Baby Girl
Morgan and Garcia
Chapter Eleven
April 2002
After signing the birth certificate Derek looked at Penelope. "There's just one thing that bothers me."
"Hmmm, what's that?"
"When I called your cell...it was disconnected. I thought we had a deal?"
"I didn't have much choice in losing that phone. The Feds said I had to cut all contact with my old life and that meant giving up that phone number too."
"I figured as much after you said you'd been arrested." He rubbed his chin
"I kept that number as long as I could. Every day I was hoping you'd call and say your case was over. The frustration I went through when every phone call never turned out to be you became maddening after a while."
"I'm sorry for that. I came to hate everything about that case. And knowing it cost me time with my first born...seeing her birth...I regret taking that assignment more than you'll ever know."
"Lets just put it into yesterday, Derek."
"There's one more thing. I know you said you didn't call my Mom because you didn't want to look like a one night stand of mine that was bothering her but...I just wish you would have left a new phone number with her. How did you expect me to find you?"
"I wanted to call her. I picked up the phone so many times. But I would imagine her thinking that I'm just another fling of yours and...I just couldn't do it. I couldn't stand the thought of your mother believing that about me. When she asked how long we knew each other and found out it was just a few days...I just felt like she would judge me and I couldn't handle that. I did plan to call her though or one of your sisters one day. I was just working up the guts to do it. I didn't think it was necessary until your case was over."
"And how were you to know when that was?"
"Every once in a while I'd check your credit cards to see if they were active again and I figured when they became active again then your case was over. Last time I checked was January."
"I was home but I was staying with my Ma. And two weeks into the month I went to the academy."
"I would have checked again, Derek. I did not just give up. It was just hard. I couldn't check everyday because the disappointment was too overwhelming. I had to focus on living, not on looking into the past for you."
"I just need to believe you didn't give up on me ever knowing our daughter, Penelope."
"I didn't. I promise you I would never have given up. Not for my sake. For Jaz's."
"You gave her a beautiful name."
"I'm glad you think so." Then she joked "You can name the next one."
He laughed and the tension was broken.
XXXXXX
A few weeks went by.
Derek started to get a handle on his new job. His life was a balancing act. He had to do well at work, adjust to being a profiler, get to know his team mates better, try to build a friendship with Penelope and also spend as much time with his daughter as possible.
The last part was the easiest. He loved to be around Jaz. Penelope even let him take her out alone twice already and he felt like a real Dad then. Just him and his little angel hitting the town together.
Penelope did her best to make things easier for him at work and with their daughter. She really did help him to adjust to the huge life changes going on. They didn't talk about their past anymore but they were flirty with each other and very gentle at all times. They treaded lightly as to not upset the delicate balance they had struck.
Each day he could feel his chance to make love to her slipping away though. Getting lost under the stress and pressure of real life. Amid the harsh reality that if they got together and it didn't work out their daughter would be hurt the most by it.
Every time Derek saw Penelope all the old feelings of lust flared up in him but now it was so much more complicated. They were closer friends and becoming more so everyday. They had a kid to consider. Derek had a job he had to excel at. Penelope had her close friendship with Reid- something Derek tried not to hate because that guy was pretty cool, nice to Derek so far, and excellent with Jasmine. How could he dislike the guy- practically a teenager- who stepped in and took care of Derek's family when he couldn't?
But it hurt to know Reid had all those days with them that Derek could never get back.
The days passed by and things started to fall into place. To settle. Derek just wasn't sure he liked the way they were settling down. Not if it meant he wasn't ever gonna kiss Penelope again.
XXXXXX
Penelope thought things were going pretty well with Derek being in Virginia.
At first it had seemed like a miracle that was almost too much to believe was real. The shock was starting to wear off little by little. Still there were days she had to pinch herself to make sure it all wasn't a dream. They were falling into a new rhythm and it was as good as she ever prayed it could be.
He loved his daughter. Was the cutest Daddy in the world. He got Jaz a shirt that said Daddy's Little Heartbreaker and he got a key chain with her picture on it. He also hung her baby shoes off his rearview mirror.
Penelope was touched to see that Derek still carried the key chain she gave him. That summer seemed like a decade ago now, instead of just two years back. She was so different now. A mom, working for The Man, having responsibilities, a whole new family that loved her surrounding her and giving her the support system she never had since her parents died. Her hacker friends had been great but they were a type that always came and went through her world. She couldn't truly count on most of them. But her BAU family made her feel like they would forever be there for her.
She told herself everyday that it did not matter if her and Derek hooked up ever again. They were starting a great friendship, the deepest one she had ever known, and they had fun flirting with each other. But they weren't carefree like that summer in Chicago and they couldn't have a fling again.
Since she wasn't sure she could handle more and it didn't feel like the right time to rock the boat she just tried to convince herself that she did not want him in that way anymore.
It worked all right for nearly a month.
And then she saw him standing in the break room at work flirting with some other woman. Or Tanya was flirting with him. Same difference. They were standing close to each other, chatting, laughing and their eyes were all lit up.
Penelope turned and left before they noticed her. She knew Tanya worked on another floor. She was just one of many in the building who wanted Derek. It didn't go unnoticed that such a hot man had joined the BAU. There were rumors flying about him and any number of women.
Penelope thought that's all they were though. Just rumors. He was so busy with work and seeing Jasmine that she didn't think he had much time for hooking up. But obviously if a guy wants sex bad enough he can find the time. And for Derek he didn't have to pursue a lover. They fell into his lap like apples falling off a tree.
Well, good for him, she said to herself as she made her way back to her office. I'm happy for him.
Tears burned her eyes. How stupid. She had been dumb to think he couldn't look at another woman the way he looked at her.
She knew better now.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Happy Birthday to you," the crowd gathered in Penelope's living room sang. "Happy birthday to you. Happy Birthday, dear Jasmine. Happy birthday to you."
It had come as a surprise to the team to learn Derek had fathered Jasmine's but once they learned it they respected the fact that Penelope, Derek and Jasmine were a family unit. And they didn't pry for details about the past. All except JJ and Elle. The guys kept mum on all the questions that swirled about how Penelope and Derek's paths had ever crossed.
The team gathered today to help celebrate Jasmine's first birthday. Also there was Cathy, Jaz's sitter, and her boyfriend and her teenage sister. Plus a few neighbors that Penelope had befriended.
The mood was festive and the party was going great. Reid was video recording the whole thing. Hotch and Haley mentioned they might try for a baby soon themselves.
The best moment was when Jasmine pulled herself up on the coffee table and then took a few steps toward Derek, who was sitting in a nearby chair.
Everyone oohed and awwed over her first steps. When Jasmine fell on her diaper clad rear and let out a wail Derek scooped her up. He turned and looked at Penelope. "Did you see that? She's walking now."
Penelope was too teary to answer. She was glad she had been there to see her daughter's first steps and she loved the image of Derek holding their little girl.
Even if Penelope and Derek's one chance to be a couple was lost due to him working undercover she wasn't going to spend her life sad over what she didn't have. She was going to spend it thankful for all she did.
