From the desk of bnjwl:

A/N: Once again you all have blown us away, we can't say thank you enough! We love and appreciate every single one of you, for all you do for us! Mad love to the team that makes us look good~Edwards Eternal, Mamadog93, and lvtwilight09. You all really owe them a big round of applause cause kyla and I together are one big mess and these ladies make it readable, xxoo to each of them!

More big girl pantie warnings...Twinerdforlife has just put on some men's boxer briefs and called it a day...that might help you all as well. These two love each other and want to be together, but life just doesn't cooperate with them. And it won't for awhile, just so you know. Now, don't get either of us wrong, we are both HEA kinda girls and there will be one here, we promise!

Now get on down there and read...

Bella

I had practiced that stupid turn for what felt like a million times. Always under Renee's watchful eye. She really did know what she was doing and heaven knows she had enough experience under her belt to teach, so it made sense that I listened to her when she offered advice. I had it nailed, could do it with my eyes closed, but now my poor feet would pay the price of my, rather Renee's, persistence.

I ran up and took a hot shower. I made sure to use the shampoo that Edward loved and waited for him to show up. Normally I would do homework but we were still on Christmas break so I had none to do. I grabbed a book and began to read it from the point where it fell open. It didn't matter where that was because I had read King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table a million times. Not counting the times when Edward and I read it together. We loved that book!

Right on schedule, Edward tapped on my window and I did the half-scoot, half-slide across the floor in my socks. I opened the window and Edward slid in like a cat burglar that was about to make off with a bundle of cash from the vault. I guess it shouldn't surprise me at all; he had been doing that exact move for a little over eight years now. You would think that practice would make perfection by this point in time. Besides, Edward was good at everything so it was only natural that he would be good at scaling walls and climbing in windows as well.

His long legs unfolded and dropped down onto my side of the window sill. I couldn't help but marvel at the grace and beauty that was captured in his every move. He made the simplest moves look so effortless and graceful. He should have been a dancer, what a pair we would have made. I bet that would have pissed Renee off to the extreme to know that there was no way she could keep us apart if he was a dancer as well. I gave a small snicker at that thought.

Edward turned and lifted one eyebrow in question to me. I waved my hand to dismiss him but he grabbed my hand and placed a small kiss right in the middle of my palm. Each and every time he kissed me, my body begged for more. I wanted it all with him. I knew that we were too young to worry about going all the way but it still didn't stop my body from wanting it.

My arm was tugged and he pulled me in closer to his body. My breath stuttered and he smirked at me. I had told him time and again what he did to me. He laughed when I told him that I called it 'dazzling me'. He shrugged it off but it happened all the time. Every time we're together in fact.

I was always amazed at the fact that this handsome creature with all of his talent had decided to grace me with his friendship. In fact for the last year or so even more than a friendship. I knew that Edward called me his girlfriend, but I worried that it was just the 'next step' for him. I knew he had more potential and never needed me so I was scared to define it or gave us a name. I just simply said 'more' in my head. He placed a small kiss on my cheek and I wanted to pout. But I knew that all the real kissing would take place later tonight after Renee and Charlie went to bed. It always did.

His smile told me of the promise of more to come, just like I had suspected, so I pulled away when he released my face from his grip.

We settled down on the floor at the foot of my bed. It was away from the door and was easy enough for Edward to scoot under the bed if Renee came up to talk to me. She very rarely did but Edward had to do the death crawl once or twice in his lifetime of being in my room. We laugh about it now but at the time both of us thought we were caught for sure.

He pushed the book away and turned to face me. This was his signal for we need to talk. I panicked slightly and then forced myself to relax. I knew that it was nothing major or else I would have been able to see it in his demeanor. I just had to be patient and wait for him to spill it.

See that was the way Edward was. He over analyzed everything. He always had. I never had difficulty trusting his judgment about things because I knew that he never made them lightly. Every single decision was put through enough scrutiny and thought that you would think they were all a life or death situation. It was just the way that Edward approached things. He never took things lightly.

He realized that my feet were bandaged and asked me about them. I told him about Renee's persistence as he wrapped his very skilled hands around my feet and began to message them. It felt like heaven as he worked the tired, sore muscles. I almost wanted to cry at the tenderness and sincerity that he exuded as he massaged them. It astounded me the way that Edward always knew exactly what I needed. I guess all our years of friendship had paid off for us. We knew each other better than we knew ourselves. Edward seemed to take it one step further. His intuition was so clear that at times you would swear that he could read minds. Well mine at least.

We spent the next hour or so tickling, teasing and joking around. I made him tell me about his day and how band practice went. He had me show him a few new sections of choreography that we learned while he watched me. He always had time to learn every single piece of music to the production that I danced to, no matter how many there were. And he always made time to come to watch me dance at least once. It was more than I could say for myself. I guess that was the difference between my parents and his. His parents were happy to allow Edward to be his own person, mine…well it was just Renee. She was so hell bent on making me all she never became that she forgot to ask what I wanted.

I love Ed and Liz because their home was warm and loving, never any judgment was placed, even when the mistake was a huge one. It was discussed and then a fair punishment was established. It was the polar opposite to my house.

It's funny how I disassociate my father in all of this. I guess Charlie is a lot like me. He figures that I am not being hurt in any way, so he has no real need to get involved. To his credit I always tell him how much I want this. And it really is what I want; I just want some freedom to live a normal teenaged life at the same time. That is the part that Renee doesn't understand. It was the way she was raised and she loved every single minute, so she didn't see my side of things. I know that she loved me, without a doubt she loved me. She had just lost sight of her compassion in her drive to make me the best.

I realized that I had zoned out when Edward's hands wrapped around my neck and pulled me towards him so that his lips could touch mine.

"Hey, where'd you go?" He asked after his mouth grazed mine. I sighed and relaxed even further. This was the time of the day that I lived for. As much as I loved ballet and all it brought me, it was nothing compared to the way I felt when I was with Edward. I know that I was a little standoffish without him. I almost closed down and retreated into myself. I just saw no point in letting the other dancers and my mother see the real me. The other dancers will just use it against me and hurt me with my own life. And with Renee…well there was no need to show her me. She saw what she wanted and I would again get hurt by her lack of concern about what I really wanted.

So I lived two lives. One during my daytime hours when I was around all the other people in my life and one after ten at night when Edward snuck through the window to talk with me for a few hours. Only one was the real me, the only time I felt comfortable enough to let my guard down and really be myself. I loved Edward for the fact that he cared enough to let me relax enough to do that. Not only that but he protected me, it was almost as if I were a turtle that shed its shell. It is soft and vulnerable, so he protects me so that no one else can hurt me while I am in that state.

He kissed me a few more times and I relished in his love. I enjoyed being close to him so I snuggled in even further. When his body shifted I knew immediately that he was ready to talk. So I moved away slightly and waited. His hands picked up my feet again and began to massage again.

"Princess, I need to talk to you about something." His voice had a slight tenseness to it so it scared me.

"Is this a good talk or a bad talk?" I prepared for the worse and hoped for the best. I pulled my legs away from him so that I could get some distance, I knew that I would not be able to concentrate if he touched me and I knew I needed to concentrate when he spoke to me tonight. When he reached for his pocket and pulled out a letter to hand over to me, I wasn't sure if this should make me relax further or tense up more.

I opened it and recognized the letterhead immediately so my eyes scanned the letter and it took all of me to stop the whoop that wanted to escape my mouth. I couldn't help but show him how proud of him I was. This was exactly what I had dreamed of earlier, this was our chance to be together and there was nothing Renee could do about it. He would have every right to be there just as I would. I couldn't imagine a better outcome to our lives than this. I kissed his face and tried my best to hold in the giggles all at the same time.

All at once I realized that he said this could go either way, so I expressed that thought as a question. He pulled another letter from his other pocket and my heart sunk. He had two offers. I read that letter and almost screamed. I could see all of my dreams going down the drain.

I knew that Edward loved all aspects of his music but what teenager wanted to spend his time playing classical music to a bunch of stuffed shirts each and every night. He wanted to rock his head with his long Mohawk and eyeliner. He wanted a crowd where his piercings and tattoo's fit in, where he could play his music and not be condemned for it. The tears popped up in my eyes and I blinked to hold them at bay. I knew without a doubt which offer he would take. It made the most sense for him and only because I had more selfish motives did it clash with my ideals for him.

We argued back and forth about him applying for this and he countered with the fact that the scout came to them, they didn't ask for this. It should have been an honor that a band as young as Rage had an honest to goodness talent scout interested in them. Offering them a contract to tour, it should have been an honor but to me it wasn't. It was a curse.

It was a few long, tense moments before I finally spoke. "So, you've made your choice then?" I wanted it to come out softer than it actually did. I guess that was the hurt showing.

His face paled and he struggled to answer me, I finally saw how conflicted he was. "No…yes…maybe?" His last word came out as a question. He ran a hand through his hair, a clear sign of his nervousness and I had to move. I had to find a way to beg him not to take the tour, to not choose the option that would pull us apart even further. I paced and watched his face as his emotions changed with each second.

"Which one do you want the most?" It was a stupid question but I had to know. I had to hear him say this for himself. I couldn't assume here.

"That's not a fair question, Princess." He wanted both, I could see it, and he wanted the option that would allow him to play his music his way but yet stay with me at the same time. Well that wasn't possible.

"No, you see, dear Knight, it is a very fair question. One of them leads you to me and a small taste of some freedom for us. While the other leads you to the big, open world full of all of the freedom you can handle." I spat at him. I knew it was more than unfair to punish him for something he hadn't even done yet but I couldn't help it. I saw his future all laid out for him if he took the tour. It would contain all the girls, booze, and drugs he wanted. It would include late nights with no one there to quell the loneliness, so he would cure it with whoever was around. It was heartbreaking. So being the stupid, teenage girl that I was, I wanted to hurt him just the same.

He tried to appease me, "Princess." I stopped his talk as soon as he began.

"You aren't choosing me." I stated simply. Because that is what it came down to. I should have thought this through and put myself in his situation but I couldn't. My emotions didn't give a shit about things like fairness and what he wanted. We only cared for ourselves. We cared that the one person in life that had never let me down, was now letting me down. He was my one. He was the person that I went to in order for it to all be made better. He was the one that I could call on no matter what and now he wanted me to be okay with the fact that he would no longer be there. He would be half way around the world from me, with his band mates, his groupies and his Lord knows what else he would have.

He pleaded and I yelled back. I should have been afraid that Renee and Charlie would hear me but I just didn't care. My world was falling apart. I couldn't have cared less right now, if they heard or knew.

Edward tried to plead and use the excuse that Renee would never allow us to be together no matter his position and part of me wanted to listen and calm down. But I couldn't. He tried to explain that the symphony option wouldn't allow him to expand his career and it sounded reasonable but I wanted no part of it. I wanted him and would accept nothing less than that option.

He spoke and spoke until I saw the hopelessness of either situation. It made my heart break a little further. He was right, we were sixteen year olds with no choice but to follow our paths until we were adults and could choose for ourselves. Well he could, I couldn't.

I said the only thing I knew to say after all of our talking. "I don't know how to live without you." He had no idea how accurate that statement actually was. I was terrified.

My heart sung when he responded, "I simply do not know how to live without you either." At least I was not alone in this. He was here with me.

"I love you, Knight."

"I love you too, Princess." He kissed my forehead and I blinked furiously to quell the tears that remained. This time I felt them because of the love and loss, not the anger.

A/n: Sighs...young love...so tormented...and tortured in their feelings, responsibilities...hang in there...next chapter is one of my favorites!

See ya monday!

Kyla