A/N: (from the desk of Bnjwl) You all are lucky as hell cause tomorrow is going to be super crazy and we didn't want to make you wait for us, so here goes…Well now I have to say that I loved the reviews from Monday! It was so much fun to watch all of you so happy over their reunion. However, I do want to address a few issues you all raised in reviews for a few previous chapters…all of your questions and issues that angered you will be discussed, we promise. Every single gripe that was mentioned in a review we have already talked about and will address it in future chapters. We would never leave you hanging that way, we promise. Now with that said, please always feel like you can bring up things that you wonder about, things that make you angry, or just things you hate. We are okay with that, we like to know what you feel, see, and think! As for the few of you that worried that Emmett and Bella are married…well you will find out the answer here in this chapter! Does that make you happy? I hope so!

Thanks to our team mamadog93, lvtwilight09, and A Jasper For Me! Without you guys we wouldn't be here, where we are without each of you. Our undying love to each of you!

Now, I won't bore you with anymore talking here, just get on down there to read…

Chapter 11B

Several weeks had gone by since I showed up at Carlisle and Esme's house. I had to say, they had been great to me. They had offered me to stay in their pool house so I could move out of the hotel, but I was afraid it was too soon. I wanted to take my time with Riley and getting to know him. He was too young for me to push it, no matter how much my heart wanted that. It was a balancing act, and if I lived that close to him, I would not be able to balance.

So each afternoon, I went over and hung out with him, doing whatever he wanted to do. The first few days were kind of awkward because I just wanted to cry and hold him tightly against me. Obviously, I couldn't do that. So again, that balance came into play. Esme was a great help. She was so good with him and knew exactly what he needed. I also realized, in my mind, Esme was his mother. I never felt the need to want to take him away from them. I merely wanted to get to know him. He was the tangible proof the love between Edward and I existed.

I thanked my lucky stars my mother had the good sense to contact them and ask if they wanted him. I often wondered if my mother chose someone so close yet so far away from us for a reason. I mean we were bound to run into each other sooner or later, perhaps I'd even put two and two together and realize what happened. I don't know if she meant it to be this way or not, but in my mind, I wanted to think she did. That in her death, or even while she was alive, she made it easy for me to find my child. I loved her for that.

It's funny, because as soon as I met Riley, I no longer thought of him as EJ. He became Riley immediately. I saw his personality, and it was a good mix of Carlisle and Esme's. He was so loving, but that was no shocker considering who raised him. Both of his parents were the epitome of caring and loving to all people. It was part of the reason they sheltered Edward the way they did.

Esme always had a soft spot in her heart for Edward. He looked like her, and it made a bond between them. It was also the reason they advised me to stay away from him for a little longer. He was in such a fragile spot right now. He had been in rehab three times now and was trying to get his life back in order. Carlisle was afraid if I approached him too soon it would cause him to spin out of control.

My heart ached more than it ever had as I listened to Esme's tales of all he had done, tried and how hard he worked to achieve his happiness. As hard as those tales were to hear, I was sure there were millions more no one knew about. No one knew what he did or went through when he was alone, scared, tired and hurt. I tried hard not to let my despair for Edward turn into hate for my mother, but I have to admit, most times it didn't work. I called and talked to Charlie. I told him all I had found out and emailed him pictures I took of Riley each day. He suspected things weren't exactly as my mother told us, but he had no proof. Besides, who wants to believe or accuse your wife of the things Renee did to us? No one. You want to believe the person you choose to spend your life with will protect you, love you, and above all else, be honest. I was glad I still had my dad because he could tell me about all of the good things she did. The times when she helped people and how she cared for kids. How she always wanted more kids, but her body just wasn't willing. She almost died in childbirth with me, so Charlie was fine with no more. He couldn't imagine losing her for the sake of another child, so he pushed her to not have more. All of her hopes, dreams and ambitions were poured into me. I meant the world to her, and while it doesn't excuse some of the choices she made, it does at least tell me she wasn't a cruel, evil, heartless bitch after all.

Those few weeks were some of the best of my life, except for the fact Edward was not with me. I had my talks with my dad, and I had Riley. I just longed to make it complete, to fill in the one large gap. I prayed it would be soon for us.

I reached for my phone as it lay on the bed ringing. I knew it was Rosalie calling. Her ringtone was unmistakable and had embarrassed me several times when I was in the presence of what I call the 'stuffed shirts'. She chose 'Bitch' by Meredith Brooks. She thought it was hilarious, and to be honest, for the most part, it described Rose. At least to those on the outside. Once she pulled you into her inner circle, you were in. She protected you, she defended you and loved you with a fierceness I have never seen. So many different times when I was hurt or sad, Rose was the person I went to and not my mom. I never worried when I was with Rosalie, I let my guard down completely and knew I was safe.

Her husband Emmett was her total opposite. He was loud, fun and very outgoing. He loved first and didn't care about the consequences if he was wronged. I wanted to be more like Emmett, to be free with myself and not even worry about the after effects of the hurts in my life. I asked him several times over the years we had known each other how he did it. He just said he had all he needed in his life with Rose, and if nothing else worked out, then he would still be good to go. I was blown away by how simple his explanation was. I expected a debate and lecture that would rival any philosophy professor at some Ivy league school. That was Emmett though.

"What's up chicka?"

"Well, not much here, but I wanted to check in and see how you were doing." Rose always cut right through the bullshit and went to the heart of the matter.

"I'm good, just anxious to finally be able to meet up with Edward again. It kills me to watch Riley each and every day and know Edward has no idea what a beautiful child we created together. I know it would go a long way to help him overcome his demons. Besides the fact we can actually be together now with my mom gone, and I can't get to him." I sighed in frustration.

"Bella, honey, you want Edward to be clean and sober and ready to be a man. Your relationship will fail if he is less than that, so while I know it's hard, you just have to be patient." Her soothing voice lulled me into a tranquil place with it all. Rose always had a way of making me see and understand both sides of things. I loved that about her.

"I know, I know." I ran a hand through my long hair and almost laughed. It was Edward's habit, but lately I had been doing it as well. I guess it made me feel close to him, who knows. "Well, enough about me. What do you and Mr. Big Wig have planned for this weekend? Jetting across the ocean to see some new act so he can sign them before anyone else discovers them?" I teased Rose, but Emmett had been responsible for signing two of the hottest new artists on the planet right now. All from a few stops in obscure clubs and out of the way dive bars. His talent amazed me when it came to the music business.

"Well as a matter of fact, we are going out tonight to see a new guy, Eddie Money or something like that. Em already knows him, but wants to strike up a deal with him now that he is out on his own. Come with me, please. You know how Em gets when he is talking business, and I feel so left alone." I heard her sigh and knew she had me. I hated for her to be sad, and she knew I hated it when she was sad, so she used it against me all the time.

"Besides, look at it like this, you'll be there, so the guys won't hit on me while Emmett is off doing his deal. Basically, you'll save Emmett from a trip to the police station for pounding some asshole who tried to come on to me. Please, Bella." I could almost see her bouncing up and down and her big blue eyes pleading with me. So much so, I had to close my eyes to try to find an excuse to tell her no. I wanted to but I really thought it would give me a chance to go out, have a good time and start this new phase in my life. I was a full grown adult and could count the times I had been out for the night on one hand. That had to be fixed.

"Okay, fine. I'll go, but you might have to loan me something to wear. You know I don't have much that would work for a club." Before I could even get the full sentence out, Rose was interrupting me.

"I got just the thing. Come on over, and we can get dressed here. Don't bring a thing, I got it all!" In her excitement, she hung up on me. I looked at the phone a few times to make sure I wasn't mistaken, and then I began to giggle. I was going out. Me, Bella Swan, eternal old lady, was going out tonight. I was going to get plastered and have Rose drive me home. I was going to enjoy myself like no other night. I could do that now ... I was free.

I grabbed my purse and strutted out the door to my room, onto the elevator and down through the lobby. I hailed the first cab and made my way to Rose's house to get dressed to go out. I giggled again as I thought it. I'm sure the cab driver thought I had lost my mind, but I didn't care, I was going out!

Rose sent me straight to the shower and then blew my hair dry. I put on the clothes she laid out for me, and I had to say ... I looked good. Rose accentuated all of my good spots and hid my flaws. I only had to suffer through one lecture about my weight. "Bella, I thought we decided you were going to put on about ten pounds?" Rose asked gently as she brushed out my long hair.

My eyes dropped down, and I tried to find an excuse she would buy. I knew she was on the other side of the line from my mom and Madamesoille. She thought I was too thin.

"Bella, I know the pressure. I was a dancer too, remember?" She tapped her right knee. She had the same injury Renee had and stopped dancing after that, now she just taught and did some free lance choreography. She wasn't short on clients since her husband was in the music business. He worked with the type of people that usually needed a choreographer. "You aren't in that anymore, no one will stop you. Freedom, remember? We did the whole scene from 'Braveheart' and talked about how this is your life and you choose from now on, but, sweetie, you are too thin, and it is unhealthy. Just a few pounds, Bella. I promise you will not look fat in any way, and you'll be surprised how much better it makes you feel. I swear it." Rose spoke to me through the mirror. I watched as her eyes held mine while she fiddled with my hair. I wanted to stop; I wanted to gain the few pounds Rose was talking about, but it had been a part of me for too long. I just couldn't do it. It had become the only thing I could control; I ran to the bathroom to throw up when I felt out of control. I couldn't stop myself. It was no longer about my weight, it was about so much more. "Listen, enough of that now, we want to go out and have some fun." She nodded her head at me while a genuine smile took over her face. "We'll work on this later. Right now, you look too hot to worry with it." I smiled back at her attempt to make me feel better and vowed somehow, some way I would beat this thing.

Rose, Emmett and I marched out the door and into the back of a limo. I felt like I was important and loved the feeling. I guess I always was one that craved the spotlight after all. Funny how, before, on stage I turned into that person, but off stage I only wanted to sink into the background and be ignored. I'm sure a psychologist would have a field day with that one simple statement from me. I didn't need a professional to tell me it had to do with my mom, I knew that already. Just another change that took place after her death

The club was packed, and there was a line around the corner to get in. We, of course, didn't have to wait at all. We went straight in and were directed to a cordoned off area that was labeled VIP's. My first drink came, and I sipped it slowly. We talked and half-way listened to the opening act as Rose commented on how bad he was. "Em, please tell me you're not here to see this guy, he's terrible." She flicked her hair over her shoulder, this was a clear sign she knew she was right and was prepared to battle in defense of her opinion.

"Nah, baby, the next guy is my man. This jerkoff was just a last minute call-in when the girl that was supposed to perform fell off stage and broke her ankle." I spewed my drink and began to laugh at the poor girl's misfortune. I knew I must have been at least buzzed because normally that would not have been something I laughed at. By the time I cleaned my face off, the dude on the stage was saying goodnight. Rose and I made our way to the bathrooms and stood in line down the narrow, creepy hallway. I silently wondered to myself why the hell no one ever made enough women's bathrooms. Surprisingly though, quickly enough, we made our way in, did our business and I cleaned off the front of my shirt and checked my face.

When we made our way back to the table, the crowd's applause had died down, and I could see a man sitting on a barstool with a guitar in his hands. The spotlight was on him, but his head was lowered, and he concentrated on his guitar. Pain shot through me, and it made me think of all the times I sat in Edward's room as he played for me. Just as my ass hit the seat, the mystery man lifted his head and said, "Good evening, I'm gonna play for you all, okay?" I fainted.

When I came to, Emmett and Rose were standing over me, and I was laid out on a black leather couch. While Edward played unaware on the stage. I pushed Em and Rose out of the way and made my way out of the room. I needed to get to him. I needed to see him.

I found the side of the stage and stood there. Edward was still on the stool. He wore a simple pair of jeans, a t-shirt and his black boots. His hair was longer and kept flopping in his eyes, but I loved how it looked when he threw his head back to belt out a particular part. I stood mesmerized and almost cried when he said, "This will be my last song. Thanks."

I didn't know if the tears were in sadness because he would no longer play or if it was in excitement because he had to walk past me to get backstage. I just didn't know.

I listened as he spoke one more time, "This one's for Bella." I gasped, but not loud enough to be heard over the crowd.

Edward sang.

You call to me, and I fall at your feet.

How could anyone ask for more?

And our time apart, like knives in my heart.

How could anyone ask for more?

But if there's a pill to help me forget,

God knows I haven't found it yet.

But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to.

'Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far;

Trying not to need you, is tearing me apart.

Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor.

And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for.

'Cause trying not to love you.

Only makes me love you more.

Only makes me love you more.

Rose came to stand by my side. She knew who this was. She knew what we had and what he missed out on. In fact, she knew more than even Edward did at that point in time. She just held me as I stood and watched him pour his heart out to me without even knowing I was there to see it.

And this kind of pain, only time takes away;

That's why it's harder to let you go.

And nothing I can do, without thinking of you;

That's why it's harder to let you go.

But if there's a pill to help me forget,

God knows I haven't found it yet.

But I'm dying to, God I'm trying to.

Cause trying not to love you, only goes so far;

Trying not to need you, is tearing me apart.

Can't see the silver lining, from down here on the floor.

And I just keep on trying, but I don't know what for.

Cause trying not to love you,

Only makes me love you more.

So I sit here divided, just talking to myself;

Was it something I did?

Was there somebody else?

When a voice from behind me, that was fighting back tears.

Sat right down beside me and whispered right in my ear,

Tonight I'm dying to tell you.

That trying not to love you, only went so far,

Trying not to need you, was tearing me apart.

Now I see the silver lining, from what we're fighting for,

And if we just keep in trying, we could be so much more.

Cause trying not to love you,

Oh yeah, trying not to love you,

Only makes me love you more.

Only makes me love you more.

As soon as his song was finished, he climbed down off the stool and made his way right towards me. I stood stiffly in Rose's arms. We could both feel the tension radiate from my body. She patted my arms soothingly as I waited for what felt like an eternity.

When he got close enough, I stepped into his path, and he bumped into me. His large, warm hand came up and touched my forearm as he said, "Sorry, miss, I didn't see you there. Excuse me." I begged for his eyes to move in my direction, to see me, to recognize me. Finally, I saw their movement and knew this was it.

"It's okay, Edward." As soon as he heard my voice, his eyes snapped to mine, and he wrapped his arms around me before I could process a single word much less a complete thought. His nose went into my neck, and I wrapped my arms around him as far as they would go. We just stood there in the middle of the hallway, people having to turn sideways to get around us, but we just didn't give a fuck because we were together ... finally.

A/N: (from Bnjwl) And… was it just as good this time? The lyrics used for this chapter was Trying Not To Love You by Nickleback. I heard that quite a few months back and it just sent chills all over me, I knew it was perfect, I sat down and wrote the ending of this chapter with just those words in my head. That was unusual for me, normally I wait for Kyla to write and I use her chapter as my guideline, but this time I was done first! Hope you all liked it, and now you all know that Bella is not married to Emmett! So I guess that makes her free and clear for Edward…hmmm, maybe we should do something about that? What do you think?