do you choose?"
"Princess," I whispered and wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to me, burying my head in her chest as I the tears had wet her cheeks. I pulled back and looked up at her.
"You aren't choosing me." She simply said.
"Don't think of it that way. That's not the way I see it. Please, Princess...Bella...that's not it at all." I begged for her to listen to me, to try and understand.
"No, Edward, you listen. If you choose the band, then you can't choose me." Her voice was angry. She would never forgive me for this decision. "The band is an all or nothing choice, that's just the way it is."
"Bella." I said with a soft sigh as I sat up straight and looked at her. "It's not that simple."
She flicked her fingers across her face to swipe her tears away. "It is that simple. If you choose the symphony you'll only be a few minutes away from me. Any free time we have we can spend together, act like the young teenagers in love that we are." Bella looked at me as her eyes pled with me to understand her point of view.
I ran a hand through my hair and lay back on the bed.
"Bella, do you really think Renee will ever loosen her hold on you just because you're in Europe?" I asked, as my own anger rose up. We clearly both had chosen paths in front of us, and neither of them would ever actually allow for us to be together like a normal couple of teenagers.
"She can't be there with me the whole summer, Edward. You know that was one of the reasons I chose Europe, in fact it was my first choice." Bella snapped at me and moved to sit with her back against the headboard.
I sat up and turned to face her, "The symphony offer does not offer me the chance to expand my own career. However, the other offer, with the band, does. I'd be a fool not to explore that option, Bella." I watched her face as it morphed from rage to sadness and then went blank.
"So you've made your choice," was her reply, as her eyes bore into mine.
"Not officially." I whispered.
"How long 'til you leave?" A tear fell from her eye as she spoke.
"Not until March, April at the latest." I slowly reached across the bed for her hands. She allowed me to intertwine our fingers as I watched my own actions before my eyes roamed up to meet hers.
"Bella, we're both sixteen years old with careers that most adults would kill for the chance to have. We aren't typical teenagers except when we are together. The world has greater expectations of us and unfortunately we won't be able to meet those expectations unless we each take the paths laid before us." We had both realized long ago that the issues that we faced weren't like those of the other kids that we started grade school with.
The talents that Bella and I possessed weren't average. We were each born with unique qualities that were sought after by world renowned entities of both our professions.
"I want to be a crazy in love teenage fool though, Knight. I want to act silly and get dressed up for our first official date. I want to go to prom and lose my virginity. I just want us to be together in this whole fucked up mess of our lives." Bella's hands twirled around mine as she talked and tears ran down her face at the loss of the carefree notions that she voiced.
"Bella, I want those things too, baby, but, we both know that's not in the cards for us." I reminded her and shadowed her sadness with my own regret; I certainly regretted that I would not have those things with her.
"I don't know how to live without you." She confessed.
I pulled her into my arms and laid us both down.
"I know, Princess, because I feel the same way about you. You are both my best friend and my girlfriend. It's been you and me for all our lives." I said as I moved her hair off her face and cupped her cheeks.
"I simply don't know how to live without you, either." I said before I gave her a soft kiss.
Bella and I had kissed before, nothing heavy and never with tongue. We had cuddled a lot and played around with each other. We never allowed anything to turn sexual between us, I think out of fear, to be honest.
Fear that we loved each other too much to stop once we experienced the passion between us. Because we really were too young physically to be as wise and old-souled mentally as we both were. Some things we wanted to leave for the future when we were free of the reigns of the world.
"I love you, Knight." Her whispered words filled my soul with a depth that no one would ever be able to replace.
"I love you, too Princess." I replied as I kissed her forehead and hoped that we made it through what lay ahead for both of us.
A/n: So, this is why the turmoil for our love birds began...it was so simple...yet so complicated!
See ya on thursday!
kyla
